Last year--27 July, in fact--
I did one of the scariest things I've ever done (including several stints of public speaking) and let lasers cut into my eyes so that I could walk around without glasses or contacts.
Some Background
My first memory of hearing about LASIK/corrective eye surgery is of a Simpsons episode, where everyone that got the surgery goes blind in 10 years' time. I've never forgotten that episode, and thus started my fear of the procedure. I thought I'd never be able to make myself do it.
via GIPHY
As much as I wanted to be glasses and contact lens-free for hiking, camping, and in the rain, etc., I just couldn't get around the whole 'cutting into my eyes' thing. I tried everything else available: contact lenses that were designed to stay in your eyes various lengths, eye training books and exercises, and "braces for your eyes" aka
orthokeratology (where you wear hard contacts at night that reshape your corneas so you have perfect vision, and then nothing during the day). The Ortho-K lenses and procedure costs several thousands of dollars, and I had to get one of my lenses remade. I'd heard that some people only had to wear their lenses once a week or two weeks and I was hoping I was one of them. Unfortunately, I was not. My left eye was perfect--it held shape for several days without having to wear the lenses, but my right eye would start to degrade in the evening hours. It is highly possible that the Ortho-K experience started to wear out my lens focusing mechanism (this is why people need reading glasses when they get older). After you stop Ortho-K, your eyes are supposed to go back exactly how they were, but mine didn't. My vision improved by like 2 diopters. I went from -4.5 ish to -2.75 and -3 ish. Even 4-5 years later, when I finally decided I wanted LASIK, my vision hadn't gone back to where it was before.
Anyway, I got LASIK, and then stopped being able to see up close immediately. I used to be able to see the split ends on my hair, for example. That ability is LONG GONE. The eye doc said it was because my eyes were swollen and their shape would go to something more normal allowing me to see up close when they healed. But I kept going back to the LASIK eye doc long after my post-op check ups were supposed to end.
Because: my left eye healed well enough that I could read books pretty normally, but I still can't see the ends of my hair like I used to. My right eye never did go down, and I have had major issues reading anything. I get severe headaches when I'm on the computer or reading for any length of time (which is necessary during a PhD, not to mention the hour or so of reading I do before bed every night). I took to closing my right eye and buying all sort of reading glasses and popping out the left lens (which looks real professional in the office, let me tell you).
So I went back to the surgeon and didn't stop complaining. I was really hoping that they would say that I was still healing, etc., but they kept saying I had convergence deficiency and farsightedness came with old age and blah blah blah. In October, over a year after my surgery, they said I wasn't going to get better and I needed more surgery on my right eye to 'balance' out my vision more. I initially didn't want more surgery--it took so much for me to get in there in the first place--but I eventually relented after the headaches got worse. Last Friday, I had the surgery on my right eye again.
Cutting to the Chase
Pre-Surgery
During my pre-op consult, the doctor mentioned something about a "contact lens bandage," which I didn't have to do the first time. He was also slightly evasive about what would happen if my lens flap (cut the first time around) was completely healed up as it had been a year and 3 months since my first surgery. The optician I was talking to afterward also dropped some weird comments about a different procedure if the flap didn't open, and that caused me some worry. So I did some of my own reading and googling, and THAT IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA. Apparently, when the flap is healed (which it does between 1 - 3 or more years after surgery--crazy!) they can't cut a new flap and have to do a surface treatment like PRK
which apparently is more painful and much slower to heal--like up to a month of healing rather than a few days to a week with LASIK before you can get back to normal activities. So I totally freaked out, of course, because my first surgery was painful and it's almost summer and I have a lot of beach time planned!
Anyway, I was freaked out. I really didn't want to go forward with it the few days beforehand.
The Surgery
It was scheduled for around 10:15 am; I had to show up around 9:10 am. The pre-treatment was nearly the same as before: tylenol pain killers, anesthetic and other eye drops, cleaning the area with alcohol, bootie and hair covers, etc. This time I asked if anyone had ever sneezed or coughed in the operating room, and she said yes--the most important thing is that you tell the doctor if you know you need to do one of those things. This time, the one things that was majorly different was that I was taken into a different room so that the doctor could look at my right eye under the microscope, TAKE A MARKER (obviously a special marker) to MARK WHERE MY EYE FLAP IS. Just like the first surgery, I felt nothing and it didn't hurt. The doc said there was a chance the flap would be healed up and I'd need to come back for a different procedure (the PRK I read about, clearly).
They walked me to the operating room and I lay down on the operating table like last time, only this time I didn't get swung over to the left machine because the flap was already cut. I was swung over to the right machine and the machine was immediately lowered very quickly, freaking me out because I'm claustrophobic and it was all happening so fast. They covered my left eye with a patch so that I wasn't distracted by it, they taped my top and lower eyelashes down, and put in the retractor thing over my eye so that I couldn't blink. This is uncomfortable at first, but not painful at all. So I was looking at a green ball of light like last time--and the doc said to follow the green light wherever it moved as he took what looked like a very tiny sharp wedge shaped knife (cue me freaking out) and did...whatever he needed to do to pull my lens flap back. There was brushing, there were tools moving (steadily, confidently), there was STUFF happening, but I was distracted by following the green light as it streaked right first, then back to center, then left, and then it became a fuzzy ball of green light, like it was last time when my flap was pulled back. The doc said that the flap moved back easy! and I relaxed a little.
Then the laser made a noise, I smelled THAT SMELL again, and the actual corneal reshaping was over in milliseconds, maybe one second.
Then more brushing, flushing with fluids, etc as the flap was replaced back. Doc mentioned a 'haze' on my cornea, and ordered a 'contact lens bandage,' which was placed over my eye. It immediately felt better and almost nice even. The retraction was removed.
And then the WORST PART OF ALL: they pulled the tape off my top and lower eyelashes. Honestly, people, tape being pulled off of delicate facial skin and hair is the most painful and worst part of these surgeries.
Then they put another piece of tape over my eye and taped it shut. They took me to the recovery room, where there was tea and water and Hershey kisses and a nice easy chair. I was almost immediately on my phone, taking selfies and texting my mom and dad that I was OK. That happened at 10:34 am, so the surgery happened very quickly!
I went home and anticipated the pain and fatigue from the first time around, but it never happened. I took one of the diazepams they gave me and fell asleep until my post-op appointment at 4 pm that day.
I probably went back to texting and watching tv way too soon. I just felt...fine. On Monday, I had another appointment to get the contact lens bandage removed. It was good because it was feeling quite dry and irritating to have it in there. They numbed my eye again and told me to look left while they used forceps (!) to remove it. My eye felt weird afterward but somewhat relieved.
Now, 4 days later, my eyes are dry and my 10 eye drops a day regimen, 4-6x a day for each of the two meds, plus lubricating drops, and I am not sure if the surgery worked yet. I *think* that I can see up close better, but my vision is hazy, cloudy, and blurry. I hope I didn't improve my reading vision in my right eye and compromise my distance vision!
We'll see. My next post op appointment is on Friday, a week after the surgery. I've taken the week off of work to recover, so I am not forced to stare at a computer all day yet.
Podcasts and audiobook recommendations are welcome! I like non-fiction story-telling ones like The Habitat, The Dream, Serial, S-Town, but fiction ones are great ones too.
