Hawaiian Vacation

I'm staying at multiple friends' houses while i'm here in Hawaii til Sunday. My first stop, with my friend J and his girlfriend, has wireless internet, so naturally I'm logging in to post.

(Quick update on the personal finance front: I went grocery shopping today in Honolulu, and if you thought prices were bad in SoCal, well, let me tell you here and now to appreciate them. Everything costs AT LEAST 30% more here. I knew it would be expensive, but I paid $41 for sandwich items. Sandwich Items! Bread--the cheapest, store-brand kind--was $4. I looked at oatmeal for breakfast, but that was $6 for a little box of packets--I couldn't stomach it (ha ha...knee slap). Apples were about a dollar a pop. What the H?)

As I sit here on their folded out futon, I can hear the waves crashing into the stone wall outside of my friends' apartment complex. The Hawaiian breeze, scented with plumeria and aided by the palm-frond shaped blades of a fan, floats in through their screened-in lanai. I just spent a lovely evening with (almost) everyone I know and love here in the 50th state. Most everyone else has moved on to the mainland. They all feel like family, but better, at this point--we've all known each other for at least 8 years.

It's odd, being here again. For the first time visiting since I left the islands, I don't feel at home. At the same time, every stop sign, every beach, has a million associated memories that come flooding back when I see them. I can't fully appreciate the beauty of the views and land here--i'm usually flashing back to that time when...and oh, i remember that...

I had good times--REALLY good times--and i had bad times--REALLY bad times--here. Some of the good times include life-changing friendships, field trips to sample lava and walk on a lava flow, discovery of a sport i love--tae kwon do, and just an overall, overwhelming feeling of belonging to a great community and the certainty--absolute KNOWING--that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in my life at that time. I haven't felt that before or since, and I'm desperate to find it again somewhere else.

Eventually that feeling of being where I was supposed to be faded, and it was time to move on. My boyfriend at the time had given me mono, and I was laid up not once, but twice, with a relapse from the virus that had already stolen 6 months of my life. Said boyfriend eventually broke up with me (once i was healthy again, he wasn't THAT awful!), and I took it really hard. I isolated myself from my friends here, became emotionally shut-down, lost alot of weight (i had already lost alot from the mono, so this wasn't good at all), and poured all of my energy into finishing my master's degree. I only had a semester left to finish, anyway, so that was very. good. timing. My pipe dream had always been to finish and move to SoCal, and get a job in consulting. I did just that.

And that was not horrible, but not great, either. The feeling I'm searching for never returned, and so now I try again. A clean slate, in New Zealand. I hope this works.

It's Go Time

I've been in hyperdrive mode for the past few days. All I can think about is what to pack, what I still need to do, where I need to go to do it. My list is still a couple pages long, so i guess some of it will be done in Hawaii. I was trying to avoid that...but most of it is just calling friends before I leave and catching up, so that's not too hard to do from the beach... :)

Oh! I'm so glad I planned a little vacation before getting down to business in NZ. My 'vacation' in my home town has mostly been seeing people for the 'last time' and errands for NZ moving. Not too much of a vacation at all--'cept for my beach day. But, Hawaii will be a different story--I won't have as much opportunity to get errands done, and my friends will not let that happen, either. I'm excited to surf again...i've missed it.

I ended up getting a Sony Cybershot DSCW55 7.2MP Digital Camera. I was playing around with it in Best Buy, and it is RAD--i instantly knew it was the keeper. My mom gave me permission to spend a little bit over my limit of $150...it was $180 or so. The only downside to it is that it uses its own kind of memory card--a duo? or something like that. The memory card was $25 for 2 GB...I've never filled my 512 MB stick! So I should NEVER need a new memory card. :) the extra memory will be good for my jaunts around NZ, too.

I got my haircut by 'Edna' today. I was picturing a 70-year old woman when they told me that I had an appointment with her. She ended up being a really cool 20-something that was lightning-fast with my haircut and did a very good job. Cost with tip: $35 for a 'fancy' salon. The cost is SO cheap compared to what I was used to in CA!

In any case, I'll be leaving Saturday morning. who knows what my internet access will be like out there, so I may or may not be offline until I get to NZ and can figure out how to get internet.

Wish me luck!!

It's (Almost) My Birthday, and I'm Upgrading My Electronics

My 30th birthday next month (UGGGHHHH), and since I'm going to be away from my family, we're having a small party/get-together at home this week. My mom just gave me her credit card to go buy something while she's at work today. I think I'm going to get a new digital camera...I have a feeling I'll be taking lots of pictures in NZ, and I'm not very satisfied with the one I've had for the last 4 years.

My old camera will go to my mom, who has almost the same camera that I do--but it stopped showing the pictures that it took last year. My mom's old camera will go to my sister, who doesn't have a digital camera and doesn't really take care of her things, anyway. It makes sense that she gets a slightly defected hand-me-down camera--until she proves that she can handle delicate electronics, no money should be spent to get her those kinds of things.

Electronics are funny things, and I have a limit to what I'll spend on new ones. Because, spending more than $150 tends to get you the 'advanced' version of electronics, the ones that will decrease in price in 6 months, anyway. The electronics that are around ~$150 tend to have a more stable price point, but still be semi-advanced enough to satisfy my gadget cravings. So far, I've spent less than $150 on my last digital camera (4.1 MP...wow), and my mp3 player (30 GB, not too bad)--both are still going strong, and my mp3 player will have to last until another Christmas/birthday when I can upgrade to a player that will allow me to watch movies on it. !!

I know I should make these things last as long as they are functional, but I have gadget-lust like no other. I love looking at what else the gadget industry has come up with. For example, that wireless 'time capsule' made by apple...wow. wireless backup of your hard drive, plus wireless printing...VERY cool. I'd have to get a mac, I think, but whatever. I want to own it all.

(My laptop obviously is not included in this electronics price point analysis. I think I ended up spending around $450 for mine last August--I think that will be my price point for my next one. I hope that won't be anytime soon...I actually am VERY satisfied with my current laptop, still. My scroll lock button doesn't light up, but that is very, very minor. Instead of buying the warranty, I ended up buying 2 external hard drives. I think I'll leave one at home, and take one with me to NZ. Just in case!!)

