Washington DC

Any suggestions for bars, clubs, or restaurants for next Friday - Sunday? Especially Happy Hours...trying to save money where we can!

Taking over the District

I'll be flying home next week to the East Coast. I am trying to see as many people as possible on my 3-week trip home, and it just so happens that the ONLY time I can see my 3 girls from grad school is in DC, next weekend. Our schedules mesh for that time and that time only, and that's just barely--one of them has to take Sunday off for that even to happen.

So, I'll have a 24+ hour flight through LA and Cleveland, and then fly into my home state around 10 pm. From there, I have an hour's drive to my parents' house (they will come pick me up so I don't have to drive after my looonng flights). I'll have to immediately eat some yummy American junk food and shower, and then go to bed, because I will not have slept in approximately 40 hours at that point! As soon as I wake up the next day, I'll have to start the 3-4 hour drive up to DC, relearning the right-hand side techniques of driving again! Luckily it's all mostly interstate, anyway.

Ah, but it will be so worth it. I haven't seen a few of these gals in years, although we talk pretty regularly. For the four years I was in grad school, we were inseparable from the day that I flew in until the day I flew out. They are all distributed across the northeast now--Philly, NYC, and Boston. One of them happens to be in DC for work, so the other two are flying in while I'm driving up to DC. I'm so excited that this is working out!

On top of that, my best friend from college just moved to DC. He knows these girls from his trip out to visit me in grad school, and they all get along. So I get 4 best friends for the price of one trip!

The costs will be:

--gas to/from DC
--groceries (place we are staying has a kitchen)
--dinners and drinks out
--any tourist activities (?? no idea...we're all science-y so we'll probably hit up the Smithsonian Natural History M.)
--$103 per person for 3 nights for accomodation with kitchen, fold out couch, king size bed, etc. in the downtown area (one of the friends has a special government rate so doesn't pay taxes/fees and gets a discount for the place)

Parking is taken care of because I can park in my friend's guest spot at his apartment.

Hmmm, I'll also have to have my suitcase ready to go to DC so I don't have to worry about it when I wake up and rock out of the door to DC.

I love traveling to see people I like! It won't be so fun coming back the other way...even if it is NZ!

Brainstormin'

Whoa, y'all, it is lightnin 'n' thunderin' up in here!

I guess I've been feeling a bit aimless and lost lately. I don't have my contract at work yet, so I may not have a job after August 4. I may have to leave NZ then, too (there's no point staying here unless I have my current job, and other jobs here are scarce). I have been looking at jobs near my parent's house to see what's out there. Wooo, man, even for my back up career, the jobs are few and far between. Usually there are tens of job postings for that kind of work, and I think I found about two within a 60 mile radius of my parent's house. And the salary for them is probably not that great.

Any plans I had for marriage and kids in the near future are scrapped (and I'm just not looking or ready to think about dating now--that probably won't change for a very long time).

So. Yeah. 31 (in a few weeks) and I'm going nowhere. This job I have has no equivalent in the US, so even though I LOVE MY JOB, it doesn't really help me in terms of my long-term aspirations. At best, I'm getting some training in some software that may come in handy later.

But seriously, I am not going to be able to rock up to Monster.com and find the next rung on the ladder. Once this job ends, so does this career. That fact makes this whole NZ escapade feel somewhat pointless.

The theme of my life lately has been one of, 'WTF AM I DOING?!' And that applies to basically every facet of my life: career, friendships, family, relationships. I am just sort of floating along with no plan, no goals (except financial), and no direction. I am searching in vain for an anchor. And in the absence of one, my brain has been grasping for anything that feels vaguely satisfying and goal-worthy. Maybe this is partly why people have kids: to have a purpose.

Hence all the goals and plans posts.

My new-new idea is to finish up here in NZ in two years (crossed fingers), move home, and live at my parents' house while I save up money for a downpayment on a house. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! I'm sure they'd let me, and I'd of course pay some rent and utils in return. I'd have to commute about an hour each way, but hopefully that would only last for the 5-8 months of solid saving.

I actually looked on real estate listings today. My plan is to buy a cute 2-3 bed, 2-3 bath townhouse with a fenced in yard (for a dog), and a community pool and fitness room, and then rent out one of the other bedrooms to help pay the mortgage. Prices may bounce back in the next few years, but I can find all that for about $150-$250K.

So if I do get my contract, I can work towards that goal for the next two years, and have some idea of what my next step is. Because while it is liberating and exciting for to drift for a certain amount of time, it gets stale and frightening after too long. Life starts to pass you by, and you realize that you have nothing to show for it.

