While I was away my PhD scholarship ended. I wasn't informed, I just thought they weren't paying me because I had suspended my PhD.
My work hours this year were cut back to 0.3 FTE so I could focus on my PhD now. I had been counting on the PhD scholarship in my budget.
So I'm screwed financially.
And Dad is declining again.
Everything just keeps getting worse.
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
Friday, July 17, 2020
Everything is STILL a Mess
Hi everyone.
So, since my last few posts, I've spent over 3 months in the US.
It was bad.
Dad suffered another attack of not being able to breathe. I'll never forget the horror and helplessness. He had pneumonia again and was intubated again. This time he was in the hospital for about 2 weeks before coming back home. But now he can't walk. And he cannot control anything, including when he uses the bathroom. His heart function plummeted from about 40% to 10%. He has to wear a heart monitor/vest that shocks him back to life when his heart rate gets wonky.
It is a lot of work to take care of another human person. There is a nurse that comes by, and physical therapist, but that just introduces more ways for my dad (and mom/sis) to get the virus. It's a terrible catch-22.
I am in NZ now. I left to finish my PhD, start work again, and keep my apartment. Also to go some place safer from COVID-19.
I feel broken and sad and terrible. I feel selfish and awful. There is a very high likelihood that I'll never see my dad ever again. I worry that I'll never see my mom and sister again.
My finances are a mess. I spent so much money getting back to the US and isolating:
$2K USD for a one way flight
$50 for an uber to a hotel
$1600 for a hotel room for 2 weeks to protect my mom/dad/sis from me after traveling through the US
$300 in groceries and food while in the hotel room
$1K setting up a desk and computer in my room at home so I could work
The list goes on and on.
Meanwhile my job was cut in half and my PhD is suspended so I have about a third of the income I used to (which wasn't that high to begin with!).
Oh well. If my dad nearly dying twice during a pandemic isn't an emergency, I really dunno what is.
I will look at my finances again later. I just can't handle it right now.
So, since my last few posts, I've spent over 3 months in the US.
It was bad.
Dad suffered another attack of not being able to breathe. I'll never forget the horror and helplessness. He had pneumonia again and was intubated again. This time he was in the hospital for about 2 weeks before coming back home. But now he can't walk. And he cannot control anything, including when he uses the bathroom. His heart function plummeted from about 40% to 10%. He has to wear a heart monitor/vest that shocks him back to life when his heart rate gets wonky.
It is a lot of work to take care of another human person. There is a nurse that comes by, and physical therapist, but that just introduces more ways for my dad (and mom/sis) to get the virus. It's a terrible catch-22.
I am in NZ now. I left to finish my PhD, start work again, and keep my apartment. Also to go some place safer from COVID-19.
I feel broken and sad and terrible. I feel selfish and awful. There is a very high likelihood that I'll never see my dad ever again. I worry that I'll never see my mom and sister again.
My finances are a mess. I spent so much money getting back to the US and isolating:
$2K USD for a one way flight
$50 for an uber to a hotel
$1600 for a hotel room for 2 weeks to protect my mom/dad/sis from me after traveling through the US
$300 in groceries and food while in the hotel room
$1K setting up a desk and computer in my room at home so I could work
The list goes on and on.
Meanwhile my job was cut in half and my PhD is suspended so I have about a third of the income I used to (which wasn't that high to begin with!).
Oh well. If my dad nearly dying twice during a pandemic isn't an emergency, I really dunno what is.
I will look at my finances again later. I just can't handle it right now.
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