August 2026 Budget: Chaos Reigns

August 2026 Budget

In a word: horrible. It was the last month of 0.7 FTE post-doc income, so things were still very comfortable, financially. But everything else was just...STRESS: 

• Losing my 18 year 0.3 FTE job, liaising with a union rep, deciding what to do, if I'm going to fight and how far I'm willing to take it - all the while continuing to do the job and not getting paid for it(!),
• difficult thesis revisions due on 2 October, but it is not clear what emails, file storage, software and library resources will still be available after 31 August once my post-doc contract ends (and therefore official access to everything Uni-related), so fighting with the IT people and my dept admin to get a straight answer - but they all conflict, of COURSE. Making back up plans to get these resources from the Uni for free so I can literally finish my GODDAMN PhD, 
• backing up 18 year's worth of emails that I was about to lose and uploading them to my Uni google email account (they let students keep that indefinitely), 
• changing all my professional email accounts to be associated with a new email address, 
• testing and figuring out how I could maintain access to all 18 year's worth of files and documents on our project shared drive, 
• organising and clearing out my office, 
• finalising a side research project I'm using to train up my RA team, but the data is looking bad and the machine tech is super defensive about it so having to stroke his ego to get anything done, 
• counseling and trying to be there for a friend about to go through a major surgery, doing the same for a friend going through a terrible break up, and the same again for a friend who is about to lose her dad to kidney disease but they have a very complicated and harrowing relationship,
• dealing with my own grief and complicated feelings about my PhD after losing my dad
• trying to finish up post-doc fieldwork, labwork, process the data, start writing the paper and liaising with colleagues, presenting that work to the public,  
• dealing with low iron (it was 9), getting that sorted, as well as a CT scan I needed to deal with to confirm what I think now was a kidney stone attack back in May, while also dealing with perimenopause symptoms being extreme. I was having like 30 hot flashes a day for weeks, super duper unpleasant,
• packing up and getting ready for my US trip,
• dealing with my flatmate's new boyfriend, who is a walking red flag, 
• oh yeah and just basic living: feeding and cleaning myself and my environment 

It's all super exhausting and I just don't have the bandwidth to explain in any more detail here.

Income: $4,613.55

Salary: $4,257.44

Lending Crowd repayments: $26.92

Zagga repayments: $4.19

Garage rent: $365 

Spending: $4,050.67 (87.8%)

Remainder: $562.88 (kept in my banking account to use post-August when I don't have any income or employment) 

Spending categories (budgeted amount in parentheses):

Rent: $1,100 

Groceries: $399.79 ($500) - lower than usual due to high eating out spending this month - STRESS

Electricity & Internet: $170.93 ($200) - flatmate paid half

Eating out: $375.16 ($250) - very over budget. Things are stressful. I relied on the campus's Tank franchise for dinner and a smoothie treat way too often: 4 times I got a small banana and strawberry smoothie and a half green guac wrap - at $21.70 to $27 a pop. 3x McDonalds @ $16.30 - $24.20 each time. $31.71 for Sal's pizza once. $56.92 for dinner out with visiting friends from overseas at Szimpla. $0 for dinnner at Wynyard Pavilion with friends after doing a walking murder mystery thing around Auckand - fun! I had a $60 voucher for the restaurant for winning 2nd place during my birthday Pubble thingie there. I also got my usual Subway for the plane - $9. I took two friends out for a delicious Thai dinner and dessert after they helped me move and clean everything out of my office after losing my job - $124.03

Charity: $305 ($60) - $100 and $65 to two coastguard charity lottos; $110 to the Green Party of NZ (its an election year and someone was matching donations); $30 to the heart association charity lotto. 

Cell phone: $17 ($20) - Skinny topup

Medical: $490.04 ($100) -  Southern Cross premium ($237.49); $16.50 for Buccaline to try to ward off catching an infection on my flights; $219.52 for the nurse's appointment for my ferritin IV; $16.53 for taxes on my ferritin IV (it was way more but most of it was budgeted for last month). 

Misc: $1,142.75 ($1K)

alcohol: $0 

entertainment: $0 

self care: $252.48 - $66.63 for a hair cut and wash; $56.38 for a pedicure ahead of my US trip - it's sandals season in the US!; $68.27 for a brow wax and tint; lash tint; and chin wax; $61.20 for a 30 min massage.

fees: $17.50 - $10 fee for Cityhop membership; $7.50 for parking fees for friend's car while helping me clean out my office

gifts: $457.77 - $59.91 for whittakers chocolate for family in US; $169 for an nz geo subscription for friend coming to visit me in Feb; $195.35 for kiwi gifts for family; $33.51 for more gifts. 

goods and wants: $121.99 - $11.99 replacement shelf insert (didn't end up fitting, no returns sadly); $110 for a new hoodie and sweatpants set for the plane. 

transportation: $209.86 - flamingo or lime scooters x 16. 3x Zilch car share for the evening.

travel: $83.15 - for super shuttle to and from the airport

Savings and Funds Activity Update

• Since I've met all of my short- and medium-term savings goals, I'm no longer saving money, just investing it. 
  
  If the FIF limit increases later this year, I'll be investing a large chunk of my savings within my US brokerage account.
  
  
• My Squirrel balance sits at about $61.6K, with $9,101.54 of that invested in various peer-to-peer loans at $100 each at 5% to 5.5% p.a. 
  
  
• I keep investing in peer to peer loans since I do not have another vehicle in NZ. They seem to get paid off faster than I can invest $100 at a time, though. 
  
  
• I have about $95K in Rabobank earning between 1.55 and 2.7% p.a. 
  
  
• I have one Zagga investment ($1K total). It gets paid off at like $10 per month. I cannot figure out how to track how much I'm still owed, etc. as the platform does a terrible job at showing me those figures (or they are not available. This was a trial and I do not think I'll be investing more money using this platform in the future. 
   
• I am (still) waiting for Lending Crowd to start up again.
  
