Van-Guard!

Vanguard is the Keeper of All My (US) Money. I have three accounts with them: a Roth IRA, a Traditional IRA, and a brokerage account.

Vanguard is considered the, well, vanguard of the brokerage firms in the US, however, my funds with them have not been doing very well over the last few years. I can't figure out why. I carefully researched the funds I bought into and made sure my expense ratios are low. Yet everyone else's portfolios seem to go up when mine go down, and when theirs go down, mine do too. Something is off!!! Off, I say!

I'm in it for the long-haul, but the fact that others with similar interests (index funds, long term holds, etc) are getting higher yields when I am not, and I am losing when they are losing as well, makes me think something is wrong. To try to figure out what was happening, I looked really carefully at my picks again this weekend, and compared them with many portfolios from several other PF bloggers.

In the name of simplicity (and following a lot of advice on bogleheads.com and other portfolios that have been successful when I have not), I decided to go with a 3 fund portfolio: right now I'm opting for 75% stocks, 25% bonds, and of the stocks, 40% are international and 60% are domestic. That is my personal mix based on what seems right-ish to me, based on several asset allocation calculators, and based on my available balances in each account. Unfortunately I have money scattered throughout several accounts (taxable, Roth, Traditional), and the balances are awkward when there is a $3K minimum. The other restriction is that I have to keep my bond fund in an IRA as they are less tax-efficient. So...I'll have to tweak the %'s when my balances increase (crossed fingers). I cannot shift money around or add $$ in the retirement accounts as I do not make USD and am therefore banned from contributing (to my dismay).

We'll see how this plan plays out! Hopefully my portfolio tracks better with those that I follow, and doesn't constantly lose out like it has been.

And...that is another 2015 stretch goal crossed off of my list. :) Doing well for not even having the first month of the year finished off!

A good spot for my House Down Payment Fund?

Right now my $23K+ earmarked for buying a house is sitting pretty in a super safe savings account, earning me 4.5% interest. That is not too shabby! Especially compared to what is going on in the US, with their teeny, tiny interest rates.

My hope is that interest rates eventually climb to where they were when I first moved to NZ. These rates were reduced by the government on purpose after the financial crisis and Christchurch, to encourage lending, and some reports were saying that they should start increasing now that the NZ economy is booming and Christchurch has started to get back on its feet. Recent reports, though, say that the government is going to keep them low for a little while longer. I'm not sure why--maybe due to the crazy housing prices across the country but especially in Auckland?

Anyway, if interest rates are going to stay low, I was thinking of putting my HDP money into a bit of a riskier place since I probably will never get the chance to buy here in NZ. Might as well put it somewhere where it might gain a little bit more over the next 6-7 years or so!

I was thinking the D Fund: it is 80% held in bonds and cash, and the rest is in stocks and property. It has beat inflation 99% of the time and has had an average return in the 7% range. The money would be accessible for emergencies if I really needed it, just like my savings account, but I risk having to withdraw when it is worth less. That might happen in the following cases:

1) There is a very miniscule-y, teeny chance that property prices will decrease to a point where I can use this money to put a deposit down on anything that I want. I shudder to think what would have happened to collapse the housing sector so drastically--I think I would have much worse problems to deal with if housing prices suddenly plummeted.
2) There is a slightly better chance (but still very slim) that I will go in on a house with a friend (or two) here. I don't know how comfortable I feel doing that yet but if the right person and right property came along...maybe.
3) A real emergency comes up and I need the funds. Hopefully this is very unlikely.

If I do this, I was thinking of a dollar cost averaging scenario where I move my money into the fund a little at a time over about a year. Maybe $2K per month or something? Remember, I continue to contribute $250 per month to this fund, so only $1750 of the starting balance would actually be moved over each time.

What do you think? Should I move my money from a super safe low interest place to a bit riskier but hopefully higher yielding account? Dollar cost average or lump sum it?