What to do With Your 401(k) After Leaving Your Job--Part II

See Part I for more information


So, here are the steps I took to rollover my 401K to Vanguard:

1) I ordered forms from my current 401(k) company. I think they were supposed to send it to me automatically when HR filled out my exit paperwork, but as my old HR dept. is TERRIBLE, I think something wasn't done correctly. I had to order new forms--no big deal, though--they arrived in 3 days. The packet they sent me lists the various choices that I could make regarding the account--1) keep it where it is, 2) roll it over into a roth/traditional IRA at their institution or another institution, 3) roll it over into an annuity, or 4)cash it out.
There was a 'rollover to another financial institution' form, and I filled it out. It was one page, front and back. They ask for the normal info, in addition to my rollover choice (trad IRA), how much percentage-wise to roll over, and confirmation that the company will accept rollover checks (you check a box here--no physical proof is needed).

2) At this point, they ask for the name of the new financial institution, and their address and your account number with that other institution. For Vanguard, at least, figuring this out and setting up the new account took less than 5 minutes and was extremely painless. I went to the Vanguard website and went through their steps online. All I needed was:

-My account number at my financial institution holding the 401K,
-the routing number and checking account number of my checking account,
-the names and birthdates of my beneficiaries,
-and any requirements of my financial institution needed to release the money (in my case, no requirements, just had to fill out the paperwork described in step 1).

The steps to open a new account at Vanguard are as follows:

2a) Choose your investment purpose--retirement, 529 plan, or brokerage account.
2b) Choose your account type--open a Roth, a traditional, rollover from a 401K plan, or transfer a roth, traditional, or sep-ira to vanguard
2c) Choose to invest in mutual funds, or a money market account to be invested in ETF's, stocks, or bonds (i'm assuming these are individual stocks here...)

3) Choose to rollover into a Traditional or Roth IRA
3a) Enter in your personal information (Soc #, name, US citizen?)

4) Where is the money? (in your possession, or still at the institution?) Approximately how much is there?
4a) What type of account is the money in? (401K)
4b) Here's the hardest part...What do you need Vanguard to do? Here are the options:

--Send my financial institution a written request. The financial institution holding the assets from my employer-sponsored plan requires a written request from Vanguard to initiate the rollover.

--Provide an account number only. I completed (or am in the process of completing) my termination paperwork (paperwork for the financial institution currently holding my assets) and instructed (or will instruct) the financial institution to send my assets to Vanguard. Before the financial institution will send these assets, I need to provide the account number for my new Vanguard IRA®.

--Complete and return my paperwork. My financial institution requires Vanguard to complete its termination paperwork, provide an account number, and return the termination paperwork per the instructions provided.

(My paperwork only asked for an account number, so that's all I needed.)

5) Choose funds! (the fun part) They list out all of their available mutual funds, and their minimum buy-in requirements (most are $3K).
5a) Choose how much to allocate to each fund.
5b) Select reinvesting dividends or investing them in a different mutual fund. Here you can select whether you want to be able to link your bank account to the account or not.
5c) Choose beneficiaries. Or not, you can do this later.


And...You're Done! The next screen gives you your account number. You can then set up a log in name and password. Easy as it can get...

At this point, I entered in my new account number on my rollover form, looked up and entered the address for Vanguard, signed the form, and mailed it.

What to do With Your 401(k) After Leaving Your Job--Part I

*This was supposed to be published while I was away, but it didn't for some reason. I've broken this post down into parts--it was too long to post on the same day!*

*Please note that this is NOT professional advice and you should consult a professional and/or do your own research before making financial decisions.*

As I said in the previous post, I recently started the process of rolling over my 401(K) from the job I quit in May. Before I started, I was anxious about the amount of paperwork it would require, and if I could do it all correctly.

The first thing that I remembered about rollovers from all of my PF blog and finance reading is this:

*Never, EVER cash out your 401(K). This is an absolute last resort--as in, you have cut everything out and you still don't have money for food. No matter how badly you need the money, you'll need it more when you're 90 and unable to work. Also, do NOT have your current financial company send a check payable to YOU. If this happens, the IRS may consider this a cashout of your 401K, and you will owe taxes on the amount in your 401(K), PLUS a 10% penalty if you are under age 59.5. Your company will hold 20% of your cash to pay Uncle Sam.

I guess you could say that this is the 'Golden Rule' of rollovers.

Some other tidbits and choices I knew I would have to make (neglecting rolling over the money to your new employer's plan--your HR people should be able to help you with that process):

1) Choose which company to entrust your hard-earned money. You can:

Keep your money with your current company, if eligible.

-OR-

Transfer your money to a different company, if eligible. Which company should you use? Choose one with a good reputation for easy, hands-off fund management, if that is your cup of tea (T. Rowe Price, Vanguard, Fidelity, TD Ameritrade...these are all very good options written about in various PF blogs). I have had experience with T. Rowe Price and Vanguard--both have been very quick to respond to my queries and needs.

Your HR person should have your current company send you an information packet about your options. If not, request one yourself.

2) Within either company, choose your retirement vehicle.

If you are satisfied with your current holdings, you may be able to keep everything the same in your current 401K and current company. With this carries the risk of losing control over the asset distribution, or buying and selling individual funds within the portfolio--each company will have its own rules.

--OR--

Rollover to a Roth IRA. Taxes are due on the sum that you roll over.

--OR--

Rollover to a Tradional IRA. No taxes are due--this is somewhat like a 401K in it's tax-deferred-ness.

--OR--

Buy an annuity--this may be offered by your current company in their info packet--mine did! More information to come--I don't have the paperwork in front of me.


Some other notes:
*The annual contribution limits for Roth and Traditional IRAs ($5K in 2008--total for both), do not apply to rollovers.

*Annuities are usually a bad idea.

For more information, go here.

Part II to follow tomorrow.

I Have a Traditional IRA!

I'm so excited...I just filled out the paperwork to rollover my 401(K) to a Traditional IRA. I'm moving from a crappy company that has horrible performance and horrible customer service and horrible loaded mutual funds to Vanguard, a company that is well-regarded by the PF blogging community (just ask Trent at the Simple Dollar!).

