2012 Non-Financial Goals

I'm still on the hunt for simple, daily-or-regularly scheduled activities that have a lasting impact on your health or happiness or wealth, like flossing. Small changes that do BIG things: ten minutes a day or less in exchange for huge changes or gaining YEARS of your life later. What other kinds of activities are like that?  I'm looking for answers, but I do the following:

1) eat breakfast every day.
2) Wear SPF every day.
3) floss every night.
4) track my daily spending.
5) Walk to/from work every day (about 30 min. total).

The video below is a good example of the kind of thing I'm looking for:



Along the same vein, there are small habits that, if not done, are very harmful to you in the long run. My main one, identified by my nutritionist recently?

I don't eat enough. Or, rephrased, I don't take any breaks during the work day. 

I need to concentrate on rectifying that this year. Other non-financial goals...kind of a to-do list for 2012:

Organization, Efficiency, and Obligations:

1. Back up computer when I go home mid-year and at Christmas. (Dec.)
2. Make recipe book (or Word doc, really) of meals. (Nov.)
3. Get dental checkup and cleaning. (scheduled April 29)
4. Get eye appointment checkup.
5. File US taxes in April. Done March 27.
6. Organize music to transfer to new mp3 player. Update: May 2012: read the entire manual cover to cover, solved the radio issue, solved the playlist issue. Next step: transferring playlists and audiobooks to mp3.
7. Learn how to use my camera. (Oct.)
8. Buy a smartphone and use it to keep track of my goals and schedule. (Oct.)

Learning and Improvement:

1. Learn 3 new good recipes for my rotation. (Nov.)
2. Check out audio tape of german or spanish from the library.
3. Take career-enhancing class or workshop.
4. Get a new hobby. Joined a knitting circle.
5. Take a basic cooking course. (Nov.)

Social and Fun:  

1. Make 2 new friends (phone number and making plans after initial or several encounters.)  Done May 2012
2. Go out on 1 date. (??? :))
3. Suggest 6 tennis games. (???)
4. Suggest 3 game nights. (April 2012, ???)

Health, Fitness and Appearance:

1. Take three short breaks during each work day. Stop immediately when I get hungry or need to use the bathroom! Try setting a timer? May 2012: I set my alarm on my phone and one or two times a week, it actually works. Still settling into my new job, so hopefully if I make this a habit it will stick.
2. Try a gluten-free diet for one week. (Dec.)
3. Finish my 1.5 L bottle of water a day. (Nov.)
4. Devote 1 hour a day to working out. May 2012: saving up for the membership fee. (Nov.)
5. Moisturize and use SPF daily! This is a habit.
6. Go to dermatologist. (Nov./Dec.)
7. Hire a personal trainer. (Dec.)
8. Floss daily. this is a habit.
9. Use mouthwash daily.  this is a habit.
10. Get 8-10 hours of quality sleep a night. (Nov.)
11. Eat breakfast every day. this is a habit.
12. Dress up once per week. (Nov.)
13. Bleach teeth! (???)
14. Make a 'look book' for myself. (???)
15. Only buy quality clothes that flatter.
16. Go to a natural healing doctor; get adrenal fatigue checked out. (???)
17. Test drive new healthy lifestyle for a few months before starting any medication. (???)

Mental Health, Spirituality, and Quality of Life:

1. Write in gratitude journal once a week. (Oct.)
2. Get back to my 15 minute method. (Oct.)
3. Take more showers instead of baths. (Nov.)
4. Work in a walk or other break in my work day. (Oct.)
5. Make an appointment with a therapist to address issues that are holding me back at work (extreme anxiety about public speaking) and in my personal life (family, dating, avoidance). (Dec.)

Career:
     1. Ask for a promotion and a raise at my performance review. Promotion = I get to pass on more administrative duties to entry-level employees and do more science, and possibly get to manage an entry-level employee full-time. (That will never happen but I will ask!)
1. Keep a job while looking for one on the East Coast of the US near my parents. Secured through April 2013.
2. Talk to my boss about the next step for my career in the US. (Dec/2013)

New Career Goals, in new job:
    1. Ask for a raise to compensate for all of my new duties. Achieved! April 2012
    2. Ask colleagues to recommend transition occupations when moving to the US. Make it clear what I want to do and where I want to do it so they may contact their colleagues and spread the word about me. (2013)
    3. Get more experience with speaking engagements, leading field trips, education (all ages), writing press releases, granting TV and radio and print interviews:
    4. Teach at 4 schools:
        Scheduled for May 18 and May 22;
    5. Grant 3 TV interviews.
    6. Grant 2 radio interviews.
    7. Write 2 press releases or print interviews. October 2012
    8. Submit 3 manuscripts. (April update: 1 done.)
    9. Take a media training course.
    10. Take a science education course.
    11. Give 2 undergraduate lectures.
    12. Read 1 book about public speaking, or take Toastmasters course.
    13. Learn 3 new lab or field skills.
              Scheduled: Lab: ZS, EM, RF.
    14. Join emergency management team.

Some of these are goals that were not met in 2011. Some are new. I think they all will help me with my over-arching goal to feel like I'm living my life to the fullest, the healthiest, best way that I can manage.

I like to have one goal to focus on each year, but I am torn between these two:

Work out an hour every day.
Take three breaks every day.

I could possibly combine the two by walking during my breaks, but my nutritionist strongly suggested that I need to eat more during my workday, so those breaks probably need to be used by snacking on something. Possibly I could snack and walk?? I tend to ignore my bodily needs when I'm working--I work through any pain or hunger--and I'm not sure why I do this. Part of it is that I just totally zone out while working--I get 100% absorbed in whatever it is that I'm doing--and am so completely focused that I forget time. This happens nearly every day (time flies when you're having fun!). That part is awesome, and why I love my job so much, but the corollary downside is that I just forget to eat or go to the bathroom or rest my eyes or whatever it is! That is not good! I think I may set my phone alarm to go off three times a day and force myself into a 15 min. break away from my computer whenever it goes off. Any tips? 

Double Rent: Is this what the EF is for?

When I envisioned using my EF, I thought that a major catastrophe would have occurred: a fire wiping out all of my belongings, a death that I needed to rush back home for. Not this!

I put up my roommate ad over two weeks ago and I have gotten...zero hits. ZERO. How is that even possible?!

My email address is working, because I had a friend test it out for me. Just, no one is interested in viewing my apartment!! Over 400 people have viewed my ad, and 11 have put it on their 'watchlist' on Trademe. Over 300 people have clicked on my ad on Gumtree. But none have actually texted, called, or emailed me to look at my apartment.

I don't get it. I used the same ad as before, and have always gotten a decent number of hits, and at least one or two very cool people to choose between.

My roommate moved out today, and there is no one to take her place. No one to even show the apartment to! I am hoping this is just a pre-Christmas holidays lull going on, and that things will pick up in the New Year. But I have 4 rent payments to make before then...double my usual amount. I'm going to end up spending $2800 in rent this month. That almost equals my take-home salary!

OUCH.

Stupid Bank of America

Again with the fees!  I thought they had decided to scrap that new fee, but I looked on my statement recently,  and my balance was much lower than it should have been. $12 lower, to be exact (I keep the minimum in my checking account and just use it as a vehicle to pay my US credit cards, which are awesome because they give me airmiles and points for gift cards). I looked in the description line, and all it said was 'Account fee'. WTF?!

I read the fine print, and I think they have changed the rules. It mentions that I have to have a 'qualifying transfer' of $250 or more every statement cycle, or I get charged $12. The weird thing is, it says the rules changed back in May 2011, and I just started getting charged for this in November.

The rules used to state that there just needed to be one transfer every statement cycle, like from a salary or social security pension payment--didn't matter how much.

Luckily, many others have found a way to get around this without having to have a salary deposited into their account. Transfers from ING or HSBC or another online bank count as an 'ACH transfer', and satisfy this requirement. So for the past 3.5 years, I've automated my savings and had $1 transferred to and from my ING account every month. Yes, the same $1. An easy fix in order to keep my American checking account open for free.

Now, all I have to do is up that $1 to $250 a month. So I lose some interest on my savings. It beats paying $12!

And the next time I go home, I'm transferring ALL of my checking needs to a credit union. Forget you, you greedy big banks, I'm over you.

2012 Goals

I didn't finish my extra 2011 goals in 2011, so they will become my first priorities in 2012. A review:

Goal 1: Establish taxable investment account at Vanguard. Save $4K. Buy FTSE All World ex US Index Fund. 
     Steps to finish:
            -Save ~$1.5K more in fund.
            -Transfer NZD to USD.
            -Open taxable account with Vanguard.
            -Buy fund.