Getting on the (virtual) Property Ladder

We all know that I cannot afford to buy a house in Auckland. Like...ever. My girl NZ Muse knows of this pain all too well.

One of those links in that first sentence above (click on "Auckland") goes to a report that recently ranked Auckland in the top 10 least affordable places for housing. IN THE WORLD. Yeah. How about them (Big) Apples?!

So, along with finding a life partner (my bad luck there has sadly become legendary among my friends), I've given up on my house-buying dream, at least until I move away from Auckland. I really only wanted a house to be able to have a dog, anyway.

Instead, I've found a way to invest in property that doesn't actually involve taking out a mortgage or fixing the hot water heater. One of my goals this year is to review my fund allocations in my NZ and US retirement accounts. After hearing about housing prices in Auckland just continuing to skyrocket, I thought that there must be a way to capitalize on that trend without actually buying a house. Enter: the Property Fund.

I may never own you or any of your brethren, but I WILL profit
from your increased value! Stock photo by David Wagner

Additionally, I have discovered an important loophole around the fact that I am banned from contributing to my US retirement accounts. Luckily, Superlife, my Kiwisaver brokerage, actually invests in several Vanguard funds! So I can save for retirement through Vanguard after all! Albeit at a higher fee rate and in NZ currency and not tax-protected...but who is counting. (Also--I have no other choice.)

My new plan is to be a bit more diversified than when I started my Kiwisaver. I was so paralysed by the choices that I made myself bite the bullet and just choose funds already, telling myself I'd revisit the fund allocation after I'd had a chance to sift through the funds and decide what was best. Over five years later...I still haven't changed anything. I ended up doing really well, though, with returns of about 15% over the past 5 years after investing in the overseas shares hedged (50%) and unhedged (50%). You can see that a) I didn't trust NZ's market enough to invest in it and b) I had no idea about currencies and hedging and which would be better at the time. (NZ's dollar fluctuated wildly up and down in the first year I was living here.)

THE BREAKDOWN

10% Bonds: I can't make up my mind about the bonds, so I'm doing 5% in each of:
--Overseas Non-government bonds pool: this fund invests >92% in Vanguard International Credit Securities Index Fund (Hedged) (VANICSI)--all Australian
--NZ Bonds Pool: this fund invests in only NZ businesses and government. I mean, I guess since I'm going to be a citizen and all, I should put my money where my mouth is a bit...

20% Property:
--the property pool mainly invests in Australian and NZ properties, but also Vanguard's International Property Securities Fund (hedged)

Hurrah for getting on the property ladder finally!

70% Stocks: I'll invest the remaining 70% in a variety of funds that I like for several reasons:
--40% Overseas Shares Currency Hedged Pool This is made up of an equities index fund. I currently have 50% of my portfolio invested in this and it is doing well.
--10% NZ shares: more NZ investing.
--20% Gemino Pool: high risk, high reward.

The funds all have expense ratios of about 1%. They are some of the lowest in the biz in NZ.

I may also consider the UK Growth Pool if I want to weight my currently portfolio with some American stocks.

I will revisit my portfolio in one year to see how I did at picking these!

Doing the Smart Thing Buh-LOWS Sometimes

I SO want to see Venus Williams and Caroline Wozniaki battle it out at the ASB Classic Tennis Finals, but tickets are nearly $90. With my PhD salary the way it is, and all of my other goals, I simply can't afford it. I guess I'm content to just watch online:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/watch-wta-auckland-live-stream-asb-classic-tennis

It just sucks because they are playing at a place less than 10 minutes' walk from my house, and I won't be able to see it in person or get an autographed ball!

Maybe next year I'll look into being a volunteer at the event to get to see free pro tennis. :)

I'm getting really into tennis lately--I may start getting coached twice a week when the season starts up again. That $90 would pay for nearly 5 lessons--I guess I should look at it that way!

