With all the changes in my life, this blog's focus will most likely shift again, even further from personal finance to more PhD posts (though money is a huge issue while in school). Sorry in advance for those that have been here the whole time and have zero interest in grad school stuff...
All of my goals and budgets will change, so stay tuned for that.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
So Grateful
The past week has been a whirlwind. I'm still trying to process it all.
Basically, I was offered a fully funded PhD out of the blue. That is extremely rare and amazing.
Moreover, so far I've gotten to call the shots and negotiate to get exactly what I want.
That is insanity, but in a good way.
Of course, this benefits my employer as well (they get to pressure me to pump out more research and journal articles), but WOW. I'm only now starting to realize how awesome and lucky I have been in my life. These things...don't just happen. Or do they?
Sometimes I feel like all the threads of my life have conspired to bring me to a certain time and place, and I feel it. IT is that feeling you get when all is right in your world, and you feel like you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. That bliss is indescribable. And so fleeting...there isn't much you can do to get it, except keep plugging away at your goals and do what makes you happiest in the hopes that it will all come together, somehow.
I felt it when I was in grad school the first time. I applied on a whim to a faraway school (mostly because it had a really cheap application fee: $25 and was in a cool place, and only secondarily because it had a good rep (oops, don't do this, folks!)), and got in with full funding for 4 years for my MS degree. Although my hard work got me the grades to get into that school, I still lucked out that the people that were to become my soul mates also decided to move to Hawaii, and that my advisor was looking for someone the exact year I applied. He was from the same state and took a liking to my application; normally he did not take students on (still, to this day, 10 years after graduating, he has not had another student after me). Though my dad and sister were ill during that time in grad school, and lots of other bad things happened over that 4 year time span, I still felt I was where I was meant to be, was with the people that I was meant to meet and spend time with, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing in life. There was a greater purpose, and order, and I was fulfilling it.
Some people call that God. Some, fate and destiny. Whatever that is, I'm glad it exists. I've been searching for that feeling ever since I lost it. I think it is sort of happening again:
Just as I decide that I would move permanently to NZ and give life here a chance, I start meeting a ton of great new friends who also plan on being in NZ for a long while. Just as I realize I need to do the PhD and start thinking more about my options, two new faculty members in my narrow field of interest come into the department. Just as I am worrying about PhD finances, my family becomes a bit more financially solvent (so the low PhD income doesn't matter as much). Just as my major project is ending (and with it, funding) and I am trying to work out how to get money to do a part-time PhD (or if anything like that exists), my boss's boss comes into pile 'o' money to offer to a student, and offers it to me first, part-time.
Wow. That's a lot of coincidences and a ton of perfect timing, stars aligning, what-have-you.
From there, things spiral rapidly. New faculty members want to change up the department, and one of them, whom I like very much and have already vetted by speaking to people at a conference last year, really wants to take me on as a student. The other is the Dept head and has gotten oodles of money to offer to a PhD student to help with the department. Those two also like each other, and Dept head practically gives the money away to the other to take me on.
Words can't describe how grateful I am for all of this.
Everything is just set up for me so perfectly. I'm getting everything I want (aside from living close to my folks). I almost feel guilty, except that I know I work hard and did nothing to manipulate or plan this situation into happening. It just DID. On its own, somehow. I should just appreciate it and enjoy it and not question it so much. It was obviously meant to be.
One great relief is that my parents no longer need me to be their financial safety net. In fact, I can now almost stand on my own independently, and they have offered their financial support if I need it. I really don't feel comfortable with that or think they are in a place to do that--maybe once they pay off their house and my mom seems more secure, I'd think about relaxing a little bit more and getting help with airfare to come home in the later lean years, something like that--but they are on their way. Hurrah!
Basically, I was offered a fully funded PhD out of the blue. That is extremely rare and amazing.
Moreover, so far I've gotten to call the shots and negotiate to get exactly what I want.
That is insanity, but in a good way.
Of course, this benefits my employer as well (they get to pressure me to pump out more research and journal articles), but WOW. I'm only now starting to realize how awesome and lucky I have been in my life. These things...don't just happen. Or do they?
Sometimes I feel like all the threads of my life have conspired to bring me to a certain time and place, and I feel it. IT is that feeling you get when all is right in your world, and you feel like you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. That bliss is indescribable. And so fleeting...there isn't much you can do to get it, except keep plugging away at your goals and do what makes you happiest in the hopes that it will all come together, somehow.
I felt it when I was in grad school the first time. I applied on a whim to a faraway school (mostly because it had a really cheap application fee: $25 and was in a cool place, and only secondarily because it had a good rep (oops, don't do this, folks!)), and got in with full funding for 4 years for my MS degree. Although my hard work got me the grades to get into that school, I still lucked out that the people that were to become my soul mates also decided to move to Hawaii, and that my advisor was looking for someone the exact year I applied. He was from the same state and took a liking to my application; normally he did not take students on (still, to this day, 10 years after graduating, he has not had another student after me). Though my dad and sister were ill during that time in grad school, and lots of other bad things happened over that 4 year time span, I still felt I was where I was meant to be, was with the people that I was meant to meet and spend time with, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing in life. There was a greater purpose, and order, and I was fulfilling it.