January 2012: Fund complete; paperwork started. Feb 2012: Completed.

Goal 2: Invest in a stock via sharebuilder.com.
      Steps to finish:
            -Choose a stock where 1 share is < $100.
            -Purchase stock using $100 in my account.
(I've decided this goal doesn't make sense. The amount of paperwork I'd have to do for taxes from overseas if I want to regularly trade stocks is RIDICULOUS. I did get the sharebuilder $50 bonus, though, so basically I received $50 USD for free just for opening an account...).

Goal 3:  Buy a life insurance policy (with total permanent disability and death benefit) for $350K at a reputable insurance firm.
     Steps to finish:
         -Investigate options in NZ, including level premiums?
         -Choose amongst all the options.
         -Purchase policy.

January 2012: Fund complete.

April 2012 update: sent off application. Rep needs to speak with me about my job (?).
May 2012: forms to be sent to me ASAP.

        -Superlife: $350K coverage for death level premiums + $200K TPD for 5 years level premium for $154 a year, + $30 annual 'insurance' fee.

$___ DONE.
     
Goal 4:  Buy an affordable disability insurance policy that covers my specific job and replaces most of my income from a reputable insurance firm. 

     Steps to finish:
          -Investigate options in NZ, including level premiums?
         -Choose amongst all the options.
         -Purchase policy.
         -Superlife: 55% of salary covered (~$30K pa) until I'm 65, 6 month waiting period, $193 per year, with a $30 annual 'insurance' fee.

January 2012: Fund complete.

March 2012 update: sent off application.
June 2012: filled out paperwork (had to wait 1 month in new job). DONE.

Goal 5: Talk to Mom and Dad about long-term care insurance. Again.
     Steps to finish:
           -Set a date with Mom to chat.
           -Have her review her options again.
           -Research options.
           -Buy policy to at least cover my mom (Dad is most certainly not eligible).
N/A. Mom doesn't even want to talk about it.

Goal 6: Buy an affordable contents insurance package here in NZ.
     Steps to finish:
            -Buy BNZ Premiere Care contents insurance. 

January 2012: Fund complete.
March 2012: Spoke with BNZ rep and purchased insurance. Waiting for form to pay.
April 2012: Need to call to confirm.


$461.16/year DONE.

Goal 7: Finalize Will and Trust documents.  

     Steps to finish: 

          -Transfer all accounts to my Living Revocable Trust. HSBC left to go. 

          -Store copies of documents with my mom. USE GOOGLE DOCS + ENCRYPTION, see post from 30 May.
See: https://www.thecolemanlawfirm.net/Funding_a_Living_Trust.html

BoA: need to go see a teller in person
Kiwibank: estate
HSBC:
Kiwisaver: has to go 'to the estate'
Rabo: estate
life insurance: estate
T Rowe Price: done
Vanguard: done

Goal 8: Continue to play the credit card game, amass enough air points to travel home for free in 2013. 
       Steps to finish:
          -Amass enough points to upgrade to business class in 2012. (Should reach this with new cc in March 2012)
         -Charge enough to new cc to get $500 in gift cards for 2012 US trip. DONE.
         -Find cc that will offer enough points to garner a 2013 free flight.
         -Schedule flights home in 2012 using points (Business Class?!).
         -Cancel cards that will charge an annual fee:  May July October.  There's another one in January...


Additional goals for 2012, since I obviously shot too low last year:

-Revise budget based on 2011 spending. March 2012 update: DONE. revised eating out, medical, electricity, internet, and Misc spending based on 2011 spending.


-Set no limit on medical, health, and exercise spending.

-Save $7,500 to various goals:

Goal 9:  Increase long term savings to $500/mo from $415/mo, equaling $6K total ($300/mo to Roth; $100 to House DP; $100 to Europe trip). By March 2012, my Future Roth goal should be complete; I will allocate this $300 per month to my taxable investment account, which will be used for medium- to long-term goals. This goal is important because it gets me acclimated to automating my savings for long term goals. If I move back to the US, I'll be automating $416 + per month to a Roth IRA.

Goal 10:  Save $1,500 to my Wants list to continue to upgrade my wardrobe for work. I'll also have $500 in gift cards if all goes well with my cc plan. March 2012 update: goal complete

Stretch goals:
Goal 11: Save $3K for 2013 US trip (if I use up 2012 trip fund). April 2012 update: goal complete.
Goal 12: Save $4K for a car.  Canceled in Feb 2012 due to CityHop reg. $3.2K will cover access to a car one day a month and annual membership for 3 years. It is a better deal to put this cost into my budget each month rather than paying for a car outright, plus parking, WOF, maintenance, and insurance fees on top of that.

On-going goals:

-Spend less than I earn.

-Continue to put 2% of my salary towards Kiwisaver (with 2% salary match).

-Diligently track every penny.

Lots of work to do in 2012!!

2011 Goals, A+ with Extra Credit

Eh, since I'm not going to be making much progress on my goals in the next few weeks before 2011 wraps up (WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!), I should address my progress this year. Pretty good, but I set the bar low initially.

I met my original 2011 goals back in April:

In 2011, I will:

-Save ~$12,500 to various goals:

1)  $3K to a 2012 US Trip Fund.

2)  Increase long term savings to $415/mo from $340/mo, equaling ~$5K total ($255/mo to Roth; $80 to House DP; $80 to Europe trip) 

3)  $2,500 to my Wants list.  It's time to upgrade the wardrobe and some electronics.

4)  Fill my $5K Move back to US fund (currently stands at $3K).

-Spend less than I earn.

-Continue to put 2% of my salary towards Kiwisaver (with 2% salary match!).

-Diligently track every penny.

-Find a way to track vacation expenses better; figure out a way to report it (as part of monthly spending with a special category, maybe?).

-Buy some Bonus Bonds!

The extra goals I made for myself in 2011 are just icing on the cake, but they are pretty important goals to follow through on:

Goal 1: Establish new taxable investment account at Vanguard in lieu of contributing to retirement.  I imagine that this money will be held for 10+ years & used mainly for retirement, but may help supplement a house down payment, a wedding, Europe trip, or other long-term plan that may crop up in the next decade.  It looks like initial buy-ins for funds are ~$3K, so I'll have to save up a bit to get in the game by the end of the year. Research reveals that Vanguard's FTSE All World ex US Index Fund is a great tax efficient fund to invest in. I thought I had enough saved for this back in Sept., but it looks like I didn't quite make it. Probably one more month and I'll kick this one!

Goal 2: Establish a sharebuilder.com account.  Take advantage of their free $50 for signing up, and  maybe play the stock game to see how it works a little bit. I can see myself using $25 per month in this just for fun and learning.June 2011: account opened, deposited $50 USD to get a free $50 bonus. Will start researching stocks. December: I have done nothing with this. The tax implications, and the fact that I can't find a stock that I like for under $100 are to blame for my wariness to dump it into a stock.

Goal 3:  Send an email to an insurance brokers both here and in the US to find out my options. Talk to Mom and Dad to see how much $$ they'd need in my absence in order to obtain a stable, healthy financial life. Buy an insurance policy (with total permanent disability and death benefit) in that amount, at a reputable insurance firm.  Emails: done. NZ disability coverage while in US possible, as is life. Next step: level or stepped, how much coverage for each, how long, etc. Try to find level premium term life insurance ($350K) in NZ (does it exist?). December update: Need to pull the trigger and buy this.

Goal 4:  Buy an affordable disability insurance policy that covers my specific job and replaces most of my income from a reputable insurance firm. December update: Need to do more research and buy it already!!

Goal 5: Talk to Mom and Dad about long-term care insurance. Shop around and compare prices. December update: Probably not going to happen.

Goal 6: Buy an affordable contents insurance package here in NZ. Something minimal that will help me sleep at night. BNZ PremierCare contents ins. is rated highly, as are their premiums. $250 deductible. Research done. Need to get quote. December update: Need to buy.

Goal 7: Finalize my Will and Trust and other important documents. Transfer all documents to my Living Revocable Trust (will need major research for this!). Update these documents and store with my mom.  Ask my friend to be the executrix. halfway done in Sept. Need to xfer savings and checking accounts to Trust; send scanned docs to Mom and Dad. December update: Need to xfer everything to trust, still. 

Goal 8: Save $2K in my Travel Slush fund.  For those last-minute, awesome opportunities that seem to pop up everywhere these days! DONE.