  
  

Net Worth Tracking

NZ Savings (cash): $147,559.07 NZD. This does not include investments in peer to peer loans.

Peer to peer lending: $10,336.94 (Zagga, Squirrel, open principal at Lending Crowd)

• LendingCrowd: $335.40 NZD - principal still owed, repaid with interest in weekly installments
• Zagga: ~$930 NZD 
• Squirrel: $9,101.54 NZD

Kiwisaver: $146,247.59 NZD - this is down right now

US investments: $83,374.04 USD (includes SoFi Berkshire Hathaway and Vanguard taxable, Roth, and Traditional IRAs)

Total Net Worth - NEW METHOD (August 2026): $362,182.24 NZD

I now only count long-term savings and investments in my Net Worth. This month's NW represents an increase of $7,170.70 NZD since last month, and an increase of $59,888.26 NZD since the beginning of the year. 

What is counted in my Net Worth now: 

• $60K NZD Former House Down Payment Fund (I will drip feed this into US investments)
• Kiwisaver (NZ retirement)
• Roth IRA
• Traditional IRA
• Berkshire Hathaway investment fund (non-dividend yield fund)
• Non-retirement investment account
  
  
  

FIF Tracking

NZ restricts foreign investments to $50,000 NZD (cost basis), otherwise you end up paying lots of NZ tax each year on it - 5% of the total value of the investments each year, regardless if you sold any shares or not. That sounds horrible and complicated, so I am tracking the cost basis of investments in my US brokerage account (I invested in my IRAs prior to moving to NZ and retirement accounts are exempt from the FIF), so I do not go over.

To avoid accidentally going over, I have turned off automatic reinvesting of any dividends and capital gains. Those go into a settlement fund account (not money market fund) at Vanguard, where I will have more control over when they get invested and be able to track them better. 

Some hopeful news here: the current NZ government has said it will increase the FIF threshold to $100K, and also change how the tax is levied if you go over the FIF 'de minimus' threshold. The changes would mean I could not only invest more than $50K NZD (cost basis) but also exceed the $100K FIF threshold and only pay tax if I sold the investments:

"This expansion would also allow all New Zealand residents who are subject to double tax due to citizenship or right to work in another country (primarily migrants from the United States) to use the RAM for their listed shares as well, regardless of the date they migrated. This is known as the extended RAM and is required because tax paid under traditional FIF calculation methods may not be creditable against United States taxes." 

This would be AMAZING for my ability to invest, as I cannot invest from NZ without running into PFIC issues which would require complicated US tax forms that accountants charge thousands and thousands of dollars to fill out each year. 

Crossed fingers that the current NZ government does something good for once. They are mostly good-for-nothings right now.

Cost basis value of US investments in NZD: $34,165.24

Able to invest without hitting FIF in NZD: $15,834.76 ($50K limit currently)

 

July 2026 Budget: Surprisingly Stable Spending and Saving at 0.7 FTE

July 2026 Budget

I went down to 0.7 FTE this month, but received an annual leave payout for my 0.3 FTE contract that "ended." (In quotes because I'm still doing that job.) Things are still very comfortable. I have not noticed the pay decrease at all, mostly because I am only paying 35% of the total weekly rent now that I have a flatmate paying 55% (the rest is covered by the garage carpark renter).

Income: $5,540.73

Salary: $5,208.48

Lending Crowd repayments: $62.63

Zagga repayments: $9.62

Garage rent: $260 

Spending: $3,931.23 (71.0%)

Remainder: $1,609.50 ($2020 NZD was transferred to US brokerage account - I have over $6K NZD in my checking account somehow; $1184 USD will be invested)

Spending categories (budgeted amount in parentheses):

Rent: $1,375 - It was a 5 Friday month meaning I had to pay 5x rent instead of the usual 4x ($210 per week).

Groceries: $423.61 ($500) - lower than usual due to high eating out spending this month

Electricity & Internet: $291.22 ($200) - very over budget because I paid this alone and it was COLD

Eating out: $319.91 ($250) - very over budget. Things are stressful, and I often don't feel like interacting with my flatmate if they are in the kitchen/living room, so I end up grabbing food on the way home and eating in my room instead sometimes. It's a one-two punch that inflates my spending in this category. $32 at Twisted Tomato with a friend at brunch; $20.10 at subway; 3x McDonalds when i had a car ($51.40); $41.43 for pizza from Sal's on my birthday; $66.60 for Burger Fuel; $29.90 for pasta from DeNiro Italian restaurant; $42.80 for a burger and salad from Wynyard Pavilion for my birthday dinner; $13.98 for a smoothie and wrap from Tank.

Charity: $0 ($60) - no charity this month

Cell phone: $23 ($20) - Skinny topup

Medical: $890.84 ($100) -  Southern Cross premium ($237.49); $117.97 for Mg, Vit D, and Fiber + Probiotic supplements; $20 for a blood test; $470 for a ferritin IV 

Misc: $557.65 ($1K)

alcohol: $0 

entertainment: $0 

self care: $81.60 - for a massage

fees: $57.50 - $10 fee for Cityhop membership; $40 for chatgpt monthly fee; $7.50 for parking fees for Auckland Museum

gifts: $249.24 - $76.50 for flowers and treats for a friend's housewarming gift; $111.50 for thank you cards and gifts from Auckland Museum for family who sent me cards and money for my PhD defense; $30.92 for stamps and envelope to send gifts to family; $30.32 for postage to mail package

goods and wants: $74 - hoodie, arm cuffs, and eye masks from kmart

transportation: $95.31 - flamingo or lime scooters x 5. $79.01 cityhop car for 1 day.

travel: $0 - 

Savings and Funds Activity Update

• Since I've met all of my short- and medium-term savings goals, I'm no longer saving money, just investing it. It is super duper boring (post on this soon).
   