Some people call that God. Some, fate and destiny. Whatever that is, I'm glad it exists. I've been searching for that feeling ever since I lost it. I think it is sort of happening again:
Just as I decide that I would move permanently to NZ and give life here a chance, I start meeting a ton of great new friends who also plan on being in NZ for a long while. Just as I realize I need to do the PhD and start thinking more about my options, two new faculty members in my narrow field of interest come into the department. Just as I am worrying about PhD finances, my family becomes a bit more financially solvent (so the low PhD income doesn't matter as much). Just as my major project is ending (and with it, funding) and I am trying to work out how to get money to do a part-time PhD (or if anything like that exists), my boss's boss comes into pile 'o' money to offer to a student, and offers it to me first, part-time.
Wow. That's a lot of coincidences and a ton of perfect timing, stars aligning, what-have-you.
From there, things spiral rapidly. New faculty members want to change up the department, and one of them, whom I like very much and have already vetted by speaking to people at a conference last year, really wants to take me on as a student. The other is the Dept head and has gotten oodles of money to offer to a PhD student to help with the department. Those two also like each other, and Dept head practically gives the money away to the other to take me on.
Words can't describe how grateful I am for all of this.
Everything is just set up for me so perfectly. I'm getting everything I want (aside from living close to my folks). I almost feel guilty, except that I know I work hard and did nothing to manipulate or plan this situation into happening. It just DID. On its own, somehow. I should just appreciate it and enjoy it and not question it so much. It was obviously meant to be.
One great relief is that my parents no longer need me to be their financial safety net. In fact, I can now almost stand on my own independently, and they have offered their financial support if I need it. I really don't feel comfortable with that or think they are in a place to do that--maybe once they pay off their house and my mom seems more secure, I'd think about relaxing a little bit more and getting help with airfare to come home in the later lean years, something like that--but they are on their way. Hurrah!
Everything is falling into place. What a life.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Getting Serious
It is amazing it has taken me this long, but at 35, I'm finally Ready to get serious. Serious about my life, my goals, my aspirations, etc. I can feel it creeping in, the seriousness.
There have been signs the past couple of years: no longer enjoying crappy reality tv shows (yet still trying to watch them; they are a staple in my gay-boyfriend conversation diet) but getting addicted to HGTV and house-buying shows (a new favorite amongst my gays, too, thank God), scoffing at new slang words or actions and the new drugs the youngins are into, no longer clubbing so much (at all), and thinking more and more about settling down and putting roots someplace--being tired of not living where I am.
Oh, and I finally learned how to fold a fitted sheet. And then after many months, successfully made a pretty, smooth, rectangular folded piece of linen. That was pretty epic.
So you see I've met the basic requirements of adulthood. :)
For the past few years in my career and life, I've always known that I had it very very easy. My job is insanely fun and doesn't require much of me, unless I want to give it. EVERYTHING is on my own terms: my schedule, if I want to work from home (or while in another country) or not, the content and details of my research projects, my leave, how I want to structure my days, weeks, months, and with few exceptions, my tasks. I have a great boss who gives me opportunities at every turn, that I can take or leave at my whim. I can suggest opportunities, and she makes them happen. Because of my job, the rest of my life has been amazing: I take vacations when I want, as much as I want, and happily can afford it all, while saving even. I've been incredibly lucky.
However, in the back of my mind, there's been a nagging feeling that my life was TOO fun, TOO easy, TOO great--that it can't last forever. Waiting for the other shoe to drop...
Maybe it never will! Maybe I could do this for the rest of my life. That would be pretty amazing. But am I doing everything I can to get everything I want out of life and to secure my future in my career? Nope, I'm not. I'm doing a LOT--but there is more I could be doing, and unfortunately, that will require introducing some hard stuff into my life and job. AKA seriousness. AKA adulthood.
Others have brought this up repeatedly: Q's: Sense, what are you going to DO when your project ends? Where is your career going? Don't you want your own projects? (A: I don't know, my boss and I will figure it out--we always have; I want to continue exactly doing what I'm doing now, it's fun; no, not if I have to support myself via publish and perish!).
If I want the world to open up for me in my job, though, and to reach what I perceive as my FULL POTENTIAL (TM), I have to give up some fun. Firstly, I want to be able to get a job in the US if I want. Despite my repeated, sustained, and monumental efforts, I have not been able to accomplish this at my current level. Secondly, I want to be taken a bit more seriously as a researcher and as someone committed to my career. Again, I do not feel as though people know where to place me: I am ten years out of grad school, yet am not a professor or academic, yet I work at a University, yet am not a PhD, yet do serious research, yet also organise meetings and go for tea runs, yet am on TV being interviewed by the news. What the heck am I? I have to be able to fit into others' paradigms for them to find a place and proper fit for me in their organisation. This is clear.
