November Round up

Where does the time GO?!  It feels like it was just last November...

This Nov. was a very easy month.  Somehow, I didn't spend as much as I usually do.  

Rent:  usual, $840 per mo.

Groceries:  Doing better here, 'only' $309.53.  Including supplies to make two batches of candied yams for various Thanksgiving celebrations (the first kumara went all moldy before I had a chance to cook them).

Internet:  $90.  I used the internet a lot this month while working from home, so I paid more than my half.

Electricity:  $72.30.  Going down for summer!!  :)

Eating Out:  $31.45.  Low this month...just wasn't in the mood for take-out, I guess.  Went to dinner with a friend one night and had fast food another day for lunch, and got a mini-pizza another day.

Charity:  $75. Over budget, but totally OK by me.  There were a lot of demands this month:  donate to friends' Movember campaigns, $10 Christmas raffle at work, and the Great Ape Race.

Cell Phone:  $25.  Top up Vodafone.  I cancelled my Skype top up because it was costing me too much money.

Medical:  $0.  Need to see the doc about my hayfever, though--the pills he prescribed don't work at all, and it is BAD out there!

Misc:  $398.81.  Breakdown as follows:

• Goods and Wants $285.21.  Bought some favorite american things from amazon for my parents to ship over for my Xmas present, as well as sparklers and several lotions and new toiletries to try!  And a few items for a costume I had to put together at the last minute.  :)
• Alcohol $24.  drinks with conference people after dinner.
• Transportation  $13.30.  $10 cab ride at 2:30 am one night, plus several bus trips
• Entertainment  $19.40.  Bought tix to see Harry Potter with friends!!  :)
• Gifts:  $56.90

Savings:  $340.  My normal contribution to long-term savings.

Income:  $3,310.58  (Normal monthly paychecks plus roommate's garage contributions.)

Left to save in short-term funds and Wish List Items:  $1,128.99

I Kinda Got A Dog...

My new roommate is SUCH a b*tch.

I don't know what my roommate is on.  She randomly adopted a dog on Monday as a surprise for her boyfriend.  Who does that?  and WTF?

We're not allowed to own a dog in our apartment.  She (the dog) sleeps over every night...and stays there during the day when roommate's BF has to work and can't take care of the dog.  Technically we don't have a dog...but in reality, it's the same.

I'm glad I actually like this surprise for once.  It doesn't bug me, in fact I adore pups--ROOMMATE IS SO LUCKY ABOUT THAT--but it would definitely bug my landlord.  So I guess I get the benefits without all the hassle or blame??

how cute is she?!  ...those ears!

Payment!!!

Roommate agreed to pay for the garage!!  Hallelujah.  I'm not sure what took so long.  I hate bugging people about that kind of thing...

And the joke's really on her for waiting so long, because I'm going to use the money to buy stuff for the apartment.  A Blender!  A veggie chopper!  Better knives!  decorative artwork!  a juicer? apple corer! a food processor?  and maybe even a maid cleaning!  :)

What kind of upgrades would you do to your household if you had a cool extra $80/mo?

2011 Financial Goals

I originally wanted 11 Goals for 2011, but I honestly can't think of that many!!  I have everything I need and more, and I think I will have explored the South Pacific to a satisfactory level once my trip to Oz is over.  There is always more to see and do, but I will have hit my checklist, and any more travel is just icing on the cake!

Goal 1:  Save $3K for 2012 US Trip.  I like to have money to travel before I actually travel.  This is an annual fund--I know I'm going to spend my vacation time overseas with my family each year, so the airfare expense is a given.  Next year I will probably schedule additional side-trips to see friends in Boston, DC, the beach, San Francisco, and possibly a stop-over in Hawaii--all funded by normal monthly surplus--with my main stop being at my parents' house on the mid-Atlantic East Coast.  They are all repeat trips to places I've been before, but I will have a place to sleep at every one, and I value my experiences with friends above seeing new places (although that is a close second, and seeing a new place with a friend is BEST!).

Goal 2:  Spend $4K Australia Fund on ...a trip to Australia!!  My friend is supposed to come in February.  I can't wait to snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef!

