I went shopping today in the Boxing Day sales for a new pair of hiking boots for my trip next weekend. My old pair, now 5 years old, are literally coming apart at the seams and are definitely not waterproof anymore. Also, they caused my toenails to fall off when hiking the Tongariro Crossing last year for work. For short, dry day hikes, they'll be OK--for anything else, such as my for my fieldwork, they will not. And no, work does not pay for hiking boots even though it is a necessity for all of my fieldwork (I normally spend roughly a month a year or more doing fieldwork).
So. I am a broken record when it comes to shopping in NZ, or how people do anything in NZ, in general. Hiking gear here is very very expensive. The pair of boots I liked the most is $250 NZD on sale; the same pair of boots in the US is ~$100 USD. Also, if I buy in the US (from REI), I can take the boots out for a spin and if I hate them or they fit weird or fall apart, I can exchange them for a different pair, no problem (REI is very expensive but you gotta love that policy!). At Bivouac, where they sell the shoes here, there is no such promise. I'd have to wear the shoes only around the house and decide whether or not to risk taking them out on an 8-10 hour hike. There is a huge difference between wearing shoes indoors for a couple of hours vs wearing them on a steep rocky hike for 8 hours...and $250 is a lot of money to part with for such a gamble.
I came home and looked at the reviews of the boots, too. They are decent boots, but I have some concerns about durability and waterproofing. For that kind of money, I need to know that they will last a loooong time AND be extremely waterproof. For the record, my old boots were REI brand, $50 on clearance, and have lasted 5 years, traversing terrain as varied as glaciers to hours-old lava flows, before falling apart. (I think the toenail falling off thing was my fault for not wearing extra sock layers.) I guess REI doesn't make women's boots anymore because I'd just buy a similar pair to the ones I have if I could find them...
I just need to hop over to the US for a day and get all of this stuff. That's it--just one day! I could bring back everything that I need for the next year. I really wish the US hadn't spoiled me so much; I could just buy things without a second thought because I wouldn't know any differently!
So I guess I am not buying the boots that I desperately need in NZ. I'm either ponying up the $60 international shipping fee for REI or I'm making do until this summer, when I go home again and can shop for real. ...unless I get desperate and need boots RIGHT AWAY. Which is also a huge possibility.
Ah, indecision...
[NZ-ers: Kathmandu, Bivouac, is there anywhere else that would sell woman's hiking boots that I should check out? I am really wanting to buy Asolo's but can't seem to find them anywhere here.]
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
The Real Reason I Don't Go Home for Christmas
I haven't been home for Christmas for 2 years now. This is practically unheard of--I hadn't missed a Christmas with my family in 30 years--my entire life--up until that point. I was thinking about why I don't go home anymore today, and realized that I had nearly forgotten the real reason I stopped going home for Christmas. Aside from the cost ($3K), and time commitment (at least two weeks of precious NZ summertime and time off from work), the real reason I swore never to come home for Xmas again was this incident.
I'm so happy that I have almost forgotten that experience, and what it means that I forgot. It really was one of the worst of my life, to have someone I love so much think that I was so threatening or dangerous to her that she needed protection from me. And I'm sure it was a low point for her, as well. The fact that I've almost forgotten also means that my sister has been doing well for quite some time now, and I haven't had to write any sad posts about her for a long time. This period of sanity is the longest she's had since she got sick at 20 years old in 2001. Before, she would be OK for about 6 to 8 months, and then BAM, hospitalized again, for at least 3 months and at the longest, 8 months. Her bipolar episodes used to reoccur every April (there is a trigger event then in her past), but it at least skipped last year.
I'm also happy to report that emotionally, she is doing well. She still lets people take advantage of her kindness, and is working on that. She's taking her meds and has been through the program that she was accepted to last year. She is still on disability, and is living in the 'independent apartment' section of the program that she is in--the top level that you can get to--and has a (crazy) roommate (welcome to the club, eh?). She also has a small part time job helping out around their facilities, getting new people settled into and comfortable in the program. She's also taking one college class at a time at a local community college, paid for by a federal Pell Grant, and wants to further her associate's degree with a bachelor's degree in sociology, probably. She's still kind of all over the place with what she wants her major to be, and she still needs help with her classes--she has a note-taker to help her, because she has ADD and some other learning disabilities. She also has a long-term boyfriend, one who is also in the program and lives next door, and he seems very kind to her. She has a $45 hospital bill she is slowly paying down, as well as a credit card bill >$1K that my mom paid and she is repaying my mom for. She also, very cutely, has a 'NZ Fund' that she puts $5 into every once in a while. I think that is up to ~$100 now.
I'm so grateful for all of that. It seems that, while slowly, she is getting her life headed in the direction she wants it to go. It's nice that she finally has some control over that!
She still has some struggles, though. She lamented that she doesn't have any friends there anymore just last night. I think this is because she is doing so much better than most of those other people, emotionally, but still the outside world, the 'normally ill' (vs mentally ill) people, as she calls them, don't accept her because she's not quite there yet and because of the HUGE stigma on mentally ill people--all of her friends from her past (which were also my friends, in most cases) have abandoned her because of the things she said and did when she was ill. They take it so far, in fact, that they won't even friend me on facebook because they just don't want to be associated with her. So she's in a weird limbo position between sane and 'never-been-in-a-mental-hospital' and those that frequently go.
Also, she weighs 300+ pounds and has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. This scares the bejesus out of me. It has been 6 months since the diagnosis, and she has not lost ANY weight, despite claims that she's trying or that she really is scared of losing her eyesight and/or limbs. This is my biggest concern for her right now. I keep telling her that all I want for Christmas and my birthday is for her to be healthier and be able to keep up with me and my mom next Christmas when they come to NZ. She just is eating badly, not working out, and it shows. Her idea of 'trying' is to ride the stationary bike for 5 minutes and then 'reward' herself with a donut. Grrr. I don't want to nag her but this is really important.
As for me, well, there are many times when I ashamedly get jealous when I see siblings together, acting like she and I used to act, before she got sick. Or when a friend or acquaintance talks about their brother or sister who is doing something awesome, like traveling the world or having a great job and how they are going to take a vacation together, and brag about how great they get along. I AM VERY proud of my sister and her progress and her willingness just to get up and try over and over again in the face of huge odds, but 'staying out of the mental hospital' isn't something that most people brag about or want to hear when you are making casual, get-to-know-you chitchat. That part is awkward, and I HATE hearing the question, "What does your sister do?" because it puts me in a really awkward position. Either I do what I want to do--gently tell the truth--and make them feel awkward and kill the conversation (there is NO way to couch mental illness--believe me, I've tried--and it inevitably ends with changing the subject quickly or them leaving), or I lie or gloss over the truth to make them feel comfortable, which makes me uncomfortable because I usually make her sound like she's a fly-by-night F-up because she doesn't have her degree and doesn't have a normal job that I can talk about and still lives back home close to my parents. I hang out with mostly academic people, so those are the first things they ask about--what degree does your sister have, what job does she have and where does she live? Most of their siblings are PhD's living in the Congo studying bonobos or whatnot. It's difficult for me, but in comparison with her struggles, I know that sounds petty and I feel guilty even complaining about it most of the time, so I don't--well, just on this blog. I've voluntarily told one person in NZ about her, and I've had to tell one of my bosses about my family situation because she was asking about my future plans for my career.
All in all, I'm so, so grateful that she is doing well this Christmas! I'm so proud of her and so incredibly blessed that she is in my life. I've learned so much from her about perseverance and attitude and happiness. I hope it continues and that we have a fantastic time next Christmas when she comes to visit me in NZ!!
Merry Christmas Eve, all!
I'm so happy that I have almost forgotten that experience, and what it means that I forgot. It really was one of the worst of my life, to have someone I love so much think that I was so threatening or dangerous to her that she needed protection from me. And I'm sure it was a low point for her, as well. The fact that I've almost forgotten also means that my sister has been doing well for quite some time now, and I haven't had to write any sad posts about her for a long time. This period of sanity is the longest she's had since she got sick at 20 years old in 2001. Before, she would be OK for about 6 to 8 months, and then BAM, hospitalized again, for at least 3 months and at the longest, 8 months. Her bipolar episodes used to reoccur every April (there is a trigger event then in her past), but it at least skipped last year.
I'm also happy to report that emotionally, she is doing well. She still lets people take advantage of her kindness, and is working on that. She's taking her meds and has been through the program that she was accepted to last year. She is still on disability, and is living in the 'independent apartment' section of the program that she is in--the top level that you can get to--and has a (crazy) roommate (welcome to the club, eh?). She also has a small part time job helping out around their facilities, getting new people settled into and comfortable in the program. She's also taking one college class at a time at a local community college, paid for by a federal Pell Grant, and wants to further her associate's degree with a bachelor's degree in sociology, probably. She's still kind of all over the place with what she wants her major to be, and she still needs help with her classes--she has a note-taker to help her, because she has ADD and some other learning disabilities. She also has a long-term boyfriend, one who is also in the program and lives next door, and he seems very kind to her. She has a $45 hospital bill she is slowly paying down, as well as a credit card bill >$1K that my mom paid and she is repaying my mom for. She also, very cutely, has a 'NZ Fund' that she puts $5 into every once in a while. I think that is up to ~$100 now.
I'm so grateful for all of that. It seems that, while slowly, she is getting her life headed in the direction she wants it to go. It's nice that she finally has some control over that!
She still has some struggles, though. She lamented that she doesn't have any friends there anymore just last night. I think this is because she is doing so much better than most of those other people, emotionally, but still the outside world, the 'normally ill' (vs mentally ill) people, as she calls them, don't accept her because she's not quite there yet and because of the HUGE stigma on mentally ill people--all of her friends from her past (which were also my friends, in most cases) have abandoned her because of the things she said and did when she was ill. They take it so far, in fact, that they won't even friend me on facebook because they just don't want to be associated with her. So she's in a weird limbo position between sane and 'never-been-in-a-mental-hospital' and those that frequently go.
Also, she weighs 300+ pounds and has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. This scares the bejesus out of me. It has been 6 months since the diagnosis, and she has not lost ANY weight, despite claims that she's trying or that she really is scared of losing her eyesight and/or limbs. This is my biggest concern for her right now. I keep telling her that all I want for Christmas and my birthday is for her to be healthier and be able to keep up with me and my mom next Christmas when they come to NZ. She just is eating badly, not working out, and it shows. Her idea of 'trying' is to ride the stationary bike for 5 minutes and then 'reward' herself with a donut. Grrr. I don't want to nag her but this is really important.
As for me, well, there are many times when I ashamedly get jealous when I see siblings together, acting like she and I used to act, before she got sick. Or when a friend or acquaintance talks about their brother or sister who is doing something awesome, like traveling the world or having a great job and how they are going to take a vacation together, and brag about how great they get along. I AM VERY proud of my sister and her progress and her willingness just to get up and try over and over again in the face of huge odds, but 'staying out of the mental hospital' isn't something that most people brag about or want to hear when you are making casual, get-to-know-you chitchat. That part is awkward, and I HATE hearing the question, "What does your sister do?" because it puts me in a really awkward position. Either I do what I want to do--gently tell the truth--and make them feel awkward and kill the conversation (there is NO way to couch mental illness--believe me, I've tried--and it inevitably ends with changing the subject quickly or them leaving), or I lie or gloss over the truth to make them feel comfortable, which makes me uncomfortable because I usually make her sound like she's a fly-by-night F-up because she doesn't have her degree and doesn't have a normal job that I can talk about and still lives back home close to my parents. I hang out with mostly academic people, so those are the first things they ask about--what degree does your sister have, what job does she have and where does she live? Most of their siblings are PhD's living in the Congo studying bonobos or whatnot. It's difficult for me, but in comparison with her struggles, I know that sounds petty and I feel guilty even complaining about it most of the time, so I don't--well, just on this blog. I've voluntarily told one person in NZ about her, and I've had to tell one of my bosses about my family situation because she was asking about my future plans for my career.
All in all, I'm so, so grateful that she is doing well this Christmas! I'm so proud of her and so incredibly blessed that she is in my life. I've learned so much from her about perseverance and attitude and happiness. I hope it continues and that we have a fantastic time next Christmas when she comes to visit me in NZ!!
Merry Christmas Eve, all!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Fiji
Hmmm, maybe not Fiji so much. Round trip tickets cost $750 NZD right now, and I only saved $4K to spend on an Australia trip. Australian dollars are worth nearly the same as American dollars right now, which means that my NZD are worth less than 3/4 of what they are here in NZ, AND probably less than that because I've heard that Australia is MUCH more expensive than even NZ!