2015 Financial

1. Increase Kiwisaver contribution to 8%. Paper work DONE December 2014
2. Track every penny and stay out of debt.
3. Revise budget according to PhD salary and lifestyle.
4. File US taxes in April.
5. Review insurances, will, and Master Financial documents.
6. Save $500/mo to long-term goals: House DP and Retirement, $250 each.
7. Review my US retirement allocations. 
8. Choose an NZ stock vehicle for medium-to-long term goal $$ (House Downpayment Funds).
9. Review my NZ retirement allocations.
10. Move $8,740 USD from HSBC to NZ savings account, where it will earn $32 NZD per month MORE than it does in the US.  done Dec 2014

2014 Budget Review

Category	Spent	Budgeted                Amount	Balance
Rent	$11,125.00	$10,920.00	-$205.00
Groceries	$5,077.72	$4,800.00	-$277.72
Internet	$798.66	$720.00	-$78.66
Electricity	$1,486.22	$900.00	-$586.22
Eating Out	$1,879.60	$1,800.00	-$79.60
Charity	$148.75	$300.00	$151.25
Cell phone	$384.38	$600.00	$215.63
Medical	$455.60	$1,500.00	$1,044.40
Misc	$7,896.02	$7,200.00	-$696.02
Savings	$7,200.00	$7,200.00	$0.00
Total	$36,451.94	$35,940.00	-$511.94

Income: $42,017.42

MISC
alcohol	$               467.79
entertainment	$                 56.35
exercise	$            1,274.97
fees	$               232.40
gifts	$               150.08
goods and wants	$            3,146.62
transportation	$            1,689.40
travel	$            1,738.89
total	$              8,756.50

In 2015, my monthly income is going to be $2,547.42, or $30,569.04 for the year. I aim to get $60/week from my parking spot, hopefully bringing my annual income to $33,689.04. I'm budgeting that way, anyway: 

Category		Budgeted Amount
Rent		$880.00
Groceries		$425.00
Internet		$28.33
Electricity		$50.00
Eating Out and Alcohol		$125.00
Charity		$25.00
Cell phone		$60.00
Medical		$65.00
Misc		$600.00
Savings		$500.00
Total		$2,758.33

Very little wiggle room these days...

December 2014 Budget and Net Worth

December was totally EPIC!!!

(Sorry for the extreme enthusiasm...summer makes me ecstatically happy, and you'll see why I had reason to be even more so this month.)

	Dec 2014 Budget
Category	Spent	Budgeted Amount	Balance
Rent	$880.00	$880.00	$0.00
Groceries	$399.26	$425.00	$25.74
Internet	$28.33	$28.33	$0.00
Electricity	$36.07	$50.00	$13.93
Eating Out and Alcohol	$292.10	$125.00	-$167.10
Charity	$0.00	$25.00	$25.00
Cell phone	$100.00	$60.00	-$40.00
Medical	$354.00	$65.00	-$289.00
Misc	$891.59	$600.00	-$291.59
Savings	$600.00	$600.00	$0.00
Total	$3,581.35	$2,858.33	-$723.02
Remainder	$260.22

At the beginning of December, I went on a great trip to Kaikoura to swim with the dolphins to celebrate a friend's major achievement. It was so, so pretty down there. I also got a chance to chat with some really fun work colleagues who live down in Christchurch, and to explore the city, which I hadn't seen since before the earthquakes. Two weeks later, I was hiking the Tongariro Crossing with friends who were visiting NZ. And a week and a half after that, I was in a beach bach for Christmas with friends. Travel + friends + summer...lots of my 3 favourite things, all rolled into one majorly awesome month. Can't complain...can't complain AT ALL. Life is grand. 

Work was also really great. I received a monetary research award out of the blue for my PhD work, without even applying! How does that happen?! Also, I collected my first data for my PhD, and didn't even lose a sample or mess up like I thought was likely. I also got some major press for my work project as well as my PhD project--an article that had been in the works for about 2 years was published finally. So cool. 