Goal 3:  Keep my $5K Family Trip to NZ intact.  They are supposed to visit me at roughly this time next year!  (God-willing)  My mom has never left the US, other than short day trips to border-towns in Canada and Mexico (and a 2 day trip to the Bahamas once), I am so excited to share this with her, it is basically her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to really experience life outside the US.

Goal 4:  Keep saving $340 or more toward my Long Term Goals each month.  These goals are $10K Europe Fund, $5K House Downpayment Fund, and a $5K Roth IRA Fund (for when I move back to the US).

Goal 5:  Continue contributing 2% of my income to the Kiwisaver to get the employer match.

Goal 6:  Look into Prosper.com and BonusBonds.

Goal 7:  Spend at least $50 per month on charity.

Goal 8:  TBD  England trip?

Goal 9:  TBD  mandatory medical, fitness and health-food spend (carpal tunnel, dentist, dermatologist, eye, thyroid specialist, chronic fatigue specialist, mitral valve prolapse syndrome, hypertension, gym, dance classes, farmer's markets, organic food, get blender, food preparation equipment on wish list)?

Goal 10:  TBD  mandatory mental health spend (yoga, pilates, meditation, therapy)?

Goal 11:  TBD  mandatory beauty-product and appearance (clothes, shoes, teeth whitening, skincare: organic products-- shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, exfoliator, face wash, makeup, body lotion, eye cream, night cream, spf face lotion, toothpaste, etc.), LASIK, microdermabrasion, permanent laser hair removal, jewelry, haircuts, tailoring) spend/fund?

Or perhaps a 'get everything on my wish list' fund?

How Much Do You Live Off Of Each Month?

I want to be able to comfortably live off of $30K a year or less (after taxes), forever.  It helps cut down on what I have to save for retirement, too.  I am very happy with this budget!  It shows, it hasn't changed significantly with my fluctuations in income and job change over the past 3 years.  I pretty much know what the ranges are for each category now, and when I am likely to splurge/save.  I've only become more of a saver as I see how much I can accumulate towards fun goals, like travel.

I was just curious as to how I stack up in terms of monthly expenses.  I am extremely good at spending less than I earn by this point (only took me ...ten? years to get here?!).  My monthly spend ranges from about $1,700 on the low end to ~$2,700 on the extreme high.  Most months it clocks in around $2,200, which is around 70% of my net income.  I know FB spends ~$1K a month (AWESOME JOB!!), but how much do you spend each month?  I know it will fluctuate based on cost of living, domestic situations, etc., but I was just wondering if my estimate is high, low, etc....?

Tedium

With all my careful tracking, I still can't seem to get a handle on my expenses and how much I can actually save each month.  While my budgeting sheet says that I can save over $3K in October, my actual bank balance does not reflect that.  I downgraded October's savings to $2500, otherwise I don't have enough to live off of for the next two weeks (I just got paid yesterday).

And I decided to scrap my 'Family EF'.  It is great and all, but in reality, all of my savings is a family EF.  If they were in a bind, all of it would be theirs.  I put the Family EF money into my Move back to US Fund, which is now 50% complete.  After this goal is filled, I am going to have to think long and hard about where my savings should be allocated.  Post on 2011 goals is forthcoming.

Speaking of goals, I wrote a post on Net Worth the other day, but blogger sometimes freaks out and labels my scheduled posts as 'drafts, ' so it didn't post as scheduled.  Oh well--that will post some other time.

Another Friday, Another Crash

Yeah.  BURNED out.  I can barely keep my eyes open at 8 pm.

The past two days have held major events at work of which I was responsible for organizing.  Things went off mostly without a hitch.  Thank Goodness.

I have a lot more work to do next week.  and then soon comes the Big Scary Talk.  And then after that I have two trips out of town planned.  (maybe)

I wanted very badly to go out for drinks after the event today to unwind and review the day's triumphs and mishaps, and went up and personally invited about 10 people and they all turned me down.  The problem with not often going out or doing social activities is that when you are in the mood, there's no one to do it with!

P.S. (ETA) I recently found out about a club that focuses on a major hobby of mine!  I hope to join them on one of their meetings in the next month to find out what they are like.  Should be right up my alley, and I am semi-acquainted with their group leader and definitely like at least one of their members so I'm not going into it alone.  :)

What is "Interim Interest"?