• My mom gave me a $10K USD inheritance from my dad's estate this month. I'll use that money to fund my new laptop, phone, and 'fun stuff' for my sister and I to do while I'm home. In previous years when I came home, my dad would gave me his credit card with strict instructions to "GO HAVE FUN" - we used it for everything from filling up the gas tank to lunches and dinners out to buying my sister some nice, classy clothes that my dad wanted to see her in. I do not expect my mom will do the same. So I will use that inheritance to honor him and do our usual fun activities while at home this year. I miss him so very much and want to honor him by doing things I know he'd love us doing as much as possible. I'm so sad I didn't fully appreciate him while he was alive.
  
  If the FIF limit increases later this year (see bottom of post for info about that), I will invest whatever is leftover from the $10K after my trip.
  
  
• My Squirrel balance sits at about $61.6K, with $8,939.89 of that invested in various peer-to-peer loans at $100 each at 4.75% to 6.5% p.a. 
  
  
• I keep investing in peer to peer loans since I do not have another vehicle in NZ. They seem to get paid off faster than I can invest $100 at a time, though. I'm also only investing in the construction loans at Squirrel for now since my Home Loan % seems to be out of balance (much higher) with the Construction Loans. 
  
  
• I have about $94.8K in Rabobank earning between 1.3 and 2.55% p.a. 
  
  
• I have one Zagga investment ($1K total). It gets paid off at like $10 per month. I cannot figure out how to track how much I'm still owed, etc. as the platform does a terrible job at showing me those figures (or they are not available. This was a trial and I do not think I'll be investing more money using this platform in the future. 
   
• I am (still) waiting for Lending Crowd to start up again.
  
  
  

Net Worth Tracking

NZ Savings (cash): $147,439.54 NZD. This does not include investments in peer to peer loans.

Peer to peer lending: $10,207.83 (Zagga, Squirrel, open principal at Lending Crowd)

• LendingCrowd: $427.62 NZD - principal still owed, repaid with interest in weekly installments
• Zagga: ~$930 NZD 
• Squirrel: $7,792 NZD

Kiwisaver: $141,118.57 NZD - this is down right now

US investments: $80,956.47 USD (includes SoFi Berkshire Hathaway and Vanguard taxable, Roth, and Traditional IRAs)

Total Net Worth - NEW METHOD (July 2026): $355,011.54 NZD

I now only count long-term savings and investments in my Net Worth. This month's NW represents an increase of $16,548.86 NZD since last month, and an increase of $52,717.57 NZD since the beginning of the year. 

What is counted in my Net Worth now: 

• $60K NZD Former House Down Payment Fund (I will drip feed this into US investments)
• Kiwisaver (NZ retirement)
• Roth IRA
• Traditional IRA
• Berkshire Hathaway investment fund (non-dividend yield fund)
• Non-retirement investment account
  
  
  

FIF Tracking

NZ restricts foreign investments to $50,000 NZD (cost basis), otherwise you end up paying lots of NZ tax each year on it - 5% of the total value of the investments each year, regardless if you sold any shares or not. That sounds horrible and complicated, so I am tracking the cost basis of investments in my US brokerage account (I invested in my IRAs prior to moving to NZ and retirement accounts are exempt from the FIF), so I do not go over.

To avoid accidentally going over, I have turned off automatic reinvesting of any dividends and capital gains. Those go into a settlement fund account (not money market fund) at Vanguard, where I will have more control over when they get invested and be able to track them better. 

Some hopeful news here: the current NZ government has said it will increase the FIF threshold to $100K, and also change how the tax is levied if you go over the FIF 'de minimus' threshold. The changes would mean I could not only invest more than $50K NZD (cost basis) but also exceed the $100K FIF threshold and only pay tax if I sold the investments:

"This expansion would also allow all New Zealand residents who are subject to double tax due to citizenship or right to work in another country (primarily migrants from the United States) to use the RAM for their listed shares as well, regardless of the date they migrated. This is known as the extended RAM and is required because tax paid under traditional FIF calculation methods may not be creditable against United States taxes." 

This would be AMAZING for my ability to invest, as I cannot invest from NZ without running into PFIC issues which would require complicated US tax forms that accountants charge thousands and thousands of dollars to fill out each year. 

Crossed fingers that the current NZ government does something good for once. They are mostly good-for-nothings right now.

Cost basis value of US investments in NZD: $32,050.85

Able to invest without hitting FIF in NZD: $17,949.15 ($50K limit currently)

 

July 2026 Life Update

These are getting very long so I've broken my usual monthly update post into two: a Life Update and my detailed monthly budget and spending accounting.

Life Update

GRIEF

• No real update here, so I'll repeat last month's update (again): This continues to be the centerpiece of my life. It is my immediate feeling when I wake up, as I go about my day, and as I drift off to sleep. It permeates everything. I think it may be getting worse as reality sinks in. A true living nightmare. I do not think it is getting better. If anything, the loss is compounding as the things I wish I could tell him or talk to him about pile up.
  
  
• July was the eighth full month without my dad, and my first ever birthday in my life without my father. I'm SO LUCKY I have so many people around me wanting to celebrate my milestones, but my heart just feels sadness about the one key missing person not able to be there.
  
  
• During every weekly phone call with my Mom and sister, I still bring him up at least once. Sometimes I just need to say his name and for other people to tell me they miss him just as much as I do. I just want him involved in the conversation as usual, I guess. Even though I'm atheist/agnostic, in case he is somehow able to listen, I need him to know he is still a part of our lives and thoughts. 
  
  He'd normally be interrupting and dominating the conversation. It's a bit boring and quiet and rote without him, and I miss his boisterous, sometimes obnoxious energy so much. It's just all so hard.
  
  
• I'm still sad that my Mom will be selling my childhood home in the next year or so.

 

PhD & WORK 

• I haven't even started on the hard tasks for my PhD revisions. I keep procrastinating it. I hate it so much. That should motivate me to get it done but it just does the opposite. I will be turning in whatever I have on 31 August and just telling my supervisor that is the best I can do. I will not be working on it anymore. If it means I don't get the PhD at this last hurdle, whatever. I do not care anymore.
   