Goal 9: Save $2K in my Mom and Sister's NZ Trip fund.  For anything else we haven't thought of. DONE.

Goal 10: Play the credit card game, amass enough air points to travel home for free next year. September 2011: with Chase Sapphire card, 50K points amassed. Should be enough points for my trip home next year. Done. December update: Am trying to get enough points to upgrade my flight to business AND get $500 in gift cards. 

So, that is 2011 in a nutshell. 2012 goals will include finishing the above goals, as well as a few fun and health goals.

I'm OK

I really am. I have surprised myself the past few days. While I'm sad that my sister isn't coming to see me, I also know there is nothing I can do about it. I let go so much easier than I used to. I even attended a party today and was sociable for most of it, although I got tired very quickly, I think from the stress of this past week.

I don't know if that is a good or bad thing, getting over huge disappointments so easily. In most ways, it is great, because I bounce back so much quicker from setbacks. But on the other hand, that means I also expect less of people in the future, to reduce the number of disappointments I have to experience. I don't like that part, the ever growing jadedness.

I also know that I will never stop hoping that my sister will get better, even though I also accept that that will most likely never happen. No matter what she does or says to me, either, I won't stop loving her. I can't control her behavior and health, but I can minimize how much I expect out of her. I know this won't be the last time her illness hurts me and makes me cry, not by a longshot, but that's OK. That is what comes with loving someone with this illness. I didn't choose to be her sister, but she is what I have, like it or not.

And, as a life update: I put an ad up on a dating website last night, purely on a whim, to see what is out there. Pictureless, of course, but I actually filled out the entire ad very honestly. I don't plan on following through, but it is a step in the right direction, putting it out there in the Universe. My single greatest dread/fear is to slowly grow older and older and lose everyone that I love, and that loves me unconditionally. I have been thinking about this since my sister first became ill--who will I have when I'm 50, or 80? At this rate, no one. My grandparents have all died in the past 5 years (save one who died when I was 8), and my uncles have started dying. My parents are probably next--they are the oldest of their siblings. My sister, with all of her health problems, surely will not make it very long, I'm sad to say, and I don't expect her mental illness to allow her to make healthy choices as she ages. At this rate, I will be alone very soon, and I don't want to be. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that I will settle in order to not be alone. I hope not, but I'm just not meeting anyone that even remotely matches the feeling I know I am supposed to have. That feeling guides me to what is most important in my life. I had it with someone before (not a candidate now, unfortunately), and I have it now with my job. It may sound picky and high maintenance, but I know it works. Call it fate or God or whatever, IT WORKS. And you know it when it is there.

I also won't be on European TV. I'm relieved! But I'm also proud of myself for volunteering in the face of being terrified. I had even started practicing my spiel in my head. I know I'll be able to do this in the future. It is important to me that I don't make any more regrets for myself, and more importantly, risk being disappointed.

International TV Star

Dude! I'm going to be on TV again (maybe, if I don't wimp out of it)! My boss is yet again too busy to fulfill a media request from some European TV show about our research topic, so she suggested me again. The media people I worked with last time thought I did a good job, so they are happy to let me do the segment again. This is crazy!

My boss gets requests to do this sort of thing ALL THE TIME. I am in awe of her and how easily she handles these tasks. Presentations, interviews, field trips, teaching, all sorts of public speaking, she is all over it, but it is my most dreaded and weak area of my job, aside from writing literature reviews, of course! Part of the next step for me is to get better at those kinds of things, so I guess, here I go? 15 min. segment, all voiceover and camera shots of ME! I hope eventually I will not freak out so much about the speaking part of my job and just accept it as part of normal work.

Yeah, this would never happen in any other place, esp. not the US, where they'd have much more experienced, trained professionals do the job. I can't believe an entire country of viewers is (yet again) going to listen to me explain something. I don't know enough! I'm not experienced enough! Time to do some homework...

November Rain

Agh! Somehow I owe myself nearly $4600. I calculated that I saved ~$3600 in September, but didn't have the cash right then (I usually xfer $$ after the first paycheck of the month so I always have enough to cover costs. Then I had most of the money ($3K), but due to a stupid error on my part, transferred it to the wrong place and it just got fixed. And now I don't have enough $$ to pay myself. Where did the money go? It is confusing to me that I can carefully track every single penny and still not be able to save exactly what I calculated. I blame credit cards and conversion fees...

Anyway, here is my November snapshot:

Income: $3,340.22, two paychecks plus garage rent. I should be getting twice as much garage rent (an extra $18 per week) starting next week, though, because my roommate is moving out and no longer will get her portion of the garage rent.

Under budget, as usual, and I should be able to save $877.87 this month. All to my Buy Vanguard Fund Fund, which sits at $1,744 right now prior to that addition, thanks to some interest income in my Raboplus account. Nearly there! I might be able to top this off by the end of the year, but it looks like I won't be able to finish off my $2K Insurance Fund as well, unless my Christmas bonus is absolutely amazing. Due to dire financial circumstances at my company this year, though, I kind of doubt we get any sort of bonus...I wish they'd take the money they are spending on the stupid company Xmas party (only one person at my company has young kids, so WHY are we renting a bouncy castle and jungle gym?!) and divvy it up amongst us instead!


Rent: $840. Totally boring, just the way I like it!
Groceries: $232.24. Thanks to my insane eating out bill and several work trips.
Internet: $54. This is going down to $40 per month once I get a new roommate! I negotiated my bill from $109 to $80, with no change in GB or companies. Go me!
Electricity: $57.11. Gotta love summer!
Eating out: $194.20. Ouch.
Charity: $25. Will make up for this next mo for sure--December is giving season!
Cell phone: $20. Vodafone topup.
Medical: $0.
Misc: $624.80. Ouch again.
        Alcohol: $42.50. lots of happy hours this month!
        Entertainment: $15. Saw Drive. Hated it.
        Exercise/Fitness: $90. 100 day gym membership.
        Goods and Wants: $236.39. Air pump for air mattress, iron pills, floss, sunglasses, table mats, kitchen rug, silver leaf necklace, table sculpture, three wall prints, Xmas ornament for a party, bracelet
        Transportation: $61.10 for cabfare from ponsonby, busfare to New World, parking fees, cabfare to a friend's house in Mission Bay
        Travel: $179.81. Accommodation for two nights, car rental, gas, and Sand and Seals tour at Abel Tasman
Savings: $415. Yay!

The Aftermath

I am having some very mean, melodramatic, victim thoughts since this NZ trip fiasco went down: "I guess the lesson here is to never trust someone with a mental illness? Or have them be your best friend?" Something is horrible about that statement there. The stigma of mental illness is bad enough, without having everyone shun you or not get too close to you because they may (will) get hurt by you eventually. I can't imagine what that feels like.

I keep trying to put myself in her shoes, but trying to ignore the fact that it really really sucks to be in MY shoes, too. Part of dealing with someone with mental illness is that you feel guilty for thinking of yourself, ever, because the person you love has it so much worse.

But I also know that I can't keep doing this to myself. As an extension of my self-imposed distancing from my sister, I have to expand the reasoning beyond the fact that she makes poor life decisions when she is stable. When she is sick, completely not her fault (or is it?), it hurts me even more. She tries to have me arrested. She says horrible things. She isn't in control when she does all of these things, but in the end, does that matter? It hurts just the same. Sick or stable, she is a one woman wrecking ball of me. I get so jealous of people with sisters who are not mentally ill. So jealous of families that can take vacations together. Who can brag about their siblings. Who don't have to answer questions awkwardly.

And part of me doesn't believe that this timing is coincidental. It's just...she was stable for over two years now, and BAM, days before she was supposed to come here, sick. I finally found her and was able to wheedle the receptionist dragon by saying I was calling from NZ and really needed to speak with my sister. They put me through even though I didn't have permission and my sister is definitely too sick to come. She was talking about pressing charges against our family again (particularly Mom and Dad). She then told me that she didn't even want to come to NZ, anyway.

Only a week ago, she was praising mom and dad for dealing with her so well and how giving and loving they were, and how lucky she was to have them. But I am very close to thinking that she got sick partly to avoid the NZ trip, almost. I think she was scared to come to NZ because of all the stuff we have planned. She said that she hadn't done anything to prepare, physically. She isn't used to driving around on road trips and having every day be packed full of fun things. She was also worried about paying for it, even though Mom and myself told her we would pay. She did this on purpose, part of me whispers, and that same part of me hates her guts for ruining this fun family trip for my mother. And my Christmas, again.