I am thinking of signing up for a 5 year CD with interim interest at Raboplus.  They offer an interest rate of 6.5% with a monthly deposit of interim interest, which is pretty dang good.  The thing is, they are paying that out every month, but how do they keep you from withdrawing the principle early?  I don't understand what 'interim interest' really is.  If you can pull it out any time, why wouldn't everyone just invest in the 5 year CD with interim interest and make 1.5% more annually?

I can't find this on their website anywhere so I'm pretty confused.

Now THAT'S My Kind of Gambling

Or, Saving While You Gamble?

I'm not allowed to directly link to the site according to their rules, but here's a wikipedia page about Bonus Bonds.  Apparently, New Zealand government has this trust that, as far as I can tell, acts like a lottery ticket except you get to keep the dollar that paid for the ticket.

You pay into the trust, the NZ government makes interest off of that money, and then awards cash prizes to various bond holders. You can win up to ONE MILLION dollars a month!  Here's the kicker:  winnings are TAX FREE.  That's nuts!

According to wiki, about 1.5 million New Zealanders own a Bonus Bond.  Approximately a quarter of a million prizes totaling $7.9 million are handed out each month in increments of $20 or more.  There's no guarantee of a win, but your bonds don't lose their value.  The S&P rating is the highest offered:  AAAf.

To me, that's like the best kind of gambling I've ever heard of.  I'd never use Bonus Bonds to actually save large chunks of money--there's no interest!  However, with the odds of winning at 1 in 9,600 to 14,000 each month, it sounds like a great way to have some of the fun of gambling without really losing any money--akin to kiva.org.  All you lose is a little bit of interest while gaining so much more.  What an ingenius idea!

Hulu Works!

OMG, I can watch Hulu in NZ again!  They'd blocked me back in 2008, but now it works again with HotSpot Shield!  :)  Yay american TV shows!

I had a dream last night that I went grocery shopping and they had all these American products that I miss.  I went crazy pulling them off of the shelves into my cart.  Talk about wish fulfillment...

I don't know who I'm kidding sometimes, living in NZ.  No offense to Kiwis, but I'm SO American, and love-hate it, it hurts!  Like I've always said, if I didn't have my current job (or if I could find something equivalent in the US), I'd be out of here already.  Trying to enjoy my time away and appreciate all that NZ has to offer in the meantime.  It gives me a new respect for all that the US has to offer, and it helps me realize all of the major faults of the US, too.

If You Can't Beat 'Em...Stop Playing Mini-Golf

I have a confession:  I have a teeny, tiny problem with jealousy and competition.  I am not happy to admit this, even on an anonymous blog, but it is a pattern that I am noticing more and more in myself, especially as I age.  When I let myself be, I'm extremely competitive.  This works well when I'm competing with myself, for example, to see if I can save more than $X this month, or if I want to run faster or do more pushups, etc.  I don't actively seek to compete with others, but where this becomes a problem is when I feel like other people are trying to compete with me.  My competitive hackles get up, and I go nuts.  [For some reason, mini-golf seems to bring this side out of every uber-competitive person that I know--it is a very weird phenomenon.  As a kid, I would get SO ANGRY and frustrated while playing mini-golf that I would cry, pitch a fit and refuse to continue the game if someone was solidly beating me.*]

In my daily life, I'm usually OK--I understand that I can't be the best at everything, and I've certainly had my fair share of ego-checks.  Lately, though, there are a few things that I can't seem to let go of.  Example:  one of my friends is a whole ten years younger than me.  She gets paid slightly more than me, but I have ten years and a Master's degree on her, and I have been with the company for almost 2 years longer.  We do basically the same job, but mine requires more of my specialized skills (earned through my ten years + degree).  Unfair?  Totally.

Now, she's a good little worker, she deserves most of that salary (not all of it--but most).  I feel that my experience and degree entitles me to a percentage more than she is paid, though.

I found out recently that she is a very competitive person.  She admitted it (along with a hate for mini-golf, as mentioned earlier).  I also found out earlier this year that she had figured out how much my salary was (I refuse to disclose this information to co-workers, but it is not hard to figure out since our project budgets are in the project files for all to see).  Others told me that she admittedly went to my bosses and asked for more than me, just to make more.  What?