  
• I am still in a legal battle with my employer. But I have not heard from them, nor my union rep, since my last update! I have left it as I am scared and had so many other things to do. But it is time to contact my rep again to discuss next steps. I'm now ready to take it all the way to the courts. They are making me extremely angry. 
  
  It is purely a nonsensical HR policy thing preventing me from continuing my funded job. I therefore want the EXACT policy and law they are basing their decision on, but they have never provided it. At the VERY LEAST, after 18 years, I feel that HR owes me some answers. 
  
  My boss keeps assigning me work, meeting me, etc. like normal. I am working for free now, though. 
  
  Someone at my project's partner organisation is trying to get me hired instead. They keep saying everything looks positive, but nothing concrete has come through yet. I will take a 1/3 paycut if it goes through, but it is my favorite thing in the world so I think it is worth it. And I'll have a ton of free time to improve my health over the 8 months the contract would be for. If it goes through, I'll very much look forward to that.
   
  I'm not holding my breath for either the union rep to get results nor the hiring at the other organisation to come through, but I appreciate all the work people are doing.  

HEALTH & LIVING

• With my 18 year job fiasco, no matter what happens, I'm down to 70% of my salary in July and August. I put out a flatmate ad and after a few interview disasters, finally found someone I thought I could run into in the kitchen and not hate life. She is only here until November. The income helps massively with the financial stress, and my gut was right that she is great - clean, quiet, pays rent on time, and easy to chat to (when I feel like talking). 
  
  
• I have not been going to the gym. I'm just down in the dumps, never feel like going. It is the task switching aspect of it for me, plus wanting/needing to get certain bits of work done, plus the amount of time in my day it takes up. I wish I could get focused on my physical health again, but my grief just has taken over my life completely. Even going for a walk feels like too much.
  
  
• I have now followed up on my urgent care visit where they found blood in my urine during an acute gut pain and vomiting attack (left side so not appendix!) in May. The first follow up test found white blood cells. The last time I saw my former doc she told me my symptoms were in my head so I went looking and made an appointment with a new one. She was great and followed up on everything I've been asking about immediately. 
  
  Soon I will get a ferritin IV injection and Friday I had a CT scan for my gut issue. Crossed fingers it is something easy to treat, and nothing too scary. And thank goodness that my private health insurance covered the $1100 CT scan cost! That already covers about 5 months of the 7 monthly premiums I've paid out so far, so so far it is worth it.
  
  
• With all the stress and flatmate being in the kitchen and my birthday and defense celebrations, I've started eating out and eating more junk food than I probably should. I'll try to get back on the healthier train in August.
  
  
• I'm trying to get my supplements sorted. I take fish oil, probiotics, some fibre, multivitamin, and B12. I still need to add back iron, magnesium, and get more fiber in there, but those all can cause gut issues. I ran out of biosil drops. Heck, maybe those have been causing my gut issues. Who knows if they really do anything, but I feel so tired and awful all of the time, I feel like I need to try something.
  
  
• I did research and found a physio I want to try out, but when I went to make an appointment, I got a notice saying they are not taking new clients! Now I need to do more research. GRRR.
  
  
• I also want to go to the dermatologist, but I've run out of time to get that done before I leave for the US. I'll do that when I return to NZ in October/November.
  
  
• I set up my free optometry check up through work for August since I get that perk as a staff member until my current contract ends. I have to get a form filled out by work. 
  
  
• My landlord has decided not to sell the apartment (for now). The market is bad. Small blessings. 

 

TRAVEL & FUN 

• July is my birthday month so I had a nice birthday dinner with friends. Another friend held a Christmas in July party. 
  
  
• I have a weekly 'date' with some friends to catch up and watch a tv show. We are watching Wayward right now.
  
  
• My feelings about travel right now are just a repeat of recent months: I saved up for so much travel post-PhD! But post-my dad passing, I do not feel like being anywhere except my home, cozy in solitude and in my comfy bed, or with my family in the US. Nowhere else has any sort of appeal right now. I want familiarity and low energy activities. The travel I do is usually the exact opposite of those things, and I can't fathom spending tons of money just to lay in a strange bed, not seeing or experiencing the new sights and culture around me - I may as well just stay home in a controlled environment if I'm going to just want comfort.
  
  

FAMILY

• My sister found out there is something wrong with her blood counts last month. The docs referred her to a cancer clinic but their first opening isn't until August, so we have to wait until then to get answers. 
  
  
• Mom has started interviewing retirement homes to see where she wants to move for her elder care.
   

MONEY THOUGHTS & MOVES

• My income went to 0.7 FTE, but I offset my costs by getting a flatmate. 
   
• My 0.7 FTE income is only guaranteed through 31 August. That is not expected to renew. Right now, I have zero job or income prospects after that date.
  
  
• My usual car service, Mevo, went into receivership and I had $1500 NZD worth of credit with them that I bought with a US credit card. I complained to chatgpt and it said to write into the US consumer financial protections office. The bank the credit card is with investigated. In June they awarded that money back ($1243 USD)! It is sitting as credit on a card I canceled long ago so I have to write to them to get the money sent to me in a check form I guess, when I visit the US in Sept.
  
  
• Someone from my hometown church searched my name in the state unclaimed funds database and I am owed $300 USD! My mom put in the claim for me and I just got a notice that the check is in the mail. I should have it while in the US. 
  
  I guess that means that I'll have $300 + $1243 USD extra to spend while on my trip in the US...no need to pull that $$ from my 2026 US Travel Fund (which is in NZD). I can re-allocate that money to 2027's trip, which is great.
  
   

MONTHLY CHALLENGES

• Previously my challenge was to get back on the healthy exercise train, but I keep failing. But I give UP on the rest, I can't do it right now. I just try to get through the days as best I can.
  
  I have so much on in August that I don't expect this to change anytime soon. Maybe when I return from my US trip in mid October. Right now I am just doing the easiest self care possible (e.g. massages) and trying to get back in touch with my brain and body.