What is a good estimate per day for Australia? We'll stay in hostels, fly between cities, do PB&J sandwiches whenever possible, and do the normal Whitsunday island sail, koala cuddling, etc. I want to skimp on food and accommodation wherever possible but not lose any of the fun entertaining activities! Think an itinerary of the following: Auckland-Melbourne-Brisbane-Whitsunday-Cairns-Uluru-Auckland over 2 weeks or so. We're skipping Sydney because my friend has been there dozens of times and doesn't want to go back, and I'll have the opportunity to go when my family comes to visit me next year.
Thanks!
What is a good estimate per day for Australia? We'll stay in hostels, fly between cities, do PB&J sandwiches whenever possible, and do the normal Whitsunday island sail, koala cuddling, etc. I want to skimp on food and accommodation wherever possible but not lose any of the fun entertaining activities! Think an itinerary of the following: Auckland-Melbourne-Brisbane-Whitsunday-Cairns-Uluru-Auckland over 2 weeks or so. We're skipping Sydney because my friend has been there dozens of times and doesn't want to go back, and I'll have the opportunity to go when my family comes to visit me next year.
Thanks!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Traveler
In addition to my New Year's eve trip and an Oz trip (which is definitely ON!) in the next two months, I now have an opportunity to go to Fiji, complete with a place to stay! I'm scared to look at ticket prices, because I really want to go and I don't want to have to say no due to the cost. Oh man.
What a tough life I have. :)
What a tough life I have. :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Question
Here's a scenario for you, please help!
You are going to a foreign country for a good length of time and don't want to carry your (heavy) laptop with you, but you will almost certainly need to download photos of your trip to make room for more pictures, and to back up the existing pictures in case something awful happens and you lose or ruin your camera. You also don't want to hook your hard drive to random computers in internet cafes because of the rampant gross viruses that reside in most of those computers. What do you do? Is there any way to get around this? Maybe online data storage? lots and lots of memory cards? Not take many pictures (not a real option)??
You are going to a foreign country for a good length of time and don't want to carry your (heavy) laptop with you, but you will almost certainly need to download photos of your trip to make room for more pictures, and to back up the existing pictures in case something awful happens and you lose or ruin your camera. You also don't want to hook your hard drive to random computers in internet cafes because of the rampant gross viruses that reside in most of those computers. What do you do? Is there any way to get around this? Maybe online data storage? lots and lots of memory cards? Not take many pictures (not a real option)??
Bullet Points of Excitement
- Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed today. Finally. This doesn't really have a place for a mention in finance, but I am happy when my country makes me proud, and grants people the freedom that they deserve as American citizens. Not to mention, realize what most people in first world countries have realized long ago.
- Trip around the North Island for NYE (Dec 31 - Jan 4) coming up! So far we've booked a car and a spot to sleep for New Year's. The rest of the trip is fuzzy, and somehow, even though this is really my friends' trip (her friend is coming to visit), I was elected to plan it. I kind of love it, which is why I do it. Every trip needs a planner! I think we're headed down Taranaki-way. I'm dying to climb it!! Now just to find somewhere, anywhere, to sleep each night, during the most busy tourist period of the year, only a week in advance.
- My Australia trip just got pushed forward to mid-January. Hence, on top of making NYE plans, I am frantically making Oz plans, without really knowing when my friend can come over--her relative gets her free flights as long as she flies standby. Must be nice! Again, I am the planner in this duo, so I'm sketching together itineraries and such. It is kind of a hassle and there is some pressure--I will only go to many of these cities/destinations ONCE in my life, so I can't miss anything good--but I really kind of enjoy researching and fantasizing about how amazing things will be. I will blog my itinerary and hopefully you all can make comments.
- Due to all of the planning, I am not worrying about finding a new apartment until these trips are over. I need to get out of Auckland, pronto!
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| Photo credit: me! taken Nov. 27 from Devonport Auckland |
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Housing Treadmill
As soon as I moved into my place, I declared that it was where I'd stay until I left NZ.
Well, I guess I'm leaving NZ in a few months, then! My old roommate and I met with my landlord today to go over the new persons' lease and to sign off on old roommate's tenancy agreement. During our conversation, my landlord revealed that she was going to list the apartment for sale next month.
Huh. Yeah, that information would have been useful a WEEK AGO! Before all of this roommate nonsense. I've lived through the sale of a property before, just before I started this blog, actually (I mention it here). The process was excruciating. You have to keep everything spic n span at all times, and even with the law that states that you have to get at least 24 hours' notice before the real estate agents come into the property, someone barged in on me while I was in the shower. Not healthy for your heart, although my lungs got a good workout that day.
So I am staying on the housing treadmill, it seems. Landlord is going to try to sell the property tenanted, but there are absolutely no guarantees, and we'll have to still let strangers in our house and keep everything really really clean at all times while the property is being shown. I kind of don't want to deal with it, though, so I've started looking for apartments already. I've also made up an ideal house list. Because this is NZ, I WON'T get all of these things, but I can still dream...
1) completely furnished, large room with double or queen bed.
2) 1 or 2 roommates (no more than that)
3) my own bathroom with bathtub
4) one of the roommates owns a dog (preferably a lab) that I can hang out with and play with once in a while
5) high speed broadband, unlimited downloads
6) $210 or less per week, plus expenses
7) In city center, grafton, eden terrace, ponsonby, or parnell (ie close to my work so I can walk there in less than 20 minutes).
8) comfortable, home-y feel, not like the dark, dank utilitarian city apartments
My deal breakers are price, being furnished and having a tub, and having high speed internet. I need all of those things to be happy. Oh, and the shorter the commute, the better!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Leasing
I'm a weird one--once I get it in my head that I'm going to do something, not much can sway me from doing it. So under the pressure of my roommate and her boyfriend, I made myself the deadline of deciding on a new roommate by tonight. That's a mere 5 days after roommate told me she's moving out, and after only 3 evenings of interviewing people. That's insane. But I did it. In the end, it wasn't because she wanted me to (although it was initially), it was because I set that goal for myself.
So, which did I choose? The couple which saves me bank or the guy? I liked the people involved about the same amount, so more money vs more space became the deciding factors. Because I've been saving up (in fact I'm about out of ideas for new savings goals!), I'm OK with money. I could use (a LOT) more in retirement, but I don't feel like have to sacrifice anything for the sake of having a little more disposable income. I have everything that I really want, and I can afford everything that I want. I just choose not to buy it quite yet--til I feel I've earned it or really need it, I suppose. So it feels like a treat, rather than something that I deserve.
So, the obvious choice was more space. I let the nice fellow know that I'd love to have him come live with me, and after a little bit of a miscommunication (he's foreign), he accepted. Landlord comes on Saturday to do the inventory (docking the roommate for the garage door opener and the mattress because I let her know what was happening), and then he signs the lease. And I am rid of the toxic energy that has plagued me for the past week.
Huz to the zah.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Learning
Yeah, this experience has taught me some things about myself, for sure:
1) I'm a pushover and easily bullied.
2) I react to bullying and guilt with manipulative and passive-aggressive tendencies. It has taken me this long to a) realize that is what I'm doing and b) quell my reactions to a more dilute level.
3) I hate hate hate confrontation. Instead I now refer to it as trying to figure out how to explain my feelings in a calm way when it becomes necessary. It takes the bite out of it and I know I can do that.
4) It can be fun to meet perfect strangers. It is not OK to tell a random stranger on the street in depth about yourself in real life, but in certain situations (like future roommate situations) it is acceptable and encouraged. I need to do this more often (meet people, not find roommates...ugh). And maybe internet dating isn't so bad? I've been doing internet roommate-ing for years.
5) I feel bullied or admonished very easily. Because I hate confrontation, I'm super sensitive to any situation where I feel like I may have to defend myself.
6) You never can tell what people are really like. Great one minute, psycho the next.
7) It takes me a while to realize that I'm being bullied, and when I do realize, I get ANGRY. It takes me another while to figure out how and what to tell the people that I'm angry at my feelings.
8) I've grown up. Her BF was ranting at me yesterday and normally that's when I lose it and snap due to the emotional pressure, ruining any chance of working things out rationally--I literally go from meek weakling to tiger in an instant (never violent though--just say things in a way that I wish I hadn't). Instead, I took it in, thought it over for a day, and decided that if they say anything else to me that I perceive as bullying--absolutely anything--we'll have to meet in person to talk this over. I didn't do any texting of the feelings or writing notes, which are total cop-outs. Instead, I fully intend to sit them down and calmly and rationally explain myself. If it escalates out of that, I feel good in standing my position to not back down and to demand 2 weeks to find a good person. If I find someone before then, cool. If not, too bad.
9) It can be exhausting to meet perfect strangers. It's amazing how I can tell, within a few minutes of meeting someone (really the first few seconds), if it could work or not. Even if you don't think it will work, you still have to go through the motions of showing people the place, etc., in order to not seem like a psycho.
10) You can tell what kind of people they are by their emails and texts. I haven't been wrong yet. Voicemails, however, are trickier and often very misleading.
11) I'm too emotional to tell right now, but I've let go of being friends with my current roommate. Whatever happens will happen. I might be too annoyed/appalled by her behavior during this debacle to be friends with her after this, anyway.
I say this all calmly and from a good place, because I have two good choices for the room. Neither are exactly what I wanted, but will do. One is a couple, around 35-40 years old, who are REALLY nice and who would make my rent super-low but possibly make the house feel crowded. They are extremely cool but I worry about only having the one bathroom. And they work all the time and I really wanted someone that would hang out once in a while. The other is a guy that I found easy to talk to and seems really reliable. He's very focused on his career and seems stable. I don't want to live with a guy, but if I have to, he'd be a good choice--no creepy vibes at all (might be gay...that'd be even better!!!). Even if I didn't choose him, I'd definitely invite him to some group activities and hang out with him again. If I lived with a guy, I'd just have to hide my underwear while drying it...and get a good full coverage robe. :) And not talk about reality tv or the microdermabrasion that I'm getting soon. Any other tips to living with a non-significant other of the opposite sex?
1) I'm a pushover and easily bullied.
2) I react to bullying and guilt with manipulative and passive-aggressive tendencies. It has taken me this long to a) realize that is what I'm doing and b) quell my reactions to a more dilute level.
3) I hate hate hate confrontation. Instead I now refer to it as trying to figure out how to explain my feelings in a calm way when it becomes necessary. It takes the bite out of it and I know I can do that.
4) It can be fun to meet perfect strangers. It is not OK to tell a random stranger on the street in depth about yourself in real life, but in certain situations (like future roommate situations) it is acceptable and encouraged. I need to do this more often (meet people, not find roommates...ugh). And maybe internet dating isn't so bad? I've been doing internet roommate-ing for years.
5) I feel bullied or admonished very easily. Because I hate confrontation, I'm super sensitive to any situation where I feel like I may have to defend myself.
6) You never can tell what people are really like. Great one minute, psycho the next.
7) It takes me a while to realize that I'm being bullied, and when I do realize, I get ANGRY. It takes me another while to figure out how and what to tell the people that I'm angry at my feelings.
8) I've grown up. Her BF was ranting at me yesterday and normally that's when I lose it and snap due to the emotional pressure, ruining any chance of working things out rationally--I literally go from meek weakling to tiger in an instant (never violent though--just say things in a way that I wish I hadn't). Instead, I took it in, thought it over for a day, and decided that if they say anything else to me that I perceive as bullying--absolutely anything--we'll have to meet in person to talk this over. I didn't do any texting of the feelings or writing notes, which are total cop-outs. Instead, I fully intend to sit them down and calmly and rationally explain myself. If it escalates out of that, I feel good in standing my position to not back down and to demand 2 weeks to find a good person. If I find someone before then, cool. If not, too bad.
9) It can be exhausting to meet perfect strangers. It's amazing how I can tell, within a few minutes of meeting someone (really the first few seconds), if it could work or not. Even if you don't think it will work, you still have to go through the motions of showing people the place, etc., in order to not seem like a psycho.
10) You can tell what kind of people they are by their emails and texts. I haven't been wrong yet. Voicemails, however, are trickier and often very misleading.
11) I'm too emotional to tell right now, but I've let go of being friends with my current roommate. Whatever happens will happen. I might be too annoyed/appalled by her behavior during this debacle to be friends with her after this, anyway.