One more example, on a mini-scale of the one I just gave:  we currently have a competition going on at work.  It's supposed to be a fun team activity, and she's on my team.  She is being uber competitive again, asking how much I've done each day, and then when our final tallies are in, she's always got a few more than me.  Again...team competition.  Normally I wouldn't care--if she were getting those numbers on her own, good for her, good for our team!  But it's this idea that she is using me as her personal barometer to beat that I can't stomach. It's like I was entered into a competition against my will.

This is driving me nuts.  I like her generally otherwise and she's basically my only friend in NZ, but I can't stand to hang out with her lately.  I feel constantly judged and like she's always trying to get an edge.  And I feel like I can't admit that to her because then she would have won that competition of wills, too, like, "I give up, you win.  You always beat me at everything, congratulations.".  Earlier this week, I found myself scheming of ways to compete back, or to have things that she doesn't have, just to have them, and it makes me ill to think that I'm doing this.  Ugh.  It is not a pretty trait to have, so I'm trying to think of ways to not care.  This is her bugaboo, it doesn't have to be my personal mini-golf game from hell, too.

[*I've since become a mature adult, capable of playing mini-golf without any tantrums.]

Burnt OUT

Man alive.  So my supervisor is back in town and met with me today to go over my Big Scary Talk.  About an hour after that was over, I crashed.  Hard.  It was like I'd been holding my breath and trying to make it until I could present it to her...like I just had to push myself as hard as I could until she saw and approved it.  Now, I'm more exhausted than I've been for the past month combined.  Somehow, my brain has given my body permission to stop working, catch up on sleep, and relax.  What is that?

In reality, though, I have a LOT more to do on the talk.  And I only have Mon-Wed of next week to work on it because from next Thursday until the talk, I'm booked with other work.  So, I get to go into work this weekend, yet again.

I'm trying to maintain some sort of work-life balance by making myself work out an hour a day and meet up with friends, but it isn't working.  All I want to do is sleep!  My mantra these days is 'Just make it to December 10.'  That is when all of my urgent deadlines for my projects are over.  Probably to be replaced with new ones, but...oh well!

In fact--I just remembered--I think I'm planning a trip down to Christchurch in December.  A friend's colleague invited me down to help out with some of the earthquake rebuilding they are doing.  The colleague would host me at their work AND I'd probably get to link up to a hazards team assessing the affects of the earthquake.  This is a fantastic opportunity for me, not only to network into a new field of research, but to feel an earthquake!  I've never ever felt one.  Christchurch is getting HAMMERED with earthquakes--they've had over 2500 aftershocks since the main jolt on Sept. 4!!  Daily, they are getting pretty big earthquakes...how exciting (but exhausting for them--I'd get to leave after a few days)!

Anyway, here's hoping that December is usually an easy month, what with Christmas break and all.

Sparkle sparkle Charlie!

Yay!  I just found sparklers in NZ.  They only sell fireworks for the FOUR days before Guy Fawkes' Day in New Zealand, and today was the first day of that sale.  I finally have sparklers to use on the 4th of July!  :)  Fun for camping, too...hmmm, maybe I'll buy more!

I didn't get to celebrate Halloween, because surprise, surprise, they don't celebrate it here.  :/  All I did was go over to my American friends' house and watch Disturbia while eating dinner.

In other news, I have a hot male model from the Philippines staying with me right now.  Unfortunately, he likes the men, but luckily, he is super nice and fun to hang out with!

I had an optical migraine today.  For those that don't know what that is, feel lucky.  I have felt awful all day long.

Also on the health front, my wrist is killing me--carpal tunnel.  I am on the computer 15 hours a day for work, though, and that can't change anytime soon.  I will def. have to have that surgery eventually.

My talk is...my talk.  I think I got out some of my anxiety with that post.

Keeping an eye on the US elections...I tried to absentee ballot but they sent it to the wrong address (again) and I didn't get the ballot in time.  I seriously think they rigged it that way on purpose.  Sly Republicans...

Sparkle! Sparkle!