Matariki & Mid-2026 Budget Review & Future Plans

This Friday, we observe Matariki (the Māori New Year, marked by the rising of stars in the Pleiades constellation) as an official holiday in Aotearoa. The day/spirit of Matariki is meant to be one of reflection on the past and hopefulness for the future: remember, reflect, and reset. 

Matariki provides an excellent time for a mid-year check-in on many fronts. The holiday is particularly important to me this year, as it is a time that is meant for remembering loved ones who have passed away, especially those we've lost since we last observed the holiday. That is especially important this year. 

I will be taking a full day this long weekend to remember my dad and other loved ones and friends who have passed away. 

There is also a 'feast' component - celebrating the present - and a looking to the future and resetting piece.

Last weekend, some friends and I gathered for a mid-winter Fourth of July/Christmas in July/birthday/other celebration. There was a lot of food. 

As for the future, in 2024, I wrote down my hopes, dreams, and aspirations for the year ahead: 

• My aspirations for the next year don't extend much further beyond submitting and defending my PhD. Half of that came true. I submitted in March 2025. 
• I hope that my complex does not get sold and I do not have to move, but if I do have to move, I find a lovely, large, sunny, furnished flat with two bedrooms, two bathrooms (one with bathtub), with car park that I can rent out, within my budget and easy walking distance to my office. Bonus if the complex has an outdoor pool with sun exposure, a hot tub, gym, and a workspace or rooftop. My complex did not get sold.
• I also hope that my family makes it through the next year intact and without getting more ill than they are right now. Dad made it to Matariki 2025, but unbeknownst to us, lung cancer had already started to take hold by then.
• My dream would be that at next year's check in, I've successfully earned my PhD, have more financial avenues to pursue to increase my income without increasing my stress levels too much, and that I have had the time and mental and emotional space to address the non-work goals I've been ignoring for the past 10 years, particularly my physical health. The stress has only increased since last year.

In the next year, by Matariki 2027: 

• I want peace and stability and hopefulness that things will just get better and better - in health, family and friends' health, in my career, and in my home. A marked decrease in stress and a huge leap in hope.
• I want my PhD nightmare to be over, including the papers I'm supposed to publish from it. 
• I want to have a good doctor (or doctors) who listen to me and treat me with care, in the hopes of addressing my ADHD, fatigue (iron), and what I think are perimenopause issues. 
• I would like to have found a regular exercise and stretching routine that I can keep up with even with my ADHD, designed to mitigate the effects of any health issues I have, and to prevent deterioration due to aging.  
• I want to expand my social circle, or at least keep in better contact with the friends I already have, increasing the frequency with which we speak and hang out. 
• If my energy and time supports it, I would like to volunteer or become more involved in a non-profit organisation. 
• In my dream world, I would work flexibly, about 0.5 FTE or 20 hours/week, and make enough to live how I'd like to, including travel if I feel up for it then. That would be about $50K/year.
• I'd like to have the stability, space, health, time, and support to grieve properly for my father. 

January - June 2026 Budget Review

 

Income: $39,560.07 (after tax) 

Salary: $37,189.35

Lending Crowd loan principal and interest payment: $634.68

Zagga principal and interest payment: $46.04

Carpark rental income: $1,690  

 

Spending: $26,753.30     -       67.2% of income

Rent: $14,824

Groceries: $2,472.69 (41% of the year's budgeted amount) 

Power/Internet: $1,065.02 (59%)

Eating out: $1,104.23 (37%)

Charity: $435 (73%)

Cell phone: $111 (46%)

Medical: $2,730.78 (2.28%) - WAY over budget!

Misc: $3,860.58 (32%)

 

Within that Misc category, I spent $0 on alcohol, $245 on entertainment, $640 on self care, $528 on fees, $412 on gifts, $751 on goods and wants, $521 on transportation, and $10.40 on travel. 

 

 

Remainder: $12,826.74

 

Overall, very few surprises (overall breakdown below). I didn't have a flatmate so rent and utilities were astronomical - 40% of my income from January - June. I spent a lot of money on medical expenses, including getting private health insurance (my doc said she wouldn't treat me if I didn't have it) and paying out of picket for the shingles vaccine, which was very very pricey. 

Fixed costs: 53.6% (housing: 37%; medical: 7%; groceries: 6%; utilities: 3%; cell phone: 0.6%)

Flexible costs: 13.6% (Eating out: 3%: charity: 0.6%; misc.: 10%)

After tax saving: 32.8% 

I keep saying I went 'wild' while I was earning a full salary, but that isn't really true. I have been so busy, stressed, and sad about the loss of my father and preparing for my PhD defense, and so fatigued from all of that plus incredibly low ferritin, that I really haven't had the time or energy to actually go 'wild.' I also don't really buy stuff in NZ - that is more of a US thing.

 

Starting 1 July, my salary goes down to 0.7 of full time until end August. I've taken in a flatmate to help cover rent and utilities and have tightened up my budget in anticipation of this. I'm still not sure what to do about post-August. There are a few things that are potentially in the works, so I'm not freaking out and applying for jobs quite yet. 

July + August 0.7 FTE Approximate Budget

Rent: $1,375 (this varies between $1100 and $1375 depending on how many Fridays [rent payment due dates] there are in the month)

Groceries: $500 

Power + Internet: $200

Eating Out: $200

Charity: $60

Cell phone: $17

Medical: $350

Misc: $1,000

Aim to save: > $768 

 

I'll be in the US in September and part of October, and have a bare bones budget for those months, with no income. As my return to NZ approaches in October, I should have more answers and will adjust my budget and plans accordingly. Worst case scenarios: 

1. I am employed by my project's partner organisation. They take a lot in overheads, but I get proper employment perks and the opportunity to earn more. My income will be about $2K/mo after taxes. The rest of my living expenses will be pulled from savings. I have $25K set aside for this scenario, and the next one.

2. I have to go freelance and deal with US self employment tax issues. I live off of the $25K I set aside for this scenario until the first tranche of funding comes in (probably January/February 2027). My income will be about $46K for ~12 hours of work per week. 