I say this all calmly and from a good place, because I have two good choices for the room. Neither are exactly what I wanted, but will do. One is a couple, around 35-40 years old, who are REALLY nice and who would make my rent super-low but possibly make the house feel crowded. They are extremely cool but I worry about only having the one bathroom. And they work all the time and I really wanted someone that would hang out once in a while. The other is a guy that I found easy to talk to and seems really reliable. He's very focused on his career and seems stable. I don't want to live with a guy, but if I have to, he'd be a good choice--no creepy vibes at all (might be gay...that'd be even better!!!). Even if I didn't choose him, I'd definitely invite him to some group activities and hang out with him again. If I lived with a guy, I'd just have to hide my underwear while drying it...and get a good full coverage robe. :) And not talk about reality tv or the microdermabrasion that I'm getting soon. Any other tips to living with a non-significant other of the opposite sex?
Can't Deal
Yeah, OK, I'm not getting any work done this week, it's very clear. Or sleep much. I can't concentrate on anything except worrying about who is texting me about the apartment, when they are coming over, if my roommate left the garage door opener for me, and what if I don't find a good tenant. I had 10 people lined up and over half have already flaked. No more texts or emails came in today--bad sign. Only two people have kept their appointments--the Oz guy and a couple. I really just want to live with a fun, nice girl about my age. That might not happen.
Things have gone missing from the apartment, and I have a feeling that I'm going to be held responsible for them in the long run. 1) roommate let her friend borrow the garage door opener, and it's missing. That's $80 right there. 2) roommate moved the mattress that was in her room and bought a new bed, and that original mattress is gone. I don't think she thinks she should be held responsible for either...which is worrying. If the mattress was in the garage and someone stole it, but it was yours and in your room originally, aren't you still responsible? And generally, aren't people responsible for things they lend to their friends?
I also am a little worried that she's forgotten about the money I've given her for stuff. $20 for artwork that never appeared, $20 for a TV that never worked, $20 for a lamp (she's taking it with her), $50 for the dryer (it's staying). She mentioned that I owed her $30 for the dryer ($50 minus $20 for the lamp she's taking) but after thinking about it, I gave her more than that by knocking some money off of the utilities bills (for the things listed above), so we should be even. Also she should get a replacement for the fire extinguisher--she caused a fire and never replaced it, despite me mentioning it a few times. That's $40. It's adding up!
Just so many headaches. and tough conversations. that I don't want to have. esp. since her bf is already pressuring me about their money situation. on the same token, NONE of this was my idea, I didn't make her decide to leave, I am only trying to do what is fair for myself. I didn't make them not save any money for this kind of situation. It's really not my concern. I realize she didn't lose the remote, it was her friend, and it's not her fault that the mattress was stolen, but...still her responsibility, right? And I don't want to pay for someone else's responsibilities.
Maybe I could mention these things to my landlord, who will take the $$ for these things out of her bond? It is just so tricky. I really like her and her friends and would love to stay friends with them all, but if I am too hard-ass I may lose them. I don't have that many friends to begin with here, so maybe I should just eat it all, small price to pay for companionship while in a foreign land...
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Fair or Not Fair?
I am very stressed out.
It doesn't have to be like this.
Here's the question: who is responsible for getting someone in a vacant room in a house: a) the roommate that is staying or b) the roommate that is leaving?
In our lease, it says that the landlord needs 21 days' written notice for vacating the tenancy. Great, right?
But if the leaving roommate found someone else to take the room immediately after giving notice, what happens then? Who gets to decide who moves in?
It's a big gray area.
Here are the facts:
1) it's been 3 days since my roommate gave me notice. She initially said that she was giving me around a month's notice, she hadn't even told my landlord yet, she wanted to prepare me. Awesome sauce, sounds great. In the meantime, she puts up an ad and gets the good feeling about the Australiangirl guy. She hopes I will decide to let him move in the next day (Tuesday) so she doesn't have to pay any more rent than she has to--her lease started on a Tuesday, so she's hoping to stop paying on a Tuesday.
2) Yesterday at work, she finds out that she might be made redundant in a month's time. Awful!
3) We meet the Australian dude, I tell him I'll make a decision by Friday (4 days away) and let him know.
4) Today, roommate texts me that her friend can move in. I know him (it's a he for sure) and he can move in tomorrow. I've talked to him a few times at parties and he's a nice dude, but no one I'd normally spend a lot of time with. His ex-wife is crazy, he starts and scraps businesses very quickly, and he may be in some sort of major debt or trouble with the IRD, based on the mail we've gotten at the house (he stayed here when he was made redundant not too long ago, still gets all his (scrapped) business mail here). He also changes apartments on a whim very often. I don't want to go through this again in 3 months' time. I say no, I don't want to live with him when there may be better choices out there.
5) She texts back that the longer I wait, the more rent she has to pay. She has already moved in with the BF, so she is now paying double rent. I tell her that we'll talk about it in person.
6) She and the BF come over and the BF goes on a rant about how I blew it and I 'lost' the guy last night because I didn't make a snap decision to let the first person I saw rent the room. All I can say to him, over and over, is that I need to see people this week, and I'll make a decision on Friday or Saturday. It's an important one--I can't just let anyone move in because my current roommate has to pay double. I have to like the person that I live with. Current roommate says she thought it was up to her to find a replacement. He doesn't understand and tells me that the way I do things I'll lose every person to come through, and tries to convince me to let roommate's friend move in right away. I refuse. I actually think I'm being really fast by deciding after a week. I tell my roommate that she paid 3 weeks' bond so she has a cushion there.
7) I have to live with the person, shouldn't I get to choose? And shouldn't I get a reasonable amount of time to not only decide, but to interview people? I tried to assure my roommate that I wouldn't let this drag on for weeks, and that I'd have to pay her share of the rent if it exceeded 3 weeks' and I still didn't have a good candidate. I just don't know what my rights here are, I guess. I'm not trying to screw my roommate over but I need to LIKE my new housemate--my apartment is not that big!
What do you think? Is there protocol here?
It doesn't have to be like this.
Here's the question: who is responsible for getting someone in a vacant room in a house: a) the roommate that is staying or b) the roommate that is leaving?
In our lease, it says that the landlord needs 21 days' written notice for vacating the tenancy. Great, right?
But if the leaving roommate found someone else to take the room immediately after giving notice, what happens then? Who gets to decide who moves in?
It's a big gray area.
Here are the facts:
1) it's been 3 days since my roommate gave me notice. She initially said that she was giving me around a month's notice, she hadn't even told my landlord yet, she wanted to prepare me. Awesome sauce, sounds great. In the meantime, she puts up an ad and gets the good feeling about the Australian
2) Yesterday at work, she finds out that she might be made redundant in a month's time. Awful!
3) We meet the Australian dude, I tell him I'll make a decision by Friday (4 days away) and let him know.
4) Today, roommate texts me that her friend can move in. I know him (it's a he for sure) and he can move in tomorrow. I've talked to him a few times at parties and he's a nice dude, but no one I'd normally spend a lot of time with. His ex-wife is crazy, he starts and scraps businesses very quickly, and he may be in some sort of major debt or trouble with the IRD, based on the mail we've gotten at the house (he stayed here when he was made redundant not too long ago, still gets all his (scrapped) business mail here). He also changes apartments on a whim very often. I don't want to go through this again in 3 months' time. I say no, I don't want to live with him when there may be better choices out there.
5) She texts back that the longer I wait, the more rent she has to pay. She has already moved in with the BF, so she is now paying double rent. I tell her that we'll talk about it in person.
6) She and the BF come over and the BF goes on a rant about how I blew it and I 'lost' the guy last night because I didn't make a snap decision to let the first person I saw rent the room. All I can say to him, over and over, is that I need to see people this week, and I'll make a decision on Friday or Saturday. It's an important one--I can't just let anyone move in because my current roommate has to pay double. I have to like the person that I live with. Current roommate says she thought it was up to her to find a replacement. He doesn't understand and tells me that the way I do things I'll lose every person to come through, and tries to convince me to let roommate's friend move in right away. I refuse. I actually think I'm being really fast by deciding after a week. I tell my roommate that she paid 3 weeks' bond so she has a cushion there.
7) I have to live with the person, shouldn't I get to choose? And shouldn't I get a reasonable amount of time to not only decide, but to interview people? I tried to assure my roommate that I wouldn't let this drag on for weeks, and that I'd have to pay her share of the rent if it exceeded 3 weeks' and I still didn't have a good candidate. I just don't know what my rights here are, I guess. I'm not trying to screw my roommate over but I need to LIKE my new housemate--my apartment is not that big!
What do you think? Is there protocol here?
Adventures in Roommate Hunting--Ch 1
Chapter 1 opens with me chatting with my roommate, a few hours after I read on facebook that she's moving out. She tells me she already has an ad up, and asks me what kind of person I want to live with, to which I respond (of course) with, someone like you--chill, relaxed, fun, respectful, around 30, professional or postgrad female that maybe likes to play games and have friends over for dinner and a movie once in a while.
On Sunday, my roommate tells me that an Australian girl has contacted her, and that she 'has a great feeling' about her. Now--I have to preface this by saying that my roommate is very New Age-y and guided by her feelings and people's auras and stuff. It's neat to hear about. Oz girl can move in on Tuesday--that's the day after we meet for the first time--and my roommate really wants this to work out because she has Tuesday off and can move her stuff out at that time. Right. She wants me to meet one person only, get a 'good feeling' about them, and ignore the 10 other people that I have appointments with this week. Ah, no. It would be lovely to work like that, and for life to happen like that, but it doesn't really fit my reality and how I do things. I'm still reeling from her moving out! I hate change...
So the Aussie girl came over tonight. Guess what? She's a he. It was quite hilarious to watch from the balcony and see my roommate try to meet an australian girl on the sidewalk in front of my apartment and see her face when she realized!
I met the dude, and really, I think I can't live with a guy (that I'm not dating). He was cool, yes, and actually kind of cute, and maybe that is the problem. No WAY could I wander around in my skivvies with a male roommate, esp. a cute one, wandering around! The other problem is that his profession requires him to travel a lot so I would be in the house alone for 4-5 days at a time. Boo. No fun!
Also, I think I asked him like twelve times if he was a big partier. I have this image of Australians as being really loud, egomaniacal (but fun and hot) drunkards. I have to work on my roommate game, obviously. It's just so difficult to judge people fairly when all you know are very basic facts: nationality, how they text or email, if they can spell, maybe age and profession (they don't always comply with my request to 'tell me about yourself' over email). There is a Saudi guy that texted me about the room and everyone I tell advises me against meeting with him. I can't believe how quickly they say it, too. It feels dirty and horrible to stereotype someone enough to not be open-minded enough to meet the person and see for yourself. So I tried to set up a time for him to come over, and he called and was pretty rude on the phone, not friendly at all, just demanded to see the apartment right away. I hate to say it, but the Saudi guy is out. bash me all you want, but the combo of everyone warning me against it already had me on edge and then the rudeness broke the camel's back.
I'm meeting a dentist tomorrow and I've already pegged her as the type of person that I could live with: my New Year's resolution was to floss every day this year, for goodness' sake! We shall see...
OMG, there is a new young phd student that i work with (she is 22 and from the US) and she didn't know who Doogie Howser was. Am I really that old?!
On Sunday, my roommate tells me that an Australian girl has contacted her, and that she 'has a great feeling' about her. Now--I have to preface this by saying that my roommate is very New Age-y and guided by her feelings and people's auras and stuff. It's neat to hear about. Oz girl can move in on Tuesday--that's the day after we meet for the first time--and my roommate really wants this to work out because she has Tuesday off and can move her stuff out at that time. Right. She wants me to meet one person only, get a 'good feeling' about them, and ignore the 10 other people that I have appointments with this week. Ah, no. It would be lovely to work like that, and for life to happen like that, but it doesn't really fit my reality and how I do things. I'm still reeling from her moving out! I hate change...
So the Aussie girl came over tonight. Guess what? She's a he. It was quite hilarious to watch from the balcony and see my roommate try to meet an australian girl on the sidewalk in front of my apartment and see her face when she realized!
I met the dude, and really, I think I can't live with a guy (that I'm not dating). He was cool, yes, and actually kind of cute, and maybe that is the problem. No WAY could I wander around in my skivvies with a male roommate, esp. a cute one, wandering around! The other problem is that his profession requires him to travel a lot so I would be in the house alone for 4-5 days at a time. Boo. No fun!
Also, I think I asked him like twelve times if he was a big partier. I have this image of Australians as being really loud, egomaniacal (but fun and hot) drunkards. I have to work on my roommate game, obviously. It's just so difficult to judge people fairly when all you know are very basic facts: nationality, how they text or email, if they can spell, maybe age and profession (they don't always comply with my request to 'tell me about yourself' over email). There is a Saudi guy that texted me about the room and everyone I tell advises me against meeting with him. I can't believe how quickly they say it, too. It feels dirty and horrible to stereotype someone enough to not be open-minded enough to meet the person and see for yourself. So I tried to set up a time for him to come over, and he called and was pretty rude on the phone, not friendly at all, just demanded to see the apartment right away. I hate to say it, but the Saudi guy is out. bash me all you want, but the combo of everyone warning me against it already had me on edge and then the rudeness broke the camel's back.