It is also clear that the EASIEST way for someone to place me is for me to have 'Dr.' before my name. That, combined with all of my contacts, work experience, and expertise, will give me a huge leg up in my career and future. They will be able to place me. I might be able to get the future I want.
So last Tuesday at my performance review, it was crazy to hear that I was being offered $90K over 5 years to do a PhD part-time. This seems to be the answer, and it was just handed to me on a silver platter. JUST as I decided that I was going to move to NZ permanently, and JUST was I was seriously considering a PhD, this opportunity came up. This is even better than I could have asked for or dreamed up on my own.
The next five years in NZ, at least: this means I have to fully grow up. To me, getting a PhD means I have to take myself more seriously. Stop screwing around with my life. Stop taking the easy way out. Buckle down. Invest in myself and my life and use the time I have to better everything about me. To me, it means I'll be in the same place for the longest I've been anywhere since I lived at home. At my age, it also means I need to start doing things that I've been putting off, like dating and buying a house. (As an aside, there were zero profiles of Auckland dudes that had a profile with perfect grammar and spelling between 30-40, many, many pages deep into that sucker. I think I'm doomed there.)
I'm committed, I'm ready, and I'm willing. Let's do this, adulthood.
I'm committed, I'm ready, and I'm willing. Let's do this, adulthood.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Guess What? I'm Moving To...
New Zealand!
Haha. Sorry. I couldn't resist. :) I promise that there is actual news in this post. Keep reading.
You know how I've been so determined to move back to the US, some way, some how? And how I've failed miserably to move my career there despite giving it ALL of my effort, so recently decided to change my attitude, officially make NZ my home and see how that worked?
The only issue with that was my job. I am only on 1 year contracts, and last year my salary was cut to 80%. I wasn't happy about this, but it allowed me to spend more time at home. While on all that time off, I did a ton of thinking. Mainly about where my life was going, how I was going to be able to stay in my beloved career, and what was next after my current project ended?
My boss is excellent at cobbling together moneys and negotiating great deals to get me to stay. But even she has her limits, and I'm more than tired of second guessing whether I have a job or not each year.
Last week, I got a call from the head of our department, saying he wanted to meet with me to discuss my career goals in the formal review process. I have never had to do this before--prior, my boss and I would sit down each year, review my progress and aspirations, and make new goals for the next year. It has always worked and always been quite a fun and relaxed process in which she basically solves most my problems. She's amazing.
But this year went down very differently!
I filled out the crazy form, and put down that my new goal to stay in NZ and possibly do a PhD but also definitely complete my current project. Lo and behold, the Head offered me what is kind of the perfect solution:
a) I stay on with my current project until the end (currently this is mid-2015, but it will most likely continue beyond that)
b) he offered me a part-time PhD doing close to what I'm doing now, just expanded in scope and depth
c) it is fully funded for five years
d) I'd work with my current boss on that PhD, plus with another supervisor that I have picked out and investigated and get along with already.
This would be an investment of $90K (tax-free) over 5 years for me. Salary would be partly funded through my current project and partly via PhD salary. I could tutor and stuff to make extra money, so my salary should stay just about the same as it is now.
Though that all sounds really daunting and scary for this commitment-phobe, I think that is a hurrah?
...Now comes the hard part. :) I think I'm ready, though!
Haha. Sorry. I couldn't resist. :) I promise that there is actual news in this post. Keep reading.
You know how I've been so determined to move back to the US, some way, some how? And how I've failed miserably to move my career there despite giving it ALL of my effort, so recently decided to change my attitude, officially make NZ my home and see how that worked?
The only issue with that was my job. I am only on 1 year contracts, and last year my salary was cut to 80%. I wasn't happy about this, but it allowed me to spend more time at home. While on all that time off, I did a ton of thinking. Mainly about where my life was going, how I was going to be able to stay in my beloved career, and what was next after my current project ended?
My boss is excellent at cobbling together moneys and negotiating great deals to get me to stay. But even she has her limits, and I'm more than tired of second guessing whether I have a job or not each year.
Last week, I got a call from the head of our department, saying he wanted to meet with me to discuss my career goals in the formal review process. I have never had to do this before--prior, my boss and I would sit down each year, review my progress and aspirations, and make new goals for the next year. It has always worked and always been quite a fun and relaxed process in which she basically solves most my problems. She's amazing.
But this year went down very differently!
I filled out the crazy form, and put down that my new goal to stay in NZ and possibly do a PhD but also definitely complete my current project. Lo and behold, the Head offered me what is kind of the perfect solution:
a) I stay on with my current project until the end (currently this is mid-2015, but it will most likely continue beyond that)
b) he offered me a part-time PhD doing close to what I'm doing now, just expanded in scope and depth
c) it is fully funded for five years
d) I'd work with my current boss on that PhD, plus with another supervisor that I have picked out and investigated and get along with already.
This would be an investment of $90K (tax-free) over 5 years for me. Salary would be partly funded through my current project and partly via PhD salary. I could tutor and stuff to make extra money, so my salary should stay just about the same as it is now.
