FINALLY got to chat to my sister. It turns out that she didn't know I was home/didn't have my cell phone number (doesn't want to call the house phone because she doesn't want to talk to my parents).
She is not doing well. As soon as I talked to her on the phone, I drove up to see her and we spent 30 min together at a cafe. She wasn't outright rude, but would have waves of normalness (for her) and then seem to look right through me/not hear me and answer questions I didn't ask or say something completely unrelated. The latter were pretty scary--it was like talking to someone that was asleep with their eyes wide awake, and sleeptalking.
Two days ago I got a voice message from a doctor in an emergency room. My sister had put me down as her emergency contact. When I called back the next day (my phone doesn't get any cell service at my parents' house, so I had no way of knowing I had any messages until I venture into town), she had already been discharged, and the nurses that treated her didn't want to tell me any information as she hadn't signed some release form. I AM HER EMERGENCY CONTACT. How on earth can they leave me a voice mail saying she had an emergency and wanted to talk to me and then not give me details?????
They also said that she didn't want to be in her group home anymore, and was going to go sleep in a shelter, but couldn't give me any more details than that. That was very concerning. My mom was shaking and crying at this point (she was in the car with me when I got the voicemail).
Eventually, the nurse reached the doctor to get permission to tell me something, anything, and they said she'd been released to an organisation that organised beds for homeless people.
Unfortunately it was after 5 pm on a Friday by then and the organisation was closed. We don't know where my sister is and can't find out until Monday. By that point she could have had her stuff stolen or have been assaulted or ...anything. Her group home canNOT be worse than a shelter, right? I just don't understand why she'd give up a perfectly good bed and house. At that point, wouldn't even my parents' house, however awful she thinks they are, be better than a shelter? And isn't it kind of selfish to take up a bed when someone who literally has no other options sleeps on the street? WHERE are her case managers and the state and her therapist and, and, and, in all of this?
Everyone is really worried, except for the people who are paid to, and supposed to be, taking care of her. Her case manager is "off for the weekend." It seems I'm the only person in my family that my sister will talk to, so it's up to me to figure out where she is and how to keep her safe.
I wish more were done for the mentally ill in this country. The state of her care and the lack of concern by her caregivers is simply appalling.
(ETA 20/09/2014: She called and is safe--she went back to her group home after all. So. All is back to "normal" again. For now.)
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Monday, September 08, 2014
Back in the States
This trip to the US to visit family is like no other. For one, it isn't really a break. I'm working almost as much as I did in Auckland.
Secondly, my sister is in a group home over an hour away from my parents' and I haven't even talked to her since I got home. No, it's worse than that--I haven't talked to her in months. But I thought once I came home she would at least be reachable. I have called at least 3 times a day and cannot get ahold of her. The place she's staying has a phone but it is usually busy, and she never calls us. They say she is in bed whenever I can reach the staff on the phone. Usually she is the first person to greet me at the airport, so this ...silence is just so weird for me. When I am home, she usually stays at my parents' house as well, and it is a busy, whirlwindy time of us going everywhere together, sometimes arguing but immediately making up in that sister-like way, and spending 24-7 with her as my shadow. So I'm pretty confused and hurt right now. This is completely new behaviour, her not wanting to have anything to do with me. I'm afraid it is going to be the permanent change that I've been dreading but that has been coming for a really long while.
Thirdly, I came down with a cold on the 31 hour flight over. I'm only now, 4 days later, getting to the point where I can imagine not sleeping 15 hours a day (am also jet lagged and catching up on sleep from not sleeping at all during my travels, so that is usually from about 5 am to 8 pm!) and staying up long enough to get over my jet lag. Also finally at the point where I can imagine getting out of the house and driving my dad's truck around on the wrong/Right side of the road without having to blow my nose or (!) close my eyes on the highway to sneeze.