I'm meeting a dentist tomorrow and I've already pegged her as the type of person that I could live with: my New Year's resolution was to floss every day this year, for goodness' sake! We shall see...
OMG, there is a new young phd student that i work with (she is 22 and from the US) and she didn't know who Doogie Howser was. Am I really that old?!
Adventures in Roommate Hunting--Prologue
The wily wonderful roommate is an elusive beast, wandering through the wilderness and concrete jungle. Only careful words will draw them near, and even then, the slightest flaw in circumstances can scare them away, never to be seen again.
Today Chapter One in the Roommate Hunting saga took place. Actually, there is a prologue to the story:
I put up my ad on Saturday. On Sunday, a guy texted me under the guise of looking for a roommate in response to the ad I have up. I'd prefer not to live with a dude, but if the personalities fit, I could be down with it, so I'm also accepting interviews with a few guys. We set a time, and then he came back with, 'how negotiable is the garage rent?' I said, Very, for the right candidate, and we could work something out, like he does more cleaning or always takes out the garbage or something. He came back with an offer to massage me weekly, phrased very creepily (how is that ever NOT phrased creepily from a stranger, via text?!). I told him I don't go for massages really and he just kept texting back that I didn't have to go anywhere--we'd do it in the privacy of our apartment. Then I just said forget it, I've got plenty of other people who are willing to pay full price (not a lie). He texted back lots of winks and told me to 'think about it.' I'm still getting texts...
Oy.
Today Chapter One in the Roommate Hunting saga took place. Actually, there is a prologue to the story:
I put up my ad on Saturday. On Sunday, a guy texted me under the guise of looking for a roommate in response to the ad I have up. I'd prefer not to live with a dude, but if the personalities fit, I could be down with it, so I'm also accepting interviews with a few guys. We set a time, and then he came back with, 'how negotiable is the garage rent?' I said, Very, for the right candidate, and we could work something out, like he does more cleaning or always takes out the garbage or something. He came back with an offer to massage me weekly, phrased very creepily (how is that ever NOT phrased creepily from a stranger, via text?!). I told him I don't go for massages really and he just kept texting back that I didn't have to go anywhere--we'd do it in the privacy of our apartment. Then I just said forget it, I've got plenty of other people who are willing to pay full price (not a lie). He texted back lots of winks and told me to 'think about it.' I'm still getting texts...
Oy.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Retail Therapy
Yeah...I just got dumped by my roommate, I'm bummed by some other personal things going on and I'm extremely homesick. AND just received a great bonus.
Those elements, together, equal emotional spending. I need cheering up, badly! I can't believe how much my emotional state depends on other people's actions sometimes.
Actually, I'm not great at spending money. I always falter when it comes time to hit the purchase or confirm button, so I'll probably just shop online and end up saving the money. Whatever makes me feel better, at this point...
Things to look forward to: a late thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and a dance showcase tomorrow night. Should be very interesting and yummy! I'm glad my weekend is full and busy--less time to wallow.
The Good and The Bad
The Great, actually: I got a letter from my company informing me that they're giving me a Christmas bonus of 4% of my salary--enough to cover 2/3 of a trip home, the rest could be covered by normal monthly excess. A Christmas miracle! Ecstatic, I went out with two friends to dinner and dancing to celebrate this fact, that my friend is staying to get her PhD here, and that my other friend had his birthday yesterday. I spent ~$100 tonight, all told, which is fine--my bonus could pay for that 20 times over.
The Bad: I got home tonight, excited to buy tickets home, and checked facebook (as you do). My roommate sent me a message (couldn't find me this evening) to tell me she is moving in with her boyfriend. So...I have to spend the next few weeks looking for a new flatmate instead of going home. I wouldn't feel comfortable going home before finding a new person, because I can't afford the whole apartment by myself. I kind of knew this was coming (uh, they got a dog together, for heaven's sake!), but was really hoping she'd wait until the holidays were over!
Ah well. I am a little scared--last time I had to find a new flatmate, I didn't have many responses. Plus, it was exhausting and I almost let some awful people move in because I was so tired of the process and wasn't getting better people. Even with all the tiny petty things I complained about, I definitely got lucky to find my current roommate. And who moves apartments just before Christmas?
So, to sum up: Yay! and ARGH.
The Bad: I got home tonight, excited to buy tickets home, and checked facebook (as you do). My roommate sent me a message (couldn't find me this evening) to tell me she is moving in with her boyfriend. So...I have to spend the next few weeks looking for a new flatmate instead of going home. I wouldn't feel comfortable going home before finding a new person, because I can't afford the whole apartment by myself. I kind of knew this was coming (uh, they got a dog together, for heaven's sake!), but was really hoping she'd wait until the holidays were over!
Ah well. I am a little scared--last time I had to find a new flatmate, I didn't have many responses. Plus, it was exhausting and I almost let some awful people move in because I was so tired of the process and wasn't getting better people. Even with all the tiny petty things I complained about, I definitely got lucky to find my current roommate. And who moves apartments just before Christmas?
So, to sum up: Yay! and ARGH.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Homesick
I had an awesome day at work today--basically both of my bosses have confirmed that they want me to stay beyond my contract end in August 2011, maybe even get rid of the contract nonsense altogether and make me a permanent staff member. So why do I feel a little bit like crying?
The happier I get in my job, the more miserable I get about being so far away from my family.
I just watched the Glee Christmas episode...and I actually missed America's obsession with the holidays. I want/need to go home for Christmas. I'm sad to be so far away from my family on a normal day, but it's really hard to spend the holidays so far away from them. My first Christmas away from home last year was weird and more than a little bit miserable and lonely. I'm looking at tickets now. $2800 NZD to go home for a week and a half. The only things stopping me are stupid yet very logical arguments: I didn't budget for this, and I am low on time off (I am taking 3 weeks off in Feb to go to Australia). Can I do it? Should I?
The happier I get in my job, the more miserable I get about being so far away from my family.
I just watched the Glee Christmas episode...and I actually missed America's obsession with the holidays. I want/need to go home for Christmas. I'm sad to be so far away from my family on a normal day, but it's really hard to spend the holidays so far away from them. My first Christmas away from home last year was weird and more than a little bit miserable and lonely. I'm looking at tickets now. $2800 NZD to go home for a week and a half. The only things stopping me are stupid yet very logical arguments: I didn't budget for this, and I am low on time off (I am taking 3 weeks off in Feb to go to Australia). Can I do it? Should I?
Reverberating Still
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
Again, I'm a little unsure of what this question means. And what it means that I don't understand these questions. I did some new stuff this year. Is that what they mean? Um. cultivate...wonder. Still unsure of how to answer that. I went to new places, put myself out there a few times... Ugh, OK. I got nothin'.
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
See Prompt 3, Moment. Old love. Because it would make me a bad person--someone I couldn't respect--if I held onto it for any longer. Because it caused me to live in the past. Because it's holding me back from allowing myself to look for someone else that could make me happy.
December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
I made a scarf last year for kicks, to learn how to knit. It was entertaining for a moment, but I didn't love it nor do I really want to do it again. I kind of wanted to prove to myself that I could be crafty if I really wanted to be, and I accomplished that goal. My mom, who's been knitting for decades, was impressed by my first attempt. I used the softest yarn I could find, but it was still too scratchy for my neck, so I gave it to my sister. I want to make several gifts for my family and friends--write and send a hand-written note to a good friend, print a picture for another friend, and compile a bunch of pics of my life for my family--they were asking for this--and possibly make a calendar using my photos from this year. These are things I think about doing constantly, but don't do. Not for lack of time--I have plenty of that--but mostly out of lack of motivation. For my job, I made several posters and I'm designing a museum display (OMG, I'm so excited about this!).
Again, I'm a little unsure of what this question means. And what it means that I don't understand these questions. I did some new stuff this year. Is that what they mean? Um. cultivate...wonder. Still unsure of how to answer that. I went to new places, put myself out there a few times... Ugh, OK. I got nothin'.
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
See Prompt 3, Moment. Old love. Because it would make me a bad person--someone I couldn't respect--if I held onto it for any longer. Because it caused me to live in the past. Because it's holding me back from allowing myself to look for someone else that could make me happy.
December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
I made a scarf last year for kicks, to learn how to knit. It was entertaining for a moment, but I didn't love it nor do I really want to do it again. I kind of wanted to prove to myself that I could be crafty if I really wanted to be, and I accomplished that goal. My mom, who's been knitting for decades, was impressed by my first attempt. I used the softest yarn I could find, but it was still too scratchy for my neck, so I gave it to my sister. I want to make several gifts for my family and friends--write and send a hand-written note to a good friend, print a picture for another friend, and compile a bunch of pics of my life for my family--they were asking for this--and possibly make a calendar using my photos from this year. These are things I think about doing constantly, but don't do. Not for lack of time--I have plenty of that--but mostly out of lack of motivation. For my job, I made several posters and I'm designing a museum display (OMG, I'm so excited about this!).
Monday, December 06, 2010
Reverberating
The Reverb10 bandwagon: I'm jumping on it.
Day 1. One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
Content. That's my 2010 word. It really does fit. Not quite ecstatically happy, just sort of fulfilled and satisfied. When I look back on this year, that's what I feel, particularly because I think of my 1.5 month vacation in Feb-Mar with good friends, and my 2 month vacation in August-Sept., when I think of 2010. Those vacations, particularly the latter, really made my year stand out. Work had its ups and downs, is what I spend most of my time and energy and mental focus on, is as gratifying and fulfilling as work can be, but apparently it isn't what I look back on and remember when I look back on in my time here on Earth.
My 2011 words (no way to shorten this): Fail better. This implies that I DO MORE, challenge myself more, in order to get better at things, and doesn't push the notion that I have to succeed at these things, just...try hard. I put too much pressure on myself to do everything perfectly, to the point where sometimes I just don't try things because I'm afraid of failing. I've missed too many opportunities because of that fear. It is that fear that holds me back from being more than content, from being happy. Just in the last 3 days, I've turned down an amazing invitation to an extremely cheap getaway weekend around awesome sites ($50 for three days' accommodation and transportation) and another invite to a friends' new house to meet his new roommates and possibly make new friends. Why do I do this in lieu of hanging out at home alone watching Hellcats? I don't know. But it's time to stop.
Day 2. Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
I...don't really know what this one means. I don't actively care about contributing to my writing, unless you mean writing in my job. I tend to procrastinate that because I feel like I have to be perfect at it...bringing us full circle back to Day 1. :)
Day 3. Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
Ahhh. Tricky. There were a few moments this year where I wasn't numbing myself to life and my emotions anymore and allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling 100%. Mostly during my 2 month vacation, particularly during my road trip when I was seeing new things every day. Moments where I was on the open road with an easy-going friend, destination chosen at random each day, just a feeling of being really free, taking whatever came at me, and being relaxed. I also felt very alive, unfortunately, when I had my heart broken this year (old wound). There was a moment where I knew I had no choice but to move on and let go of a hope that I had been holding onto for 6 years a really really long time, and I kind of broke down crying in a rental car by myself as that reality hit me. I search to fill that hole constantly, and that's probably why I end up sitting at home watching Hellcats or The Guild on repeat.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Sighs of Relief
Man. I don't know how high-pressured executives do it. I have just had the busiest, most stressful 2 months of my career, culminating in two high profile presentations of my work (one in poster form, another in a talk to ~400 expert scientists) this past week. I adore my job--can't say that enough!--but it is SO NICE to not be busy. I should clarify that--I'm always busy--but I now have the freedom to choose what I work on & when I work on it, as my urgent deadlines have passed. I don't have any deadlines right now, and that feels amazing. What I do have are several fantastic projects to work on, all in various stages of completion, all which will look pretty awesome on my resume.
Back to my talk: I worked on that stupid powerpoint for so many days that I lost count of them. Seriously, it was SO MUCH WORK. I started the talk back in August...and I came away from it feeling like I could have done more, better. Most of my colleagues at my company and especially my boss put together talks in the two days before their presentations. How on Earth do they do that?! Not only to practice what they want to say, but to put together all of the slides with all the animation, etc. that goes into a powerpoint talk? I only had 17 slides for a 20 minute talk, and I felt like I was spending at least a whole work day on each, getting the right order of photos to show up, graphics, choosing the correct photo for the subject matter, formatting the words and all the while trying to make it look and feel pretty and smooth and follow the natural progression of a talk.