I had enough in my 401K to opt into two mutual funds, the 500 Index and the Total international stock market index. (sorry, those are the names off the top of my head--it's late!). I didn't really do much research...mostly because I didn't HAVE to--the stats on these two funds are widely published in many PF blogs as favorable. At long last, obsessing over money has saved me time and angst--my eyes automatically picked these two funds out when I reviewed the list of options.

The whole process, so far, has been easy and pleasant. Well, except that my 401K company was supposed to send my forms out, and I had to bug them to send them again--which they did in 3 days. It's funny, because one of the things I most dreaded when I thought about quitting was dealing with the whole 401K mess. It's odd the things you think about, or use as excuses, to not deal with something unpleasant in your life--to keep the status quo.

If you are curious about the process, I list details in my next post. I was apprehensive about doing this correctly--the job I quit was my first ever, so I'm a total newbie to this whole world.

Temporary Hiatus

My mom, sis, and I are headed up to PA tomorrow to visit my mom's side of the family. Grandma and Grandpa passed away recently, so we won't be going up again for a very long time, if ever. This is our last chance to say good-bye.

We're staying with my great-aunt, and she doesn't have internet access. I honestly don't know how she lives...i'm totally addicted. I have a couple of posts that will publish in my absence, but I should be back online and commenting again by Tuesday.

Have a good weekend!

Errands

Errands, errands, it seems as if all I do lately are errands. Today, I got up and tried to wake my dad up--he was supposed to take my sister's car to the tire place. It turns out that the tires were all dry-rotted--they looked brand new, deep tread and all, but the little old lady that owned the car before us didn't drive it anywhere, really, so the tires are actually very old. And, so, yesterday, one of the tires' treads just flew off--the tire wasn't actually flat, but it had NO tread on it anymore. Very odd. We then needed FOUR tires instead of just one.

My dad couldn't (or wouldn't) wake up before 7 pm today, and I had to take the car in. ($210 for tires) Afterward, the car drove like a dream, and I started in on my errands. I got another passport photo taken for my visa ($10), stocked up on 6 months worth of my favorite shampoo and conditioner and other favorite toiletries (I don't know what they have there in NZ, and I have the luggage space...) ($72).

For some reason, when I think about what I need to bring with me, "laundry bag" persistently pops up. I keep having flashbacks from my 4-flights of steps laundry runs in college. I HATE carrying my laundry down to a communal room, and I needed something with a comfortable strap. After I left college, I SWORE to myself that I'd never live in a place without a washer/dryer. And I haven't...

Time to renege, I guess, as the boyfriend accepted some University-partnered lodging that has $3/load washer and dryers in a communal room downstairs. UGH. Until November 11, I will be living there...I will HAVE to do laundry (well, unless I get 4 months worth of underwear. :) After November, though, I think we're set on moving and finding a place that's convenient for my work and his schooling. (crossing the fingers about the working thing!) In case you want details, the very tiny apartment is $300/week for a one bedroom. Their fridge is a mini-fridge! How do the Kiwis live with such small fridges?? the only plus to this is that the boyfriend doesn't have to deal with looking for apartments, and it's convenient to school for him.

Oh well, I can deal with anything for 4 months.

In other news today: my sister accepted a job at a shoe store. They will absolutely work with her illness, and she really likes the boss--the boss happens to be related to one of my sister's best friends from high school. My sister also is getting money-smarter--she declined eating out today 'cause she only brought $1.00 cash with her out. This prevents her from spending unnecessarily. I do worry about her safety, only carrying $1 around, but I guess that's what cell phones are for!

I actually did eat out today--I bought a subway sandwich 'cause I had to run out the door without eating this morning to get the car in on time for the appointment. I spent $5.45 at subway.

I don't think I spent anything else...but that's more than enough.

Went to the Beach Today

I went to VA Beach today, and spent $50 on gas and a pair of sunglasses...because I stupidly left mine at home. I HATE unnecessary expenses, but I'm falling into the 'it doesn't matter' trap--I am spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to move, and sorry, but keeping myself from spending $11 on sunglasses just doesn't work right now. I know it's little by little, this wealth accumulation thing, but this is what I've been saving up for in the lean times--the opportunity to 'not care.'

Parking: $2.05 for ~4 hours

When I have a job again, I'll get back on the budget bandwagon. I'm not going crazy here, but a significant outlay of cash is necessary to have an advantage in NZ (for example, i've heard that jeans cost upwards of $100! All of my jeans currently have cost less than $25.). It's spending now so I don't have to spend more later. (Right?)

Anyway, the beach was fantastic. I am ashamed to say that I didn't submerge myself in the Cali ocean at all--for almost 4 years, I stayed away from the cold, sea-weedy water. It was beautiful to look at, but just not my cup of tea past my knees. Also, there always seemed to be a sewage warning nearby...ugh. Today, the warm Atlantic waters were the perfect temperature--cool compared to the hot, humid air, but perfect once you got in. I happily exhausted myself playing duck the waves on an off-shore sandbar, and my sister had a blast playing in the shallows--she's a scaredy-cat. We then sat on our towels to dry off, and laughed while eavesdropping on the female lifeguard enlightening the male lifeguard as to the various definitions of words (for example: 'slut'--apparently there are two wildly differing meanings. who knew?). Glad their doing their jobs. :/

On the way home, the tread blew off of the driver's side front tire of my sister's car. It was pretty scary--I was driving, and I actually thought the axle had broken. crazy stuff. Some nice guy, Shawn, pulled off the side of the road lickety split and changed the tire before I even had a chance to finish a phone call from my dad! God bless you, Shawn! [Mental Note: Do something nice for someone soon. I absolutely believe in karma payment plans.] Anyway, we ended up having to fill the spare with air (0.75), and buy a new tire ($54). As I've mentioned, my sister doesn't have any money (understatement of the year), so I paid and said to write me a check and tell me when I can cash it. I don't expect the money back--it will end up being her Christmas or birthday present, I'm sure.