So I hate her right now. There's no getting around it. And honestly, I don't think things will ever be the same between us. Forgiving her for this will take something more than I have right now. This trip represented more than just a family outing to me--it was me sharing my new life and incorporating the people I love into that new life. I'm devastated.

Yup, Canceled.

I just isn't OK for this to keep happening to my mom. She is the best person I know, and her entire life has been ruled and ruined by physical and mental illness. I don't get it. She struggles so hard every day but only deserves the best life has to offer. Karmically, she should find winning lotto tickets and get showered with love every day. Instead...this.

And...this. The last time my mom and sis were supposed to visit me (when I was living in CA), my mom's dad suddenly died a few days before the trip. We were supposed to see him during that trip, too. It is not fair all over the freaking place!

I'm so disappointed I can't think straight. Three years of planning, a whole year of reviewing every little detail to get everything perfect, and $15K, wasted. Mom says she emotionally can't handle planning another trip only to have it canceled again, so it's over. They are never coming to visit me here in NZ. I know I kind of expected this to happen, but I'm so upset that it actually IS happening, right in the home stretch, mere days before we were going to get away with it (that's what it felt like when things were looking good, like we were cheating fate or something), that I am having a really hard time dealing. Things could be so much worse, I know, but it doesn't take away the pain of dashed expectations.

ETA: Oh and my sister is now missing. She doesn't have a phone--stupid XBF stuff--and the hospitals aren't allowed to let anyone know where the patient is against their wishes, so we have no idea where she is. She is angry with us again for some reason and refusing to contact us. The disappointments when someone you love is mentally ill are staggering for everyone involved.

Bummed

Well, my mom and sister's trip is in jeopardy of not happening. My sister called me yesterday in tears due to some XBF problems and sounded extremely irrational on top of that stress. I called again today to check on her and my dad answered her phone, saying that he took her to the local mental health facility to get checked out earlier in the day. She is currently unreachable, with no phone or laptop. It seems that she went from tears to giddy today, which is a really bad sign for someone with bipolar disorder.

So I don't know what is going to happen, if the trip is on or off, and if we should even risk having her here traveling in NZ. If she is in danger of having an episode, the trip will be a TOTAL DISASTER. My mom said that she wouldn't come if my sister couldn't, because it wouldn't be fair to go without her when she so looked forward to the trip, and anyway, my sister will need her close to home if she does have an episode. She also will need some major help with some issues that she has been dealing with lately--my dad is just not capable of fixing problems and doing the necessary things to help her. My sister was attacked by her XBF and has taken him to court for assault charges, as well as a restraining order. The stress of it all is just too much, and she can't afford a lawyer. I feel terribly for her.

On the selfish side, I'm disappointed that they may not be coming. I'm crushed in some ways, actually--I wanted to share my NZ life with them, but on the other hand, I kind of knew that this trip was too good to be true. I've been holding my breath, waiting for this to happen, so I've already have made alternate plans to work through the holiday and search for a new roommate if need be. This is just what happens in my family--I'm not surprised in the least. I feel bad for my mom, though--this was going to be her first time out of the country and she was very, very excited about it.

The only kicker is the cost. We've sunk over $15K in it already, and maybe will get half of that back if we pull out tomorrow (my mom promised to buy travel insurance but, very uncharacteristically, didn't, citing the high cost). I hope we can just make a decision soon so we can salvage as much $$ as possible to pay for a trip when all are healthy again.

An Experiment in Living Alone

Ah, roommates. At 33, they are getting a bit...old, kind of like me. I have never lived alone, and have never intended to. I enjoy having someone around once in a while, having extra room for less money, have someone to split the bills with, and I reckon having another person around keeps me from watching infomercials while eating ice cream at 3 am (I think...Lord knows what craziness my schedule would turn into if there weren't the roommate normalizing effect in my apartment).

Anyway, my current roommate moves out in a few weeks--her rent is all paid up until that time. Two days after she moves out, my mom and sister come to town for 3.5 weeks. I just returned from a week long work trip, and have major plans and heaps of work to do before they visit.

So. Here's what I'm thinking: I pay double rent for the time they are around, and we have my apartment to ourselves. It solves several problems:

1.  Having to immediately find time in my schedule for the grueling roommate interview process in the next week. 
2. The awkward, 'I'm going to bring in my crazy immediate family to live with us the day that a stranger moves into my apartment' situation. Um. No thank you, on either side.
3. My mom and sister do not have to sleep on air mattresses in the living room, common area space. Instead, the two of them have their own queen bed and room, OR one has the spare bedroom and one sleeps in the living room on an air mattress (prob. my sister).

It also creates problems:

1. Our trip just became $1300 more expensive for me (paying double rent for a 3-rent check month or more). 
2. We only need my apartment for 9 days/nights while they are here for 3.5 weeks--we are traveling the rest of the time. 
3. I will have to hope and pray that someone can move in RIGHT after they leave in early January, a time when most people are traveling themselves. 
4. My landlord may see this as an opportune time to try to sell my apartment. Try finding a new roommate in THAT situation.
5. Bills would go up: I would have to bear the full cost of electricity and internet for a month or more.

So, what would YOU do?? I won't go into debt over this, but it is not ideal to spend SO much money on keeping my apartment empty.

Away for a Week...

I am going to the South Island this week for work and don't know if I'll have internet access. But just in case, a) [insert freak out about my talk here, this time it is to the big wigs!] and b) yay, I'm traveling afterward!  Nothing like using a free flight from work to keep traveling costs down. I scored a sweet deal on a car --$100 for three days (and split between 3 people, so $33 each) and we'll be hostel-ing it, so costs should be low for our 3 day trip. Work covers expenses the rest of the time. I'm sure I can go grocery shopping during the week when work is covering it and stretch it out to cover part of the time when I'm on my own dime. :)

Oh! and I had my belated Thanksgiving today. It was lovely, if not a bit hot for the holiday.

Yet Another Roommate...

Well, I swear! I go through them like tissues! The newest roommate has decided to move in with her on-off again boyfriend. Too bad for me, because she has been amazing--pays everything on time, is clean and pleasant, and is hardly ever home. She is really friendly and nice, but honestly, we never hang out and we aren't even facebook friends--both of us are too busy with our own lives to make plans to hang out. I don't blame her for wanting to live somewhere where she can pal around with her housemates.

As for me, well, this couldn't come at a worse time. I'm gone for the next week and a half for a conference and some traveling, and then my mom and sister come immediately after for their trip. I don't know how I'm going to have time to wade through the dozens of psychos that answer Trademe ads, and then show the new person around and teach them all the little rules.

Honestly, I may just use my $2K travel fund and keep the place empty until my mom and sister leave on 9 Jan. It is a really long time, but my roommate's bond should cover 3 weeks of that, and then it is just 3 or 4 more weeks of rent to pay. That way, my mom and sister have a room and bed all to themselves! I can also double the garage rent again since my roommate won't be sharing the garage spot anymore.

Not to mention, this could cause my landlord to pull the trigger on selling my place...in which case I'd be moving out, too.

Ridin the High

It got higher! Love my job. I just got back from a trip during which I experienced what might be the peak of my career. I don't know what could top it, honestly...

Honestly!! The least of it is that I got paid to do something that other people can never do. And even if they find another way to do it, they pay oodles of money. The most of it is, well, I got to do something that hardly anyone in my career field actually gets to do. I am one very fortunate and thankful human being.

On a High

My boss has lately taken on much more than she can handle. Even she doesn't know how she keeps everything ticking over smoothly and how no projects have gotten severely compromised in the process. Simultaneously, I am going through an incredible growth spurt, career-wise. I finally kind of feel that I know what I am doing, where I am going, and how to handle any roadblocks that come my way.

This is my chance!

Whenever possible, I take tasks off of her plate. I have asked her to send tasks to me if she thinks I can help out with them. I volunteer for tasks she normally does. The day-to-day running of the multi-million dollar, decade-long project has pretty much fallen to me because she simply just doesn't have time to deal with the smaller tasks. 

It's awesome! She is there if I need some guidance, but basically I am running the show. 

The next year is going to be an incredible test of my abilities and how far I can stretch my time management, mental capacities, and life balance skills. My job tasks have grown and grown over the past 3 years, but I haven't had to say 'no' to anything yet--I have grown into them and along with them. I feel like the day I have to say 'no' to new tasks is coming, but I know that I will not want to because it will be (yet another) incredible opportunity. And so it goes. I have to start focusing and creating goals for myself, so that I know what will be beneficial for me to say 'yes' to in the future.