3. No employment options AT ALL. I apply for JobSeekers. I live off of the $25K I set aside and look for a new job in NZ that fits my interests. If I don't get anything interesting by my last $5K, I put in my three week notice for my flat, and move back to the US to live with my mom. 

Crossed fingers something works out. 

 

June 2026 Budget Review

 June 2026 Budget

This is the last month I am earning a full salary. Things were extremely comfortable. I'm able to spend and save at levels like never before.

Income: $6,176.12

Salary: $5,760.60

Lending Crowd repayments: $145.90

Zagga repayments: $9.62

Garage rent: $260 

Spending: $4,473.33 (72.4%)

Remainder: $1,702.79 (to get transferred to US brokerage account, along with $990 from my new flatmate's bond - total $2692.79 NZD transferred via Wise, and $1,528.46 USD will be invested)

Spending categories (budgeted amount in parentheses):

Rent: $2,420 - no flatmate

Groceries: $351.73 ($500) - I cut out a lot of grocery store junk food and am mostly just eating when hungry lately (my eating out is atrocious this month though!). 

Electricity & Internet: $233.52 ($300) 

Eating out: $277.69 ($250) - Pizza hut pizza in honor of my dad after my defense ($55.43); thai from ya-so ($101.80); McDonalds three times 2 x @ $15.70 a pop, $28.60 once; Lowbrow cheeseburger and kumara fries and salad and chicken ($60.46). Since it's my last month of full time salary and I had passed my defense, I went overboard here a little! 

Charity: $35 ($50) - $5 to the nice lady playing violin outside of the grocery store; Heart Assoc. Lotto tix ($30)

Cell phone: $17 ($20) 

Medical: $337.75 ($100) -  Southern Cross premium ($237.49); nailbrush and multivitamins from the Warehouse ($23.29); Liquid paracetamol, probiotic, fiber gummies from Chemist Warehouse ($76.97); 

Misc: $750.64 ($1K)

alcohol: $0 

entertainment: $0 

self care: $143.10 - $61.50 for a haircut; $81.60 for a massage

fees: $75.80 - $10 fee for Cityhop membership; $40 for chatgpt monthly fee; $9.90 for trademe ad fees for flatmate search; another $15.90 in trademe ad fees to promote my ad

gifts: $0 

goods and wants: $372.75 - $3.50 for pop up hamper from look sharp; $25.41 for solar garden lights from mitre 10 or bunnings; $99 for a new digital scale, resistance bands, and two sweatshirts from kmart; $21.50 for new house slippers from the warehouse; $146.92 for 4x plants for flatmate interviews; new heater for flatmate's room; 2x teal silicone oven gloves to match my kitchen rug; 4x lithium batteries for room heater remote from the warehouse; $76.42 for two power scrubbers - hand held and extended pole - to clean off my bathroom ceiling which has dirty drips from the skylight and to clean off the algae from the balcony and patio tiles. 

transportation: $95.58 - flamingo or lime scooters x 6 - I'm trying to cut down on these! $79.01 cityhop car for 1 day.

travel: $63.41 - taxes on Singapore awards flight next year for fam reunion in Seattle

Savings and Funds Activity Update

• Since I've met all of my short- and medium-term savings goals, I'm no longer saving money, just investing it.
   
• My Squirrel balance sits at about $61.5K, with $7,792 of that invested in various peer-to-peer loans at $100 each at 4.75% to 6.5% p.a. 
  
  
• I keep investing more and more in the peer to peer loans, but I'll probably cap it at $10K or a certain percentage of my Net Worth.
  
  
• I have about $94.6K in Rabobank earning between 1.3 and 2.55% p.a. 
  
  
• I have one Zagga investment ($1K total) now. 
   
• I am (still) waiting for Lending Crowd to start up again.
  
  
  

Net Worth Tracking

NZ Savings (cash): $148,317.23 NZD. This does not include investments in peer to peer loans.

Peer to peer lending: $9,165.39 (Zagga, Squirrel, open principal at Lending Crowd)

• LendingCrowd: $427.62 NZD - principal still owed, repaid with interest in weekly installments
• Zagga: ~$930 NZD 
• Squirrel: $7,792 NZD

Kiwisaver: $144,731.65 NZD

US investments: $77,835.52 USD

Total Net Worth - NEW METHOD (June 2026): $338,462.68 NZD

I now only count long-term savings and investments in my Net Worth. This month's NW represents an increase of $7,660.40 NZD since last month, and an increase of $36,168.71 NZD since the beginning of the year. 

What is counted in my Net Worth now: 

• $60K NZD Former House Down Payment Fund (I will drip feed this into US investments)
• Kiwisaver (NZ retirement)
• Roth IRA
• Traditional IRA
• Berkshire Hathaway investment fund (non-dividend yield fund)
• Non-retirement investment account
  
  
  

FIF Tracking

NZ restricts foreign investments to $50,000 NZD (cost basis), otherwise you end up paying NZ tax each year - 5% of the total value of the investments each year, regardless if you sold or not. That sounds horrible and complicated, so I am tracking the cost basis of investments in my US brokerage account (I invested in my IRAs prior to moving to NZ and retirement accounts are exempt from the FIF). 

To avoid accidentally going over, I have turned off automatic reinvesting of any dividends.

Some hopeful news: the current NZ government has said it will increase the FIF threshold to $100K, and also change how the tax is levied if you go over the FIF 'de minimus' threshold. The changes would mean I could not only invest more than $50K NZD (cost basis) but also exceed the $100K FIF threshold and only pay tax if I sold the investments:

"This expansion would also allow all New Zealand residents who are subject to double tax due to citizenship or right to work in another country (primarily migrants from the United States) to use the RAM for their listed shares as well, regardless of the date they migrated. This is known as the extended RAM and is required because tax paid under traditional FIF calculation methods may not be creditable against United States taxes." 

Crossed fingers that they do something good for once. They are mostly good-for-nothings.