My sister is in the throes of debt anxiety--the whole way home she was lamenting her 'bad luck' and complaining about paying for the tire. Um, too bad, lady--that's what happens in REAL life. She's getting a good dose of it lately. I'm actually annoyed, because a blown tire is about the least expensive thing that can happen in a vehicle breakdown--I've had to replace CV boots, alternaters, A/C parts...and those are WAY more expensive...she's getting off light. I think it's a good thing that she's realizing that because she didn't have an EF, she would have been out of a driveable car if I hadn't paid for it. However, too much of this anxiety could lead to a mental breakdown, so I'm going to go easy on her for the rest of my trip. She's JUST getting healthy again. Baby steps!

When we finally got home, I had a survey check ($3) and a renter's insurance premium refund check waiting for me ($45).

Get on the Ball, Verizon!

yeah, I spoke too soon. I spoke to no fewer than 4 verizon reps to get my account switched over to my dad's family plan. And it's STILL not done.

I'm actually not annoyed--the end result is that what I wanted to do CAN be done, but it will take some time. And, let's face it--I have time. It's no biggie.

But, really, Verizon should get on the ball with making a standard rulebook for all reps to reference.

So--I talked to Rebecca (Rep #1) last weekend about switching my phone over. We didn't do it then, 'cause I would have used up all my parent's minutes to talk to and text my boyfriend this week. With the boyfriend in NZ right now, his phone doesn't work. So I went into the verizon store again today. The lady (Rep #2) said, SURE, we can switch your number over! She typed in some stuff into her computer for about five minutes, before calling someone over. The someone said that they COULDN'T let me keep my number 'cause I had a Cali number, and my dad's plan is in VA. So, did I want to switch over to a VA number and THEN add on? Um...NO. that's B.S., anyway -- My PA grandpa's line was switched over to my Cali aunt's last year, and my boyfriend's Cali line was switched onto his Minnesota dad's plan last week! UN-acceptable.

I immediately called customer service for verizon, and 5 minutes after the in-store rep said it was impossible, the customer service guy (Rep #3) said that my number can absolutely be switched over. WTF?

Ooooh, but there's a catch. the guy couldn't switch it over til he got my dad (who is the primary account holder) to authorize the switch. he was at home, sleeping because that's what he does because he's ill...

My mom is supposed to be an authorized account holder to speak for my dad, but they wouldn't accept her approval--it HAD to be my dad. When we got home, my dad called them to authorize it (Rep #4), and the 'name change' department was closed for the day, so we have to call again tomorrow. Oy!

I Did Nothing Today and It Felt Good

So, the boyfriend is off to NZ tonight. We talked until his phone was threatening to die and the plane needed to take off. (The relationship seems to be back on track now that most of the stressful stuff is over.) From LAX, it takes roughly 13 hours to get to NZ.

And...I guess I really didn't do 'nothing' today--I finally bought my plane tix. I'm stopping in hawaii to see some good friends for about a week, and then making my way down to NZ.

I leave for Hawaii in about two weeks, the 28th (14-hour plane ride!). I have ALOT to do before then!! I'm going to be applying once I'm in the country, so I had to buy a return ticket to the States in three months. That made the cost over $3,000!!

It looks like I'll be dipping into that EF. Oh well, I guess that's what it is for. And my mom is happy to let me hang onto the money she loaned me for a little while. Good thing--I'll need it.

In Hawaii, I'll be seeing my three of my best friends in the world, getting in some good surfing in 80 degree, gorgeous clear blue water (aaaahhhh...take that, cold, polluted, crazy shark-infested Cali waters!!), and relaxing on the beach looking at Diamond Head. As well as 'adjusting to the jetlag' and 'breaking the 24-hour trip to NZ from the EC in half,' which I told everyone it was for. ;) I love my life sometimes.

Also in Hawaii, I'll need to do some business--I have a contact there that is from New Zealand. So, I think he's an excellent contact for a NZ job. He knows everybody down there, and is happy to help. So, I'm meeting him to discuss my preferences so he knows who to contact. Sometimes, I REALLY love my life!

I get into NZ July 7th (9 hr, 15 min plane ride from Honolulu!). Tasha, expect lots of comments from me re: setting up a life down there. :)

I'm SO much happier since I bought a plane ticket out of here, can you tell? I love love love my family, but I can only appreciate them from afar.

To Do List For June

(please ignore)

--print out resume
--get nice resume paper
--polish resume
--need: plug adapters (5)
--need chapstick!, lotion
--sneakers
--clothes (pants, winter clothes, t-shirts, work interview suit, underclothes)
--haircut
--change address with IRS
--401K rollover--principal (reordered forms 6/16/08)
--transfer money with XE-trade
--call state farm re: experience letter and rental ins. premium return? (called 6/16/08--exp. ltr. not arrived, but rental ins. premium has; ltr has been sent out 6/17/08)
--call verizon and have dad authorize the transfer (before i leave--don't want to use up their minutes)
--open bank account in NZ--fax forms (wed.)
--get SIM card (order from Vodafone)
--get certified copy of passport (kinko's-wed)
--sell back CD's/DVD's/VHS (wed.)


STILL WAITING FOR:
--get security deposit back (~$1450)
--order more BC pills before moving
--Textbook check ($230)

VISA:
--get FBI certification (resent 6/6/08; credit card charged 6/13/08)
--organize boyfriend evidence
--download time/date stamp for photos
--organize packet

--ONGOING--
-HEALTH- (mental and physical)
--Try to walk a mile every day in this God-awful heat
--eat better
--floss

-ORGANIZATIONAL-

-FOR NZ MOVE-

URGENT TASKS:
--receive FBI background check by 6/15/08

ORGANIZE:

FINANCIAL TASKS:
--pay insurance claims (all $600 worth!!) (one paid 6/17/08; 3 more to call)
--pay outstanding bills from move (refund from cox?--call; sewer/water)
--figure out what to do about bank account once in NZ. keep?
--figure out when to cash it out, if ever--with no fees, no need to do so, AND can maintain flexibility when visiting the US
--make list of addresses to change/accounts to stop pulling from bank account

HEALTH INSURANCE:
--get vision insurance? checkup before leaving the country--new contacts? glasses? prescription sunglasses?