I guess I first have to ID my overall career goal:

Become skilled in subject X so that I can work in the US for a specific company in a particular capacity (sorry I can't be more specific!). 

Now I have to ID skills necessary to get the job:

1. The dreaded speaking skills:
1. presenting scientific info to scientific conferences (poster and oral forms)
1. appropriate/effective powerpoint presentations
2. presenting scientific info to media (TV, radio, print)
3. presenting scientific info to organizations that will use the info (from a business perspective)
4. lead field trips, again to all of the above audiences
5. teach classes, to undergrad and grad students
6. mentor MSc students and assist with mentoring PhD's in specific skills
7. introducing and running meetings
2. Written
1. write manuscripts for publication in scientific journals
2. write short articles for press releases
3. write short articles for government, businesses, other scientific audiences 
4. write abstracts for conferences
5. grant proposals
3. Field skills (#3-5 can be very specific; I'll keep a list to myself)
4. Laboratory skills
5. Software/computer skills
6. Interpersonal skills (this comes in handy more than you would think!!)
7. Project management
1. budget creation
2. project creation and planning ($ and time)
3. reporting
4. garnering new sponsors ($$)
5. milestone management/keeping others on task
6. database creation and maintenance
7. organization of large meetings, workshops, and seminars

It's hard to imagine that any opportunity that comes my way won't be able to help in one of these categories, but it is good to list it all out, anyway. Eventually, I will feel like I have enough experience to try my hand at getting a similar job in the US in my specialty, and I'll have enough background knowledge from the above list to get the job done, plus be experienced enough to have several back up plans. 

I feel like the luckiest duck of them all.

One Down, Two to Go

With the completion of my recent meetings and presentation, I now have two more presentations to give in the next 3 months, the first of which will be in 3 weeks. Luckily, I can present nearly the same talk at all three, just tweaking a bit for each audience.

I realized last night, when meeting a plethora of new people (yes, I was supposed to go to bed early, but that didn't happen--too much fun stuff going on!), that I really only can talk about my job with any sort of passion. It is my go-to conversation subject, and I can't help but try to relate everything to it. It must be quite boring for others that have no interest in it. I wish I had a few other things going on in my life that I was equally/more excited about.

I do like travel quite a bit, but it is only sometimes polite to bring up, since not everyone gets that opportunity or even wants to travel internationally. In NZ, most everyone is from another country, which means, by default, they travel quite a bit (with the exception of a lot of Kiwis, and even they travel more than most Americans).

I also really love music. I can talk about that all day long, too. But unless the person I'm talking to is interested in the exact same underground indie bands as I am, we're not going to have that much to say to one another. It also comes off as pretentious if you're name dropping little-known bands; it sounds like you're trying to prove you're more with it than the other person. Plus there is the fact that I no longer have whole weekends to devote to discovering new music; work takes up quite a bit of my energy and thought. And I refuse to pay $80 to see just one band.

Even when I'm not working, I'm often thinking of my projects. They're just that interesting to me and require that much planning and fore-thought (esp. since my thought processes are much slower than they used to be--I think there are some health issues at play here).

In my free time, I can be found watching terrible reality shows and girly movies and reading frivolous, non-thinking books. Maybe it is the intensity with which I need to think at work, but when I get home, all I want to do is let something effortless entertain me and veg. I'd like to read more high-brow novels, but I don't often have the capacity for concentrating after a work day. I'd like to cut down my TV time, but I'm not sure what else would require less thought. :)

And of course, I love money and personal finance. However, as most people know, you don't bring that subject up upon first meeting someone. Like politics, it is kind of a tricky subject.

But I'd love another hobby of some sort. Something creative, like painting or collaging or anything, really, to get me away from the computer. Or something active and social, like Tae Kwon Do or maybe a team sport.

In the meantime, the next few months are going to be packed and insane. I apologize in advance for not having much blogging time. Next week, in particular, I get flown in an NZ military helicopter to an amazing location to do fieldwork. It is going to be insane, and I can't wait! I just keep falling more and more in love with my work--it brings me opportunities that I never thought I'd be lucky enough to get to do.

What. A. Day.

So I didn't sleep a wink last night, had a killer headache that no amount of advil cured all day, and had still have a terrible stomachache. I was seriously dreading giving a talk and running a meeting after pulling an all nighter after getting out of bed this morning. It turns out, this is when I thrive. When the pressure is on like that, and I have low expectations of myself, I absolutely kill it.

I probably gave the best presentation of my life today. I was funny, I was smooth, I didn't trip up, I looked at the audience, only a few 'um's, and I said nearly everything I wanted to say. Where have I been all my life??

My boss was extremely happy, the audience asked interesting and interested questions (like they didn't tune me out for the entire thing, like they actually listened!), and I may have gotten a major funder of our larger project to give us more money to expand my study beyond even what we dreamed of.  That, my friends, is a slam dunk.

Not only that, but a LOT of moving parts had to come together to make today's meeting work. Everything went off without a hitch, and I anticipated my boss's every need before she even had to say a word. During the breaks, I was witty and social and a great hostess and introduced everyone to everyone else and invited all the people standing alone into the fold so they felt included.

Maybe, in order to get the life I want, and to be who I want to be and the best of who I really am, I need to sleep less. (Or maybe, in my sleep deprived haze, I have a false sense of what happened. I am running on adrenaline.)

I always knew I could do it, but under these conditions? Really? I don't understand myself. How does that work?

Ah, tomorrow is another similar day. This time, though, I sleep. I'm not pushing this luck.

Yup, Freak OUT

I didn't sleep at ALL last night: toss, turn. Check alarm. Toss, turn. Set extra 4 alarms. Rinse. Repeat. Count down the minutes til the alarm went off. Yikes.

I have to present this afternoon. And I'm in charge of today's all day meeting. OMG, I hope I get through this without passing out or sounding completely idiotic. Lord help me, the meeting starts in a half hour. Tomorrow is the exact same.

I owe myself some ridiculous pampering this weekend.

The Usual Freak Out

I know a 50-something scientist that flat out refuses to give talks. No matter how hard we beg, how great her research findings are, whatever, she says she won't do it. It is frustrating for her colleagues to have to present her work, and we wonder what is wrong with her.

I don't want to be like that.

Tomorrow I have to give a presentation! I always freak out about these, and tonight is no exception. I am in charge of putting the two-day seminar together AND I'm speaking at it. That has made the past few weeks pretty crazy, on top of being worried about giving my talk.

When is this going to stop? I remember in grad school I had to give a little talk every week for this one class I had. I got a little anxious before each one, but nothing major, because my class was filled with my five best friends. Um...not intimidating. And somehow, giving a talk to your grad school friends during a class or for your Master's defense (or any situation where you are forced to) isn't as scary as volunteering to talk and saying, this is what I have, look at me! In science research, yes, it is just a part of your job: you give presentations. Those that don't (and there are quite a few) are looked upon as silly (like the above-mentioned researcher).

With each talk I give, it seems like I get a little more nervous instead of less. I don't get it. With each talk, I start out fine, then get really freaked out about a minute into it, and lose everything that I practiced. I resort to everything I know NOT to do: 'um', 'uh', read off the slides, look down instead of at the audience or just face my slides, etc.

I always put a joke in my talks, too. I hope it goes over well tomorrow.

When not worrying about it, I've just been flat out denying the existence of the talk in my head, which has become my MO lately. I should be practicing now, while my roommate is out and I can talk to myself as much as I want, but I'm blogging instead.

OK, let's psych myself up. After all:
1) I recently gave a TV interview. This is way less nerve-wracking than THAT.
2) I have given two talks in the past two years and didn't die.
3) My boss, while going over our seminar schedule, muttered, "Sense...'(my talk title)'...oh yes, you are speaking, looking forward to that--you always give great talks!" I'm pretty sure she is thinking of someone else, though. She has only seen me give one talk thus far.

Oh, and my first journal article was published this week. I'm super proud of it. I taped it up on my door at work and everything. :)

Sister Saga, Part a Million

Aaaaaannnnnnddddd, we're back to where we started.

Sister and Crazy BF are broken up again. They got engaged not long after I came back to NZ. Who is really surprised?

Sister got a restraining order against him and is pressing charges for attempted assault and battery (his grandpa walked in the room before he could do anything serious, thank God). I just hope this sticks.

More than anyone, I really feel sorry for the Grandpa that he lives with. I know what it feels like to feel responsible for someone that continues to make bad choices. In the Grandpa's case, he either throws his grandchild out on the streets to fend for himself, or allows the grandchild to live with him, bringing all that worry and heartache on himself. It is not easy, but it is something that you do out of love.