I gave a practice presentation to my company last week, and I thought it went very well, considering that I didn't have the talk finished nor had I practiced what I wanted to say from start to finish. I was extremely confident at that presentation, for some reason--must have been that I was familiar with my coworkers and knew they weren't there to rip me into shreds. I got a lot of feedback from my colleagues, but I had fieldwork all of last week, so didn't get any time (other than the practice presentation) to work on it using their suggestions until this past Sunday (the talk was on Tuesday). Sheesh. Sunday and Monday nights were spent going over the talk a few times, and I'd spent so much time with the material that I felt so. confident. about it. I walked in, feeling like I was going to own it. And then I stood up when it was my turn and opened my mouth.
I tripped over my words, forgot what was coming next, read off of the slides, talked extremely slowly, left long pauses in between words while I was panicking trying to figure out what to say, spoke down to the monitor, said 'um' a lot, everything you're not supposed to do! I had a microphone so my very quiet voice wasn't a factor, but I am sure my voice was monotone because I was struggling to keep it together. In short, I'm disappointed in myself. The good thing is, I must be harder on myself than anyone else, or everyone must be lying to me, because my boss was pleased and said it was perfect, and my good friend (of course) said she couldn't tell I was nervous and said I sounded fine. We also got a collaborator out of the talk for our plans to publish--and the collaborator is quite well known in the field. So all is well, except I need to either be less hard on myself or practice a hell of a lot more so I'm not this disappointed next time.
The poster session was great--I'm pretty good at chatting with random people who come up to me wanting to talk science. :)
The conference in general was a success, I think. There are several collaborations that came out of it for my work, it was great to touch base with others in my field whom I haven't seen in a while, and on top of all of that, I think I was able to make a few more friends here in Auckland & in NZ.
Tomorrow I take a day off (kinda). I'm working from home to do a few things that need to be done but mostly taking care of roommate's dog for the day! Then I'm going to see the new Harry Potter with a few people. So excited to finally have free time (& not feel guilty taking it).
Back to my talk: I worked on that stupid powerpoint for so many days that I lost count of them. Seriously, it was SO MUCH WORK. I started the talk back in August...and I came away from it feeling like I could have done more, better. Most of my colleagues at my company and especially my boss put together talks in the two days before their presentations. How on Earth do they do that?! Not only to practice what they want to say, but to put together all of the slides with all the animation, etc. that goes into a powerpoint talk? I only had 17 slides for a 20 minute talk, and I felt like I was spending at least a whole work day on each, getting the right order of photos to show up, graphics, choosing the correct photo for the subject matter, formatting the words and all the while trying to make it look and feel pretty and smooth and follow the natural progression of a talk.
I gave a practice presentation to my company last week, and I thought it went very well, considering that I didn't have the talk finished nor had I practiced what I wanted to say from start to finish. I was extremely confident at that presentation, for some reason--must have been that I was familiar with my coworkers and knew they weren't there to rip me into shreds. I got a lot of feedback from my colleagues, but I had fieldwork all of last week, so didn't get any time (other than the practice presentation) to work on it using their suggestions until this past Sunday (the talk was on Tuesday). Sheesh. Sunday and Monday nights were spent going over the talk a few times, and I'd spent so much time with the material that I felt so. confident. about it. I walked in, feeling like I was going to own it. And then I stood up when it was my turn and opened my mouth.
I tripped over my words, forgot what was coming next, read off of the slides, talked extremely slowly, left long pauses in between words while I was panicking trying to figure out what to say, spoke down to the monitor, said 'um' a lot, everything you're not supposed to do! I had a microphone so my very quiet voice wasn't a factor, but I am sure my voice was monotone because I was struggling to keep it together. In short, I'm disappointed in myself. The good thing is, I must be harder on myself than anyone else, or everyone must be lying to me, because my boss was pleased and said it was perfect, and my good friend (of course) said she couldn't tell I was nervous and said I sounded fine. We also got a collaborator out of the talk for our plans to publish--and the collaborator is quite well known in the field. So all is well, except I need to either be less hard on myself or practice a hell of a lot more so I'm not this disappointed next time.
The poster session was great--I'm pretty good at chatting with random people who come up to me wanting to talk science. :)
The conference in general was a success, I think. There are several collaborations that came out of it for my work, it was great to touch base with others in my field whom I haven't seen in a while, and on top of all of that, I think I was able to make a few more friends here in Auckland & in NZ.
Tomorrow I take a day off (kinda). I'm working from home to do a few things that need to be done but mostly taking care of roommate's dog for the day! Then I'm going to see the new Harry Potter with a few people. So excited to finally have free time (& not feel guilty taking it).
Monday, November 29, 2010
November Round up
Where does the time GO?! It feels like it was just last November...
This Nov. was a very easy month. Somehow, I didn't spend as much as I usually do.
Rent: usual, $840 per mo.
Groceries: Doing better here, 'only' $309.53. Including supplies to make two batches of candied yams for various Thanksgiving celebrations (the first kumara went all moldy before I had a chance to cook them).
Internet: $90. I used the internet a lot this month while working from home, so I paid more than my half.
Electricity: $72.30. Going down for summer!! :)
Eating Out: $31.45. Low this month...just wasn't in the mood for take-out, I guess. Went to dinner with a friend one night and had fast food another day for lunch, and got a mini-pizza another day.
Charity: $75. Over budget, but totally OK by me. There were a lot of demands this month: donate to friends' Movember campaigns, $10 Christmas raffle at work, and the Great Ape Race.
Cell Phone: $25. Top up Vodafone. I cancelled my Skype top up because it was costing me too much money.
Medical: $0. Need to see the doc about my hayfever, though--the pills he prescribed don't work at all, and it is BAD out there!
Misc: $398.81. Breakdown as follows:
- Goods and Wants $285.21. Bought some favorite american things from amazon for my parents to ship over for my Xmas present, as well as sparklers and several lotions and new toiletries to try! And a few items for a costume I had to put together at the last minute. :)
- Alcohol $24. drinks with conference people after dinner.
- Transportation $13.30. $10 cab ride at 2:30 am one night, plus several bus trips
- Entertainment $19.40. Bought tix to see Harry Potter with friends!! :)
- Gifts: $56.90
Savings: $340. My normal contribution to long-term savings.
Income: $3,310.58 (Normal monthly paychecks plus roommate's garage contributions.)
Left to save in short-term funds and Wish List Items: $1,128.99
Friday, November 19, 2010
I Kinda Got A Dog...
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| My new roommate is SUCH a b*tch. |
We're not allowed to own a dog in our apartment. She (the dog) sleeps over every night...and stays there during the day when roommate's BF has to work and can't take care of the dog. Technically we don't have a dog...but in reality, it's the same.
I'm glad I actually like this surprise for once. It doesn't bug me, in fact I adore pups--ROOMMATE IS SO LUCKY ABOUT THAT--but it would definitely bug my landlord. So I guess I get the benefits without all the hassle or blame??
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| how cute is she?! ...those ears! |
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Payment!!!
Roommate agreed to pay for the garage!! Hallelujah. I'm not sure what took so long. I hate bugging people about that kind of thing...
And the joke's really on her for waiting so long, because I'm going to use the money to buy stuff for the apartment. A Blender! A veggie chopper! Better knives! decorative artwork! a juicer? apple corer! a food processor? and maybe even a maid cleaning! :)
What kind of upgrades would you do to your household if you had a cool extra $80/mo?
And the joke's really on her for waiting so long, because I'm going to use the money to buy stuff for the apartment. A Blender! A veggie chopper! Better knives! decorative artwork! a juicer? apple corer! a food processor? and maybe even a maid cleaning! :)
What kind of upgrades would you do to your household if you had a cool extra $80/mo?
Monday, November 15, 2010
2011 Financial Goals
I originally wanted 11 Goals for 2011, but I honestly can't think of that many!! I have everything I need and more, and I think I will have explored the South Pacific to a satisfactory level once my trip to Oz is over. There is always more to see and do, but I will have hit my checklist, and any more travel is just icing on the cake!
Goal 1: Save $3K for 2012 US Trip. I like to have money to travel before I actually travel. This is an annual fund--I know I'm going to spend my vacation time overseas with my family each year, so the airfare expense is a given. Next year I will probably schedule additional side-trips to see friends in Boston, DC, the beach, San Francisco, and possibly a stop-over in Hawaii--all funded by normal monthly surplus--with my main stop being at my parents' house on the mid-Atlantic East Coast. They are all repeat trips to places I've been before, but I will have a place to sleep at every one, and I value my experiences with friends above seeing new places (although that is a close second, and seeing a new place with a friend is BEST!).
Goal 2: Spend $4K Australia Fund on ...a trip to Australia!! My friend is supposed to come in February. I can't wait to snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef!
Goal 3: Keep my $5K Family Trip to NZ intact. They are supposed to visit me at roughly this time next year! (God-willing) My mom has never left the US, other than short day trips to border-towns in Canada and Mexico (and a 2 day trip to the Bahamas once), I am so excited to share this with her, it is basically her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to really experience life outside the US.
Goal 4: Keep saving $340 or more toward my Long Term Goals each month. These goals are $10K Europe Fund, $5K House Downpayment Fund, and a $5K Roth IRA Fund (for when I move back to the US).
Goal 5: Continue contributing 2% of my income to the Kiwisaver to get the employer match.
Goal 6: Look into Prosper.com and BonusBonds.
Goal 7: Spend at least $50 per month on charity.
Goal 8: TBD England trip?
Goal 9: TBD mandatory medical, fitness and health-food spend (carpal tunnel, dentist, dermatologist, eye, thyroid specialist, chronic fatigue specialist, mitral valve prolapse syndrome, hypertension, gym, dance classes, farmer's markets, organic food, get blender, food preparation equipment on wish list)?
Goal 10: TBD mandatory mental health spend (yoga, pilates, meditation, therapy)?
Goal 11: TBD mandatory beauty-product and appearance (clothes, shoes, teeth whitening, skincare: organic products-- shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, exfoliator, face wash, makeup, body lotion, eye cream, night cream, spf face lotion, toothpaste, etc.), LASIK, microdermabrasion, permanent laser hair removal, jewelry, haircuts, tailoring) spend/fund?
Or perhaps a 'get everything on my wish list' fund?
Goal 1: Save $3K for 2012 US Trip. I like to have money to travel before I actually travel. This is an annual fund--I know I'm going to spend my vacation time overseas with my family each year, so the airfare expense is a given. Next year I will probably schedule additional side-trips to see friends in Boston, DC, the beach, San Francisco, and possibly a stop-over in Hawaii--all funded by normal monthly surplus--with my main stop being at my parents' house on the mid-Atlantic East Coast. They are all repeat trips to places I've been before, but I will have a place to sleep at every one, and I value my experiences with friends above seeing new places (although that is a close second, and seeing a new place with a friend is BEST!).
Goal 2: Spend $4K Australia Fund on ...a trip to Australia!! My friend is supposed to come in February. I can't wait to snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef!
Goal 3: Keep my $5K Family Trip to NZ intact. They are supposed to visit me at roughly this time next year! (God-willing) My mom has never left the US, other than short day trips to border-towns in Canada and Mexico (and a 2 day trip to the Bahamas once), I am so excited to share this with her, it is basically her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to really experience life outside the US.
Goal 4: Keep saving $340 or more toward my Long Term Goals each month. These goals are $10K Europe Fund, $5K House Downpayment Fund, and a $5K Roth IRA Fund (for when I move back to the US).
Goal 5: Continue contributing 2% of my income to the Kiwisaver to get the employer match.
Goal 6: Look into Prosper.com and BonusBonds.
Goal 7: Spend at least $50 per month on charity.
Goal 8: TBD England trip?
Goal 9: TBD mandatory medical, fitness and health-food spend (carpal tunnel, dentist, dermatologist, eye, thyroid specialist, chronic fatigue specialist, mitral valve prolapse syndrome, hypertension, gym, dance classes, farmer's markets, organic food, get blender, food preparation equipment on wish list)?
Goal 10: TBD mandatory mental health spend (yoga, pilates, meditation, therapy)?
Goal 11: TBD mandatory beauty-product and appearance (clothes, shoes, teeth whitening, skincare: organic products-- shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, exfoliator, face wash, makeup, body lotion, eye cream, night cream, spf face lotion, toothpaste, etc.), LASIK, microdermabrasion, permanent laser hair removal, jewelry, haircuts, tailoring) spend/fund?
Or perhaps a 'get everything on my wish list' fund?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
How Much Do You Live Off Of Each Month?