Other lessons? I've been tracking the electric usage at my apartment in NZ and ...it might be ME who is the expensive one. Electricity usage is seriously low the past few days. I don't know if my flatmates went out of town for the weekend or what (I think they had plans), but I might have to change some of my habits when I go back so I can save some $$.
They also gave their notice, so as soon as I go back I'll have to advertise on Trademe. It will be sad to see them go, but it'll be nice to be able to start charging a bit more for rent. For one, even if I keep the rent at $300 for a couple, I'll have to start splitting the electric and internet bill, which will help me A LOT. Esp. if I change those habits and get the bill down.
I bought so much stuff already! Sadly, it won't lead to free tickets home even though these charges are on airmiles bonus cc's. I'll have to keep trying for that, or tack my trip home on to a work trip next year.
Some goodies I've bought:
This watch that I've been coveting for 7 years. My 5 year old watch has been playing up for a year, losing time and suddenly stopping for no reason, even with new batteries, so it's time for a new one. Also my old watch was an anniversary present from my ex, so...yeah. This is actually the watch I liked a little more but before I could tell him I had decided on it he picked a different (but similar) one to give me instead. Lovely of him, but typical.
This smartphone. Waterproof, excellent camera for twittering for work (have gotten into social media in a big way lately). I don't NEED a new phone, but my old one is very very slow to the point of frustration and terrible envy whenever I touch another person's phone. It has excellent reviews and also replaces my waterproof camera, which is also frustrating and slow as of late and has started to get pieces breaking off of it in the last few months. This phone replaces both camera and old phone, upgrades both in a big way, will allow me to carry just one piece of tech instead of two, and will help with work stuff. I hope this plan works, because I've owned whole cars that were not as expensive as this phone!!
This travel sound conditioner/white noise maker. I have slept with a fan on for the past 10+ years--only way I can really sleep well. I love this sound conditioner so far. This should definitely help lower my electric bill, esp. if I get the battery pack for it!
Secondly, my sister is in a group home over an hour away from my parents' and I haven't even talked to her since I got home. No, it's worse than that--I haven't talked to her in months. But I thought once I came home she would at least be reachable. I have called at least 3 times a day and cannot get ahold of her. The place she's staying has a phone but it is usually busy, and she never calls us. They say she is in bed whenever I can reach the staff on the phone. Usually she is the first person to greet me at the airport, so this ...silence is just so weird for me. When I am home, she usually stays at my parents' house as well, and it is a busy, whirlwindy time of us going everywhere together, sometimes arguing but immediately making up in that sister-like way, and spending 24-7 with her as my shadow. So I'm pretty confused and hurt right now. This is completely new behaviour, her not wanting to have anything to do with me. I'm afraid it is going to be the permanent change that I've been dreading but that has been coming for a really long while.
Thirdly, I came down with a cold on the 31 hour flight over. I'm only now, 4 days later, getting to the point where I can imagine not sleeping 15 hours a day (am also jet lagged and catching up on sleep from not sleeping at all during my travels, so that is usually from about 5 am to 8 pm!) and staying up long enough to get over my jet lag. Also finally at the point where I can imagine getting out of the house and driving my dad's truck around on the wrong/Right side of the road without having to blow my nose or (!) close my eyes on the highway to sneeze.
Other lessons? I've been tracking the electric usage at my apartment in NZ and ...it might be ME who is the expensive one. Electricity usage is seriously low the past few days. I don't know if my flatmates went out of town for the weekend or what (I think they had plans), but I might have to change some of my habits when I go back so I can save some $$.
They also gave their notice, so as soon as I go back I'll have to advertise on Trademe. It will be sad to see them go, but it'll be nice to be able to start charging a bit more for rent. For one, even if I keep the rent at $300 for a couple, I'll have to start splitting the electric and internet bill, which will help me A LOT. Esp. if I change those habits and get the bill down.
I bought so much stuff already! Sadly, it won't lead to free tickets home even though these charges are on airmiles bonus cc's. I'll have to keep trying for that, or tack my trip home on to a work trip next year.