Though that all sounds really daunting and scary for this commitment-phobe, I think that is a hurrah?
...Now comes the hard part. :) I think I'm ready, though!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Funny story from the archives...
I recently found some posts from my former blog. This one details a Christmas visit home in 2005 (formatting like apostrophes was unfortunately taken out during copy+paste. I'm sorry!). It is so interesting to compare that one with the one I just experienced. I find this hilarious!
I swear this is all true. Every word. But you still wont believe me.
Everyone has a weird family. Everyone getslets saya little nervous about bringing a stranger home to meet the fam. But I contend that I have a little more reason than most, the details for that reason to be expounded upon in the following paragraphs. Im going to have to drug my future husband before he can meet mi familia. Maybe even before he meets me.
Last night we had our annual family gathering at my grandma's house. Its loud and crazy and smoky and halfway through the night, usually while the kids are eating dinner in the dining room, Santa comes and drops off some presents for us to open later that night. Its everything youd want from a family gathering. These events are quite memorable in their consistency-someone always yells or storms off, and last night was no exception. Maybe a little more low-key than most, to both my utter dismay and delight. Then again, I was at church for an hour and a half of it, perhaps something went down during that time. Its inevitable, maybe one of my aunts or uncles was served a fraction more pie than the others and someone complained (read: yelled) of the injustice. These things happen.
So lets now detail what previously unknown-to-man treasures I found myself unwrapping last night. Getting presents is fun when youre a kid, but its even more interesting as an adult--what do people that love you think youre into? What do they think your tastes are? Its an unparalleled litmus test. By this point in my career as a niece and granddaughter, I know what to expect of gifts from my family: a) handmade, b) a presentation like they are treasures from a lost compartment on the Titanic, and c) crap. Not that I dont appreciate the effort, time, and love with which they are given, but. Seriously, people. I just dont know where to put these 12 lovely handpainted ballerinas. Where on earth did you find them? Oh right. The Titanic.
Im very grateful that my family loves me, and misses me, and thinks of me enough to make me stuff. Really I am. But according to them, Im into plastic floral arrangements that have been rigged with Christmas lights to light up. interspersed with blue fur for good measure, of course. And while I do appreciate a good floral arrangement from time to time--Im not sure Im ready for anything resembling a butchered Muppet baby. Just havent graduated that far yet.Ill
No matter what I tell them is on my Christmas list when they ask (which I have made every year since that awful, ignorant year I didnt make a list and received that Bedazzled [TM] jacket), I always end up with a few wise-asses who try to think outside of the clearly drawn, explained, highlighted, and italicized box.
Are you ready? I will now detail a few choice presents from my pile o gifts:
1) four handpainted Christmas ornaments (dont have a tree in CA)
2) three (again, handpainted) glass window hangy things, with Jesus in various poses
3) a t-shirt with a painted Rudolph on it (he has a sequined (maybe Bedazzled[TM]?) nose)
4) a bathtub pillow (miraculously not handpainted, maybe they ran out of time?)
5) a ginormous handsewn purse with big different color polka dots on it, in the unfortunate event that I need to smuggle a clown baby and all of its belongings out of the country
and the piece de resistance? drumroll please...
6) a lamp with a purple with white polka-dotted bustier as a lampshade.
That, my friends, was the hardest time Ive ever had not laughing, opening that box and seeing the bustier. I mean. Wow. I know some girls like that dcor, I have Nothing against it. Nothing. It's just so not...me. but against all odds, it's starting to grow on me, in a kitschy, wacky way. And Ill admit some of the gifts I received were great, I got a cute shirt from my aunt, books, a picture of my great-grandma Id never seen before, and my grandma gave me the stones from one of her necklaces shes always worn that broke.Ill
So that concludes the gift portion of the evening. Another highlight includes my 10-yr old male cousin saying he wished I were 10 years old so he could marry me. This has gone on for about 5 years now, this pursuing of my heart. While I appreciate the sentiment (as always), I do wonder when it will dawn on him that a) insert a million reasons here and b) perhaps most importantly of all, we are direct first cousins. Both his mom and me and just about the rest of the family has explained this one to him, to no avail. Flowers in the Attic, we are not. I'm assuming this is yet another horrifying consequence of the degradation of the public school system inAmerica
So that was last night. Today was fun, I got to see my family open my gifts to them, which is always great. But now its back to normal programming, with the toilet backed up because its raining (our sewer tank is full), my father on the CB (and occasionally coming through the radio and TV, making for some interesting 3 am wake ups) talking to Black Kitty, a trucker who has decided hes a reincarnated black panther (no indication if this is of the animal or a member of the group from the 60s), and my mother and sister tracking my every move like Im an endangered species. Which I am, I suppose, in this part of the world.
