Weekly 2020 Goal Check In: Week 3

For the week 20 - 26 Jan


Main Goals

1. Go to the office every work day. 

DONE!!!!! I physically visited my office every day Monday - Friday. And, for reasons I will explain below, I am going in today (Sunday).

But it is never that simple, is it? When I compare my productivity the last two weeks to this week, it went WAY DOWN.

When I came up with this goal, I thought that if I just went in to the office I'd get stuff done because I wouldn't have any distractions and wouldn't want to waste the commute. But no. It turns out being present in the office doesn't mean I actually get anything done.

On Monday and Tuesday, I had my normal schedule of going to my work out class then staying in the office til midnight. Tons got done. But then I got it in my head to change up my schedule, and try to shift it earlier. I needed to go into the office earlier than I have been for some labwork (the labs close early, can't do labwork in the evenings), and I wanted to see if I could go home early and enjoy the beautiful, hot, sunny summer weather we are having. So I went home early on Weds night to try to prepare my body/brain to wake up earlier.

What ended up happening? My brain stayed whirring and awake all night like it had been, of course, I lost hours of productivity, and I ended up sleeping through all my alarms and not getting ANY labwork done because the labs were nearly shut by the time I made it into the office Thurs. I couldn't stay late Thurs because I go pick up my groceries and do errands while the Cityhop car is 60% off the usual rate on Thurs evenings. Fri I had social obligations in the evening and stayed home during the day to avoid my dumb co supervisor, who is being a huge pain again. I knew I'd get roped into doing something for him that would make my productivity on my actual work plummet if he tracked me down. This means that this week, Weds - Fri, not as much work got done. I have been so annoyed with myself.

However--technically, I did physically visit my office every day. Sometimes that visit was 5 minutes long, but I did my commute walk and was in my office every day. It is a start. The alternative viewpoint will just discourage any progress I could make. Therefore, I choose to take this as a win for this goal instead of beating myself up. Yay me!


I will make a note to examine this more, this productivity vs practical schedule thing. So far, every time I try to adjust my sleep schedule earlier, I fail miserably. Maybe I need to accept that while/when I can, I need to be at work when my brain/body feels like it can do its best. I am a night owl. This is how it is. During grad school, I am in the unique position of being able to work whenever I want, instead of 9-5. Maybe I should just be taking advantage of it instead of constantly beating myself up.


Next week, I aim to continue this trend! Well, except for Monday. Monday is a holiday and I am not even allowed to be in the office (there is a music festival happening next to campus and we are actually FENCED OUT of campus altogether--we would have to make an argument to the administration that we are doing urgent work, get approved, and then be escorted in and out of our offices. Too much work). To make up for this, I am swapping my Sundays and Monday schedule and going into work on Sunday and doing my normal Sunday activities on Monday. So actually I am going to the office 6 days this week!


2. Make a plan to exercise every day, whether this happens or not.

ANOTHER WIN! (Crowd roars) I actually worked out 4x this week, making it to each of the exercise classes I had planned to go to (Monday - Thursday). I found a new class I liked for Mondays. The new Weds class wasn't as great, but I think I'll continue to go.

I had social plans at the same time as the class I like on Fridays, so knew I wasn't going on that day.

Unfortunately, the gym I go to is moving this weekend to another building that is a ~15 min walk from work and a ~15 min walk from home--currently the gym is next to my work building and I can get there in two minutes from my office. This may keep me from continuing to work out as much, but I will try to not let it.

But if I can, the next step will be to find several other work out options that I like* that aren't tied to the gym, weather conditions, and are outside of my preferred work out class hours, so that I always have fun options when I can't make it to the gym, it is horrible out, or I can't make my work out class for other reasons.

*this is key to getting me to keep working out

Next week the work out classes are in the new place. Monday's class is canceled due to the holiday, but I plan to: bike or walk to the beach and back on Monday during the holiday; and attend my Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday work out classes at the new gym.

I also will keep my Enso Retreat break software on, and keep taking breaks while sitting at the computer, while at home or at work. Moving around more is the goal!

Quick Check In About My Goals. Are they Useful? Concerns: 

• Can I do 5 days in a row of working out plus 5 days of productive office-going? Part of the reason I cut out early on Weds was because I was exhausted from doing everything I was "supposed to do" Mon - Tues. I still have some worries that my brain/body cannot handle the goals I have assigned to it. Therefore Weds, Thurs, Fri this past week ended up being mainly gym-going days and productivity at work sank to low levels. I need to able to work out AND be productive, as well as everything else I have to do each and every day (eat healthy, take breaks, take care of my surgery'd eyes, take care of my eczema, laundry, dishes, on and on and on). If I have to choose between the two, the working out will have to go--I can't afford to lose more work productivity time with the major deadlines coming up (I'd push them back but other, very important people have cleared their busy schedules for me; I literally just HAVE to be ready so that their time isn't wasted). Maybe I can work up to it, build some habits? Only time will tell.