I want to be able to comfortably live off of $30K a year or less (after taxes), forever. It helps cut down on what I have to save for retirement, too. I am very happy with this budget! It shows, it hasn't changed significantly with my fluctuations in income and job change over the past 3 years. I pretty much know what the ranges are for each category now, and when I am likely to splurge/save. I've only become more of a saver as I see how much I can accumulate towards fun goals, like travel.
I was just curious as to how I stack up in terms of monthly expenses. I am extremely good at spending less than I earn by this point (only took me ...ten? years to get here?!). My monthly spend ranges from about $1,700 on the low end to ~$2,700 on the extreme high. Most months it clocks in around $2,200, which is around 70% of my net income. I know FB spends ~$1K a month (AWESOME JOB!!), but how much do you spend each month? I know it will fluctuate based on cost of living, domestic situations, etc., but I was just wondering if my estimate is high, low, etc....?
I was just curious as to how I stack up in terms of monthly expenses. I am extremely good at spending less than I earn by this point (only took me ...ten? years to get here?!). My monthly spend ranges from about $1,700 on the low end to ~$2,700 on the extreme high. Most months it clocks in around $2,200, which is around 70% of my net income. I know FB spends ~$1K a month (AWESOME JOB!!), but how much do you spend each month? I know it will fluctuate based on cost of living, domestic situations, etc., but I was just wondering if my estimate is high, low, etc....?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tedium
With all my careful tracking, I still can't seem to get a handle on my expenses and how much I can actually save each month. While my budgeting sheet says that I can save over $3K in October, my actual bank balance does not reflect that. I downgraded October's savings to $2500, otherwise I don't have enough to live off of for the next two weeks (I just got paid yesterday).
And I decided to scrap my 'Family EF'. It is great and all, but in reality, all of my savings is a family EF. If they were in a bind, all of it would be theirs. I put the Family EF money into my Move back to US Fund, which is now 50% complete. After this goal is filled, I am going to have to think long and hard about where my savings should be allocated. Post on 2011 goals is forthcoming.
Speaking of goals, I wrote a post on Net Worth the other day, but blogger sometimes freaks out and labels my scheduled posts as 'drafts, ' so it didn't post as scheduled. Oh well--that will post some other time.
And I decided to scrap my 'Family EF'. It is great and all, but in reality, all of my savings is a family EF. If they were in a bind, all of it would be theirs. I put the Family EF money into my Move back to US Fund, which is now 50% complete. After this goal is filled, I am going to have to think long and hard about where my savings should be allocated. Post on 2011 goals is forthcoming.
Speaking of goals, I wrote a post on Net Worth the other day, but blogger sometimes freaks out and labels my scheduled posts as 'drafts, ' so it didn't post as scheduled. Oh well--that will post some other time.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Another Friday, Another Crash
Yeah. BURNED out. I can barely keep my eyes open at 8 pm.
The past two days have held major events at work of which I was responsible for organizing. Things went off mostly without a hitch. Thank Goodness.
I have a lot more work to do next week. and then soon comes the Big Scary Talk. And then after that I have two trips out of town planned. (maybe)
I wanted very badly to go out for drinks after the event today to unwind and review the day's triumphs and mishaps, and went up and personally invited about 10 people and they all turned me down. The problem with not often going out or doing social activities is that when you are in the mood, there's no one to do it with!
P.S. (ETA) I recently found out about a club that focuses on a major hobby of mine! I hope to join them on one of their meetings in the next month to find out what they are like. Should be right up my alley, and I am semi-acquainted with their group leader and definitely like at least one of their members so I'm not going into it alone. :)
The past two days have held major events at work of which I was responsible for organizing. Things went off mostly without a hitch. Thank Goodness.
I have a lot more work to do next week. and then soon comes the Big Scary Talk. And then after that I have two trips out of town planned. (maybe)
I wanted very badly to go out for drinks after the event today to unwind and review the day's triumphs and mishaps, and went up and personally invited about 10 people and they all turned me down. The problem with not often going out or doing social activities is that when you are in the mood, there's no one to do it with!
P.S. (ETA) I recently found out about a club that focuses on a major hobby of mine! I hope to join them on one of their meetings in the next month to find out what they are like. Should be right up my alley, and I am semi-acquainted with their group leader and definitely like at least one of their members so I'm not going into it alone. :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
What is "Interim Interest"?
I am thinking of signing up for a 5 year CD with interim interest at Raboplus. They offer an interest rate of 6.5% with a monthly deposit of interim interest, which is pretty dang good. The thing is, they are paying that out every month, but how do they keep you from withdrawing the principle early? I don't understand what 'interim interest' really is. If you can pull it out any time, why wouldn't everyone just invest in the 5 year CD with interim interest and make 1.5% more annually?
I can't find this on their website anywhere so I'm pretty confused.
I can't find this on their website anywhere so I'm pretty confused.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Now THAT'S My Kind of Gambling
Or, Saving While You Gamble?
I'm not allowed to directly link to the site according to their rules, but here's a wikipedia page about Bonus Bonds. Apparently, New Zealand government has this trust that, as far as I can tell, acts like a lottery ticket except you get to keep the dollar that paid for the ticket.
You pay into the trust, the NZ government makes interest off of that money, and then awards cash prizes to various bond holders. You can win up to ONE MILLION dollars a month! Here's the kicker: winnings are TAX FREE. That's nuts!
According to wiki, about 1.5 million New Zealanders own a Bonus Bond. Approximately a quarter of a million prizes totaling $7.9 million are handed out each month in increments of $20 or more. There's no guarantee of a win, but your bonds don't lose their value. The S&P rating is the highest offered: AAAf.
To me, that's like the best kind of gambling I've ever heard of. I'd never use Bonus Bonds to actually save large chunks of money--there's no interest! However, with the odds of winning at 1 in 9,600 to 14,000 each month, it sounds like a great way to have some of the fun of gambling without really losing any money--akin to kiva.org. All you lose is a little bit of interest while gaining so much more. What an ingenius idea!
I'm not allowed to directly link to the site according to their rules, but here's a wikipedia page about Bonus Bonds. Apparently, New Zealand government has this trust that, as far as I can tell, acts like a lottery ticket except you get to keep the dollar that paid for the ticket.
You pay into the trust, the NZ government makes interest off of that money, and then awards cash prizes to various bond holders. You can win up to ONE MILLION dollars a month! Here's the kicker: winnings are TAX FREE. That's nuts!
According to wiki, about 1.5 million New Zealanders own a Bonus Bond. Approximately a quarter of a million prizes totaling $7.9 million are handed out each month in increments of $20 or more. There's no guarantee of a win, but your bonds don't lose their value. The S&P rating is the highest offered: AAAf.
To me, that's like the best kind of gambling I've ever heard of. I'd never use Bonus Bonds to actually save large chunks of money--there's no interest! However, with the odds of winning at 1 in 9,600 to 14,000 each month, it sounds like a great way to have some of the fun of gambling without really losing any money--akin to kiva.org. All you lose is a little bit of interest while gaining so much more. What an ingenius idea!
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Hulu Works!
OMG, I can watch Hulu in NZ again! They'd blocked me back in 2008, but now it works again with HotSpot Shield! :) Yay american TV shows!
I had a dream last night that I went grocery shopping and they had all these American products that I miss. I went crazy pulling them off of the shelves into my cart. Talk about wish fulfillment...
I don't know who I'm kidding sometimes, living in NZ. No offense to Kiwis, but I'm SO American, and love-hate it, it hurts! Like I've always said, if I didn't have my current job (or if I could find something equivalent in the US), I'd be out of here already. Trying to enjoy my time away and appreciate all that NZ has to offer in the meantime. It gives me a new respect for all that the US has to offer, and it helps me realize all of the major faults of the US, too.
I had a dream last night that I went grocery shopping and they had all these American products that I miss. I went crazy pulling them off of the shelves into my cart. Talk about wish fulfillment...
I don't know who I'm kidding sometimes, living in NZ. No offense to Kiwis, but I'm SO American, and love-hate it, it hurts! Like I've always said, if I didn't have my current job (or if I could find something equivalent in the US), I'd be out of here already. Trying to enjoy my time away and appreciate all that NZ has to offer in the meantime. It gives me a new respect for all that the US has to offer, and it helps me realize all of the major faults of the US, too.
If You Can't Beat 'Em...Stop Playing Mini-Golf
I have a confession: I have a teeny, tiny problem with jealousy and competition. I am not happy to admit this, even on an anonymous blog, but it is a pattern that I am noticing more and more in myself, especially as I age. When I let myself be, I'm extremely competitive. This works well when I'm competing with myself, for example, to see if I can save more than $X this month, or if I want to run faster or do more pushups, etc. I don't actively seek to compete with others, but where this becomes a problem is when I feel like other people are trying to compete with me. My competitive hackles get up, and I go nuts. [For some reason, mini-golf seems to bring this side out of every uber-competitive person that I know--it is a very weird phenomenon. As a kid, I would get SO ANGRY and frustrated while playing mini-golf that I would cry, pitch a fit and refuse to continue the game if someone was solidly beating me.*]
In my daily life, I'm usually OK--I understand that I can't be the best at everything, and I've certainly had my fair share of ego-checks. Lately, though, there are a few things that I can't seem to let go of. Example: one of my friends is a whole ten years younger than me. She gets paid slightly more than me, but I have ten years and a Master's degree on her, and I have been with the company for almost 2 years longer. We do basically the same job, but mine requires more of my specialized skills (earned through my ten years + degree). Unfair? Totally.
Now, she's a good little worker, she deserves most of that salary (not all of it--but most). I feel that my experience and degree entitles me to a percentage more than she is paid, though.
I found out recently that she is a very competitive person. She admitted it (along with a hate for mini-golf, as mentioned earlier). I also found out earlier this year that she had figured out how much my salary was (I refuse to disclose this information to co-workers, but it is not hard to figure out since our project budgets are in the project files for all to see). Others told me that she admittedly went to my bosses and asked for more than me, just to make more. What?
One more example, on a mini-scale of the one I just gave: we currently have a competition going on at work. It's supposed to be a fun team activity, and she's on my team. She is being uber competitive again, asking how much I've done each day, and then when our final tallies are in, she's always got a few more than me. Again...team competition. Normally I wouldn't care--if she were getting those numbers on her own, good for her, good for our team! But it's this idea that she is using me as her personal barometer to beat that I can't stomach. It's like I was entered into a competition against my will.
This is driving me nuts. I like her generally otherwise and she's basically my only friend in NZ, but I can't stand to hang out with her lately. I feel constantly judged and like she's always trying to get an edge. And I feel like I can't admit that to her because then she would have won that competition of wills, too, like, "I give up, you win. You always beat me at everything, congratulations.". Earlier this week, I found myself scheming of ways to compete back, or to have things that she doesn't have, just to have them, and it makes me ill to think that I'm doing this. Ugh. It is not a pretty trait to have, so I'm trying to think of ways to not care. This is her bugaboo, it doesn't have to be my personal mini-golf game from hell, too.
[*I've since become a mature adult, capable of playing mini-golf without any tantrums.]
In my daily life, I'm usually OK--I understand that I can't be the best at everything, and I've certainly had my fair share of ego-checks. Lately, though, there are a few things that I can't seem to let go of. Example: one of my friends is a whole ten years younger than me. She gets paid slightly more than me, but I have ten years and a Master's degree on her, and I have been with the company for almost 2 years longer. We do basically the same job, but mine requires more of my specialized skills (earned through my ten years + degree). Unfair? Totally.
Now, she's a good little worker, she deserves most of that salary (not all of it--but most). I feel that my experience and degree entitles me to a percentage more than she is paid, though.
I found out recently that she is a very competitive person. She admitted it (along with a hate for mini-golf, as mentioned earlier). I also found out earlier this year that she had figured out how much my salary was (I refuse to disclose this information to co-workers, but it is not hard to figure out since our project budgets are in the project files for all to see). Others told me that she admittedly went to my bosses and asked for more than me, just to make more. What?
One more example, on a mini-scale of the one I just gave: we currently have a competition going on at work. It's supposed to be a fun team activity, and she's on my team. She is being uber competitive again, asking how much I've done each day, and then when our final tallies are in, she's always got a few more than me. Again...team competition. Normally I wouldn't care--if she were getting those numbers on her own, good for her, good for our team! But it's this idea that she is using me as her personal barometer to beat that I can't stomach. It's like I was entered into a competition against my will.