Yes. What else? Oh yes. Somehow me getting a phone call from a guy--or anyone but especially a guy--in my house is akin to the FBI getting a ring-a-ding from Osama. I was in the bathtub--ok, I know, too much detail, but REALLY, Im on vacation and its my favorite thing to do in the world and I dont really get to do it when Im working 75 hour weeks like I have been, and I get a phone call from my good friend Patrick. Since my cell doesnt work out here in the boonies, I have to get my calls on our landline. Mistake. Big Mistake, filtering my friends through my mom and dad. Let me tell ya.
My mother answers the phone on the first ring since of course, major tragedy is always about to strike the world and of course she is the first person anyone would call to tell about it--and COMES INTO THE BATHROOM WITH THE PHONE. The conversation goes down like this:
Mom (bursting into the bathroom since the door lock doesn't work): (MY NAME), THERE IS A GUY ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!!
She holds out the phone to me. I just stare at it, then at her.
Me: Uh, thanks, Mom. That's nice. I'm kind of busy here, though.
Mom (incredulous, like somehow the fate of the world rests in me taking this particular phone call): ARENT YOU GOING TO TAKE IT?
Me (completely wierded out): Uhhhh. (i do a quick judgment call here, watch this:) No. Do you mind shutting the door?
Mom (not getting the hint and shutting the door with herself in the bathroom, my poor friend on the line still): You want me to TAKE A MESSAGE?
Me: Yes please. Yeah, thatll do. Thanks so much. Can you leave?
She finally left, dejectedly, phone in hand, to take a message, telling my friend that I was busy in the bathtub (oh God) and then didnt even come back to tell me who it was. My friend heard the whole thing and was laughing like crazy. I cringe at the thought of actually getting a phone call from a guy I liked here. Ew. Thats unacceptable. Luckily, or more tellingly, that didnt happen much in high school. Thank Stars I was (am?) a loser.
We had a tete a tete after I got out of the bath, with me wanting to know why she thought I could have a friendly, let's catch up conversation with someone i haven't talked to in a month while I was naked in the tub. I mean, my friends and I are close, but: really? Catching up with people while simultaneously splashing around naked is a little too far for me. She was like, why not? Well, I said, its just weird. Also probably putts myself at risk of a shock of some sort. She is now under orders to tell everyone that calls for me here that I am unavailable if Im in the bathroom doing any activity at all. Why this needs to be spelled out, Im uncertain.
Then again, I could save so much time. If the next time you call you think you hear the ocean, be forewarned. I could just be naked. In the bathtub. Catching up.
[ETA: my 10 year old cousin is now 18, and no longer gets down on bended knee. Whew.]
I swear this is all true. Every word. But you still wont believe me.
Everyone has a weird family. Everyone getslets saya little nervous about bringing a stranger home to meet the fam. But I contend that I have a little more reason than most, the details for that reason to be expounded upon in the following paragraphs. Im going to have to drug my future husband before he can meet mi familia. Maybe even before he meets me.
Last night we had our annual family gathering at my grandma's house. Its loud and crazy and smoky and halfway through the night, usually while the kids are eating dinner in the dining room, Santa comes and drops off some presents for us to open later that night. Its everything youd want from a family gathering. These events are quite memorable in their consistency-someone always yells or storms off, and last night was no exception. Maybe a little more low-key than most, to both my utter dismay and delight. Then again, I was at church for an hour and a half of it, perhaps something went down during that time. Its inevitable, maybe one of my aunts or uncles was served a fraction more pie than the others and someone complained (read: yelled) of the injustice. These things happen.
So lets now detail what previously unknown-to-man treasures I found myself unwrapping last night. Getting presents is fun when youre a kid, but its even more interesting as an adult--what do people that love you think youre into? What do they think your tastes are? Its an unparalleled litmus test. By this point in my career as a niece and granddaughter, I know what to expect of gifts from my family: a) handmade, b) a presentation like they are treasures from a lost compartment on the Titanic, and c) crap. Not that I dont appreciate the effort, time, and love with which they are given, but. Seriously, people. I just dont know where to put these 12 lovely handpainted ballerinas. Where on earth did you find them? Oh right. The Titanic.
Im very grateful that my family loves me, and misses me, and thinks of me enough to make me stuff. Really I am. But according to them, Im into plastic floral arrangements that have been rigged with Christmas lights to light up. interspersed with blue fur for good measure, of course. And while I do appreciate a good floral arrangement from time to time--Im not sure Im ready for anything resembling a butchered Muppet baby. Just havent graduated that far yet.
No matter what I tell them is on my Christmas list when they ask (which I have made every year since that awful, ignorant year I didnt make a list and received that Bedazzled [TM] jacket), I always end up with a few wise-asses who try to think outside of the clearly drawn, explained, highlighted, and italicized box.
Are you ready? I will now detail a few choice presents from my pile o gifts:
1) four handpainted Christmas ornaments (dont have a tree in CA)
2) three (again, handpainted) glass window hangy things, with Jesus in various poses
3) a t-shirt with a painted Rudolph on it (he has a sequined (maybe Bedazzled[TM]?) nose)
4) a bathtub pillow (miraculously not handpainted, maybe they ran out of time?)