PAPERWORK:

--make scrapbook for immigration--proof of relationship: photos, letters, phone call documentation, texts? get plastic sleeves and use 3-ring binder; gather B and me photos (with dates) and print them out

MISC--after applying for a visa:
--Verizon will allow me to transfer my account to my mom's family plan--and I get to keep my number AND my cost goes down to $10/mo. (from (~$45!). AND this doesn't break my contract, for which I have another year left. SCORE!
--compare costs to buy SIM card and GSM phone vs. a rate-calling plan in NZ for cell phone calls
--install Skype DONE
--get microphone and hearing device for Skype DONE
--compile ideas for international calling
--WHAT SHOULD I BRING??
--contact everyone I know in NZ or has lived in NZ (murray, chris, bruce)--5/21/08 contacted Chris

--5-6 boxes DONE!
--Car Insurance refund DONE
--get packet of medical certification DONE

NON-URGENT:
--talk to mom about paying her back--schedule? use free money revolution account?

WORK:
Nothing. Hallelujah!!
--return luggage DONE
--get NZ address from BF DONE
--buy cell phone (ebay--DONE)
--laundry bag, toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, deod, lotion, toothpaste)DONE

Sister Saga--Progress

Thanks for the comments! I let my sister read them and she was surprised everyone was so nice. Here's what she did today:

My sister got paid today--her allowance is $100 every two weeks. $80 was put towards her bank overdraft, leaving $83 to pay back to her bank.

She got a job, and one that will work with her on her disability--meaning that if she gets sick, she'll still have a job afterward when she's better. (Yay!) It pays $6/hr, and she fills out the paperwork next Tuesday. She can work up to 25 hours a week.

We went to Kmart and Fashion Bug to return the only things that still have tags on them--two dresses and a couple of picture frames. She threw away her receipts and took the tags off of most of the stuff before she could change her mind, so they only could give her store credit. However, she needed a blue polo shirt to wear to work, so she exchanged some of the things for that. AND she has money to 'blow' when she feels poor again.

She also visited her case manager to take care of some outstanding issues.

All good things. I hope these things would have gotten done even if I weren't here.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Here's How You Spend $2500 In Two Weeks

The saga continues--the debt was actually MORE than my sister thought last night. See this post for the story behind the debt, and this post to read my sister's story, and the story behind this post.

Amongst other credit card debt, this accounts for ~$1300 of the $2500 debt my sister now carries. To her credit, she is open with sharing the contents of her bill on this blog, and wants to hear the comments/reactions to this. Most of it is brand new debt:

05/22/08 05/23/08 PAT CROC, EARRING, GPPANT $121.73 (the only 'old' debt--earlier than 2 weeks ago)

06/02/08 06/02/08 SAL'S ITALIAN RESTAURA $11.32

06/03/08 06/03/08 UNO'S CHICAGO GRILL $28.81

06/03/08 06/03/08 WAL-MART $16.34

06/04/08 06/04/08 WAWA $40.19

06/04/08 06/04/08 FASHION BUG $101.55

06/04/08 06/04/08 HAIR CUTTERY $163.35

06/04/08 06/04/08 WM SUPERCENTER $64.28

06/04/08 06/04/08 ASHLEY STEWART $41.99

06/08/08 06/08/08 TACO BELL $6.04

06/08/08 06/08/08 DENNY'S $18.98

06/08/08 06/08/08 DENNY'S $8.34

06/09/08 06/09/08 WAWA $47.02

06/09/08 06/09/08 USPS $8.40

06/09/08 06/09/08 BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO $13.62

06/09/08 06/09/08 BURGER KING $4.24
16 transactions. $696.20

CASH ADVANCE/CONVENIENCE CHECKS

06/03/08 06/03/08 CASH SUNTRUST BK $500.00

06/03/08 06/03/08 CASH ACCESS FEE $15.00

06/09/08 06/09/08 COLLEGE FEES $81.00

06/09/08 06/09/08 CASH ACCESS FEE $5.00

4 transactions. $601.00

TOTAL: $1297.20

The purchases are at 21.99% interest. The cash advances are to pay off a payday loan she used to buy groceries. At least she was smart enough to pay that sucker off.

Some of it, I can see--$81 is for fees for an upcoming college semester. $16 at Walmart is for some prescriptions. But the rest of it? Pure nonsense.

that's just craziness. And, again, the only explanation is that she was tired of being poor. I understand what it feels like to be poor--really, I do! I was in debt at one time, too--from grad school and the underearning years that occurred then. And I felt poor when I was paying off my debt, and when I was saving up to take classes and go part-time, and ...you get the idea. I guess my problem is that I just can't relate to throw caution to the wind and spend without any guilt or thoughts about the consequences of my actions. My mind won't wrap around it--there were times when I really, really wanted to go wild, but I only let myself daydream about a shopping spree, or I'd walk around the store collecting things that I wanted, and then aborted before getting to the register.

I guess my point is, I fully understand the urge, but not the followed-through action upon that urge.

I need to get over my reaction to this and try to focus on helping her. So far, I've helped her figure out how to pay back our mom. That's also what really bugs--the effect on my parents, who have bailed her out time and again. So, i've firmly instructed her to keep my parents OUT of this--they don't need the stress. Although, my dad did provide the cash to pay back my mom, inadvertently. My dad needed us to pick up some groceries and gave my sis a check for $40. My sis cashed it at his bank and used her food stamps for the groceries--she's stocked up at home (so she says), and will live off of that at the end of the month when her food stamps run out. She had $10 cash to her name and added that to the $40 to pay back my mom.

So at least my parents are now out of this mess. She still needs to get her own car insurance, and then she will mostly be financially independent from my parents (they still pay $10 for the extra line on their cell phone bill). Complete financial independence from our parents is her goal, and a worthy one--but I don't know if she actually has the fortitude to go it alone right now. The state handles her bills--so she will get off scot-free for this one too--the money from SS and her disability will cover the payments, and they'll work out a payment plan for her. So I don't know that she'll EVER learn how to handle herself with money, if this continues.

I'm trying to give her tools to deal with this if the 'wants' come up again, and trying to figure out a way to help her track her spending so the overdraft stuff doesn't happen again. But I feel like the light bulb hasn't clicked yet. Whatever happens, I want my parents OUT of it--they've dealt with enough, and they won't be around later on to help her (yeah, that'll be ME), so I want her to start, at least, with baby steps to get a handle on the finances.