I am still staying out of her life for my own sake. Even if she stays away from this one very messed up dude, she has a lot of work to do to stay away from them all AND to start taking care of her health. It still feels very selfish, but the right thing to do.

Three Years of Culture Shock

GD it! I've about had it with this country!

My first year living here I dealt with moments like I dealt with today on a regular basis, and somehow, 3 years later, they still surprise me.

Shopping in New Zealand is the WORST. I almost think they do it on purpose, after today!

I wanted to buy a special cable to hook my netbook up to my TV. After looking online, I found what kind of cable to buy, and it was listed as $1. ONE US DOLLAR. Which is, maybe, $1.50 NZ max including conversion rate and US tax.

Fast forward to conversations in two electronics stores:

"No, we don't have that cable in New Zealand, even though it would work fine here."

"You have to buy this $180 thingamajig instead, but we don't stock it so I'd have to order it for you."

WTF?!

Yes. I am going to buy something for $180 when I can get it for a dollar. That makes sense. /sarcasm

First Class

That's me, baby!

Ha. I forgot to mention in my last post that I'm shy of a mere 7,000 points to get to fly Business Class to the U.S. for FREE on my next trip!

Actually, I have several options:
a) earn the points between now and June by using my cc for everything. Doable but annoying considering the transfer fees to convert currency.
b) buy the points. Less time consuming but expensive.
c) convert my American airmiles to United/Continental to top it up. Big time factor and $$ involved, plus the fact that I'd lose at least half of the points in the conversion.
d) just get an Economy ticket and cash in the rest (48K points) in gift cards for shopping while in the US. That will net me $480 in shopping $$. Very tempting...
e) apply for another reward cc and fly Business class AND get $500 in free shopping.

OR: use a) or c), plus b) to top up my airmiles account to get a Business class ticket. Use e) to get $500 in shopping rewards.

I'll be applying for the Citi ThankYou Rewards card to get 50,000 points. :)  Hey, I'm going to be spending loads of money when my mom and sister come in December, anyway--might as well get something else out of it!

>$2200 Free. Ka-Ching!

I almost forgot to check my credit card statements this month. Whoops!  I don't normally use them when I'm in NZ--the transfer of NZD to USD is time-consuming and painful, even with the high conversion rate as of late. Instead, I use my NZ debit card.

The only downfall of that debit card is that I don't get rewards points for what I spend. In the US, it was de riguer to buy everything with credit to get the points. I always loved getting that $50 gift card to Target--as much as once per 3-4 months with 5% cashback--just for buying stuff I had to buy anyway, like groceries and gas. That $50 gift card was essentially costing nothing ($1000 in unavoidable, normal spending).

Those were the days...

I noticed when checking my credit cards for any suspicious activity (everything was at $0 as expected) that Chase Sapphire had rewarded me my 50,000 airmiles for spending the planned $3,500 USD on my trip last month.

That 50,000 airmiles puts me at 126K and change for United/Continental. A round-trip flight to my parents' house is 80K. Hurrah! One of my 2011 goals is done:


Goal 10: Play the credit card game, amass enough air points to travel home for free next year. 


Current market rate for a flight home next summer is $2200 USD. Now in free flavor.

So I just have to say to myself: Absolutely fabulous planning, my dear.

Why, thank you!

Hilariously

I shared my recent frustrations with one of my bosses today, and she came up with the same solution that I did to my newly restricted work hours: ignore it. Put in my extra hours as necessary, then when I want time off, say I'm working from home. She thinks it is as stupid as I do. Love it!

I thought that was awesome. :) She also kind of gave me a promotion--I'm now managing someone one day a week (I was doing this anyway, but very unofficially)--and several more amazing opportunities, including one directing a mini-project where I'd manage the work of a PhD student.

Never mind that I don't have my PhD. Because of that, I initially suggested that I assist the student, but then she said no, no--the PhD candidate would actually be helping ME.

I know this is all coming about because my boss recently became insanely busy, but also because I have been handling several of her normal responsibilities without any problem, and I did it willingly and without really asking her if I could--it was obvious that she was too busy to do them so I stepped up because I knew I could do a good job and that she would appreciate it.

On the flip side, I had to lay down the law with my other boss via email the other day who seemed to be trying to mess up one of my favorite projects with a crazy plan that was masked as 'concern'. Ugh. I am now assuming that everything she does is part of some underhanded attempt to destroy my reputation and career, which is what she did (and is still trying to do) to my former colleague. It is amazing, there are only two options: 1) she is an outright, manipulative LIAR or 2) she has a mental illness. It is not a nice feeling to think that, and I may be taking it too far by believing that. I want to not believe it, so I'm going to attempt to give her the benefit of the doubt from now on. I won't be passive about saying what I think, though--and that is what scares her the most. She chooses to hire people based on who she thinks will not know enough or dare to challenge anything she says. In science, this is a very bad thing; it can only grow in an environment where everyone questions everyone and everything.

I seemed to have turned a corner in my career; work feels different since coming back from my trip last month. After nearly 5 years out of school, I found the perfect job for my personality and interests. After 3 years in that job, I guess I feel like I've earned my stripes and can handle almost anything. I have a very very VERY long way to go before I am where I want to be  (especially compared to where my mentors and bosses were at my age and where my peers are today), but this confidence thing? Speaking and stepping up? Taking risks instead of avoiding scary situations? Demanding respect? They are very surprising, new, and welcomed facets to my personality. I just hope it continues; I am enjoying it very much, but I know that they are vulnerable and likely to disappear under the weight of even small criticisms. I also know, from observing others, that new traits can go overboard and be overbearing to others in their insistence to flourish, and that they sometimes take a while to mature into balance with the rest.

Maybe this is what happens in your 30's?

Oily October

During this month, several major events occurred around NZ: the disastrous Rena oil spill (which still isn't resolved), and NZ winning the Rugby World Cup!

Both of these events affected my budget for October.

In my personal life, I continued to have issues at work, but also gained a few awesome opportunities and went on a course I've been meaning to do for quite a while. Two friends at work left due to the aforementioned work issues. I have removed myself from my sister's problems for my own sake.  

It has been a rough month. 

Rent: (25%) $840. Lovely that it is so stable. 

Groceries: (18%) $602.14. Whoppingly overbudget, due to several factors.

Internet: (2%) $54. Hope to reduce this soon.

Electricity: (2%) $52.56. I love summer!

Eating out: (4%) $124.80. You'd think that my inflated grocery bill would have helped here. Nope.

Charity: (4%) $125.69 (some went to the Rena cleanup effort)

Cell phone: (1%) $20

Medical: (3%) $101.66. Saw several 'doctors'.

Misc: (8%) $265.63. 

Savings: (13%) $435 

Total: $2,621.48 (underbudget)

Income: $3,340.22. 

Total leftover for short-term savings: $718.74 (22% of my income)

35% savings rate

Commentary on selected categories: 

Groceries ($602.14) were the big surprise this month, but there are good reasons for it: 1) I had to stock up on items after returning from a month-long vacation and 2) I saw a nutritionist and I am buying different foods now. More expensive foods...

I hope to switch up my internet plan from Orcon to Vodafone. I hate paying Orcon for a phone line I never use ($45 a month!), but they do not offer naked broadband to my apartment, so I'm stuck switching to Vodafone's cheaper plan & contract. Hope to do this at the next billing cycle.

Eating Out: ($124.80) Blame the RWC! My friends and I went out every weekend and ended up starving after every evening was over. Enter takeaways, pizza at the local kebab shop, etc. My friend had a leaving do and we went out to eat. My friend had a party and she doesn't eat certain things, so I had to splurge to buy a cake that she could eat. And I got desperate after work one night around 9:30 after all the shops had closed, and spent way too much on a crappy italian dish.

Medical: ($101.66) I had a check up ($17), got a bunch of allergy meds refilled ($15), bought protein powder for smoothies ($30) after a nutritionists appointment, and paid $40 for thyroid support pills after a naturopath appointment (they don't do jack).

Charity: ($125.69) Some to Rena, some to the Heart Association, some to my friend's cousin's memorial scholarship fund, some to two charity events that I'm participating in this and next month. I love that this is overbudget. I may need to increase this line item, anyway.

This month, short-term savings will go towards funding several insurances I need to buy: life, contents, and disability.

Here's to it getting better with absolutely no effort on my part...

I've mentioned my work problems before. I was in a pickle, I guess you could say, because I felt damned if I did and damned if I didn't...