So work and play was taken care of...how were the finances? Well, luckily, I received 5 paychecks this month, bumping up my income to $3,841.57, enough to offset all the spending with about $250 leftover!

It was an A+ month to top off a really great year already. So you can see why I'm glowing.

Instead of a rundown of expenses and where I did badly and excelled (I think that is obvious from my totals, above), I think I'll use this next section for a monthly Net Worth report. Future posts like this will include the change from the previous month.

Net Worth (December 2014): 

NZ: $82,442.59

US: $21,219.15

My goal throughout the PhD is to not let the combined NW total fall below $100K.

2015 Goals

2015 Goals

1. Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. 

Stretch goals:

Financial

1. Increase Kiwisaver contribution to 8%. Paper work DONE December 2014
2. Revise budget according to PhD salary and lifestyle.
3. Review my NZ retirement allocations.
4. Move $8,740 USD from HSBC to NZ savings account, where it will earn $32 NZD per month MORE than it does in the US.  done Dec 2014
5. Review my US retirement allocations. DONE Jan 2015
6. Choose an NZ stock vehicle for medium-to-long term goal $$ (House Downpayment Funds). UPDATE: Possibly the D fund. Still deciding! Jan 2015 UPDATE 2: Not gonna do this. Just will keep it liquid in my savings account.
7. File US taxes in April.
8. File state taxes by May 1.
9. Contribute $205 to Kiwisaver by June 30 to meet the $521 member tax credit. DONE! May 
10. Review insurances, will, and Master Financial documents. [September]  Need to get renter's insurance again, methinks. Every year that goes by without it, I get more nervous.
11. Save $500/mo to long-term goals: House DP and Retirement, $250 each.
    
12. Track every penny and stay out of debt.
13. Apply for 20K qantas points. 

Travel/Experiences/Social

1. Do Coast-to-Coast hike. Moved to 2016
2. Beat Stranger Danger: go to one meetup event where I know no one every quarter (Jan - Mar; April - June; July - Sept; Oct - Dec). Q1 Q2: meet up with dance class; Q3: accidentally stumbled onto a meetup at a bar and chatted to randoms for an hour;
3. Camp and hike as much as possible: Whatipu Cave hike, SMAT hike, Moved to 2016
4. Go to Snowplanet. Moved to 2016
5. Hit balls in the batting cage. (Done in US; want to do in NZ!!) Moved to 2016
6. Visit home at least once to/from my travels for work.
7. Host and organise a theme night. [BL] Moved to 2016
8. Host and organise yet another theme night. [FF] Moved to 2016
9. Plan out Europe trip with destinations and cost estimates. 
10. See the cherry blossoms in bloom in AKL finally (Sept-October). Yup, see here:
    
    
11. Find something to do for Xmas and New Year's Eve 2015. Plans in the works!!
12. Go on one date. DONE! April

Learning/Projects

1. Buy a nice camera and thoroughly read its manual ($650 for Sony DSC-RX100M II).  Done September--still need to play around with the settings and set it up completely, though. 
2. Take a photography course (once I get a DSLR or manual camera). Should be doable one Saturday! $150 NZD moved to 2016
3. Read manual for smartphone camera.  Turns out I just need to play around with the ISO settings, the auto software completely gets it wrong.
4. Learn rules of bridge. Practice; Study
5. Learn how to drive stick.     moved to 2016
6. Take public speaking workshop. moved to 2016
7. Take an Artstation course. Booked for late November!  
8. Learn to speed read. Turns out this is not a real thing, at least when you need to read for comprehension. So--instead of speed reading, I just need to read faster. How?? ...I'm still figuring that part out. All the tips I hear are about speed reading, not reading faster while you still subvocalize (and therefore comprehend more). ETA: Here. and Here (ignore Bill Cosby reference). 
9. Take a German class. (OR: complete free online Duolingo and Memrise courses!)
10. Learn how to identify at least 5 constellations/heavenly bodies in each hemisphere. This site is neat for that. Went to Stardome June 2015, learned how to find south using the Southern Cross (use pointer stars). Finding the RIGHT Southern Cross is another story. :) Also learned that you can only see Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, and Venus with the naked eye--no other planets, and the planets sometimes 'set,' meaning, for example, Jupiter is about to go away, beyond the horizon, and won't be visible for about 6 months. Mars is currently not visible. Orion is hidden from our view right now, too. The Scorpion is visible in the Milky Way, however.
1. Orion/Betelguese
2. Big Dipper
3. Polaris
4. Cassiopeia

