I must be reeling from all the change--moving, bf, deaths, illnesses, on top of normal stresses--I woke up this morning absolutely hating life and completely unable to drag myself out of bed for work. I won't have any more personal finance success stories to tell if I keep going at this rate--I won't have any income!
I vow to do better. I've GOT to get on the ball in terms of eating better, working out regularly, keeping in touch with friends/family, and being on-point at work.
These are all the things that make you happier, according to this article by MP Dunleavey. In reverse order (somewhat):
6) Fun. Can't be Serious Sally ALL the time. Take time to do what you love. Kind of a no-brainer--most people do this in excess, as it is always preferable to work. people paying very close attention to their finances, however, sometimes ignore this essential item. What is the point of money if you are unhappy? Most people, women in particular, obsess over money so they feel secure, which, once achieved, frees one up to enjoy the things that make them feel happy (even if you must spend a little to do so).
I need to work on this one, and refine my budget so I have some room to play.
5) Financial Sanity. Always worrying about how to pay the rent does NOT make for a happy life.
As I recently keep finding out, having a stash of money for emergencies takes the edge off of those Oh my God! That's half of my paycheck! moments. And there is no better feeling than being debt-free and keeping it that way by living below your means.
4) Good health. Amen! A disabled father and a mentally ill sister has taught me that it is very hard to be happy when you are limited by your own body. Take care of it as best you can by eating healthfully and getting regular exercise. This does not mean never eating chocolate (see #6), but I think a most-of-the-time approach works better than a never or all the time one.
I also need to seriously spend some time and money on this one. Put it in the budget!
3) Finding what excites you, and building your skills and knowledge in that area. Spend time learning. Have a few hobbies.
Learning about personal finance and how to save money is one of my main hobbies--mostly because it directly benefits me and my family, and because of the constant reward of seeing my net worth increase. science gives me butterflies in my stomach. It feels good and it feels right when I spend time learning about it. I feel fulfilled and excited and want to know more. Reading helps me learn about both of my other hobbies, as well as get lost in another world from time to time. Giving to charity and volunteering give my life and situation some perspective.
2) Time to do #3. This directly ties into #5, as well.
My mom commutes over an hour to work every day, and that is just one trip--so she has to do more than 2 hours of driving just for work!! argh. That severely cuts down on the time she has to enjoy herself. She also regularly puts in more than 8 hours a day. As well as take care of my disabled father, ill sister, and the household, as WELL as pay all of the bills, and it's no wonder she's taking anti-depressants. If you don't have time, you can't spend time doing things you enjoy, which makes you less happy. P.S. my mom is interviewing for positions closer to home whenever she can. She's pretty senior in her field, and we live in a very rural area, so the positions are few and far between.
1) The biggie, in my opinion: Connecting to other people. Having a close bond with friends and family is essential to a happy life. It is a basic human need to feel understood, to have a place to go to when you are down, to have a network to rely on, an assortment of people that you know love you regardless of your actions. Think of it as an emotional emergency fund--money can sit there waiting for you until you need it, but you can have fun with people and invest in your relationships, and they will (hopefully) be there when you need them, which is much better. #2-6 fly out of the window if you don't have this--If you feel that you are an accepted part of your community, you will blossom. Your self-confidence will soar, you will draw people to you, in turn resulting in close connections with MORE people.
I know this first-hand--in college, i was miserable the first two years due to the lack of 1) time to have fun 2) connections to people. In grad school, it was like a complete 180. The whole time I was there I was intensely happy because everyone was interested in the same things I was, was available and had time to have fun together, and clicked emotionally with me and each other. We were very far away from our homes, which I think cemented us as our own family to replace our far away ones. My current city also lacks this, and therefore I am unhappy here as well (no time, lack of 'clickable' people). Must work on this one, as well---or move. I'm hoping my school venture takes care of this a little bit.
Synopsis:
They all kind of build on two concepts: being financially independent (not worrying about money and working smarter instead of longer hours gives you time to enjoy hobbies and people) and finding the 'its' that give you purpose in life (the actual learning, hobbies, and people that give that free time and money meaning). It is very interesting, because some people have one or the other, but still complain. Just having money and time--and even fame--isn't going to get you there...just look at Paris Hilton. Knowing what gives you purpose in life is somewhat less useful if you don't have the time or money to enjoy them. It really is the combination of the two--with a heavy weighting towards the 'its,' of course, that will lead to happiness (in my assessment, at least...feel free to comment!).
Of course, finding a job that incorporates the things that excite you, great pay, and people that you easily connect with is the ultimate jackpot, but I suppose that is the goal for those of us who aren't both independently wealthy and know exactly what we want out of life.
If you don't have the best job ever, there are things you can do to set yourself up for happiness: take care of your health, explore your interests outside of work, manage your finances so that you will one day have the freedom to walk away and possibly find that magic job, and budget your time so that you are able to have fun and time to enjoy your favorite hobbies and people in the meantime.
Looks like I need to get crackin' on my happiness net worth!
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