5) a ginormous handsewn purse with big different color polka dots on it, in the unfortunate event that I need to smuggle a clown baby and all of its belongings out of the country
and the piece de resistance? drumroll please...
6) a lamp with a purple with white polka-dotted bustier as a lampshade.
That, my friends, was the hardest time Ive ever had not laughing, opening that box and seeing the bustier. I mean. Wow. I know some girls like that dcor, I have Nothing against it. Nothing. It's just so not...me. but against all odds, it's starting to grow on me, in a kitschy, wacky way. And Ill admit some of the gifts I received were great, I got a cute shirt from my aunt, books, a picture of my great-grandma Id never seen before, and my grandma gave me the stones from one of her necklaces shes always worn that broke.
So that concludes the gift portion of the evening. Another highlight includes my 10-yr old male cousin saying he wished I were 10 years old so he could marry me. This has gone on for about 5 years now, this pursuing of my heart. While I appreciate the sentiment (as always), I do wonder when it will dawn on him that a) insert a million reasons here and b) perhaps most importantly of all, we are direct first cousins. Both his mom and me and just about the rest of the family has explained this one to him, to no avail. Flowers in the Attic, we are not. I'm assuming this is yet another horrifying consequence of the degradation of the public school system in
So that was last night. Today was fun, I got to see my family open my gifts to them, which is always great. But now its back to normal programming, with the toilet backed up because its raining (our sewer tank is full), my father on the CB (and occasionally coming through the radio and TV, making for some interesting 3 am wake ups) talking to Black Kitty, a trucker who has decided hes a reincarnated black panther (no indication if this is of the animal or a member of the group from the 60s), and my mother and sister tracking my every move like Im an endangered species. Which I am, I suppose, in this part of the world.
Yes. What else? Oh yes. Somehow me getting a phone call from a guy--or anyone but especially a guy--in my house is akin to the FBI getting a ring-a-ding from Osama. I was in the bathtub--ok, I know, too much detail, but REALLY, Im on vacation and its my favorite thing to do in the world and I dont really get to do it when Im working 75 hour weeks like I have been, and I get a phone call from my good friend Patrick. Since my cell doesnt work out here in the boonies, I have to get my calls on our landline. Mistake. Big Mistake, filtering my friends through my mom and dad. Let me tell ya.
My mother answers the phone on the first ring since of course, major tragedy is always about to strike the world and of course she is the first person anyone would call to tell about it--and COMES INTO THE BATHROOM WITH THE PHONE. The conversation goes down like this:
Mom (bursting into the bathroom since the door lock doesn't work): (MY NAME), THERE IS A GUY ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!!
She holds out the phone to me. I just stare at it, then at her.
Me: Uh, thanks, Mom. That's nice. I'm kind of busy here, though.
Mom (incredulous, like somehow the fate of the world rests in me taking this particular phone call): ARENT YOU GOING TO TAKE IT?
Me (completely wierded out): Uhhhh. (i do a quick judgment call here, watch this:) No. Do you mind shutting the door?
Mom (not getting the hint and shutting the door with herself in the bathroom, my poor friend on the line still): You want me to TAKE A MESSAGE?
Me: Yes please. Yeah, thatll do. Thanks so much. Can you leave?
She finally left, dejectedly, phone in hand, to take a message, telling my friend that I was busy in the bathtub (oh God) and then didnt even come back to tell me who it was. My friend heard the whole thing and was laughing like crazy. I cringe at the thought of actually getting a phone call from a guy I liked here. Ew. Thats unacceptable. Luckily, or more tellingly, that didnt happen much in high school. Thank Stars I was (am?) a loser.
We had a tete a tete after I got out of the bath, with me wanting to know why she thought I could have a friendly, let's catch up conversation with someone i haven't talked to in a month while I was naked in the tub. I mean, my friends and I are close, but: really? Catching up with people while simultaneously splashing around naked is a little too far for me. She was like, why not? Well, I said, its just weird. Also probably putts myself at risk of a shock of some sort. She is now under orders to tell everyone that calls for me here that I am unavailable if Im in the bathroom doing any activity at all. Why this needs to be spelled out, Im uncertain.
Then again, I could save so much time. If the next time you call you think you hear the ocean, be forewarned. I could just be naked. In the bathtub. Catching up.
[ETA: my 10 year old cousin is now 18, and no longer gets down on bended knee. Whew.]
Short Term Goals Knocked Out
I seem to have an awesome problem: an excess of cash in both my US and NZ checking accounts.
US Excess Plan
The US excess is easily explainable--I transferred NZD to be converted to USD so that I could contribute to my taxable retirement account I have with Vanguard, since I cannot contribute to a Roth anymore. :(
I ended up buying $3.5K USD of Vanguard shares, bringing that fund total to ~$7K. My goal this year is to bring that total up to $10K USD so that I can convert it to Admiral shares and get an even lower expense ratio. I am contributing $250/mo to that fund. That should get me to $3K NZD, and the rest (about $600) I'll make up somehow--it will be pretty close. Hurrah!