Career

1. Update my CV, LinkedIn, Twitter, blog, staff page, and Researchgate profiles for work in January, April, July, and November.
2. Collaborate with educators to improve curricula/public outreach. Meeting done. Lots of opportunities! Just need to find the time. One collaborative public outreach event planned.
3. Give one public talk. moved to 2016
4. Organise three large public outreach events: March June October
5. Contribute research to government policy. moved to 2016
6. Guide one field trip. Done May 2015: artists
7. Present research at international conference. Scheduled: August
8. Get awarded at least one grant. DONE
9. Start writing first paper for PhD. Nope, change this one to: write and present PhD proposal.

Medical/Physical/Mental Health

1. Get medical check up (by March). Get thyroid levels checked. April: DONE; JUNE: results to come
2. Follow up on medical check up in May. ASK about thyroid results. RESCHEDULE 2nd appt. (now june 3). (Now 28 July.)
3. Get eye check up. (moved to early 2016)
4. Get dental check up. (moved to early 2016)
5. Get DTaP/pertussis booster shot (cheaper in NZ!). (moved to early 2016)
6. Meditate a few minutes every day.
7. Treat yo'self! Every month, get a massage or other deal via grabone to have some luxury me-time in the midst of super stressful PhD life. 
1. January: spa pedicure DONE
2. February: Hair wash, cut, style, and head massage 
3. March: 1 hour massage 
4. April: did nothing--too busy at work!
5. May: scheduled a mani-pedi
6. June: massage done
7. July: haircut
8. August: pampering scheduled for the day before I leave NZ for my trip
9. September: none; a trip home is pampering enough. :)
10. October: Float voucher? Massage voucher?
11. November: Artstation course (booked)
12. December:
8. Take up Pilates again 1 x week. moved to early 2016
   
9. Start tennis lessons 1x week again.moved to early 2016
10. Take weight/strength training class.moved to early 2016
11. Train for a Half Marathon. Nope.
12. Learn how to do the splits. moved to early 2016
13. Get flu shot.
14. Go to physio and get instructions for every day stretches for splits, hip openers, shoulder therapy. (early 2016)
15. Go to the dermatologist for eczema. (early 2016)

Other

1. Become a New Zealand citizen (expected by April 2015).
2. Get NZ passport.
3. Back up computer 4 times a year: March/June/September/December.
4. Identify staple pieces for wardrobe: Joanna Gaines Blog 1
5. Make a physical recipe book so that I no longer have to reference my laptop for recipes while cooking.
6. Log general mood and correlating habits (sleep, food, hormones) for 3 months. moved to early 2016
   
7. Time log for 1 week. [In progress]
8. Food diary for 1 week.  moved to early 2016

While in the US:

1. Update CV, LinkedIn, Academia, Twitter, blog, and staff pages.
2. Research ancestry.
3. Make family ancestry book, adding photos, records, family tree, and Mom's written accounts.
4. Learn how to use Scrivener and other writing tools (Qiqqa).
5. Review/update insurances, will, and Master Financial documents.
6. Work out a plan with family members to get enough airmiles to visit home for free again. UPDATE May 2015: I thought this was becoming hopeless, but Brad from Richmondsavers.com cleared up some things and I am now hopeful that I can gather enough points to travel home on airmiles in 2016 and possibly beyond! Will get 45K points from a chase cc this year, hopefully 50K more points next year, and use current points for next year's travel.