Some goodies I've bought:
This watch that I've been coveting for 7 years. My 5 year old watch has been playing up for a year, losing time and suddenly stopping for no reason, even with new batteries, so it's time for a new one. Also my old watch was an anniversary present from my ex, so...yeah. This is actually the watch I liked a little more but before I could tell him I had decided on it he picked a different (but similar) one to give me instead. Lovely of him, but typical.
This smartphone. Waterproof, excellent camera for twittering for work (have gotten into social media in a big way lately). I don't NEED a new phone, but my old one is very very slow to the point of frustration and terrible envy whenever I touch another person's phone. It has excellent reviews and also replaces my waterproof camera, which is also frustrating and slow as of late and has started to get pieces breaking off of it in the last few months. This phone replaces both camera and old phone, upgrades both in a big way, will allow me to carry just one piece of tech instead of two, and will help with work stuff. I hope this plan works, because I've owned whole cars that were not as expensive as this phone!!
This travel sound conditioner/white noise maker. I have slept with a fan on for the past 10+ years--only way I can really sleep well. I love this sound conditioner so far. This should definitely help lower my electric bill, esp. if I get the battery pack for it!
Monday, September 01, 2014
August 2014 Budget
UGH. SO. BUSY.
PhD has taken over my life, plus part-time work and a thriving social life. I'm running on 5 hours of sleep a night for the past several weeks. On top of that, I haven't been able to talk to my sister in months. She was in the hospital and not speaking to anyone, then released to a group home where the patient phone is always busy and I can't even leave a message because their mailbox is full.
August was really fun, though. I got almost 1/3 of my sample prep done for my first PhD project (1 of 3). I also went on a couldn't-be-more-perfect ski weekend with some awesome people (new group of friends I met almost a year ago, yet I still call them my 'new' friends), had a fun girl's night out dancing, and did a ton of other one on one type events with some of them, along with older friends.
I'm busier and more social then ever yet feel pretty alone whenever I have a chance to sit down. As an introvert, I love being by myself usually, but recent events have made me feel like I'm ready for real companionship, esp. if I'm going to be here in NZ long-term (i.e. the next 5 years). It's pretty weird--I don't get asked out here, ever. I don't get it. I'm a total catch, if I do say so myself! I have all of my business together, I'm smart, funny, stable, kind, and, when I make a minimal effort--say, spend 10 min in the AM to put on mascara, foundation, and lip gloss, and pull together an outfit--not too horrible looking! I put myself out there, am fun, and am flirty and try to make it quite easy to be asked out when I'm interested, so I really don't understand what I'm missing or doing wrong here. I should be racking up. :) There is obviously something that I'm not seeing or understanding going on.
Ah well. I'll have to cash in some of my funds and finally go to a therapist, I think. That's the only way that mystery is going to be solved. Til then--I will continue to have fun! I am going home for a month soon and CANNOT WAIT to see my family and friends and SHOP! and eat yummy American foooooodddddd. I'm drooling just thinking about all the goodies that await me.
So August was crazy.
Income: $4,792.94
I'm still getting overpaid for school (double the paycheck, double the fun), so that needs to be fixed. In the meantime, I make a lot more than I usually do, and that ismostly sometimes saved up. This month was a 5 paycheck month, so I was able to save $1,264.53.
Along with monthly interest on my savings ($130.91), that's going to top up my long-term investment fund to $3.6K. That means I've met my goal of increasing my taxable long term investment fund by $3K USD. Adding $3K to that fund also fulfills my goal of having $10K USD in a Vanguard fund, and that, my friends, will top me up to a level where I am eligible to get Admiral shares (and halving my expense ratio) for that exact same fund, one of my long-term $$ goals. Yippee!