For my NZ account, I have about $4.5K that I can spend comfortably.
This is amazing, as it knocks out some of my funds and 2014 goals very quickly:
1. Fill out my Farewell Friends Down Under Travel fund to $3K, currently at $2,135.18. Though I'm not leaving NZ (though I have to wait until my next review to be sure about this!!), this can be put towards travel to see friends and new places, anyway. I want to get out to Thailand, some of the islands, and Perth to see various friends living in cool places, all of which I was planning on doing on my way home.
2. Fill out my Sanity Fund to $1K, currently at $794.42. I think that should be enough for now, particularly since I still have $$ in my Slush Fund (no difference between the two, really!).
3. Complete my 2015 US Trip Fund with $3K. Currently at $0, this is the easiest and earliest I have ever made AND completed a goal fund!
That leaves about $500 for me to keep as a bit of a cushion for the next few months of spending (slush funds on top of Sanity Funds on top of cushion funds...). Given my social schedule lately, I have a feeling I'll need it. Lots of plans on: Tiritiri Matangi (bird sanctuary trip), Tongariro Crossing trip, Taranaki trip...and a ton of other fun, outdoorsy type trips.
What's Next??
Since I have no more immediate short-term goal funds to fill out (how is that possible?), the interest I earn and the overages at the end of the month (should there be any) will go to beef up my Taxable Account, until I come up with new short-term goals. Hmmmm...excellent (Mr Burns'-style finger tenting).
US Excess Plan
The US excess is easily explainable--I transferred NZD to be converted to USD so that I could contribute to my taxable retirement account I have with Vanguard, since I cannot contribute to a Roth anymore. :(
I ended up buying $3.5K USD of Vanguard shares, bringing that fund total to ~$7K. My goal this year is to bring that total up to $10K USD so that I can convert it to Admiral shares and get an even lower expense ratio. I am contributing $250/mo to that fund. That should get me to $3K NZD, and the rest (about $600) I'll make up somehow--it will be pretty close. Hurrah!
NZ Excess Plan
The NZ excess is purely from being away from NZ for most of December, plus reimbursements that came through. But I didn't expect it to be that much!For my NZ account, I have about $4.5K that I can spend comfortably.
This is amazing, as it knocks out some of my funds and 2014 goals very quickly:
1. Fill out my Farewell Friends Down Under Travel fund to $3K, currently at $2,135.18. Though I'm not leaving NZ (though I have to wait until my next review to be sure about this!!), this can be put towards travel to see friends and new places, anyway. I want to get out to Thailand, some of the islands, and Perth to see various friends living in cool places, all of which I was planning on doing on my way home.
2. Fill out my Sanity Fund to $1K, currently at $794.42. I think that should be enough for now, particularly since I still have $$ in my Slush Fund (no difference between the two, really!).
3. Complete my 2015 US Trip Fund with $3K. Currently at $0, this is the easiest and earliest I have ever made AND completed a goal fund!
That leaves about $500 for me to keep as a bit of a cushion for the next few months of spending (slush funds on top of Sanity Funds on top of cushion funds...). Given my social schedule lately, I have a feeling I'll need it. Lots of plans on: Tiritiri Matangi (bird sanctuary trip), Tongariro Crossing trip, Taranaki trip...and a ton of other fun, outdoorsy type trips.
What's Next??
Since I have no more immediate short-term goal funds to fill out (how is that possible?), the interest I earn and the overages at the end of the month (should there be any) will go to beef up my Taxable Account, until I come up with new short-term goals. Hmmmm...excellent (Mr Burns'-style finger tenting).
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Holiday Break Recap
Life Recap: I had a lovely time while in the US, mostly.
I had a conference in California in December in an awesome city, and I had a fantastic time. I got to see so many of my best friends from grad school, met more people, and reconnected with people from previous conferences in my field. My presentation went very well--it was incredibly popular, to the point that I lost my voice from speaking to so many interested people. I made some great potential contacts if I were to continue with this project and make it into a PhD. I checked out my potential PhD supervisor by asking students that have worked with him before--all is great there. I ate out in awesome restaurants with my very best friends in the world on work's dime, which was as delicious as it was convenient (my first food request was a real American cheeseburger. Holy hell, I've missed those!). I met with some potential job-givers in the US, but they all had bad news to report. At least they know my face and intentions now.
I had to leave the conference a day early to attend my cousin's wedding back in my hometown. It was a nice affair, but work-intensive as my aunt did all the prep herself. I only helped for 2 days, but that was enough for me to be happy that I'm not planning a wedding anytime soon (if ever!).
After that, I did a lot of errand-running for my mom and dad. They gave me money and I went out and did all their Christmas shopping for them. I don't honestly remember what else I did other than shop before Christmas! I didn't work much or get anything accomplished...just decompressed from the crazy conference schedule (which involved hardly any sleep!).