Public Speaking

It's the number one fear.  I think I have some sort of disability, actually, in that the very mention of a talk by anyone makes my stomach flip over and initiates my flight or fight response--I immediately want to run and hide underneath my bed.  I worry that I have symptoms of avoidant personality disorder.

My boss mentioned the talk to me back in June--a public talk to over 600 people in a huge auditorium at a conference taking place in a few weeks.  This is a big deal.  Initially, I sort of brushed it off and thought (hoped) that my abstract wouldn't get accepted, or even better, they'd just downgrade me to a poster presentation due to the small time slot that the conference has and the volume of submissions they get.  Poster presentations are much easier to cope with--you just chat with whoever happens to stop at your poster while drinking beer or wine.  Sooo much less stress-inducing in comparison.

But I just got put on the talks list--they didn't get enough submissions for talks, so they are actually asking more people to present talks instead of posters this time.  Ugh.  Part of me wants to plan to be sick that day.  Or lose my voice.  Or something.  I wake up every day now and think, How am I going to do this? or alternately, I want to lose myself in a movie to take my mind off of it.  I can't just be still and quiet anymore--it's all consuming.


I was given direction by my boss to put together this talk last July, before I left for my 2 month vacation.  Did I work on it?  Kind of.  I slapped together an outline of the basics, and didn't touch it again until last week.

Why?  Because I am 100%, absolutely bat-faced crazy with fear.  The thought of it, which is always in the back of my mind, is bringing up every neuroses and procrastinating tool I have in my arsenal.  My brain is super-creative when I don't want to do something!  I am having serious nightmares about it, and it's over 3 weeks away.  How will I be when it is only a week, or a day, or God help me, 5 minutes away?!   I am going to be a quivering jelly, sweaty mess.  I won't be able to eat for days before.  Perhaps I should seek some help.  Does anyone have any Xanax I can borrow?

I've tried all the tricks:  visualizing doing well, practicing my opening 2 minutes til its memorized, etc.  I'm still really scared.  But I'll do it, I have to.  I have to let go, and just give in.  There's no fighting it, I have to be as prepared as I can be so I will feel better about it.  That makes sense, right?  Then why am I still trying to procrastinate??

Every other work task I have (including the poster for a different boss for the same conference) is done.  My rationale (ahem, excuse) was that I wanted to get the littler things out of the way so I could put my full concentration on the talk.  Well, it's 5 pm on a Saturday, the deadline to get it done is Monday, and I'm watching movies online.  And blogging.  Sigh.

The actual putting together of the talk is pretty easy--not the hard task I made it out to be.  And fun!  I like this kind of work.  I just don't like what the end-product means:  that I have to publicly speak to an audience of 600 people who will all judge my work.  And me.  And how good of a scientist I am.  This is an international conference, and if I want to get my PhD, or even get a job with the organization that I want in the US, I can't screw this up.  I can't.  At the same time, I know my skills enough to know that I will get through it, but I will be very obviously nervous and my voice will shake and I may put people to sleep and I may forget a few points because that is just how I do at talks.

In grad school, I took several classes where I had to give a presentation every week.  Every year, we all had to take a class on proper scientific talk techniques, and had to give a talk to the entire department--I took that class 4 times.  For my Master's degree, I had to give an hour-long oral defense of my project to roughly 60 people (one of my advisors fell asleep during it!).  So I've been down this road before--and know that even with weekly practice and annual instruction and review on how to give a good talk, I'm just not an excellent speaker.  I haven't given a talk in over a year (and that was to about 15 people), and before that, I hadn't given a talk in 5 years!   I'm definitely out of practice.  Shoot, I get anxious when I talk in a group of 3 or more people in a casual setting!

I'm also worried about the actual science of this talk.  My boss wanted me to do it, but I'm not convinced that the presentation adds anything new--a problem in science.  If I were a good speaker, I'd just make the presentation funny and fun with great pictures, but I'm not that kind of speaker.  I have to know that my subject matter is a good contribution, and that my knowledge of  it is solid.  I know neither in this case.  I don't think my boss really knows what's up sometimes.

In conclusion, I will get through this, but if I freak out in more posts, it is because thoughts of this are all-consuming.  I'm freaked out.  I mean:  600 people.  Me.  Freaked.