Other Aspirations: Wins and Losses

• Food planning: check! Financial tracking,: check! Vitamins portioned out: check! Bare minimum personal and household maintenance tasks: check!
• Menu for this week: cooked/prepped! 
• Breakfast: veggie, ham or bacon, cheese omelettes with spirulina smoothie
• Lunches: chicken + veggie tortellini and peas w/ sauce x 2; leftovers (options: chicken veggie fried rice x 1; Thai yellow curry chicken with veggies and rice (x 3); chicken tortilla pasta soup x 1)
• Dinner: A small piece of flat iron steak, roast potatoes, corn on the cob
• snacks: strawberries, dark chocolate, water crackers with pepper dip, gouda and shaved honey ham slices
   
• Menu planning for next week done. I'm planning on getting my groceries delivered due to time constraints.
• Breakfast: sandwich thin (and butter), poached egg, and spirulina smoothie OR cereal and fruit OR fruit smoothie (banana, strawbs, and bluebs (frozen) + milk + chia seeds + ground flax + peanut butter)
• Lunch:  mini pizzas: use leftover pesto, veggie mix (mushrooms, pepper, zuke), cheese, pizza sauce, meat (frozen pepperoni or roast chicken pieces)
• Dinners: they are completely out of turkey mince in Auckland so I will have to make do with a roast chicken and leftovers (mojito lime chicken breasts (x 2), turkey meatloaf (x 1) and Greek meatballs w/ tatziki (x 2)) for meat. I'll also have leftover mashed potatoes, roast kumara and pepper mix, or kumara fries and southern style green beans as my starch and veg, respectively.
• My taxes are almost done! I need to look them over, print them out, sign the bottom, find the address, find envelopes and stamps, etc., but the bulk of the work for my state and fed returns is done. I still find them kind of fun. I hope to send off the paper copies of the state and fed tax forms and excel spreadsheet to the right places this week (e-filing actual tax forms is a complete nightmare from overseas). I also completed the FBAR and e-filed that.
• Next weekend will be a social one: I've promised to go with a friend to the botanical gardens, and I have another friend leaving for sabbatical for a year, so hope to see him before he goes. Since I am also trying to get more work done, and want to free up my Thursday evenings for fun summer activities, I am going to opt for grocery delivery next week.
• I have continued my Duolingo streak for 29 days--I'm trying to get to 30 days in a row to get the special badge. :) So close!
• Speaking of so close---yo, I'm getting really excited for the end of the month. I will have completed my $50K House Down Payment Fund, a decade in the making! PARTY TIME!!
• Either all the oil in the pesto this week, or working out and not showering immediately has caused my face to break out (it has never done so before). I will make an effort to wash my face immediately after every work out.
• Still waiting to feel cute enough to take a photo for my passport renewal. Those breakouts aren't helping!
• The Kmart refund for the returned bike was completed. They took $30 out for shipping (even though that is what caused the problem). I am too tired to fight it.
• The steroid saga is over for now. I can't fight it and keep up with the rest of my life right now. It was fine and I could handle the suffering when I was at home over Christmas break, but other stuff is too overwhelming right now. So--I'm back on the cream, but using it less frequently. Next doc appt--I'll ask for lower strength cream and keep cutting back.
• I'm starting to think about my trip home in March. I need to get my eye appointment made and done so that I have a prescription for new reading glasses, and have time to order from Zenni before I arrive home. My shorter trip this time will prevent me from doing my normal online ordering thing.
• I am feeling more certain about moving back to the US in a few months. If my dad decides to stop chemo, it will be definite. I need to talk to my boss about this possibility so we can make back up plans for handover of my job responsibilities.
  
  My plan is to stay part-time with my PhD and ask for an hourly contract for my current part-time job of project managing. That way, I can help when needed--I am the only one that knows how to do a lot of tasks, and I'm not gonna work for free when the new person comes running to me for help! So--I'll move home, still be making enough money to support myself (the bulk of it will likely go to health insurance. Mom and Dad refuse to charge me rent but I'll be contributing to the household in many other ways) and I will have the ability to make a few more bucks here and there.
  