Right now, $26,000 and $36,000 are owed on her behalf to a mental hospital, but the state is supposed to be taking care of that with her medicare/medicaid (can never remember which one she has). That's insane...at least my tax dollars are going to pay for her care and hospitalization. That's all I have to say about that.

...And that's why I need to get out of here. :)

$2000 Worth of Debt in Two Weeks

I had a VERY sobering conversation with my sister this evening. We were at Target, doing laps (it's WAY too hot and humid here to walk outside, and I'm trying to encourage my sister to get exercise any way that I can--laps around Walmart and Target, it is!), and she mentioned the two cc's she has.

One is a Sears card, and apparently she racked up over $700 worth of clothes and other stuff on it. Last week. The week before that, she got ANOTHER cc, and spent over $1,000 on food in the past two weeks. I don't even know how you DO that!

Besides that, she's $200 overdrafted her checking account. AND she owes my mom money for going over on her cell phone bill--which my mom pays for.

I'm at my WIT'S end. As her sister, I want to help her in any way possible. As a frugal person, I'm disgusted and flabbergasted at the effort it takes to spend yourself $2,000 in the hole in two weeks, with no stopping to think about what you are doing. TWO. WEEKS. $2000. WTF. On a normal month with rent, I don't spend that in a month!

I weaved back and forth from one role to the other (sister to frugal person giving advice to sister and back) while talking to her. One second, I was wondering if I should give her money (sister), the next, I was telling her to put down the random knickknack she had picked up, and stop pouting, cause she's the one responsible for not being able to afford a $4 knickknack. Now, don't worry, I won't bail her out this time--this is a HUGE mess and I'm leaving it up to the state and her therapist to figure this one out.

And it wasn't even an emergency--she told me she didn't even remember what she spent it on. Clothes, yes, maybe some picture frames, and food. That's all I got out of her. I asked if any of it could be taken back, and she just said she didn't have the receipts, so she couldn't take it back, and anyway, most of the spending was on FOOD.

So, we had a hard heart-to-heart, in which I tried to understand what made her feel like she needed to spend all that money. She just said that she was sad that she was poor and didn't have any money, so she went out and spent (where is the logic in this statement??). She said that when she has a credit card, she has no power and can't stop herself.

I can't for the life of me understand this. She gets government assistance on her rent, she gets $169/mo in food stamps for food, and a $50/week allowance. The state handles the rest of her affairs--she has medicare/medicaid for health insurance, and they take care of the rest of the stuff (therapy, for example). It isn't alot of money, but it IS feasible to make it on that amount of money--I've gone over a budget with her. There aren't alot of extras in it, but it's doable. She's broke until later this week, when the state gives her her 'allowance' of her disability money.

The girl actually had the gall to say that she's 'proud' of having food stamps. sigh. I asked her if she was ashamed to have to pull out her food stamp card at the grocery store ('cause I was curious about the experience, and 'cause it seemed like she was kind of trying to hide it), and she said she was happy she was getting something for free--something no one else got. I can't understand!!

I'm heart-broken. I thought she was finally getting better, finally having some sort of control over her life and her schizophrenia. Lack of impulse control and spending alot is a sign that she's going into a manic phase. I hope she's not getting sick...

...with my mom having to pick up the pieces again from my sister's deeds. How do you stop helping someone you love that is doing self-destructive things due to no fault of their own? At what point do you give up? It hurts to see and it hurts to give up. I don't know what to do here. We've gone over spending and I've made suggestions til I was blue in the face. Short of taking away all of her money, I can't stop her from herself. And that is the worst thing about all of this.

Jobless, But Still Helpful

I've been home less than a week now. In the early days, I was catching up on sleep, unpacking my many, many boxes that I shipped out here, figuring out how to get on the internet, and various other odd jobs. Now, I've started to settle into a routine. One would think that I would be wandering around aimlessly without a job or car, and nothing to do all day except watch the seconds tick by. One would think that I'd be glued to my computer and the TV all day, gorging on snack foods.

I wish.

Instead, I've found many areas of my family's life where they need help, my sister in particular. I've made myself busy with projects around the house that my Mom has been meaning to do, but just can't fit into her busy schedule. She's usually the only one holding things together. On top of working a full-time job that is over an hour away, she's the only one paying bills, watching the spending, trying to keep the dogs out of trouble, grocery shopping, making dinner, or making sure my Dad doesn't smoke, eat crap, or do something that is harmful to his health. She's also taking care of my sister. That is simply too much for one person to deal with.

I feel guilty that she does all this, year in and year out, while I hang out in exotic, fun places. And, soon, New Zealand.

So, to try to make up for all of that, I've been focusing my efforts on mini-projects around the house. Tonight, I cleared off a bookshelf and organized the books, and put a million in organized boxes for a yard sale my parents want to have soon. Last Friday, I went on a job-finding spree with my sister. Saturday I treated my moms to a shopping spree and a nice dinner out. Sunday and Monday, I went through all of my boxes in the garage and pared 8 'must keep!' boxes down to 4. I also went to church and saw my church family on Sunday--it's the first time me, my mom, sis, AND dad have been to church together. The pastor even gave me a shout-out during the sermon. ;) funny... Yesterday, I shopped and found a few things my parents are lacking, or replacements of things that are shoddy and broken--like the ironing board cover, the hamper, and the pencil holder on the fridge. They are little things, but I'm hoping that every little bit helps.

Boy, do they need a yard sale soon! Where has all this crap in their house come from?? I have the uncontrollable urge to throw it all away.

Actually, that's what I've been doing. Surreptitiously, I've been taking things off the wall that I find atrociously tacky and sneaking it back to a box in my room. If they don't notice that the things are gone, when I leave, I'll show them the box and ask if they noticed it was gone, and if they REALLY need it. Hopefully it will end up in the yard sale.

I'm a control freak, and I know it.

Layout Change

Let me know if something bugs you...I'm still playing with it. I liked having the text on the right side of the page in my old layout, so I may move things around still. The text is bigger and stretched out across the page more--I think I like that, too.

