My mood is spastic of late, but today was the worst. Example: I woke up extremely happy today, enjoyed the sunshine and had a leisurely breakfast, went shopping, and then one little incident blew up into a huge deal and I almost wound up crying in a store. I finished my errands and came home. By that time I'd gone through my cycle of calming myself down and putting things into perspective, but the damage was done--my happy mood had evaporated and the stress just left me exhausted. How could I let a stupid little thing ruin my whole day, turn into something that I beat up myself about?? I went from pretty motivated to improve my life and happy, to nearly convincing myself to never leave the house again, because I couldn't trust myself to do some due diligence.
I could blame the intense homesickness I've been experiencing, or the post-vacation blues, but I have a feeling that they are just more symptoms of a mood disorder. So is all the shopping and spending I've been doing. Today's damage: $300.
To counteract this craziness, I prepared a balanced, healthy meal with lots of veggies tonight, and I'm going running at 7 pm, as part of Earth Hour, when you switch all of your electric appliances off.
I'll post the incident at another time, because it has to do with $$. :)
4 comments:
Oh dear, that's not good news at all. Hope your run helped!
thanks! Things are fine now (I think!). PMS, I guess! i ate a huge salad, ran, and had a super social evening with lots of hugs and love and attention. That combo usually works for me! In any case, it seems to have done the trick to reboot my mood meter.
Things have been setting me off lately, too. Stupid stuff. I feel like I'm on edge all the time.
I am currently under-employed - I'm an engineer but I'm working for the post office, schleping buckets of mail around at 5 in the morning until I find a "real" job. I'm making $9/hr, which isn't much. I was getting nearly 40 hours a week but lately it's been 2 hours a day (I've been taking up the slack while people were out for surgeries, vacations, etc.) and I think they aren't going to need me much longer, so my stress levels are really high.
I can't live on 2 hours a day but I can't quit til I have something else, either.
And there are 2 female mail carriers who've made my life hell since I started in January. They yell at me (so much for zero tolerance on harassment at the post office...) and one of them saw me sorting mail a couple of weeks ago and said "Oh, we'll never get our mail, they've got a f***ing tortoise sorting it."
OK, now I'm 40 years old. I'm not a teenager with no work ethic. I bust my butt moving that mail every day. I'm definitely not slow at it. Who is this woman calling me a f'ing tortoise??? Seriously. And when I bring up the treatment I'm getting my brother (also works for the post office) tells me I'm too sensitive and I should just shut up and take it.
Oh, sorry to vent...anyone ever had a problem with bullies at work? I'd love to pop her right in the face but I've applied for other postal engineering jobs (I actually have an interview for one later this week, finally!) and I have to keep my record clean (no fighting for me!) I usually just walk away from her but it's getting really hard to do! When she called me that I went into the bathroom and burst into tears. I'm a fighter, not a pacifist! LOL It's killing me not to put her in her place with words, which I'm really good at.
Wow, Mary!! That sounds like a really tough situation!! I hate when work people don't act professionally, and cross lines into personal. Those two ladies must be really jealous of you (you obviously get to leave as soon as you find a better job!), and/or really unhappy with their lives, to want to make your life so miserable. You're better than that. YOU know that the things that they say aren't true! It's a job for you to get by, nothing more than that. I would probably just put up my walls and ignore the idiots if at all possible, which it sounds like you are doing. Are you allowed to wear headphones or something while sorting mail? Just anything that will distract you and keep you from hearing them and letting them get to you. Why isn't your boss helping you with this?!
I can see why you're having a hard time emotionally--job loss, financial stress, job search, interviews, unsympathetic brother, hating your work, really mean coworkers--that is a LOT to handle! be good to yourself on your time off. good luck with the interview, you'll be those biatch's boss before you know it!
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