  If all goes well, I'll write up my PhD part time and care take my family part-time. I'm going home in March and am going to test how this split goes, buy everything for a home office, etc.

Weekly 2020 Goal Check In Week 2

Week 2 Update! For the week 12 - 19 Jan


Main Goals

1. Go to the office every day.

I got a C- or D this week--I missed going in on Tuesday and only went in on Thursday to work out. I blame the two doctor appointments I had this week which broke up my schedule and routine. I meant to go in on Saturday to make up for Tuesday but couldn't bring myself to do it, plus I woke up quite late in the day and needed to cook for the week and do various errands...

*Deep breaths* Therapy taught me to wipe the slate clean, forgive myself for my mistakes, and move on so my negative thoughts don't sabotage me from changing for the better. Going into the office 5x/week may be a bit of a stretch for me given that I've gotten into the routine of staying home several days a week over the past few years. I'll keep trying. Even if trying for 5x a week means I go in more days than I used to, I still need to consider it a win. I fought with myself on Friday about going in or not, and my tenacity won in the end. I do need to start recognizing and patting myself on the back for the effort I put in, rather than the end results/times I don't think I live up to my potential (see: growth mindset vs fixed mindset--reward effort, not the grades).

 
2. Make a plan to exercise every day, whether this happens or not (this usually gets done during my weekly planning).

A decent C here. I had two doctor's appointments this week that broke up my routine and made it difficult to go to my preferred work out classes on Tues or Weds. I went to classes Thursday and Friday, though, and feel satisfactorily sore from them. I walked to/from work every day except for Tuesday, but walked the 30 mins to my social engagement on Tuesday.

Next week I will plan to go to my Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday classes. I have plans during my Fri class already. I will walk to/from work every day as well.




Other Aspirations: Wins and Losses

• This week I did my food planning and financial tracking, portioned out my vitamins for the week, and did other bare minimum personal and household maintenance tasks. I have cooked for next week: pesto chicken with zucchini noodles, cherry tomatoes, red and yellow peppers, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob. That is for dinner. Lunches will be leftovers: I have a lot in my freezer! Leftover fajitas (x 3), thai yellow curry chicken with veggies and rice (x 3), mojito lime chicken breasts (x 2), and meatballs (x 2). Love it!
  
• I've meal planned for next week: flat iron steak (a VERY rare red meat week), roast potatoes, and corn on the cob. lunches are tortellini with peas and sauce. breakfasts are veggie ham cheese omelettes. I've booked the car and put all the grocery items in the online basket, ready to hit order when I am certain I don't need to add anything else for next week's menu or household items.

• I backed up my new laptop with my older, smaller, external HD because the external HD I bought is a scam and doesn't work properly. I've researched potential HDs to get instead when I am home in March. Gosh I hate being duped!

• I have continued my Duolingo streak of 22 days--I'm trying to get to 30 days in a row to get the special badge. :)

• I arranged to have the stupid bike I bought from Kmart in early Dec to be returned to the store because it got lost in the mail and now I won't be at home to collect it when it gets delivered (I was hoping it would arrive during the 2.5 weeks while I wasn't allowed in the office over the holidays). Such a hassle sorting this out!!! Kmart still hasn't refunded me my money, either, so by next weekend I need to chase them up with phone calls. If they don't comply, I am lodging a dispute for the charge on my credit card.

• I found someone with a Kiwi passport that is willing to vouch for me and give me their personal details so I can apply for a passport renewal! I only have the photo and payment portions of the process left. I am waiting until I feel cute again to take a photo--this may be a while :)

• I had a think about my health insurance in the US. My plan is to go to all the docs over the next few months and get thoroughly checked out before potentially moving to the US in...June? When my apartment lease is up. I want to make an optometrist appt (for reading glasses prescription, help with dry eyes from LASIK), a new therapist, a dermatologist appt (for wrinkles, eczema and this steroid cream withdrawal issue), a physio appt (everything HURTS), and get my hypothyroid and blood levels checked out, along with the usual lady stuff with my normal doctor. I am still on the fence about moving home, but it is time to get a big check up anyway.

• Tuesday I went to my LASIK eye surgeon appt. Basically, my reading vision keeps getting worse while my distance vision is good--the LASIK messed up my right eye's ability to focus and I have a convergence insufficiency. I have basically worn out the focusing ability of the lens in my right eye. Some of this was caused by me taking off my normal glasses to read and do computer work, pre-LASIK. No one told me this was a bad thing to do?? I got some exercises to do.