Yesterday was BAAAAAD.

And not in the awesome Michael Jackson way.

I live for my work here in NZ, ever since XBF and I broke up and the kids at work basically started shunning me for no reason at all. (They ignore me completely, even when I directly ask them a question or say hello. If a higher-up is in the room and I ask a work question, only then do they respond to me.) Somehow I've become the new enemy. ? It's weird and stupid.

I honestly have done nothing to these people except be friendly, go out for drinks once in a while, and play with them on their team. I actually thought a few of us were friends. I guess people feel like they have to choose sides in a nasty breakup. *shrug* And I didn't even precipitate the breakup OR cheat on XBF. Or lie to his face. I don't get it. I think the 'worst' thing that I've done is take him up on his offer to pay for the apartment until August, when I'll know if I can stay in the country or have to leave. He was a huge reason why I'm here, and if I hadn't have applied for permanent residency, I would HAVE to leave the country then (if PR doesn't come through in the next month and a half, I WILL have to leave!). I appreciate that he's stuck to his word (with a little bit of reminding from me) so far.

So back to yesterday--I completely screwed up at work. I crashed a multi-million dollar machine, one that apparently took 5 years to build from scratch. Singlehandedly, I corrupted 3 years worth of sample files. SINGLE HANDEDLY.

I had asked for help with this particular project, and had a firm deadline. When the people that I asked for help from didn't show up, and I couldn't find them to help me, I decided to get the job done myself. I found a how-to folder near the machine, marked clearly as the how-to folder for that particular machine, and completed my task in a half an hour. Easy-peasy. Or so I thought. Everything was working perfectly when I left the machine.

Turns out, that how-to folder is obsolete. Everything I did was WRONG.

What is surprising is how easy it was to mess up. (They think) that it took changing my sample folder name on the computer that controls the machine to do all that damage.

I know how badly I messed up. I'm upset about it, very much so. It shouldn't have happened, but I don't think it was entirely my fault. A) if folder names shouldn't be changed, there should be a lock on them, or at least a warning that pops up. B) those files should be backed up somewhere. C) that obsolete how-to folder should not be in plain sight of the operator of the machine. and D) if someone asks for help and you make an appointment to help before the deadline, you should show up.

I was so flustered about that craziness that later I dropped a tiny sample that is super-important to the project I'm working on. I dropped this sample on a textured, patterned floor, and the tweezers I was using shot it across the room. I heard the sample hit some metal, and then there was silence. Silence and crossed eyes. For about 2 hours while some people helped me find it again. At least we did find it. Whew.

I apologized for screwing everything up on the machine, and explained the dilemma I had as best as I could. There is a slight possibililty that it isn't completely my fault--everything was working fine when I left the machine, and a coworker of mine used it after me. However, I am currently taking all the blame for the mess up, because I was around and offered up the easiest explanation for why it was corrupted when it was discovered.

I feel just awful. I feel like so many things have spiraled out of my control and ability to do well lately--my relationship, my 'friendships,' my health, now my job. Despite the social aspect there, my job is THE most enjoyable, happy thing about my life in NZ. I'm doing what I love, and it is so disheartening to make such a huge mistake. I'm very disappointed in myself. When things like this happen I have the urge to slink back to retail, where I can't screw anything up too badly. Right now, I guess you could say that I suck at life.

In spite of all that, I remain an eternal optimist! I keep trying, I don't give up, I keep doing the best I know how. That has to count for something! To keep some perspective, I remind myself that it could be so much worse. If I were a doctor, someone could have died, or have been seriously injured. That machine I crashed still works, but those files are lost forever. Hopefully most of them were not needed anymore. And if they were, hopefully the user has copies of them somewhere (I kept copies of all the files I made). If not--it's only money and time that were lost. Hopefully something good comes out of this (like a new how-to folder, a lock on file names, and maybe the machine director keeping his/her appointments).

But if my contract comes through, I'm not going to ask for a raise like I planned. If they dock my salary, I'll take it. I'll just be grateful that they haven't fired me yet.

On a brighter note, I think that I'm going to get to see several of my really good friends during my trip home next week!! Our schedules have quite miraculously lined up.

Flashback

Oh my...I was going through some of my old posts and stumbled upon this one. How lovely that two years later, my wish had come true??

Goals

What with my 2009 goals finished, I'm in a tizzy choosing new ones (as you probably noticed). I continue my tizzy here.