We all had a lovely Christmas Eve--my mom prepared a big feast and we had my aunt, uncle, aunt's mom, two cousins, new cousin in law and his brother over. It was quite a large group for our small house. We went to my childhood church and I saw a lot of lovely people there. It was nice to catch up and the Xmas Eve service at that church is my favourite holiday tradition. I do feel really guilty for not attending church when I'm home, though. I am still a member and cherish the people that I grew up knowing, even though I don't believe most of what I learned growing up there.
We came back and ate some more and opened Christmas presents. It was a good time.
Christmas morning, my dad woke up in the worst mood I've ever seen him in. He completely ruined Christmas for all of us, saying he didn't care about any of it and didn't want to be there and some other unrepeatable, horrible things. My parents' fighting has gotten pretty intense and awful. Previously, my dad would at least try to be nice to my mom. Now he just antagonizes her and says incredibly mean things. I think he is mad at her for keeping him financially strapped for so long (his fault for going out and buying really expensive stuff on credit card when she was the only breadwinner, without asking her if it was OK to do so!). So Christmas morning was an awful affair. The worst part was that Dad had given me money to go purchase a specific replacement engagement ring for mom (he is too sick to leave the house most days), and I packaged it up in a cute way, with a heartfelt note from Dad. That cute, funny, touching gift was rendered completely meaningless by his actions and words that day.
So Christmas Day blew. But it least the days surrounding it were festive and cold outside, and I finally had a Christmas feast with a tree and presents underneath. It was wonderful to watch my family open the presents I had gotten for them.
And oh, the food!
For New Year's, I flew back out to the West Coast to my old city. It was BLISS! I am no fool, I tell you--I know how to pick places to live. It was heaven. I hung out with old friends, and had the best time on New Year's Eve and afterward. California is my dream state. I think I could live anywhere there and be satisfied. I also had the most delicious Mexican food I could have asked for.
I was delayed quite a bit on my flight to the West Coast and also back to Auckland, due to snow and the polar vortex hitting New Jersey. But my lovely credit card had given me United Club lounge passes as a bonus. It was pretty awesome to sit in there to wait, instead of out in the terminal. Also, I flew first class for the first time, also thanks to my cc bonus airmiles. It was just a domestic flight from the East Coast to the West, but it was OK. It was more like how it used to be before the airlines were strapped for cash, I think. One day I want to take a long-haul first class flight--I might actually get sleep on that!
And now I've been back in Auckland for almost a full week. It feels like I've been back forever though! Work is crazy and full force, as is my social calendar. I am loving running outside until 9 pm, too! I think I just went on my second date with Guy #1 this past week. It is still quite unclear what the heck is going on, but it is extremely fun times, whatever it is. Just know: Kiwi/British dating is totally weird to Americans. [Original post edited to pull out some details. Sorry! I got paranoid. :)]
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Forced into Moving House
So I found out today that my apartment may be getting sold--my lovely, perfect apartment. JUST when I was ready to commit to NZ and revamp my apartment to make it even more cozy and even more of my home.
It all depends on the appraisal, which is happening soon. I really think it will happen, as I think our downstairs neighbors are buying it and they already own the first two floors below us--it would be ideal for them to own all three floors and convert it into a nice, massive attached house.
I'm jealous.
I just don't have the funds to buy it off of my landlords right now. That said...here is the silver lining: maybe moving is OK. I did have in my 2014 goals to move to a place where I could have a garden to grow my own food and a dog...or at least access to a dog! That's right: one of my criteria for a new place will be that they already own a dog that I can pretend is mine sometimes. That will make me happy.
Other desired criteria: near U of Auckland, a bathtub, 2 other roommates or fewer, a secure parking spot, bonuses: furnished, gym, pool, tennis court.
This is all impossible with my budget.
If I do go for the PhD, my rent budget will have to decrease significantly. I could either go super cheap and just get the bare basics (and save money; I'll be working all the time) or live similar to how I am accustomed (might as well have a nice comfy home to relax in while not working). I will probably end up somewhere in the middle.
Either way, I will land on my feet. I always do!
It all depends on the appraisal, which is happening soon. I really think it will happen, as I think our downstairs neighbors are buying it and they already own the first two floors below us--it would be ideal for them to own all three floors and convert it into a nice, massive attached house.
I'm jealous.
I just don't have the funds to buy it off of my landlords right now. That said...here is the silver lining: maybe moving is OK. I did have in my 2014 goals to move to a place where I could have a garden to grow my own food and a dog...or at least access to a dog! That's right: one of my criteria for a new place will be that they already own a dog that I can pretend is mine sometimes. That will make me happy.
Other desired criteria: near U of Auckland, a bathtub, 2 other roommates or fewer, a secure parking spot, bonuses: furnished, gym, pool, tennis court.
This is all impossible with my budget.
If I do go for the PhD, my rent budget will have to decrease significantly. I could either go super cheap and just get the bare basics (and save money; I'll be working all the time) or live similar to how I am accustomed (might as well have a nice comfy home to relax in while not working). I will probably end up somewhere in the middle.
Either way, I will land on my feet. I always do!
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