Changes and Reallocations

Just doing some housekeeping over here...switching up how my funds are distributed. I have so many weird categories now, and I don't need them!

Completed Funds:

$10K EF

$5K NZD Move Back to US (Now $4,207.82 USD) HSBC

$5K USD Roth IRA Fund HSBC

Bonus Bonds: $100 NZD

2012 Insurances Fund $2K NZD ($143.16 left)

Slush Fund ($5K, now: $1964.73)

2015 US Trip Fund $3K NZD

2016 US Trip $3K NZD

Leaving NZ Travel Fund $1480 left

Sanity Fund $1K NZD

Mental Health Fund $3K NZD

US Taxable Acct $3.6K NZD

My US Funds have been moved mostly to NZD. That gave me $11K to play with, since I no longer need to save up to move back to the US at a moment's notice. All of that money has been moved to other funds. 

I now just have a few categories:

$10K EF
$13K Europe Travel Fund! It is done! Yay!
$23,056.78 House Down Payment Fund (notice the jump? This is where most of my other funds have been funneled.) $250/mo will be contributed to this fund.
$250 Kiwisaver Lump Sum. $250/mo will be contributed to this fund. At the end of the year, or at some point, I'll make a lump sum payment into my NZ retirement vehicle. This is on top of increasing my contributions to 8%.
$3K 2015 US Trip 
$3K 2016 US Trip
$2K Insurances (topped this up; it was running low!)
$7K The No Worries PhD Fund. Awesome travel opportunity? Yep, I'm in. Go over budget accidentally one month? No worries. I'm not missing opportunities to do fun stuff during the course of my PhD, and I don't want to add financial stress to my PhD stress. That is what this fund is for: spending without impunity.

I don't have any other short-term fund goals right now. The main thing I want to do is travel, and I have funds for those things now. If I go under budget one month, I'll figure out where to put the excess when it happens.  I have a few material items I want to buy; a coat, a camera, all of Taylor Swift's closet...

2015 Personal Goals (and Resolution)

As mentioned before, 2014 was a great year for me, and I am in a good place right now. I hope this ability to create my own happiness continues through 2015. I love SaverSpender's/MochiMac's recent post listing the Dalai Lama's rules to live by, and hope to incorporate more of them in my daily life going forward.

In 2015, I have one simple but challenging resolution:

Sleep 8+ hours per night.

That's it.

Of course, I have many, many, (many!!) goals for 2015 (coming soon!), especially financial, but my overarching, #1 priority and resolution is to get enough sleep. Starting the PhD really messed up my sleep schedule; I both work and play way too hard. It is time to prioritize my health, starting with this most basic requirement. Because it is going to be so hard, I have decided to dedicate an entire year to it. I may take the next 5 years or so and devote each year to one resolution like this: eating healthy, exercising and meditating every day, nurturing my social network, having better posture and taking breaks at work--all the things you are supposed to do to live longer and happier.

Other plans for 2015:

• Travel. As I mentioned in my previous post, travel to see or with friends is my absolute favourite thing to do to recharge and fall in love with life again. I am at my utmost happiest when exploring new places (usually outdoors camping or on hikes) with friends. My best moments happen outside or while driving around, discussing life. Luckily, at a minimum, I have several trips I will need to take for work in 2015:
• An Arizona trip is coming up in the next 6 months. My aunt and cousin have friends with a holiday house in Pheonix, where I'll be, and I am hoping to stay an extra weekend or so after my work is done to meet up with my mom, aunt, and some cousins if possible. We want to see all sorts of things in the AZ: Meteor Crater, a petrified forest, and the Grand Canyon, among other sights.
• I also may have a trip to Prague in the latter half of the year if all goes well with my research. It'd be my first real trip to Europe!* My mom wants to come out and explore a little after my work is done.
• I am hoping to make it to Colorado to see friends, and home to my parents' house at some point in the year as well. It would be great if I could sneak in some more trips to neat NZ places, like skiing in Queenstown or Ruapehu again, another beach bach trip with friends, a few backpacking/hiking adventures to Milford track, Routeburn track, Round Tongariro, summit Ngauruhoe, hike some of the Hillary trail, and up to Crater Lake at Ruapehu's summit. I'd love to overnight it in Tiritiri Matangi to see this little guy in the wild.
• Be sworn in as an NZ citizen. I have been approved as a citizen now, but have to swear an oath to be official. Two passports: so bad ass. BOOM. 
• Take care of my financial house. This means reviewing all of my goals, my budget and spending, and both my NZ and US fund allocations. It may mean buying a pricey hour of a consultant here in NZ specializing in US tax laws. Any recommendations, people?
• Possibly buy half of a house (with a friend). This is up in the air quite a bit and would take a lot of money out of my Kiwisaver and personal savings, of course, but if it meant I could have a dog...! The friend is quite reliable and a great person, but I still need to get to know him better before taking that plunge.
• Become a Taylor Swift fan. (oh wait, I already am) I am a bit obsessed with not only her new album (which my intern and I rock out to constantly), but also her sense of style. I mean...those coats. I die. Perhaps my real goal here is to own more cute coats.

There are other goals that I will list in a future post to cross off and put on my sidebar official-like, but these are some of the big plans I have for 2015.

*I have been to London once, when I was 16, with a tour group with my high school English teacher and some classmates. But I don't really count that as European travel...

2014 Highlights and Lowlights

2014 has been a solid A. Highlights:

• Started my PhD. I moved forward in my career by starting a part-time PhD, and surprisingly, it is actually...fun so far! I don't really enjoy the constant stress and guilt it brings me when I am trying to not think about it or relax for a change, but the actual work is interesting because I am learning a ton, and because I feel like the end product is going to help people. Maybe even save people's lives. That feels AWESOME. 
• Became more visible professionally. I was interviewed on the radio and a story I pitched was featured in a national magazine. I was also quoted in the magazine article (which ended up being the feature cover story) and my picture was included. I was also interviewed for and featured in an article on a major US news network's online site, and featured in a post on a popular blog in my profession. Good stuff. I regularly use twitter to ask advice, and have made important connections with colleagues over that social media tool. I formed an outreach group for my department, and have plans to expand it and make it a part of many school's curriculum in Auckland. Very fun, and very cool. I am getting known for what I do.
• Traveled and saw loved ones. I was in San Diego last New Year's and saw many people that I love, I went to Tiritiri Matangi, the NZ bird sanctuary, with a friend, a few friends visited me in NZ, went home again to the US for a bit and saw friends and family, went swimming with dolphins and explored the Kaikoura/Christchurch coastlines (and saw friends), hiked the Tongariro Crossing again with visiting friends, and, most recently, spent time in beautiful Northland NZ...again with friends. Travel makes me so intensely happy, and travel to see or with people I like a lot or love feeds my soul. It needs to be a part of my life as much as possible. 
• Made several amazing new friends. While I met these people, sort of, at the end of last year, this year has solidified my spot in a friend group the likes of which I have not been a part of in over a decade. This all came about because I was brave and made myself apply for a spot in an incredibly challenging workshop for work in 2013. That two day course ended up changing my entire career and personal life in New Zealand. Amazing how small actions can end up having huge consequences--the flap of a butterfly's wing.
• Moved into a sweet new place. This is also a lowlight of 2014, but I have come to recognize it as a positive. I have made my new place my home, finally. I am now only a 5 minutes' walk away from my workplace, and I am literally two buildings away from where my best friend lives...with his sweet pool and hot tub and amazing balcony views. Luckily he gave me spare keys. ;) 