This is driving me nuts. I like her generally otherwise and she's basically my only friend in NZ, but I can't stand to hang out with her lately. I feel constantly judged and like she's always trying to get an edge. And I feel like I can't admit that to her because then she would have won that competition of wills, too, like, "I give up, you win. You always beat me at everything, congratulations.". Earlier this week, I found myself scheming of ways to compete back, or to have things that she doesn't have, just to have them, and it makes me ill to think that I'm doing this. Ugh. It is not a pretty trait to have, so I'm trying to think of ways to not care. This is her bugaboo, it doesn't have to be my personal mini-golf game from hell, too.
[*I've since become a mature adult, capable of playing mini-golf without any tantrums.]
Friday, November 05, 2010
Burnt OUT
Man alive. So my supervisor is back in town and met with me today to go over my Big Scary Talk. About an hour after that was over, I crashed. Hard. It was like I'd been holding my breath and trying to make it until I could present it to her...like I just had to push myself as hard as I could until she saw and approved it. Now, I'm more exhausted than I've been for the past month combined. Somehow, my brain has given my body permission to stop working, catch up on sleep, and relax. What is that?
In reality, though, I have a LOT more to do on the talk. And I only have Mon-Wed of next week to work on it because from next Thursday until the talk, I'm booked with other work. So, I get to go into work this weekend, yet again.
I'm trying to maintain some sort of work-life balance by making myself work out an hour a day and meet up with friends, but it isn't working. All I want to do is sleep! My mantra these days is 'Just make it to December 10.' That is when all of my urgent deadlines for my projects are over. Probably to be replaced with new ones, but...oh well!
In fact--I just remembered--I think I'm planning a trip down to Christchurch in December. A friend's colleague invited me down to help out with some of the earthquake rebuilding they are doing. The colleague would host me at their work AND I'd probably get to link up to a hazards team assessing the affects of the earthquake. This is a fantastic opportunity for me, not only to network into a new field of research, but to feel an earthquake! I've never ever felt one. Christchurch is getting HAMMERED with earthquakes--they've had over 2500 aftershocks since the main jolt on Sept. 4!! Daily, they are getting pretty big earthquakes...how exciting (but exhausting for them--I'd get to leave after a few days)!
Anyway, here's hoping that December is usually an easy month, what with Christmas break and all.
In reality, though, I have a LOT more to do on the talk. And I only have Mon-Wed of next week to work on it because from next Thursday until the talk, I'm booked with other work. So, I get to go into work this weekend, yet again.
I'm trying to maintain some sort of work-life balance by making myself work out an hour a day and meet up with friends, but it isn't working. All I want to do is sleep! My mantra these days is 'Just make it to December 10.' That is when all of my urgent deadlines for my projects are over. Probably to be replaced with new ones, but...oh well!
In fact--I just remembered--I think I'm planning a trip down to Christchurch in December. A friend's colleague invited me down to help out with some of the earthquake rebuilding they are doing. The colleague would host me at their work AND I'd probably get to link up to a hazards team assessing the affects of the earthquake. This is a fantastic opportunity for me, not only to network into a new field of research, but to feel an earthquake! I've never ever felt one. Christchurch is getting HAMMERED with earthquakes--they've had over 2500 aftershocks since the main jolt on Sept. 4!! Daily, they are getting pretty big earthquakes...how exciting (but exhausting for them--I'd get to leave after a few days)!
Anyway, here's hoping that December is usually an easy month, what with Christmas break and all.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Sparkle sparkle Charlie!
Yay! I just found sparklers in NZ. They only sell fireworks for the FOUR days before Guy Fawkes' Day in New Zealand, and today was the first day of that sale. I finally have sparklers to use on the 4th of July! :) Fun for camping, too...hmmm, maybe I'll buy more!
I didn't get to celebrate Halloween, because surprise, surprise, they don't celebrate it here. :/ All I did was go over to my American friends' house and watch Disturbia while eating dinner.
In other news, I have a hot male model from the Philippines staying with me right now. Unfortunately, he likes the men, but luckily, he is super nice and fun to hang out with!
I had an optical migraine today. For those that don't know what that is, feel lucky. I have felt awful all day long.
Also on the health front, my wrist is killing me--carpal tunnel. I am on the computer 15 hours a day for work, though, and that can't change anytime soon. I will def. have to have that surgery eventually.
My talk is...my talk. I think I got out some of my anxiety with that post.
Keeping an eye on the US elections...I tried to absentee ballot but they sent it to the wrong address (again) and I didn't get the ballot in time. I seriously think they rigged it that way on purpose. Sly Republicans...
Sparkle! Sparkle!
I didn't get to celebrate Halloween, because surprise, surprise, they don't celebrate it here. :/ All I did was go over to my American friends' house and watch Disturbia while eating dinner.
In other news, I have a hot male model from the Philippines staying with me right now. Unfortunately, he likes the men, but luckily, he is super nice and fun to hang out with!
I had an optical migraine today. For those that don't know what that is, feel lucky. I have felt awful all day long.
Also on the health front, my wrist is killing me--carpal tunnel. I am on the computer 15 hours a day for work, though, and that can't change anytime soon. I will def. have to have that surgery eventually.
My talk is...my talk. I think I got out some of my anxiety with that post.
Keeping an eye on the US elections...I tried to absentee ballot but they sent it to the wrong address (again) and I didn't get the ballot in time. I seriously think they rigged it that way on purpose. Sly Republicans...
Sparkle! Sparkle!
Monday, November 01, 2010
Public Speaking
It's the number one fear. I think I have some sort of disability, actually, in that the very mention of a talk by anyone makes my stomach flip over and initiates my flight or fight response--I immediately want to run and hide underneath my bed. I worry that I have symptoms of avoidant personality disorder.
My boss mentioned the talk to me back in June--a public talk to over 600 people in a huge auditorium at a conference taking place in a few weeks. This is a big deal. Initially, I sort of brushed it off and thought (hoped) that my abstract wouldn't get accepted, or even better, they'd just downgrade me to a poster presentation due to the small time slot that the conference has and the volume of submissions they get. Poster presentations are much easier to cope with--you just chat with whoever happens to stop at your poster while drinking beer or wine. Sooo much less stress-inducing in comparison.
But I just got put on the talks list--they didn't get enough submissions for talks, so they are actually asking more people to present talks instead of posters this time. Ugh. Part of me wants to plan to be sick that day. Or lose my voice. Or something. I wake up every day now and think, How am I going to do this? or alternately, I want to lose myself in a movie to take my mind off of it. I can't just be still and quiet anymore--it's all consuming.
I was given direction by my boss to put together this talk last July, before I left for my 2 month vacation. Did I work on it? Kind of. I slapped together an outline of the basics, and didn't touch it again until last week.
Why? Because I am 100%, absolutely bat-faced crazy with fear. The thought of it, which is always in the back of my mind, is bringing up every neuroses and procrastinating tool I have in my arsenal. My brain is super-creative when I don't want to do something! I am having serious nightmares about it, and it's over 3 weeks away. How will I be when it is only a week, or a day, or God help me, 5 minutes away?! I am going to be a quivering jelly, sweaty mess. I won't be able to eat for days before. Perhaps I should seek some help. Does anyone have any Xanax I can borrow?
I've tried all the tricks: visualizing doing well, practicing my opening 2 minutes til its memorized, etc. I'm still really scared. But I'll do it, I have to. I have to let go, and just give in. There's no fighting it, I have to be as prepared as I can be so I will feel better about it. That makes sense, right? Then why am I still trying to procrastinate??
Every other work task I have (including the poster for a different boss for the same conference) is done. My rationale (ahem, excuse) was that I wanted to get the littler things out of the way so I could put my full concentration on the talk. Well, it's 5 pm on a Saturday, the deadline to get it done is Monday, and I'm watching movies online. And blogging. Sigh.
The actual putting together of the talk is pretty easy--not the hard task I made it out to be. And fun! I like this kind of work. I just don't like what the end-product means: that I have to publicly speak to an audience of 600 people who will all judge my work. And me. And how good of a scientist I am. This is an international conference, and if I want to get my PhD, or even get a job with the organization that I want in the US, I can't screw this up. I can't. At the same time, I know my skills enough to know that I will get through it, but I will be very obviously nervous and my voice will shake and I may put people to sleep and I may forget a few points because that is just how I do at talks.
In grad school, I took several classes where I had to give a presentation every week. Every year, we all had to take a class on proper scientific talk techniques, and had to give a talk to the entire department--I took that class 4 times. For my Master's degree, I had to give an hour-long oral defense of my project to roughly 60 people (one of my advisors fell asleep during it!). So I've been down this road before--and know that even with weekly practice and annual instruction and review on how to give a good talk, I'm just not an excellent speaker. I haven't given a talk in over a year (and that was to about 15 people), and before that, I hadn't given a talk in 5 years! I'm definitely out of practice. Shoot, I get anxious when I talk in a group of 3 or more people in a casual setting!
I'm also worried about the actual science of this talk. My boss wanted me to do it, but I'm not convinced that the presentation adds anything new--a problem in science. If I were a good speaker, I'd just make the presentation funny and fun with great pictures, but I'm not that kind of speaker. I have to know that my subject matter is a good contribution, and that my knowledge of it is solid. I know neither in this case. I don't think my boss really knows what's up sometimes.
In conclusion, I will get through this, but if I freak out in more posts, it is because thoughts of this are all-consuming. I'm freaked out. I mean: 600 people. Me. Freaked.
My boss mentioned the talk to me back in June--a public talk to over 600 people in a huge auditorium at a conference taking place in a few weeks. This is a big deal. Initially, I sort of brushed it off and thought (hoped) that my abstract wouldn't get accepted, or even better, they'd just downgrade me to a poster presentation due to the small time slot that the conference has and the volume of submissions they get. Poster presentations are much easier to cope with--you just chat with whoever happens to stop at your poster while drinking beer or wine. Sooo much less stress-inducing in comparison.
But I just got put on the talks list--they didn't get enough submissions for talks, so they are actually asking more people to present talks instead of posters this time. Ugh. Part of me wants to plan to be sick that day. Or lose my voice. Or something. I wake up every day now and think, How am I going to do this? or alternately, I want to lose myself in a movie to take my mind off of it. I can't just be still and quiet anymore--it's all consuming.
I was given direction by my boss to put together this talk last July, before I left for my 2 month vacation. Did I work on it? Kind of. I slapped together an outline of the basics, and didn't touch it again until last week.
Why? Because I am 100%, absolutely bat-faced crazy with fear. The thought of it, which is always in the back of my mind, is bringing up every neuroses and procrastinating tool I have in my arsenal. My brain is super-creative when I don't want to do something! I am having serious nightmares about it, and it's over 3 weeks away. How will I be when it is only a week, or a day, or God help me, 5 minutes away?! I am going to be a quivering jelly, sweaty mess. I won't be able to eat for days before. Perhaps I should seek some help. Does anyone have any Xanax I can borrow?
I've tried all the tricks: visualizing doing well, practicing my opening 2 minutes til its memorized, etc. I'm still really scared. But I'll do it, I have to. I have to let go, and just give in. There's no fighting it, I have to be as prepared as I can be so I will feel better about it. That makes sense, right? Then why am I still trying to procrastinate??
Every other work task I have (including the poster for a different boss for the same conference) is done. My rationale (ahem, excuse) was that I wanted to get the littler things out of the way so I could put my full concentration on the talk. Well, it's 5 pm on a Saturday, the deadline to get it done is Monday, and I'm watching movies online. And blogging. Sigh.
The actual putting together of the talk is pretty easy--not the hard task I made it out to be. And fun! I like this kind of work. I just don't like what the end-product means: that I have to publicly speak to an audience of 600 people who will all judge my work. And me. And how good of a scientist I am. This is an international conference, and if I want to get my PhD, or even get a job with the organization that I want in the US, I can't screw this up. I can't. At the same time, I know my skills enough to know that I will get through it, but I will be very obviously nervous and my voice will shake and I may put people to sleep and I may forget a few points because that is just how I do at talks.
In grad school, I took several classes where I had to give a presentation every week. Every year, we all had to take a class on proper scientific talk techniques, and had to give a talk to the entire department--I took that class 4 times. For my Master's degree, I had to give an hour-long oral defense of my project to roughly 60 people (one of my advisors fell asleep during it!). So I've been down this road before--and know that even with weekly practice and annual instruction and review on how to give a good talk, I'm just not an excellent speaker. I haven't given a talk in over a year (and that was to about 15 people), and before that, I hadn't given a talk in 5 years! I'm definitely out of practice. Shoot, I get anxious when I talk in a group of 3 or more people in a casual setting!
