With my flat complex being sold, my future feels extremely uncertain. Unfortunately, I've been planning for the future as if my tenancy was relatively secure.
It took me nearly 5 years of living here to finally start feeling settled enough in my apartment to make changes and investments in my apartment. Things like buying and putting up hooks in specific places where I like to hang towels, getting pieces of art that fit the wall dimensions, throw pillows and blankets that coordinate with the landlord's furniture, a desk and bookcase that fits my room, extra furniture for storage, implements that match the kitchen paint color, etc., that kind of thing.
I only did that because my landlord kept acting like my place was mine for as long as I wanted it. Even then, I felt little niggles of doubt, but ignored it. When you don't own your own place, the anvil can be dropped whenever.
I HATE that I am always right. I'm usually the most skeptical person in the room, the person that finds the holes and 'what-ifs.' It usually bears out that what other people take as pessimism and critique matches reality in practice.
It is part of the ADHD gift, I suppose - being able to anticipate the other shoe dropping. Because, in my experience, it always has.
It's really, really annoying.
Anyway, feeling so secure in the recent past allowed me to start dreaming of what I'd do post-PhD, and create a few 'dream budgets.' But now that my future is uncertain, my dream budgets have a glaring flaw: they're based on my rent staying approximately what it is now (bar a $5-$10 per week increase each year, which is what my landlord averages). Those costs could usually be taken care of by splitting the rent increase between three sources: my room, the primary bedroom, and the garage rent space. In 2014, I paid $550 per week for my apartment. In 2024, I pay $585. That's just a $35 per week increase in 10 years, about $3.50 per week increase per year.
Looking around now, there is NOTHING comparable available for rent that would keep my rent the same. I'd have to take a major downgrade in living conditions even if I doubled what I paid for my own room right now.
In other words, I'm screwed.
Even with my hours being increased to 0.5 FTE (what my boss agreed to) post-PhD, I still lose my PhD stipend in September. I won't actually make more than I do now...in fact I'll make LESS.
It feels useless here in NZ now. Rent and housing prices are so high that I can't see a future here anymore. I was really hoping to get to enjoy my life post-PhD, having lots of spare time to do all the things I haven't been able to for the past 10 years, but I don't see how that is possible.
The rental prices are such that I could devote my WHOLE paycheck, bar groceries and utilities and medical costs, to rent and it still would not allow me to get my own bathroom.