The pic (which totally doesn't go with my new blog colors, sorry) is from the hot air balloon ride that my mom, sis, and I went on last January. That's looking straight up from the basket into the balloon while being about 75 feet in the air. It was fantastic. I hope my net worth rises like that balloon did.

L@spilling buckets--I've added your site to my blogroll (and thanks for the tip on the Macro setting on my camera. I should read the manual for things...).

I Found My Engagement Ring!

No, I'm not getting married--at least, not anytime soon--but I do have the perfect engagement ring in my possession. And I didn't pay one dime for it.

My grandfather died last February (2007), and we (the family) had to go to PA to sort through all of his and my grandmother's things. My grandma died in 2005, but my grandpa didn't really get rid of much of her stuff after that, understandably.

I happened to arrive later than most to the emotional sifting party before the funeral, and all of the other kids and grandkids had had a chance to choose one item that meant something to them to take home as a momento. My family on my mom's side is really nice and not petty--we all took pretty much whatever we wanted or needed--so this worked out well for us. There was no worrying about the 'estate' or if someone chose something slightly more valuable (my dad's side is a WHOLE other story). I didn't really care to get their 'stuff' that much, but most of the sentimental items had already been thrown away--the beloved rooster on the kitchen wall, the golfing frog suncatcher that my Grandpa would make stories up about during dinner, etc.), so I was a little bummed about that.

Anyway, my mom felt bad about this, and offered me an heirloom in advance. Apparently, this half carat diamond ring set in platinum (with some filigree detailing) has been passed down in my family to the eldest female for the past 70 or so years. My great great aunt Nellie bought it--probably early to mid-last century?--and passed it to her sister, my great-great Aunt Etta, when she died. Auntie Etta apparently was a spinster, and passed it to my grandmother--the eldest female in the family--in the early 70's or 80's. It was appraised at that point for $500. My mom is the eldest daughter in her family, as am I. The ring was passed on to my mom at my grandfather's death (technically all of my grandmother's stuff went to him before any of us, but I don't really count that). She offered the ring to me to give me something of my grandparents to take home. The ring doesn't fit any of my mom's fingers, anyway. I initially declined to take the ring home with me, because I was about to move out of my townhouse, but I remembered placing it in my mom's labeled box of stuff to take home from PA. It's crazy, but I've been thinking about that ring ever since last February! The box of stuff didn't make it to our house from the storage unit until last summer, and even then it was stored under a bunch of furniture and other knicknacks we took. I tried to look for it this past Christmas, but ended up not having enough time to find it.

I finally found the ring pouch a day or so ago. It was one of the first things I did, actually. Every day, a couple of times a day, I try it on and admire it. I can't say how much it means to me. I love that I would be adding on to the already rich family history by using it as an engagement ring. I love that it was loved by my grandmother, that it was lovingly given to me by my mother, and that maybe someday it will go to my daughter or granddaughter, and they will love it.

In addition to all that loveliness, the ring is almost exactly what I would have picked out, given the choice. It is a decent sized diamond, a good size for my hands, but not ostentatious; it is set in platinum (awesome), and it has beautiful filigree details on the sides and top/bottom of the setting. Not to mention that it fits perfectly. (I tried to take pictures of it but my camera apparently doesn't focus close enough to capture details. And the flash bounced back from the ring and caused a huge glare anyway.)

As a bonus, I don't have to worry about buying a 'blood' diamond, or buying a synthetically made diamond. Nothing against laboratory-grown gems--they are a GREAT alternative to natural diamonds, mostly for their associated reduced social, economic, and environmental impact--but as a geologist, I would prefer that the gem grew deep in the Earth from a long process that required time and luck, I think. It's just somehow more romantic and beautiful to me.

As a second bonus package, I don't have to pick out a ring, my guy doesn't have to figure out what I want, no (more) land needs to be destroyed to mine the materials, AND, most importantly for this blog--doesn't have to spend a nickel on me for something I think is a silly tradition anyway.

p.s. Just an aside--this does NOT mean that I at all condone the crazy hoopla surrounding marriages and engagements (I once was invited to THREE wedding showers and a bachelorette party for the same bride--WTF?)--and don't get me started on my tirade surrounding the diamond industry (diamonds are NOT rare!)--but I have to admit a very girly part of me loves that I now have an engagement ring in my sights. Sigh. I'm now ONE OF THEM.

Verizon Doesn't Suck

I went to a Verizon wireless store today to figure out what to do about my cell phone while I'm away for years. I want to keep my number, and I want to have my phone while I'm home for Christmas or in the US for vacations, but I don't want to break my contract, for which I still have a year left. It would be at least $115 to break my contract now.

It turns out that I have a few options, which I will share for those of you taking a long trip, or moving to another country for a few years, but wanting to keep your US Verizon cell phone and phone number:

1) Suspend service. Dunno what the deal is here for real--I've heard three differing options. One, you can only suspend service for 90 days, and you can only suspend service TWICE in one year. Two, you can suspend service for 90 days, but you can suspend indefinitely--just keep suspending service every 90 days (4 times a year). And three, I can suspend service until March 29, 2009. ??? WTF, dunno what the variations are from. In options one and three, the Verizon salesperson looked the info up. In two, I chatted online with a sales rep. There is a fee for suspending--I think it's $14.95 each time. This extends your contract by that amount of time. It's good for short trips overseas (90 days or less). Pros: If you are going out of the country for a short period of time (30 - 90 days), you can save money on monthly fees. Cons: The details are very confusing, and no one seems to agree on the real deal here.

2) Go Pay As You Go. In this one, you don't get to keep your number, and you have to be out of your contract. You can deposit money in the account, but the money expires in 30 days. Right now Verizon has a deal where you can deposit $100 or more and the money stays in your account for a year. Pros: You don't waste money on monthly fees. Cons: You lose your number.

3) This is the golden ticket for me. If someone you know has a family plan, you may add your line to the plan for $9.99 extra. You have to fill out a transfer of liability form to transfer the line to their name--not sure if there are any fees with this one. I still have a year in my $45/mo contract, so I wasn't sure how they'd handle that. Apparently, it still counts even though my monthly fee will drop to $9.99/mo on the family plan. I get to keep my own number, and while I'm home, I can add a texting feature for me for another $10, so I don't go over--I text alot. So, I think I just saved myself the early termination fee, and about $35/mo for the next year.