Cost basis value of US investments in NZD: $32,048.54

Able to invest without hitting FIF in NZD: $17,951.46

 

June 2026: A Mixed Bag & Legal Dispute

Life Update

GRIEF

• No update here, so I'll repeat last month's update (again): This continues to be the centerpiece of my life. It is my immediate feeling when I wake up, as I go about my day, and as I drift off to sleep. It permeates everything. I think it may be getting worse as reality sinks in. A true living nightmare.
  
  
• June was the seventh full month without my dad. June also contained Father's Day. There are always tears, esp for those milestone holidays and when thinking about my defense and how he isn't here to celebrate. I'm SO LUCKY I have so many people around me wanting to celebrate my accomplishments, but my heart just feels sadness about the one key missing person not able to be there.
  
  
• During every weekly phone call with my Mom and sister, I bring him up. Sometimes I just need to say his name and for other people to tell me they miss him just as much as I do. I just want him involved in the conversation as usual, I guess. Even though I'm atheist/agnostic, in case he is somehow able to listen, I need him to know he is still a part of our lives and thoughts. 
  
  He'd normally be interrupting and dominating the conversation. It's a bit boring and quiet and rote without him, and I miss his boisterous, sometimes obnoxious energy so much. It's just all so hard.
  
  
• I finished the group grief counseling course in May, but the lessons I learned persist. There was a guy in the group who was grieving the loss of his job. That has become pertinent to my life, as I was let go from my 18 year job in June, my landlord is planning to put my flat of 12 years up for sale, and my Mom will be selling the house I grew up in from age six and have visited almost every year since leaving at 18 (so 30 years of month+ long visits plus 12 years of living there full time). All of this change is incredibly, horribly painful. 

 

PhD & WORK 

• My PhD defense is done. I passed with revisions to my written thesis to do. It took them a whole month to provide the list of amendments they expect, so now I have three months to do them. The problem is that I'm going to be in the US starting Sept 1. So I really have less than two months in all actuality. I will NOT be doing work in the US. Plus the Uni is going to end my access to well, everything, including office365, after my contracts end on 31 August. 
  
  
• My grief peaked while prepping for the defense. The amount of digging inside of myself to make myself get out of bed/start studying while I was bawling...oh man. I scraped to the very bottom of myself to do that. I've just been so empty except for the sadness. I feel no joy at being done. This is a problem because so many other people that got me through it are happy for me and wanting to mark the event, but I can't bring myself to enjoy it, or even fake it. This past weekend, a friend held a 'Christmas in July/Fourth of July/birthday/PhD defense' party that was partly in my honor, and I kept feeling myself shrink and the sadness creep in. Part of that was the drinking I'm sure. I cannot drink when I have strong negative feelings inside - they just take over completely. 
  
  
• There is a bigger summary of the defense in my last monthly update - I wrote the May update after the defense was already done.
   
• Pertinent: right after my defense, my boss said she had gotten a notice that my contract was expiring soon and we would need to talk. My 18-year job was at risk. My other contract with my employer lasts until end August, but then it looks like I have nothing on the horizon.
  
  
• So yes. The job saga. After my defense in the first week of June, I followed up with my department head, who was looking into ways to keep me around, and that his understanding was that my 18 year contract was going to be renewed but my secondary post doc contract was ending on 31 August. I was overjoyed at this news! That is exactly what I wanted. He said that he had a meeting scheduled the next day with the HR people and he'd confirm. 
  
  He had just had surgery so I was being respectful of his time but a week passed with no update, so I followed up. He then said HR said that there was zero way for me to keep my job. He and my boss met with me and said that HR "can't" renew, but were very unfamiliar with the details as to why, since 
  
  1. the funding is guaranteed as continuing, 
  2. the need for my work is continuing, and 
  3. my boss, the funders, and the School want me to stay and keep doing the good work I've been doing. 
  
  The last week of June, my boss kept saying everything would be fine, they'd figure something out - until she had a meeting with one of the Deans to run some final ideas by them. 
  
  They turned every. single. option. down. I am not allowed to work on a short contract or go casual or even subcontract for the Uni. Why? Well, your guess is as good as mine. 
  
  HR keeps saying I'm a 'liability' and a 'risk' and "if the funders want her so badly, THEY can hire her" and they think that my 18 years of knowledge that I've built up as a researcher and project manager for my research programme while working for the Uni is "pure admin" that "anyone else will be able to pick up quickly" so therefore it shouldn't be a problem to get rid of me. They have run my boss around in circles and never give clear answers, apparently. 
  
  And throughout the ENTIRE process, HR have never once asked to meet with me, told me that my job was ending, nothing. It's been crickets, and my supervisor and HoS have said to let them handle it, so I haven't reached out to them directly.
  
  It is purely a University policy thing preventing me from continuing. I therefore want the EXACT policy and law they are basing their decision on, but they have never provided it. So as any good US American would do, I turned to the legal system. I have a union rep now and they are handling it. She is great. She first set up a meeting with HR so we can ask questions and hopefully get real answers. That is all I wanted! 
  
  HR then, on the last day of my contract, responded that they couldn't meet with me and the union rep until a few days later when they KNEW that my rep had union activities happening - she had sent out a Uni-wide blast about it. Apparently this is a routine stalling tactic to run out the clock on my contract and make life harder for me and the union. So my union rep recommended escalating and I acquiesced. I don't know how many details I'm allowed to go into here but essentially now lawyers are involved and I'm working 'as usual' in protest of the issues with my contract ending illegally (allegedly). 
  
  My boss keeps assigning me work, meeting me, etc. like normal. I dunno. But I guess I'm doing the work for free now? 
  
  I'm also lucky that my boss has a few other options up her sleeve. She approached someone at my project's partner organisation to see if they would hire me instead. It would require a 1/3 paycut and a doubling of the overheads that the funders will have to pay, but would at least give me minimal employment to keep me on the project and in the country. Luckily, I have cultivated a lot of relationships through the years and the person in charge of pulling together a case to hire me is one of my best friends in NZ. I feel so fortunate that so many people are trying to keep me in the mix. Honestly, it makes me cry.
  