The worst parts of 2014 are few but pretty intense:

• *My sister has now been in a depressed, hallucinogenic, paranoid schizophrenic episode for over 7 months now, after being in a relatively sane spot for the longest time since she got sick: about 1.5 years. We were hopeful that the sane episode would last forever, but it didn't. She is now living in a group home about an hour away from my parents, and goes into the mental hospital every few months, only to come out worse each time. I don't know what is going on, but she has now decided not to really engage with us, her family, really, and is very hostile to all of us, to the point where she has expressed that she would rather be homeless than stay in her group home (which she hates, so this is a worry) or live at my parents' house. She did ill-advisedly visit home over Christmas for one night and stole money from my Dad's wallet, something she has never done before. This behavior is completely unlike her. It is likely she won't be allowed for overnight visits again out of fear for the safety of the family home and its occupants, as well as the fact that we cannot trust her with our belongings now. We have never had to fear for our lives from her actions, but I know, in the back of all of our heads, we all think we do now.
• My dad's health is declining. He is sleeping even more and is in a lot of pain. The doctors took away the only medications that curb his pain out of fear that he'd become addicted. I wonder why they think a life lived in constant pain is better than risking addiction?
• My parents' marriage is crumbling very quickly. It is sad to see. 
• I was evicted from my beloved apartment of 5+ years after a lot of drama. But like the Dalai Lama's Rule to Live #4, sometimes not getting what you want is the best thing that can happen to you.
• My love life is non-existent. Finally, in a far off last place on this list, despite trying really hard, I am forced to admit that I am really terrible at guys! It is completely laughable. I was totally rejected earlier this year after my hopes were way, way up, and then I met another guy who was interesting, but my advances were ignored (turns out that he is in a very complicated situation, so I forgive him, but...it still stung). I made a few other attempts at making something happen with a few other guys, but none of them have panned out. I feel like I am running out of options and time and like I have absolutely no allure or guy-getting skills, so I have all but given up. I'm just having fun with friends from now on...if I meet someone, I meet someone.

So that was my year. I loved almost every second. I hope my fun continues!

Philosophising, as you do

Ah, the end of one year and the beginning of the next...and I have a week off from work. What better time to perform an emotional check up on yourself?

I am in love with my life right at this very second. That doesn't mean that it is perfect or that I am not intensely sad, frustrated, or angry about certain situations, but it does mean that overall, I am content and incredibly grateful for everything that I have earned and been given.

I was just thinking this morning about how much hardships have affected my attitude towards life. Much like most others at that age, especially adolescents and 20-somethings, I used to be pretty pessimistic and emo and very down on myself. I was a wallower. I held grudges. I kept everything inside. I tried to control situations and people without telling them what I wanted or being flexible. It was totally exhausting and kept me from moving forward and becoming a better, happier person. I was just in my own way.

In the past few years I feel like I have blossomed (a grossly cliche word, but apt here) into someone that bounces back. And fast. I still do a lot of the above wallow-y, control freak-y things, but now try to fight those instincts when I recognize them in myself. And I know that in those moments that things are awful and feel terrible and like they'll never get on track and like I'm just a huge FAILURE at life--this feeling is temporary. There are things I can do to make myself feel better. I don't have to wallow. No matter how awful things are, I have seen them get better in the past. The awful feelings have faded, and they will again. And somehow, some way, I'm back to happy again in what seems like no time at all. I think I have gained this ability mostly from the fallout of my father's and sister's illnesses. Watching my sister fall apart and pick up the pieces of her life, time and time again, have taught me what it means to be resilient. Even though she is in the worst place I have ever seen her in in our lives (*future post), her persistent struggle to overcome her chronic, incurable and devastating illness in whatever way she can over the past 14 years still inspires me every single day.

So I think I am in a very good place right now. I hope it continues through 2015.

Happy New Year, everyone!