Roth

One of my Roth IRA funds has over $1K in it! Finally!!

I still need to receive:
1) money from selling my textbooks
2) a check from my car insurance/renter's insurance
3) check from landlord--security deposit
4) a mailing about rolling over my 401K (post soon--I plan to move everything over to Vanguard)

That should tide me over for a while.

I Still Don't Know

...if I'm going to end up in NZ or not. The boyfriend and I had another random conversation last night about Why I Annoy Him Lately. I wandered around today trying to forget that I may have just made the biggest mistake I've ever made, by trusting him and quitting my job and life somewhere else before securing a new life, job, etc.

I don't even know whether to buy plane tix yet! My visa can't be sent until I have his residential address in NZ, and he doesn't go there til the 13th. So--I can't send my app til the 16th at the earliest, and I won't hear from the NZ immigration people until a couple of weeks after that.

Oy.

Sorry to be complainy, but I really am worried that I'll end up stuck with my family here. I don't have the wherewithall or strength to start over somewhere new again ALONE--and staying here is dooming myself to a freaking Prozac prescription. My family would LOVE it if I stayed...but their way of life drives me to Crazytown. The options seem to be NZ, with a cranky boyfriend who probably doesn't want to be with me anyway, or home with my family in the US, stuck with no plan at all. These aren't options, these are choose-your-own-torture book plots! If only I could bookmark them both and flip to the ending of each...

But, in keeping with some good with every bad, I used some money i had earmarked for Mother's Day on my mom today. We went to JC Penney's, which I had a $10 coupon for if I used my Chase card, and let my mom go crazy. They were having a 60% off sale, so we really got some great deals. She loved this one outfit, and I spent a good $130 on her, while saving $25 with coupons, and over a hundred dollars easy with sales. Plus, I get 1% cashback. My mom loves couponing and sales as much as I do (it's just not fun to shop for things anymore unless I feel I got a deal), so I had a ball with her and my sister today.

Afterwards, I took my mom and sis out to dinner at the local Olive Garden. It's a Big Deal, as the restaurant just moved in next to the mall. The wait time was 45 minutes...at 4:45! It was PACKED. We had a lovely meal and it was less than $50 for the three of us.

I had a good time--I generally never want to spend money, but the only time I actually enjoy spending money is when it's for my family. If I lived here, this would be the norm--I'd end up spending all my money on trying to make my family's life better, and failing because money can't fix any of their problems.

This past week I bought my boyfriend his birthday gift--awesome lenses for his Oakleys and some pants--while we were at the Mall of America. Coupled with today's episode, it seems like I'm spending with wreckless abandon. I need to pull it in, but until I know what is happening with my life, my emotions are running the show.

p.s. i'm psyched that i found frozen edamame in a grocery store down here. Quaneesha at the other store had NO IDEA what the H I was talkin about last night.

p.p.s. seriously not making up the cashier's name. Quaneesha was awesome, except she had no clue what eddie-what-ey? is.

What is the Deal?

Well, I'm sitting in the Hartsfield-Atlanta airport, waiting for my second leg of my journey home to begin. A couple of anecdotes from this week:

a) In a fit of stupidness, I accepted a check from the lady that 'bought' my computer--she was preggers, on her way to work, and forgot her wallet. Riiiiiight. I wonder how many of those things she really was? I just wanted to get rid of the thing, so I said, whatever, sure. Anyway, that's $50 that got debited from my account. Why on Earth would someone write a check they know will bounce?? For a crappy used computer? Off of craigslist? Really? If she had just told me that she didn't have the money right then, and had two kids that really needed to use a computer at home (??), I totally would have just given it to her, or told her to write me a check whenever. That's just totally wierd, to rip someone off so blatantly. I do have her number and address--i always keep the deposit stubs til the money goes through--so I could totally call her and demand the money, but... you know? if she's THAT hard up that $50 bounces...sheesh. She's got bigger problems than me calling her. And I'm certainly not going to be the first priority on the list when she does get money, you know? So I'm probably going to just call her and say it's hers...if she does ever get the money, she can send it to my parent's address, but if not, she can keep the computer for free. I'd hope that when she gets money, she sends it my way--that is what I would do--but i realize everyone is not so bound to their consciences.

2) Ok, the boyfriend was wierding me out this week. He may or may not read this, but I need a place to vent, and this is it for the moment. I think he's really stressed out about seeing all of his friends and getting things done before moving to NZ, but he wasn't acting super happy to have me around at the beginning of my trip to see him. It culminated with a 'talk' while I was in the shower, no less, about how he didn't think we're on the same page. Ahem. Excuse me? I quit my job, am homeless, and am in the process of getting a visa to come join you in a foreign country, and you're bringing up negative relationship issues? Maybe both of our emotions were set on HIGH this week, but I really, REALLY freaked out. And...this whole NZ fiasco makes me realize that I absolutely would spend my life with him if the option were available. Unfortunately, I don't think it is. Does that make me stupid to go to NZ with him? Maybe. But I think it's also a great opportunity for me.

c) I'd stick close to home if NZ didn't work out. I know I said before that Plan B, hanging out closer to home, was a viable option...but, confronted with the actual possibility, it's just not. As much as I love my family, um...I just can't. It makes me claustrophobic and want to scream, yell, and kick my way out. By the end of the week, the boyfriend said he was happy that we were together, so I guess that's that for now. I have everything I need from him to get my visa, but that whole episode makes me wonder if he even wants me there with him anymore. It's too late to back out--the time for that was before I quit my job and gave notice on our apartment and life in San Diego! As you can probably tell, I'm not sure what to make of all of this, honestly.

Oops, I have a flight to catch. Must run! I'd appreciate any comments. :)

Things Are Going Well

I'm in Minnesota for a few more days. It's been fun seeing my boyfriend's family and friends again--this time for a social visit, not for a wedding/funeral. I've eaten dinner out on someone else's tab every night--boy am I spoiled!

Anyway, I'll be back to my regular blogging schedule by Saturday or so. Hope everything's going well!

For your amusement until I return, check out http://failblog.org/.

It's hilarious. Credit goes to http://prettyinthecity.blogspot.com/ for the link.