As I've reached my yearly milestone for that long-term goal, the $600 per month I've allocated to long-term goals will have to be split up a bit more between long and short term til the end of the year, wherein I'll make another long-term retirement/taxable investment goal (probably another $3K as you pretty much need $3K to enter another fund in the Vanguard market). How exactly that will be split up is still TBD.
I've made some changes to the short-term goal list, too:
1) Since it looks like work may be sending me to Europe next summer for about a month (July-August-September time frame), I'm going to move my Europe trip fund from long-term goals to my short-term goal list and will concentrate on filling that up as high as possible until I go. I'm not going to be able to spend as much time there as I'd like--so I'll have to save up AGAIN for a real trip, but that's OK. Work will get me flights there and hotel for part of the time in Prague and Germany. I don't expect to use a significant portion of my Europe fund, but it's there if I need it--not skimping on the experience as it's my first time there! I'm going to tack on a trip to London to see my best friend there going or coming, too.
2) I've added my 2016 US Trip Fund to the mix, since I know I'll be making less next year and it will therefore take longer to save up that $3K next year. What was previously my 'Whatever' Fund has now been reallocated to this fund. See? Even if you don't have a specific goal at a particular time, it's good to save as eventually you'll be able to put a face to the name, so to speak.
So that outlines my goals for the next year, in fact:
1) Until December, I'll split the allocated $600 per month savings + any monthly leftovers between my house down payment fund (at least $175), 2016 US Trip Fund, and my Europe fund (again, at least $175 per month, don't want to lose traction there!).
2) Starting January 2015, I'll start saving $250 per month to a $3K Taxable investment fund in order to reach my next milestone on my long-term retirement fund goal: buying another fund (Vanguard FTSE All-World ex-US Small-Cap Index Fund to complement my above fund, or Total International Index fund to own a more complete index fund that is more tax-efficient, or another fund that I discover is most tax-managed or efficient (tax managed funds, maybe?). I'll build that one up in successive years til I have Admiral shares in that one, too. Of the $350 leftover from my $600 per month mandatory savings, $175 will go to Europe and $175 will go to the House down payment fund. Monthly overages will be split between the Europe and the $3K US Trip Funds.
3) Maintain $100K NZD Net Worth.
PhD has taken over my life, plus part-time work and a thriving social life. I'm running on 5 hours of sleep a night for the past several weeks. On top of that, I haven't been able to talk to my sister in months. She was in the hospital and not speaking to anyone, then released to a group home where the patient phone is always busy and I can't even leave a message because their mailbox is full.
August was really fun, though. I got almost 1/3 of my sample prep done for my first PhD project (1 of 3). I also went on a couldn't-be-more-perfect ski weekend with some awesome people (new group of friends I met almost a year ago, yet I still call them my 'new' friends), had a fun girl's night out dancing, and did a ton of other one on one type events with some of them, along with older friends.
I'm busier and more social then ever yet feel pretty alone whenever I have a chance to sit down. As an introvert, I love being by myself usually, but recent events have made me feel like I'm ready for real companionship, esp. if I'm going to be here in NZ long-term (i.e. the next 5 years). It's pretty weird--I don't get asked out here, ever. I don't get it. I'm a total catch, if I do say so myself! I have all of my business together, I'm smart, funny, stable, kind, and, when I make a minimal effort--say, spend 10 min in the AM to put on mascara, foundation, and lip gloss, and pull together an outfit--not too horrible looking! I put myself out there, am fun, and am flirty and try to make it quite easy to be asked out when I'm interested, so I really don't understand what I'm missing or doing wrong here. I should be racking up. :) There is obviously something that I'm not seeing or understanding going on.
Ah well. I'll have to cash in some of my funds and finally go to a therapist, I think. That's the only way that mystery is going to be solved. Til then--I will continue to have fun! I am going home for a month soon and CANNOT WAIT to see my family and friends and SHOP! and eat yummy American foooooodddddd. I'm drooling just thinking about all the goodies that await me.