I really wanted to confront the people I was having problems with, but very much doubted that it a) do any good and b) wouldn't come back to bite me even harder later. In fact, I was positive that it would come back to bite me. So I held my tongue for the time being. I was prepared to bide my time, prepare a case, and then present my evidence to the Big Boss at my review next month. But as it turns out, I don't have to.

One of my friends at work is quitting over the same kind of stuff--and when we compared stories, we discovered that one person was the cause of all of the problems. I urged her to tell the Big Boss about the issues she had, so that maybe something good would come of the bad of her leaving. She did, and also mentioned to him that several other people also had issues, including me.

Big Boss, being very concerned about his company, personally went around to several staff members to ask their side of the story. I happened to run into the boss, not knowing this whole story, and he asked to see me in his office.

It is scary when the CEO of your company randomly asks to see you in his office. I'm gonna just put that out there. No matter how nice he is (and he is the NICEST!!), it is still a little nerve-wracking.

At the staff meeting that day, he actually relieved this person we all were having problems with of his HR duties. What a relief!  I just hope we don't get anyone worse in, you know? For now, I'm counting my blessings that I didn't even have to explain all the he-said, she-said, and that my CEO is taking action to fix one of the main problems in my company. This is one of the rare cases that I don't have to fight tooth and nail to get what I want.

Garage Woes and Parking Tows

For the past 6 months or so, I've been raking in some very easy dough: $18 a week for doing absolutely nothing. Basically, it is passive income at its finest. And it made me look at landlording (is that even a word?!) in a whole new light.

I rent my garage spot out for $18 a week (a steal for where I live!) to a random from TradeMe. He only parks there 4 days a week and allows my roommate to park there sometimes when he isn't using it. Great deal, right? A little compromise for everyone. I asked my roommate if she wanted the spot to herself for $18 a week, and she has always said no. I told her whenever she wanted it to herself, we kick him out, and it's hers for $18 a week or whatever she wants to negotiate. When both my roommate and my garage tenant need to park, one parks inside the garage, and one parks just outside.

Technically, you are not supposed to block the garages. And since we have a double garage that our downstairs neighbor uses, I have warned my roommate and garage tenant that they are to NEVER block the neighbor's side of the garage, under any circumstances. She is well within her rights to tow if that happens. And she is a bit...stern about this.

I am guessing you know where this is going...

Last week I got a frantic call from my garage tenant. He had parked outside of the garage for some reason (my roommate was out of town with her car, NO IDEA why he parked outside) and his car was gone. No one knew anything--not my neighbors, not the management company, not the tow companies.

We thought it was stolen. I freaked out, because my place is very very secure normally. All the doors and many windows of the 15 or so apartment blocks face each other, and generally there is always a neighbor around that will see something fishy going on. Several families live here and most of us are long-term tenants, anyway. I am saving up for renter's insurance this month, so OF COURSE something like this would happen right before I planned to buy it.

On with the story:

He called the police, who informed them it was indeed towed. Sucky, a $300 fee to get it out of impound. I felt  horrible for him, and offered to refund that week's rent. It isn't much, but it sucks to have your car towed--I've been there.

I think what happened was that he and my roommate had made some sort of agreement about who uses the inside spot, but neither of them told me. I really don't care, as long as they are happy.

I'm pretty sure my neighbor had the car towed. She denies it, but honestly, if it was in her way, I don't blame her.

When garage tenant first started parking, we signed a sort of lease agreement for the garage spot. My current roommate wasn't there yet, so when she moved in, he agreed to let her share the spot for half the rent (he was originally paying $36 a week, $18 to me, $18 to my roommate--my roommate now is effectively parking instead of getting $18 each week).

Today, garage tenant threatens to sue me for the $300 towing fee because it isn't his fault or whatever and apparently his lawyer friend told him that it is the responsibility of the contractor to take care of this kind of stuff. I just tell him, our contract is for the inside of the garage. I can't help what happens outside of it--you've been warned about being towed there & it is always a risk. I told him I'd happily refund last week's rent and arrange for him to always have the inside spot since he is paying for it. My roommate will have to deal--it's free parking for her!

He went for it, and is now no longer threatening legal action. But seriously, you cannot hold me accountable for being towed anywhere but inside my garage. Whatever he and my roommate decided, it isn't in the contract.

So all is OK now, although I'm worried that my roommate will want to move someplace where she isn't afraid her car will get towed. (Maybe I should just let her have it for free? She is pleasant, pays bills on time, clean, and is hardly ever home. While I'd like to be best friends with my roommate, this is probably the second best situation I can think of.) What a debacle, though. I kind of don't ever want to be a landlord if this is what can happen over a stupid garage spot!

Over Five Years Blogging!

Oh my gosh. I simply cannot believe that when I first started posting here, I was five years younger! It was 2006, and I was in my late twenties. Turning 30 was starting to become a fleeting thought, something that felt far away but that I knew was going to happen, and I'd better start planning for it.

I hated my job but didn't fully realize it, preferring instead to ask for more opportunities so that I could show them what I could do, ask for classes, and hoping that through all my enthusiasm and willingness to learn, things would get better.

My family was a mess. My dad was ill, my sister was ill and in and out of mental hospitals, my mom was a wreck, but at least  I still had one grandma and one grandpa around.

I was starting to date the guy who eventually brought me to NZ.

I lived in beautiful, sunny Southern California. I knew that I adored the weather there, but mentally, I was in a terrible rut. Despite many many efforts and too-many-to-count invitations to random people, I couldn't find many people that I actually liked hanging out with, instead (again) making do with the people that were willing to hang out with me consistently. I had two weeks of vacation a year, which I used to go home, even though I lived in one of the most beautiful and greatest states in the country.

The townhouse I lived in then remains my favorite place I've ever lived. Ten blocks from the beach and with roommates that were a joy to come home to every evening. I've never felt more comfortable in a place than that.

I was still stuck in grad school in my head--the people, the places, the atmosphere...

Financially, I was a mess but getting it together. I finally had a steady paycheck that added up to a livable amount (e.g. not grad school wages). I didn't have a large EF, I had debt, I was learning to cut back, and I had humongous dreams that felt completely insurmountable (i.e., save for a Europe trip, wedding, retirement, kids, new car, etc. etc.!).

I started my blog when I was stuck in Las Vegas for a month during a work trip. Over the weekends, I hung out in my amazing Hilton hotel, saw the Hoover Dam, took many hiking trips out to the Valley of Fire, and avoided everything typically Las Vegas. I never gambled nor drank a drop while there, the entire month. Mostly because I was there alone. It is not that fun to gamble or drink alone. (At least, I've never been tempted to do any of those things alone!) Still, I ran out of ideas and needed something else to do--and this blog was born.

I'd been thinking about it for a long while. I was very close to making my last debt payment when I wrote my first post. I somehow stumbled onto PF blogs during my journey to pay off debt--I think maybe through Karyn Bosnak, who wrote the book that inspired my entire journey. Or maybe I found one in another random www way, as you do, I don't know. All I do know is, here I am. I remember making my first comment on a PF blog. I had no experience with blogs, and doing so kinda felt like I was talking to a celebrity--I knew all about them, and they had no idea who I was. It was really weird--there I was, reading someone else's personal experiences like they were a close intimate friend, but they had no idea who I was, some stranger on the internet. And then, when I actually started my OWN blog, I felt unworthy--who am I, to put stuff out there and let people read my most personal thoughts? Who said that I could do that?

Just me. I only write for me, and I think it shows. Even today, five years later, I have not blown up like many of my counterparts who started around the same time that I did (J. Money and Trent come to mind--I have comments from both of them in the early years of my archives!! :) ). I don't make any money from ads. I don't get many comments. My writing is not 100% grammatically correct, is self-centered, meandering, and probably only entertains me. I may go private soon, because at this point it is about keeping track of my goals, and I'm tired of being anonymous. I want to be able to write freely. (I also would love feedback from strangers, but I can't tell my story with no censorship AND have full anonymity. Impossible.)

So I don't have tightly written posts. So I haven't gotten any better at this than when I started. I don't know about google search optimization, monetization, PF carnivals (Can I be honest? I find them incredibly boring and always skip those posts), or writing how-to posts to catch people's attention ('How to reduce your cockatoo bill in 5 easy steps'), etc. I don't edit my posts, they are all stream-of-consciousness. I could do all that stuff if I wanted to, and I have dabbled here or there, especially in the beginning. But it doesn't suit me.

So, Five Years Later, where am I? Am I where I thought I'd be at 33? Absolutely not!!! But maybe I'm in a better place than I thought I'd be? At least in some ways, that is true.

