What I Think I'm Looking For In Travel Insurance (?)

Every year, I try to visit my family in the US from New Zealand. Early on, I didn't really know about/didn't care about travel insurance, but more recently - especially after the pandemic - all the 'what ifs' pertaining to getting sick in the US have started keeping me up at night, and travel insurance has therefore become a hot topic in my mind. 

But it is still a total mystery to me. What is it? What does it cover? How do you use it? Most importantly, for this stage of travel (i.e. I've bought my flights for my trip this November!), how do I choose which policy/company to go with???

I've read several articles online, but this topic is just rife with sponsored ads and such, and it is very very hard to get real reviews and opinions and comparisons, especially ones that pertain to my situation: I'm traveling TO the US rather than from the US to some third world country where Americans imagine everything going wrong. (Of all the links I've clicked, this article seems to be the most comprehensive and understandable; the Canstar ratings also seem useful.)

Here is what I think I need/want, given what I've read:

1. Unlimited medical coverage, including for covid
   
2. High sum personal liability coverage (e.g. $1M+)
   
3. Car rental coverage
4. Cancel trip for any reason coverage
5. company with great reviews
   

Finding all of these has proven impossible. I came close with 1 policy that had everything but didn't allow me to choose specific dates for the rental car coverage (like other policies did); another great one didn't allow me to buy it until I'm 6 months from my trip. 

Some are confusing - they ask when you made an 'initial trip deposit' and when you'll make your final deposit. But I didn't do that - I just bought flights! What do they mean, deposit?? Also, some make you buy the policy before you make your first deposit, some require you to buy it within 7 days of your first deposit, others 21 days. What is up with the "6 month" policy, then?

Also, getting coverage in the US as a US citizen but NZ resident makes me ineligible for US-based policies. WHY??? They do not expound on this. Clearly, I need to cut back on my expectations. But which ones?

Also also, *all* of the companies have huge red flags in their reviews, with at least several dozen people staying that they were screwed over by the company and that they paid hundreds of dollars for useless coverage when it came down to crunch time. That is very disheartening...

I don't know what I'm doing. In the past I've gotten fed up and just picked one to be done with it, but now I'm more worried. What if I actually need to use the insurance this time?

Do you have any travel insurance tips or companies that you'd recommend? 

 

My Current ADHD Struggles

After being diagnosed a year or so ago, I've been on meds, off meds, researched, tried new techniques and systems, and have come to better understand why I act / acted the way I act / acted and think much much more, e.g.,:

• Why am I always 30 mins early or ~5+ minutes late, no matter how hard I try to be on time? 
• Why can't I plan out my work well, and stick to it? 
• Why am I good at certain things and utterly SUCK at other things??
• Why do certain things bother me more than they bother other people?
• Why do I have problems socially and seem to *feel* rejection more deeply?
  

Since completing a perfectionism therapy module several years ago and receiving my diagnosis, I have dealt with my difficulties by generally giving myself multiple hall passes in an effort to be more compassionate towards myself. 

But this doesn't work when it comes to doing things I know I *should* be doing. Not with my ADHD brain. So far, the only things that make me do something that I don't really want to do are: 

1. Beating myself up and telling myself I'm many horrible iterations of the worst person alive if I don't do the thing
2. Strict accountability in the form of external pressure and deadlines - X will think I'm many horrible iterations of the worst person alive if I don't do the thing
3. Being able to make someone else happy: Y person is going to be so grateful that I did this thing and they're going to think I'm awesome
   

I don't want to do the first thing anymore - I'm much more mentally healthy now that I largely don't bash myself all the time. Unfortunately, my boss's working style does not include any accountability. Her approach is like, maybe you could do this, as you'd like, if you wanted to, and then she just *trusts* that things will get done without her needing to do or say anything. Even when I ask for accountability, she never follows through. That is frustrating and it also means that, for the things that I don't particularly like doing (ahem, my PhD), there's nothing making me do it, because it is entirely for myself. Not doing my PhD doesn't impact anyone else except for me very much, so that crosses #3 off of my list. 

Currently, I'm struggling with my PhD. Doing it is all I think about yet I can't bring myself to DO IT. At my last therapist appointment last July (when I could afford it), she said I should stop being so soft on myself and giving myself so much leeway. I have no idea how to do that without beating myself up, though. How?? How to motivate myself without the stick, to pull out the carrot-or-the-stick analogy? I give myself the carrots all the time because I have no self control - when I want something, I'm an adult, I'm not going to deprive myself (within reason, of course). This is probably why I'm 20 lbs heavier than I was 5 years ago (along with my hypothyroid and normal pandemic concerns keeping me from my beloved gym classes of course). And what 'carrots' could I give myself that I don't already use to 1. keep myself organized and 2. get life admin like laundry/cleaning/cooking done?? I let myself watch/listen to tv shows and podcasts while doing boring things like meal planning, cleaning, cooking for the week, and sometimes if I have a craving, I stop by McDonalds for a treat or dessert the days that I go on long walks. What else could I possibly use to motivate myself to do my PhD work when I'm on such a tight budget??

I'm really at a loss for how to make myself finish this stupid PhD thing. There just doesn't seem to be much reward for doing it, and that is what I need. 

I went off meds when I went to the US and suspended my PhD last August - I didn't see the need while on vacation or doing stuff I love doing for my job. But now that I'm enrolled in my PhD again, I have started on meds again, slowly, like the doc recommended when I first started. It has helped a tiny bit with motivation for everything but the PhD so far. I'll increase my dose now that I'm on week 3 and see if that helps. I just need a kickstart! Something to get me motivated. I'm so desperate! I wish I could afford to see a therapist again to brainstorm ways to self motivate without beating myself up. Til then, to Dr Google I go. 

Tips welcome!