So August was crazy.
| Aug 2014 Budget | |||
| Category | Spent | Budgeted Amount | Balance |
| Rent | $1,250.00 | $1,000.00 | -$250.00 |
| Groceries | $590.76 | $425.00 | -$165.76 |
| Internet | $85.00 | $85.00 | $0.00 |
| Electricity | $183.00 | $250.00 | $67.00 |
| Eating Out | $183.50 | $150.00 | -$33.50 |
| Charity | $0.00 | $25.00 | $25.00 |
| Cell phone | $0.00 | $26.00 | $26.00 |
| Medical | $0.00 | $65.00 | $65.00 |
| Misc | $636.15 | $400.00 | -$236.15 |
| Savings | $600.00 | $600.00 | $0.00 |
| Total | $3,528.41 | $3,026.00 | -$502.41 |
| Remainder | $1,264.53 |
Income: $4,792.94
| MISC | |
| alcohol | $ 7.50 |
| entertainment | $ 19.50 |
| exercise | $ 25.00 |
| fees | $ - |
| gifts | $ - |
| goods and wants | $ 125.15 |
| transportation | $ 220.00 |
| travel | $ 229.00 |
I'm still getting overpaid for school (double the paycheck, double the fun), so that needs to be fixed. In the meantime, I make a lot more than I usually do, and that is
Along with monthly interest on my savings ($130.91), that's going to top up my long-term investment fund to $3.6K. That means I've met my goal of increasing my taxable long term investment fund by $3K USD. Adding $3K to that fund also fulfills my goal of having $10K USD in a Vanguard fund, and that, my friends, will top me up to a level where I am eligible to get Admiral shares (and halving my expense ratio) for that exact same fund, one of my long-term $$ goals. Yippee!
As I've reached my yearly milestone for that long-term goal, the $600 per month I've allocated to long-term goals will have to be split up a bit more between long and short term til the end of the year, wherein I'll make another long-term retirement/taxable investment goal (probably another $3K as you pretty much need $3K to enter another fund in the Vanguard market). How exactly that will be split up is still TBD.
I've made some changes to the short-term goal list, too:
1) Since it looks like work may be sending me to Europe next summer for about a month (July-August-September time frame), I'm going to move my Europe trip fund from long-term goals to my short-term goal list and will concentrate on filling that up as high as possible until I go. I'm not going to be able to spend as much time there as I'd like--so I'll have to save up AGAIN for a real trip, but that's OK. Work will get me flights there and hotel for part of the time in Prague and Germany. I don't expect to use a significant portion of my Europe fund, but it's there if I need it--not skimping on the experience as it's my first time there! I'm going to tack on a trip to London to see my best friend there going or coming, too.
2) I've added my 2016 US Trip Fund to the mix, since I know I'll be making less next year and it will therefore take longer to save up that $3K next year. What was previously my 'Whatever' Fund has now been reallocated to this fund. See? Even if you don't have a specific goal at a particular time, it's good to save as eventually you'll be able to put a face to the name, so to speak.
So that outlines my goals for the next year, in fact:
1) Until December, I'll split the allocated $600 per month savings + any monthly leftovers between my house down payment fund (at least $175), 2016 US Trip Fund, and my Europe fund (again, at least $175 per month, don't want to lose traction there!).
2) Starting January 2015, I'll start saving $250 per month to a $3K Taxable investment fund in order to reach my next milestone on my long-term retirement fund goal: buying another fund (Vanguard FTSE All-World ex-US Small-Cap Index Fund to complement my above fund, or Total International Index fund to own a more complete index fund that is more tax-efficient, or another fund that I discover is most tax-managed or efficient (tax managed funds, maybe?). I'll build that one up in successive years til I have Admiral shares in that one, too. Of the $350 leftover from my $600 per month mandatory savings, $175 will go to Europe and $175 will go to the House down payment fund. Monthly overages will be split between the Europe and the $3K US Trip Funds.
3) Maintain $100K NZD Net Worth.
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