I now have a job that I absolutely adore. I no longer calculate how many cents I make each second or minute at work. (Seriously: if you are doing that, LEAVE YOUR JOB.) I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my career.

My family is still a wreck. I think things have gotten slightly better in some ways but much worse in others. I no longer have any living grandparents, a fact that saddens me every day.

The guy I was dating 5 years ago is no longer in my life except in the way he changed it by bringing me along with him to NZ.

I travel LOADS. Now, if there is a long weekend, I usually go away for it. No opportunity is squandered--none. I look back and cannot believe that I used to waste so much time in California. What was I DOING instead of exploring that beautiful state?! It is such a shame, but I've learned a lot about travel planning between now and then, and learned how to camp, too (cheap!!). Back then, travelling felt like it took a lot more effort than it does now, and I didn't have good people to go with, anyway. See: doing things alone in Las Vegas. Like drinking and gambling, traveling alone isn't that much fun for me (see next section).

I have people I like to hang out with--MUCH better than the ones in California, but less so than in grad school. They are not just people I tolerate because I can't find people I like better--I do like hanging out with them. If I had a gripe, it would be that I don't have any friends my own age--they are all 10 years or so younger. But they like to travel like I do, so it's not that bad.

I have an apartment that I like, but it is better than every other apartment that I have looked at on TradeMe (countless hours on that website, searching for the Perfect Apartment...). My roommate now is never home, but is pleasant when she is home, and pays the bills on time, so I'm happy with her, but it could be a lot better, compared to my situation 5 years ago.

I continue to be stuck in grad school in my head, but slightly less so. It is how most people view their college days--the BEST of their lives. It's hard to compete with that. My job now revolves around a University, and maybe that is part of why I love it so much.

Financially, I feel good. Not great, but on the right track. I have a budget worked out. I have a healthy EF. I consistently save. I don't have enough in retirement, but I'm working on that. I have funds for my Insurmountable Goals set up, and contribute each month. I have plenty to fund my travel addiction. My spending radar is honed very well. My mistakes have become smaller. I'm very happy with how my finances are going.

I'm sure that these aren't the only ways my life has changed. I wonder where I'll be in another 5? Cheers to a happy place.

GO ALL BLACKS!

Crazy day in Auckland planned--it is already standing room only on Quay St.! Having lunch and pre-drinks and heading down at 3. I can't wait for the insanity! RWC is the best!!

Health Issues

As well as work issues and family issues, I'm having some health problems. They go way, way back before any of the other problems started. My story, for those that haven't been here before:

Eight years ago, I was stricken with mono. I say 'stricken' because that is exactly what it was. After about a month of feeling headachy, tired, weak, and with a sore throat (flu-y), which I attributed to being stressed out or just being lazy, I had a big field outing one weekend--the very last bit of 2 years of fieldwork for my master's degree, thank GOD--and came home from my flight and crashed. I slept for over two days straight, only getting out of bed to crawl to the bathroom. I barely remember the next four days. Monday and Tuesday, I was sleeping. Wednesday I was awake for maybe a half an hour to eat. I couldn't even watch television, all I could do was lay in bed. Thursday was more of the same. Friday my mental capacities had recovered enough that I decided to go to the doctor. I drove near the health center at the university I was attending, but there was no parking nearby, so I had to park in a spot that was usually a ten minute walk away. It took me over an hour to walk in--it was agony and took all I had to not collapse on the sidewalk. I have no idea why I didn't call my boyfriend at the time or my friends to drop me off (?). They did a test immediately and then announced that I definitely had mono. That week still kind of haunts me. I had no idea what was wrong, but I knew that something was really, really off. It was very scary.

Prior to mono, I was a purple belt in tae kwon do, and worked out for 2-3 hours at a time three times a week. I ran several miles the days that I didn't have TKD. I biked several miles to and from work every day. I had plenty of energy--physical and mental--for whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. I loved my life.

Overnight, my entire body, and life, changed. Even after I 'recovered' from mono and the antibodies were not detected in my system, my energy levels were so low it was pathetic. Getting me to work out is a humongous chore--for many years after my mono I just didn't do it. When I do work out, I get terrible headaches, body aches and have to sleep over 12 hours a night to recover, for two or three days. My brain is constantly foggy, I can't remember anything, I can't do math anymore. I confuse words, I can't hold a thread of conversation. My sentences are tangential and I can't argue. I'm cold all the time. I'm pale, weak, and sleep over 10 hours a night to feel anything close to rested. My blood pressure is a consistent 90/60 or lower.

I'm sick. It doesn't take much to figure that out. I think it is related to the mono (being a scientist and all!), but no doctor will ever even entertain the thought. I've actually had a doctor admit that she was giving me iron pills as a placebo after I challenged her that they didn't do any good. I've had a billion different blood tests and they all come back normal, so doctors laugh in my face. They say it is all in my head. They tell me to eat better and sleep more.

A little part of me wonders if I am just lazy. Maybe I'm using being sick as a crutch for not, say, running a marathon or being able to motivate myself to work out consistently.  Maybe the problem is in my head. Maybe I want the problem to be in my head so that it is fixable & I don't have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.

One of the reasons why my XBF and I broke up is my health issue. He was very concerned for me, and couldn't figure out why I didn't try to fix it, instead I just whined about it all of the time. I just wasn't ready to face it. Maybe I'm still not. After all, I have a decent life: a job I love, friends, family, and I have recovered enough that I can play tennis with friends and run once in a while (still with the workout hangovers, but I can do it). Why get greedy?

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism by a doctor in the US during my immigration medical in 2008. He gave me pills but warned me that if I started on them, I could never go back--I'd be taking pills for the rest of my life. He said to get tested again when I got to NZ, and then go on the pills once it was confirmed. I went to the doctor, only to be told that my blood tests were low but not low enough to require treatment.

Every year, I say that one of my priorities is to address this health issue. Every year, I go to the doctor, get the blood tests, hoping that this time, it will show up and be treated. I have played with the idea of going to a natural health practitioner before, but the idea always scared me. I'm a Scientist, capital S. I would never want my colleagues to believe something that hasn't been double-blind tested and confirmed and tested again. It just isn't logical, and it would not work in my line of business. When every doctor I respect does not believe in a treatment or tells me I'm fine, I tend to believe them. In my eyes, homeopathy is a crock and New Age-y and only works via placebo. Only non-scientific, airy-fairy hippies believe in the power of healing crystals.  Plus, there is the fact that because there is no proof that it works, the supplements and treatments are not regulated by the FDA and the like. That I could do MORE damage by trying to help myself scares the bejesus outta me.

But it is time to try. I have gotten many of my financial goals out of the way, and identified other life goals and priorities that I really need to focus my attention on. Number One, no question, is my health. I have to figure out what is going on and learn to manage it properly. The rest of my life depends on it. And I'm finally at a place mentally where I can handle it, I think.

Enter in GrabOne. They had a nutritionist deal ($99) and a Thyroflex/Naturopath consultation ($74) up for grabs a few months ago. I bought them both. This past week, I've gone to three doctors' appointments: one at my doctor's, one at the naturopath's, and one at the nutritionists.  They all say kind of the same thing but in different conflicting ways...I'll get to them in my next few posts. I really need some insight here!

Banished from Working

Changes are afoot at work...like usual. My boss came in the other day to tell us that we weren't allowed to work more than 40 hours a week without boss's approval. Only if there is a deadline the next day will we be allowed to work over 40 and use that extra in lieu time another day.

It's so confusing--we will be paid the exact same amount no matter what. Why not let us accrue in lieu time and get more work done when we choose to? My boss also said that there are zero deadlines--therefore no excuses to work more than 40 hours/week--but I NEED DEADLINES. How many times have I told my boss that? Deadlines allow more work to be done, and more efficiently.

When I protested, I got the usual blank from this boss who doesn't understand when people explain things that are upsetting them. So I have two options:

1) I was trying to follow the rules and register my vacation leave like we are supposed to, but now I could just go back to the way everyone else does vacation at my company, and not log it in at all, and take as much time off as I'm owed, when I want to, like usual. (I normally clear it with my bosses WAY before logging it into the system, but maybe I won't now?) My boss doesn't know when I'm in and when I'm not in, and neither does anyone else. No one keeps track of where anyone else is or what anyone does, so this actually might work.

2) Cut my normal 60 hour work weeks back to 40--I looooove my work but there's no way I'm doing it without getting the time off later. What a terrible system! I've been effectively encouraged to NOT work.