Life Update
GRIEF
- Let's start with the biggest issue and the thing consuming most of my life right now: grief.
- February was the third full month without my dad. I have never ever ever
in my life gone that long without talking to him. It is still so
unimaginable. The reality and permanence is only just now starting to
hit. I completely broke down on the 3 month anniversary of the phone
call that he had hours to live. I've been a huge mess for DAYS.
A saving grace: I was able to salvage a recording of the last video call I ever had with him. It was nine days before he passed away. He went into the hospital 4 days later and didn't come out alive. I do not normally video call him or my family for our weekly calls and I have no idea what possessed me to record it, but I did. When I checked the video afterward, it was all green lines, no images of my dad. I thought it was lost forever and I was so angry at myself for not recording it properly. I asked chatgpt what I could do to see if I could fix it, and it guided me through the steps to see if there were any images at all in it. Turns out, there were - the whole last 10 minutes of our 40 minute phone call were salvageable on video (I have the full audio too). So I have the last ten minutes that we ever spoke to each other on video and audio. Along with a voicemail recording from my grandmother, a ring heirloom from my other grandmother, a 'worry stone' (smooth shell) that my dad gave me as a teenager on a beach vacation, and my written journals, it is the most precious thing I own. I sent it to my mom and sister for my mom's birthday so they could enjoy it as well. - I started going to an online group
grief counseling on the last day of the month. It was only the first
session but is already very helpful and comforting. I was so, so nervous to
join. It was only $25 USD and meets weekly for 3 months. So far, it is
already well worth the $25. I am looking forward to next week already.
HEALTH & LIVING
- Still no flatmate. I'm spending so much money on rent now! But I break down doing dishes sometimes. I still need so much space and alone time to process and just...breathe and cry and wail. I do not want to feel like I have to mute my grief. So right now I think it is worth it. What is money for if not a situation like this? I'm so grateful my circumstances allow me to front the full rent without dipping into savings at all.
- My fieldwork is done so I signed up for the gym again. I have my first class on Monday. It is time to start building strength again.
- At my Dr's appt. in November, I
asked the doc about
issues with my thumb/hands, feeling dizzy when I stand up after sitting
for a while, and perimenopause. She just looked at me like I was a
hypochondriac. She said she should refer me to get scans but won't if I
don't have private health insurance. I decided to buy it for a year with low excess just in case, get all of the scans and such that year, then increase the excess next year, or downgrade the policy, or cancel it depending on finances, travel plans, and how my health is.
I did oodles of research and decided on Southern Cross's Well Being Two plan w/ day to day module. It is $238/mo w/ discounts from my employer. I'll use it enough to cover the cost of the day to day add on module plan (about $25/mo), but the Well being two plan will only be cost-beneficial if I have to get surgery and/or tons of scans/imaging. We'll see I guess.
- Still none of that is happening.
- My sister went into the hospital again. I think that is the third time this year already?
- Mom had her first birthday w/o Dad in over 50 years. I think things are finally starting to hit home. I wish I could be there.
PhD & WORK
- I am starting to catch up on some of my ongoing work and deadlines.
- Supervisors
and the University have started to pressure me to re-choose a PhD
defense date. I am nowhere near emotionally ready. I'm tempted to float
end May/June and see what they say. The defense is my biggest emotional
trigger so it will take me longer to feel ready for it.
- With the high rent, gym membership, and new private health insurance, my spending is way above normal.
- It is looking like I will have to go freelance starting in September this year. Either that or I will have no house, no father...AND no job.
- I finally rebalanced my entire NZ-US portfolio so that I'm more diversified and at the risk level I'd like to be at. I can't lie, I paid for chatgpt for 1 month and had it run some analyses, then checked the results against some advice I found online. I have started transferring NZD to my US bank account. I kept waiting until the exchange rate was favorable, but I don't think that's happening anytime soon, so might as well just bite the bullet. That money I transferred will be invested in my non-retirement brokerage account.
- I also inspected my Kiwisaver in light of concerns about US tax issues. Depending on who you ask, the Kiwisaver could be considered a retirement account and not subject to trust and PFIC rules but also could be subject to those things. To be on the safe side, I moved everything into two broad funds (within the diversification process) that would result in minimal paperwork if PFIC rules apply. Whew. I'm seeing a tax accountant at some point this year that was recommended by my friend, another US person that went freelance.
- I finished doing my US taxes. I just need to print and send them off (the electronic ones never work for me).
- This month my challenge was to get back on the healthy exercise and eating train, and I will continue those efforts next month. I weigh myself regularly and am actively tracking my hunger levels and foods I eat. The scale isn't budging but I think it is good to just be aware of my habits.
February 2026 Budget
I am earning a full salary now so things are extremely comfortable. I'm able to spend and save at levels like never before.