  I'm not holding my breath for either the union rep to get results nor the hiring at the other organisation to come through, but I appreciate all the work people are doing, and at the VERY LEAST, after 18 years, I feel that Uni HR owes me some answers. I'm hoping that the union rep can at least get me that.
   

HEALTH & LIVING

• With my 18 year job fiasco, no matter what happens, I'm down 3/10's of my salary in July and August. I put out a flatmate ad and after a few interview disasters, finally found someone I think I can run into in the kitchen and not hate life. She is not ideal - she is very young, just here to learn English (so no job), and is only here until November - but the income helps massively with the financial stress and my gut says she's gonna be fine in the short-term. I still check references, but at this point I just listen to my gut when it comes to who I choose to live with!  
  
  
• I have not been going to the gym. I'm just down in the dumps, never feel like going. It is the task switching aspect of it for me, plus wanting/needing to get certain bits of work done, plus the amount of time in my day it takes up. I wish I could get focused on my physical health again, but my grief just has taken over my life completely. Even going for a walk feels like too much.
  
  
• I still haven't followed up fully on my urgent care visit where they found blood in my urine during an acute gut pain attack (left side so not appendix!). I took another test and this time no blood but they found white blood cells. I'm supposed to go see the doc but the last time I saw her she told me my symptoms were in my head so I'm looking for a new doctor. 
  
  
• I've still been able to avoid most junk food and am eating less - mostly when I'm hungry. This turns out to be about mid-afternoon and half way through the evening, or about twice a day. I'm focusing on protein and whole foods, but dark chocolate (with fruit), cheddar cheese, and sandwich meat sneaks in there quite a bit. 
  
  
• I'm trying to get my supplements sorted. I still take fish oil, probiotics, some fibre, multivitamin, and B12. I still need to add back iron, magnesium, and get more fiber in there, but those all can cause gut issues. I ran out of Vit D and K and biosil drops.
  
  
• I did research and found a physio I want to try out, but when I went to make an appointment, I got a notice saying they are not taking new clients! Now I need to do more research. GRRR.
  
  
• I also want to go to the dermatologist and get a ferritin infusion since I stopped taking the iron pills. I set up my free optometry check up through work since I get that perk as a staff member until my current contract ends. Lots to do!

 

TRAVEL & FUN 

• June was mostly me trying to recover emotionally and mentally from my defense, plus navigate the job stuff. My friend did take me out for brunch at a new place and for a little walk around a nice park, and I visited that same friend at her new place about a half an hour away. 
  
  
• I still have a weekly 'date' with some friends to catch up and watch a tv show. Those resumed. I introduced my friends to K Pop Demon Hunters and their reactions were exactly as I'd hoped!
  
  
• My feelings about travel right now are just a repeat of last month: I saved up for so much travel post-PhD! But post-my dad passing, I do not feel like being anywhere except my home, cozy in solitude and in my comfy bed, or with my family in the US. Nowhere else has any sort of appeal right now. I want familiarity and low energy activities. The travel I do is usually the exact opposite of those things, and I can't fathom spending tons of money just to lay in a strange bed, not seeing or experiencing the new sights and culture around me - I may as well just stay home in a controlled environment if I'm going to just want comfort.
  
  

FAMILY

• My sister found out there is something wrong with her blood counts last month. The docs referred her to a cancer clinic but their first opening isn't until August, so we have to wait until then to get answers. 
   

MONEY THOUGHTS & MOVES

• With the high rent, gym membership, and new private health insurance, my spending is way above normal. This was the last month of full time salary I'll have for the foreseeable future (the job market in NZ is abysmal).
   
• My 0.7 FTE income is only guaranteed through 31 August. That is not expected to renew. Right now, I have zero job or income prospects after that date.
  
  
• My usual car service, Mevo, went into receivership and I had $1500 NZD worth of credit with them that I bought with a US credit card. I complained to chatgpt and they said to write into the US consumer financial protections office. The bank the credit card is with investigated. In June they awarded that money back! It is sitting as credit on a card I canceled long ago so I have to write to them to get the money sent to me in a check form I guess.

MONTHLY CHALLENGES

• Previously my challenge was to get back on the healthy exercise train, but I keep failing. I have made some strides with eating less junk, though. But I give UP on the rest, I can't do it right now. I just try to get through the days as best I can.
  
  I have so much on in July and August that I don't expect this to change anytime soon. Maybe when I return from my US trip in mid October. Right now I am just doing the easiest self care possible (e.g. massages) and trying to get back in touch with my brain and body.

Some Good News

Some (rare) good news as June starts:  

• As I reported in the May update, I passed my long-awaited and (more recently) dreaded PhD defence (NZ spelling). While my emotions about doing it without my father are very fraught, and I have felt nothing except sadness since, little leaks of relief about it being done are starting to creep in. I do have revisions to make, however, so the journey is not completely over, unfortunately.
  
  I haven't celebrated properly yet because of all of the emotions. It just doesn't feel like a celebratory moment without my father around. But I think other people are going to force it to be celebrated. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.
  
  
• My previous car service, Mevo, went into receivership. I had $1500 NZD (!) worth of credit with them that I bought with a US credit card when this happened. I have sadly succumbed to buying 1 month's worth of a chatgpt subscription (apparently Claude is better now, but I only just got that message), but in this case, it paid for itself, many times over! 
  
  I complained to it about the situation. It said to write into the US consumer financial protections office to try to claim a refund for those costs based on the company not fulfilling their duties and providing value for the service. It walked me through every step and even helped to draft the complaint letter. That was on April 3. 
  
  The bank the credit card was with (which is now closed) investigated and today, June 7, I found out that it was going to reimburse me about $1,250 USD. I asked for about 1500 NZD, or $875 USD's worth, so this is very surprising. 
  
  I didn't t have a ton of hope that I'll get any of that money back, so this is a huge bonus!