• Weds I had a dentist appointment and got a cleaning. The tooth I was worried about having a cavity is fine, and I am probably grinding my teeth at night because of my stress, and it is causing some soreness sometimes. The dental assistant said that everything looks great, and my efforts to floss more are working well!

• My skin has started to (I think) heal up from the potential steroid cream withdrawal I put it through. At least, it isn't burning as badly, isn't quite as swollen, and the flare ups for some of the patches only happens sporadically. I think taking shorter, cooler showers (yay summer!) is also helping. I've allowed myself one bath a week max because...it is one of the main ways I've learned to soothe my anxieties. I need to come up with other coping mechanisms.
  
  I am still lathering on moisturizing lotion like crazy. This week I'll try to drink more water and stay hydrated, as well. I have been adding BioSil drops to my green smoothie once a day, and I'll try upping that to twice a day as directed on the label to see if that helps improve my skin. Probiotics apparently are supposed to help with eczema, so I'll look into those as well.
  
• Next week I need to start thinking of filing my US taxes. It creeps up on me too fast these days, and last year I made such a huge mistake on my Fed taxes that my state thought I owed them thousands of dollars and sent me several invoices/bills.

Weekly Goal Check In

What better way to stay accountable than to report my progress on my goals here every week, eh?


Main Goals
1. Go to the office every day.


I did OK this week--I missed going in on Friday but went in on Saturday to make up for it.

 
2. Make a plan to exercise every day, whether this happens or not (this usually gets done during my weekly planning).


I made it to my Tuesday class this week, but the gym was closed the rest of the week for renovations. I walked to and from work every day except Friday (but did so on Saturday). It feel great to get moving again in class on Tuesday. Next week I will plan on going to the Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, and Friday classes, as well as walking to and from work every day, to my dentist appointment on Wednesday, and potentially a longer 30 min walk to and from a social event I have on Tuesday evening. Today (Saturday), in preparation, I delivered everything I need for lunches and 1.5 sets of workout clothes to the office.


Other Aspirations: Wins and Losses

• This week I did my food planning, financial tracking, and backed up my home laptop. It turns out the external HD I bought is a scam and doesn't work properly, so I will need to try to back up again using my old, smaller GB, external HD.

• I also am on a Duolingo streak of 15 days--I'm trying to get to 30 days in a row.

• I renewed my annual renter's insurance policy and confirmed that I could get refunded if I end up moving to the US.

• I started my passport renewal--it expires soon and I didn't even notice!! Every 5 years is too often! I also realized that I barely know anyone with an NZ passport--which they require as a referee. That is sad--11 years here and I can think of just 1-2 Kiwis that I'd feel comfortable enough asking for all their identifying info (birthday, passport #, etc.).

• I had a think about my health insurance in the US. I would probably have to give up residency in NZ (and all the annual tax benefits in both countries) if I tried for Medicaid in the US. I think that would trigger some things I don't want to deal with, so I think I will need to start with 6 month emergency insurance and see how my life plays out til December before I "officially" give up NZ residency on Jan 1 (if it looks like I'm going to remain in the US indefinitely). I will need to go to the doc before I move, get everything checked out really well, and stock up on meds. US Americans--you have no idea how horrible you have it. This is the one thing I am DREADING having to deal with if I move back to the US, and I have seriously thought about just staying in NZ for this reason alone.

• After reading about the horrible effects, I started weaning myself off of topical steroids, to see how my body reacts. I've been on them for decades now, and I think I started having withdrawal symptoms after only a day or two quitting the steroid creams. No joke, my skin is C R A W L I N G. Everywhere I had previously applied the creams has swollen and broken out in a terrible, burning rash that is somehow simultaneously peeling and weeping. It burns to put on normal lotion. I think I may have withdrawal syndrome--it is hard to tell because it could just be my eczema flaring up. At this point it isn't an all-over body thing like I keep reading about--it is restricted to localized areas, though these seem to be spreading a little bit (e.g. the eczema/ treatment area went from the last joint of my pinkie upward, to a rash that has now spread  down to where my pinkie meets my hand). I'm going to try to make do with just intense, non-steroidal moisturizers for the next month and see how things play out. I've also been showering less frequently in mostly luke-warm water instead of taking hours-long baths in scalding water to see if that helps (I read that water exposure is one trigger for eczema). The steroids are the only medication I am on, and I would like to not be on anything, esp if it is making my skin worse instead of better, esp if I anticipate not having access to regular medical care in the US.