Income: $6,124.65
Salary: $5,735.40
Lending Crowd repayments: $124.03
Zagga repayments: $5.22
Garage rent: $260
Spending: $3,979.03 (65%)
Savings: $2,145.62 ($1,674.43 converted to $1K USD and invested; $471.19 NZD moved to Squirrel towards my $25K Freelance Start Up Consultancy Fund (designed to cover my minimum costs for 1 year)
Spending categories (budgeted amount in parentheses):
Rent: $2,240 - no flatmate
Groceries: $491.59 ($500)
Electricity & Internet: $192.24 ($300)
Eating out: $186.81 ($250) - Garden Shed dinner, drinks, and dessert w/ friend; 2x McDonalds; 2 big burritos from Zambrero; 3 Moustache cookies to share with 5 friends; (also ate at Town Mouse with friend but I consider that a gift since I paid for her meal - she was having a really rough day)
Charity: $30 ($50)
Cell phone: $17 ($20)
Medical: $50.49 ($100) - group grief counseling; iron tablets
Misc: $590.90 ($1K)
alcohol: $0 - I did have one strawberry margarita at Garden Shed (but I categorized it w/ Eating out because I don't remember how much it was!) and I had two ciders one night but friends bought them for me
entertainment: $80.09 - $50.09 for two libro.fm audiobook credits (I really wanted to listen to Jay Manuel's Next Top Model "fiction" book after watching the doco); paid $30 for a book written by an old timer in my field that I found myself emailing with randomly! He sounded so enthralled someone wanted to talk to him about his experiences in the field, but his stories are so fascinating. I can't wait to read his book.
self care: $177.97 - 2 massages; 1 pilates class. My regular masseuse awkwardly hugged me after she asked me why I'd been away and I told her the truth.
fees: $78.75 - $10 and $28.75 for annual membership dues for two local clubs; $40 for chatgpt for a month - it is helpful for things like parsing through long documents, working through options for things like NZ health insurance, editing or drafting difficult emails, and managing my daily ADHD schedule and juggling all the pill timings with/without food!
gifts: $40.70 - treated friend to Town Mouse lunch.
goods and wants: $124.97 - $26.99 for a hip pack for fieldwork from Mountain Warehouse; $44 for period underwear from Kmart; $7 for a spray bottle and travel containers from Daiso; $19.99 for some fluffy slippers; $26.99 for shoe repair kit (the sole of my hiking boots started to delaminate during my fieldwork!!)
transportation: $88.42 - 11 trips on escooters around town, mainly to get groceries. 1 Mevo car trip for $34.78.
travel: $0
Savings and Funds Activity Update
- I
transferred $1K's worth of USD to my US bank account this month, bringing the total to invest up to the $3K minimum needed for entry to a new Admiral fund in my brokerage account.
- I
have about $104K in Rabobank. I really need to transfer some funds
elsewhere because $100K is the limit that is insured by the NZ
government. The funds are split between a notice saver, a premium saver,
and a regular old raboplus account. There is apparently a trick I can
use to move funds from my premium saver account which requires the
balance of the account to be $50 more than at the start of the month in
order to qualify for a higher interest rate.
- I have ~$51K in an on-call account earning 2% p.a. in Squirrel, with $4300 of that money invested in various peer-to-peer loans at $100 each at 6 to
6.5% p.a.
- I made no Zagga investments this month (again). With the housing market
being so soft, I just don't...trust it? It is also $1K a pop in
investments, and I'm not comfortable putting that many eggs in one
basket. I have ONE loan out and I'm seeing how it all works. I receive about $5.22 per month from that investment.
- I am waiting for Lending Crowd to start up again.
-
I've met all of my short and medium term savings goals, and
then some. In lieu of goals, I have decided to save up for the
eventuality that I will have no home and no job this September. This
slush fund will also serve as a start up fund in case I go freelance
as
well. I am calling it my "Freelance Consultancy Start Up Fund" for now. I aim to save up $25K to cover the minimum costs to survive one year. Any funds left over at the end of the month will get split between my US investments and this fund. Any interest I earn from my savings will also go towards this fund. I have about $5K more to save.
Net Worth Tracking
NZ Savings (cash): $156,599.62 NZD. This includes invested in peer to peer loans.
Peer to peer lending: $6,111.66 (Zagga, Squirrel, open principal at Lending Crowd)
- LendingCrowd: $824.52 NZD - principal still owed, repaid with interest in weekly installments
- Zagga: ~$946 NZD
- Squirrel: $4,341.37 NZD
Kiwisaver: $129,796.31 NZD
US investments: $73,279.36 USD
Total Net Worth - NEW METHOD (FEBRUARY 2026): $312,172.84 NZD
I now only count long-term savings and investments in my Net Worth. This month's NW represents an increase of $4,962.14 NZD since last month, and an increase of $9,878.87 NZD since the beginning of the year.
What is counted in my Net Worth now:
$60K NZD Former House Down Payment Fund (I will drip feed this into US investments), Kiwisaver (NZ retirement), Roth IRA, Traditional IRA, Berkshire Hathaway investment fund (non-dividend yield fund), non-retirement investment account.
No comments:
Post a Comment