I'm also worried about the actual science of this talk. My boss wanted me to do it, but I'm not convinced that the presentation adds anything new--a problem in science. If I were a good speaker, I'd just make the presentation funny and fun with great pictures, but I'm not that kind of speaker. I have to know that my subject matter is a good contribution, and that my knowledge of it is solid. I know neither in this case. I don't think my boss really knows what's up sometimes.
In conclusion, I will get through this, but if I freak out in more posts, it is because thoughts of this are all-consuming. I'm freaked out. I mean: 600 people. Me. Freaked.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
One Day To Go
There's only one day left in October, and my spending is pretty much set. This month's goal was to save $3K, and I knocked that out pretty easily due to the three-paycheck month. Spending was overbudget, yes, however this was mostly because I counted my charity project money towards spending. Here's how it breaks down--I don't anticipate it changing much.
[edit: $2,425.05 in spending; decided not to count the $100 in cash I took out as spending.]
Income this month from paychecks equaled $4,785.87. I had an overage of $850 from last month, which also counts toward my income, bringing it to $5,635.87. If my roommate ever gets herself together and pays me what she owes me for the use of the garage, I could have up to another $80 in income for October.
Rent: $840. As usual. Right on target.
Groceries: $428.71. With the GST increase, stores had to re-label all of their items. I think they also took the opportunity to increase their prices more than the 2.5% GST increase warranted.
Internet & Electricity: $51.65 and $79.12. I'm hoping both of these go down as summer approaches and we're either out of the house more or letting the natural sunlight filter in through the windows.
Eating Out: $42.50. Got Thai takeout twice and Sal's pizza another night.
Charity: $297.67. Donated the bulk of that money towards Drop In The Bucket and the rest to Kiva.
Cell Phone: $101.94. Special case--my old cell phone, given to my by my XBF in 2008 when he bought an iPhone, wouldn't charge anymore due to corrosion. I hated that phone anyway. I bought a new one on ebay for $81.94. It has lots of awesome features like FM radio and a camera, so I'm happy. I also topped up my Vodafone account with $20.
Medical: $6. Went to the Dr and paid $6 for two prescriptions. Love NZ!
Misc: $677.46. This is over budget, but I bought several items that have been on my Wish List with the overage from last month. I also bought items to help me get healthy: workout pants, several fitness classes, a concession card. Here's the breakdown:
Transportation: $3.30. Various busfares.
Gifts: $45.86. Friend's birthday cards, a 2011 NZ scenic calendar, Dad's birthday card, $30 USD for 6 movie tickets for my dad for his birthday, bought through Groupon.
Fitness: $160.70. Several Zumba classes, yoga, and other dance classes. $22 for workout pants. A 10 class concession card good for a year (still have 8 classes left on it).
Goods and Wants: $429.61. The biggie here is a $201.39 for REI hoodie and field pants that have been on my Wish List for a year or so. I also took out $100 worth of cash. I'm still unsure of how to count this in my budget, since I haven't actually spent it yet, but it will deplete the amount of money that I can transfer into my savings account [edit: decided not to count it as 'spent'--because it's not!]. I spent the rest of the money on tennis balls, a light hoodie, a haircut, nail polish remover, fairy lights, a storage bin, a Chinese lantern for my room, and Natures Organics Care brand Shampoo, Conditioner, and Body Wash (I love this brand! It's from Australia and sooo cheap compared to all the other name-brand toiletries, plus it doesn't have many of the bad chemicals and the packaging is made from corn).
Savings: $3,000. This also includes the $340 I save each month to Long Term goals. This figure is approximate, as I still have ~$3,110 left over from my income after expenses and I still don't know if my roommate will pay me. In any case, I have almost enough surplus to knock out my $3K Family Emergency Fund (see sidebar).
Next on the goal list is to start filling up that $5K Move To America Fund. This will pay for shipping items form NZ, start up costs such as security deposits, and go toward new furniture and a car, as well as anything else I'll need to start over my new life in America in a few years. After that, I'm not sure what to save up for: I'll have everything I'll need and want and can possibly plan for. Perhaps I'll make a plan to travel the world while I'm between continents? Get LASIK? Get carpal tunnel release surgery? save up for laser hair removal? a maid? Personal trainer/gym? Cooking classes? Flying lessons? Save up to get a PhD? Take more classes? Give more to charity? Update my wardrobe?? I regularly have $400-$600 leftover each month...I need to have goals for the money so I have some motivation to not spend it frivolously!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Rampage
WHERE CAN I BUY HALLOWEEN CANDY IN NZ?!I'm going a little crazy. A colleague brought in candy corn to work this week, and I'm hooked. I went to go buy a bag today, but there's nothing in the Warehouse or New World. I asked for the 'Halloween candy display' in both stores and got a blank stare. Where did the candy corn come from?!?
I'm dying!
[Image from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_corn by Willc2, used under Creative Common license.]
Time To Live Alone?
I don't know what is going on with me lately, but for the past few months, I've been really annoyed at my roommate. Even before the garage debacle, things were building up. Now? I just find myself avoiding her and going into my room straight after getting home. I work out, make dinner, eat it at my desk in my room while working or watching TV online, shower, and then retreat back to my room. Over and over. I just can't handle socialization sometimes...a lot of times, lately.
Things just build up, and like a bad marriage, I just get so angry at the tiniest little things. I have certain 'rules' about the way that I live and maintain my household, and while I don't expect everyone to adhere to them 24-7, 100% of the time, I do expect a base level of decency.
I feel like I told her my trigger issues when she moved in, but she still does them! Even with reminders! Can I just vent and list the things here and you can tell me if I'm being crazy?
Things just build up, and like a bad marriage, I just get so angry at the tiniest little things. I have certain 'rules' about the way that I live and maintain my household, and while I don't expect everyone to adhere to them 24-7, 100% of the time, I do expect a base level of decency.
I feel like I told her my trigger issues when she moved in, but she still does them! Even with reminders! Can I just vent and list the things here and you can tell me if I'm being crazy?
- leaves dishes out for DAYS at a time. Days. I will wash a roommate's dishes once in a while to be nice, but not every day. My rule for myself is I wash them within 24 hours of dirtying, unless I have an extremely busy and/or forgetful day. Even with that rule, my dishes are usually washed within 2-3 hours of the meal. Exceptions are when I have a late night snack--I do those dishes the next morning. When I left my breakfast dishes in the sink the other day because I needed to get to work, I sent her a text to apologize for the mess and said I'd clean them when I got home. Courtesy.
- Likewise, doesn't wipe the counters after preparing a meal. No one is that clean.
- does not clear out the dryer lint. EVER. OMG, this is my #1 pet peeve!!! (How weird is that?) I came home from my 2 month trip, and the lint trap was choking. She clearly hadn't cleaned it in 2 months!!! When we got the dryer, I told her how important it was for fire hazard & energy efficiency reasons (and for my sanity) for her to clear it out every time. A few weeks ago, I showed her AGAIN how to do it and told her that it could catch fire. Did she start cleaning it? N.O.
- she is scared of the garbage disposal, yet uses it and in fact throws things down it that she knows cannot go down it. Again, this was made clear when she moved in: no citrus peels, it'll break it. Today I found a teaspoon in it. Now, I am totally frightened of the thing, having seen too many gory scary movies, but I don't let that stop me from fixing it. She also doesn't turn it on. EVER. It just fills up and stinks up the place all day. Grrr.
- I recently discovered that she turns on the shower and lets it run for 15 minutes before even getting in. WHY????? All it does is confuse me, because I think she's in the bathroom and that the bathroom is therefore unavailable, when in fact, it IS available. Not to mention the wasted hot water/electricity. The shower curtain gets mildewy because she crumples it up in one corner after showering, and she drops water all over the floor, so I can't wear socks in there. I get so grossed out by wet socks...(I know the last two sentences are totally nitpicky.)
- Likewise, when I get home, EVERY light in the entire apartment is on, regardless of the room she is sitting in. Kitchen, bathroom, entry way, balcony, living room, her room, doesn't matter--they are all on, sucking up energy and wasting our electricity. Particularly disturbing is that the living room lights are on the ceiling, which is 20 feet high and therefore completely inaccessible to either of us shorties. Once those lights go out, we aren't getting them replaced for months, until my landlord's fixit guy can come over, and one of us is home.
- lack of guest warning etiquette. Particularly when guys are over, I need to get a warning so I can not walk into the kitchen in my white tank and short pajama shorts with no bra on, like I did last week when two of her guy friends came in the apartment at 11:30 pm on a Wednesday. AWKWARD. And her boyfriend is always coming over at random times nowadays. I don't mind him now, but when they first started dating, there was zero warning that there was a guy in the apartment that I didn't know. ZERO. My roommate was in the shower one morning (I saw her enter the bathroom while going to the kitchen), and while preparing my breakfast, I hear a noise that is decidedly NOT coming from the bathroom and then a guy walks into my living room. Had never met him before, ever. And he's in my house at 6:30 am. NOT COOL.
- never takes out the garbage bins to the curb. never ever. when she does take out the trash, she puts it in other people's bins.
- I guess I shouldn't complain about this in the face of the other issues, but she has weird cleaning habits. Like, I have a face towel I use every. single. day. I get it wet every morning, and hang it on the hook to dry. Every day, it is back in the cabinet, and I have to take it out. Every. day. Why on earth is she wasting time folding it and putting it away when I obviously use it daily?!
- I swear she uses a third of the toilet paper roll every time she uses it. The roll is changed every other day. It ain't me using it all up! I use like two squares to pee! I don't want to be a total TP Nazi about it, but sheesh, I refuse to buy nice TP if it is wasted like that.
- She wads up TP & overflows the bathroom trash (a ha! the mystery is solved), why not put it in the toilet instead of on the floor?! And why not put a plastic bag in the bathroom trash to control the germs?
Oh man, there are so many more of these. I think that, as much as I love my apartment and sharing rent and utilities expenses, I need to seriously consider living on my own when she moves out. Given the situation with her boyfriend, I think it is only a matter of time before they move in together--I give it 6 months before this happens! Especially if she has similar complaints about me or my nagging to correct the above.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Nerd Alert
Something good is coming out of the new SuperCity merge: access to more library books!! I've always found the Auckland City Library's selection somewhat sad and outdated compared to the selection in libraries in the US, so this is great news! From an email:
"From 1 November library services across the Auckland region are merging and you'll immediately have access to 55 libraries and approximately 3.5million items including fiction and non fiction books, CDs, DVD's, games, audio books, foreign language and reference materials, plus over 100 databases providing access to the world's information."
I'm an avid reader, but too frugal to buy books at $30 a pop (yes, that's paperback), so I only read books from the library. Lately I've been on a self-help kick: pulling books about nutritional health, how to cook, how to meditate, Getting Things Done, 4-Hour Workweek, etc. Along with the self help books, I usually grab a few fiction items--usually a book from the classics section to keep my brain working, and a few fluffly (yes, FLUFFLY) chick lit books. My faves are the ones about 20 or 30 something ladies trying to juggle relationships, career, money...sounds familiar, eh? If they throw in an element of magic, even better (going back in time? seeing what life would be like if you made the OTHER choice? YES.) Lauren Weisberger, Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, Kathleen De Marco (Cranberry Queen), Sarah Mlynowski, Karyn Bosnak (see sidebar for her blog, Pretty In The City...she's hilarious and I've followed her since Save Karyn--that book actually was the one that got me into personal finance and inspired me to get debt-free in 2004!).
Soooo...any book recommendations? Because I now may have access to it!
"From 1 November library services across the Auckland region are merging and you'll immediately have access to 55 libraries and approximately 3.5million items including fiction and non fiction books, CDs, DVD's, games, audio books, foreign language and reference materials, plus over 100 databases providing access to the world's information."
I'm an avid reader, but too frugal to buy books at $30 a pop (yes, that's paperback), so I only read books from the library. Lately I've been on a self-help kick: pulling books about nutritional health, how to cook, how to meditate, Getting Things Done, 4-Hour Workweek, etc. Along with the self help books, I usually grab a few fiction items--usually a book from the classics section to keep my brain working, and a few fluffly (yes, FLUFFLY) chick lit books. My faves are the ones about 20 or 30 something ladies trying to juggle relationships, career, money...sounds familiar, eh? If they throw in an element of magic, even better (going back in time? seeing what life would be like if you made the OTHER choice? YES.) Lauren Weisberger, Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, Kathleen De Marco (Cranberry Queen), Sarah Mlynowski, Karyn Bosnak (see sidebar for her blog, Pretty In The City...she's hilarious and I've followed her since Save Karyn--that book actually was the one that got me into personal finance and inspired me to get debt-free in 2004!).
Soooo...any book recommendations? Because I now may have access to it!
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