2009 (July - December) Goals

1. Make non-work friends
2. Fill out US EF goal to $5K USD (approx. $3.8K NZD)
3. Say yes to as many social activities as I can muster
4. Keep learning how to play chess and knit and paint
5. join that club I've been meaning to join
6. work out regularly
7. learn to cook more frugally and inexpensively
8. explore! New Zealand and its surroundings whenever there is time, money, and energy
9. maximize my time working for these very smart people; make the most of this opportunity to work in the field that I adore
10. Stop being so lazy; OR figure out why I'm so tired all of the time (ie see more doctors, take better care of myself [eating/sleeping/exercise habits], try new medications/herbs?)
11. Implement my 15 minute method again.
12. Work on happiness goals.
13. Try Meetup.com
14. Get over the XBF situation at work. FOR REAL.
15. Kick my internet addiction.

2010 Goals (Financial)

1. Save $6K for US travel
2. Save $4K for NZ, Oz, Pacific Islands Travel
3. Fill out my #1 and #2 slush fund objectives

5 Goals for the next 5 Years:

1. Gain useful skills and contacts in my current job that will set me up for a future career in the US at the organization I want.
2. Move back to the US, get a job at the organization I want.
3. Save up for a house downpayment; get a dog.
4. Be able to max out my Roth every year I'm in the US
5. Half-max my 401K, at least.

10 Goals for the next 10 Years:

1. Get married
2. Have kids if we want them
3. Max out my 401K
4. Keep my job at the organization I want to work in
5. Travel to Europe
6. Stay out of debt
7. Hire a personal trainer (until I can figure out how to maintain myself)
8. Hire a nutritionist (until I can figure out how to maintain myself)
9. Go to a therapist and work on any issues I have
10. Find a church I like or other spiritual outlet (I'm against organized religion as a whole but I recognize my need for some sort of higher purpose and order to this crazy life)

New Idea...

I should create a sort of NZ slush fund to be converted to USD when the exchange rates rebound again. I've met my NZ 2009 goals already, so the rest is just gravy, and can wait until a choice time to convert!

I need to concentrate on a house downpayment, and most of all--retirement!! That area needs some major work. When I do move back to the US and assuming I can get a good job, I will be eligible to contribute to a 401K or its equivalent again, and also my Roth! So, when I get back to the US, I can immediately have my annual Roth contribution set up, and live off of the rest of that slush fund while most of my paycheck goes to catching up on my retirement. Or should I save it for a house downpayment? Oy. Well, that bridge has yet to come in my journey.

My long-term, dream financial goal, to be achieved in the next 30 years:

1) Max out Roth IRA every year ($5K +)
2) Max out 401K every year ($16.5K +)
3) Be able to save at least $1K a month ($12K)
4) Live off of the rest (approx. $24K/year)
5) Save up for a house downpayment, and pay off my mortgage
6) Somehow ALSO save up for a wedding fund, kids' college funds, and some fun European (and north and south american, AND African AND Australian) travel in there.

With a 30% tax rate (which hopefully includes medical insurance payments, Medicare, disability, state taxes, etc.), I'd need a salary of about $100K, $85K for just goals 1 through 4. Sigh. I feel like I'll never get there. I currently make $50K NZD, which is equivalent to about $30K USD! That is just depressing. How on earth am I supposed to get there? I feel like I am running out of time to save! I can do 1, 3, and 4 pretty easily, but the rest of it is pretty tough given my salary.

You eat an elephant one bite at a time. So, I will try to do the following:

My first goal will be to finish saving my US EF of $5K. That's about $3,677 NZD. Next, I'll save for one year's worth of Roth contributions ($5K USD; $8,334 NZD), then go for a house downpayment if I've got any time left. That way, when I get back to the States, I'll have my yearly Roth contribution ready to go, a baby EF set up, and the beginning of a house downpayment fund. I'm assuming that any extra NZD (my $10K NZ EF, for example) will probably be eaten up by moving and set up costs such as rental security deposits, furniture, car buying, and the like.

I'll also need to set up some goals for 2010. Traveling to see my family will again cost around $6K a year or so (assuming prices increase a bit), and then I'll also want to travel to Australia, Antarctica, around NZ, and some islands, and buy some quintessential NZ keepsakes like artwork, sheepskin something or others, and ...I'm not sure what else ($4K).

Oh, I sincerely hope I get a raise with my new contract (which apparently was signed last week and is going through HR at the moment).